30. Caleb

THIRTY

Caleb

I felt them leave. I was angry at myself.

I had run.

Like a coward.

Like a lowly cur who was too chickenshit to fight.

I disgusted myself.

It had been a few days since I left, but she was in the cabin. The lights were low, but she was still awake. I could hear her moving around. She’d left my jeans on the porch, wrapped in a blanket, I assumed so they wouldn’t get wet from the snow that was falling.

She had stayed.

Another trick?

I remembered her telling me that she cared. That she’d fallen for me. It’s how I knew it was a trick. Humans weren’t allowed in my world.

She wasn’t allowed in my world. Her and me? A shifter and a human? It would never happen. My laws forbade it. Why hadn’t I seen that sooner? Had I been gone so long that I forgot simple pack reality?

Had she been so good at seduction that I forgot who I was?

I thought she was pure. Innocent. She was probably a cheap whore they found somewhere.

My wolf growled in warning, hating the way I’d spoken about her, and I hung my head, shame coursing through me. I knew that wasn’t true. Willow was innocent; she was everything I was not.

I heard the door creak open, and turning my head, I saw her standing in the doorway, a blanket wrapped around her.

“Hey.”

I walked forward as my wolf. I watched her as she took a step back into the cabin.

“I have soup on the stove,” she told me. “I’ll get you a bowl.” As she turned away, I knew that was her way of letting me change form.

Pulling on the jeans, I stepped onto the porch, but even a Will as strong as mine couldn’t make me walk inside that cabin.

She must have anticipated my reluctance, because she returned with a tray and two bowls of soup. We didn’t speak as we ate a simple meal, Willow cocooned in her blanket, avoiding looking at my bare feet on the wooden porch.

“You scared me the other day.” Placing her bowl on the tray, Willow looked at me. “Do you really think I’m here to manipulate you?”

“I don’t know why else you would be here.”

Her eyes flashed with pain, but she turned away quickly. “I’m truly sorry you think that, Caleb. ”

“When are they coming back?” I placed my own bowl on the tray. The soup had been nice, warm.

“A week.” She refused to look at me. “They’re not coming back for you,” she added. “They’re coming for me.” She looked back at me. “But that will only fuel your conspiracy theory, right?”

“You’re feeling feisty.”

“Am I?” Her eyes narrowed in anger. “I told you that I care about you! I kissed you, letting you in, letting you feel everything I feel for you, and you accused me of being a…a spy .”

“It doesn’t make sense.”

“That I’m a spy ? No shit!” She was angry, her cheeks flushed with temper. Seeing I wasn’t to be moved, she let out a loud sigh. “Fine. What doesn’t make sense?” Her eyes were hard, her face a mask of hurt. “That I could love you?”

Love?

Standing, I shook my head, enough was enough. “You don’t love me,” I told her angrily. “Goddess, you have no shame at all, do you?”

“How dare you.” Willow was seething. Standing quickly, she tightened her hold on the blanket. “You know what, fuck you, Caleb.” Storming inside, she slammed the door shut behind her.

Fuck me? Fuck me ? Furious, I stormed into the cabin. “You tell me that and think I’ll just believe you?”

Throwing her hands in the air, she shouted at me in exasperation. “Why would I lie?” Her hands fell to her hips. “Because I’m a spy?” Her tone was mocking, her face twisted into a grimace of hurt and disgust.

Shaking my head, I turned away. “You should go.” I heard her fall still behind me. “You don’t need to stay any longer. Go now. I’ll take you down myself.”

“To make sure I leave, right?”

“Willow…”

“No. You don’t get to Willow me.” She glared at me, anger simmering just below boiling. “You spent ten years hiding from this mountain, and now you think I’m going to leave you and your whispering shadows on it? Are you crazy?” She half laughed. “Yes, you are crazy. That’s what they’ve been trying to tell me.”

My anger was too close to the surface. I could feel my control slipping, the darkness that she so openly mocked wrapping around me, offering me their comfort.

She must have sensed the change. I saw her face become wary, and her scent changed to one of fear. “Caleb?”

“You need to go .” My head was down, and I felt them pulling at me, urging me to lose control. Urging me to lash out at her, make her feel how betrayed I felt when she lied to me.

How could she love me? I was a murderer. She didn’t love me. They made her say that. To manipulate me. To force me to leave.

“Caleb, what’s happening? You’re scaring me, your eyes are purple again…” She reached out to me, her voice calm but shaking slightly. “You’re not yourself, Caleb…this isn’t you.”

“Get out .”

She didn’t need to be told twice. With one fearful look, she ran past me, out into the snow. Out into the black merciless night.

Panting, I tried to wrestle for control. Looking around, I saw the familiar cabin of Nell’s. I shouldn’t be in here .

She made me come in here when she knew I didn’t want to.

That bitch .

With a snarl, I ran after her.

I reached her easily. Grabbing her, I pulled her towards me with a growl that sounded loud in the quiet of the night. My strength easily overpowered hers, and I saw her fear as I looked down at her.

“Caleb, you don’t want to hurt me, I know you don’t,” she whispered quickly. “Let me go.”

I felt them pulling, tugging me under, whispers getting louder in the night.

Screams sounded all around me.

Screams of my pack as they were killed in their beds because of a traitor .

I remembered the fear. Knowing I would never reach them in time. That I would never stop the massacre of that night.

Knowing that I was responsible for the slaughter that followed.

I slashed out at the memories. Purging them from my mind so I never had to see it again.

Willow gasped, her sudden sharp inhale catching my attention.

Looking down, I saw the blood. Deep scratches torn through her clothes, across her skin.

My hands were claws.

Claws painted in blood.

Her blood.

The whispered screams turned to taunting laughter. Filling my head. Echoing all around me. Twisting and turning, I tried to clear my head of the sound .

“Caleb?”

The laughter stopped abruptly as the fog lifted from my mind, as I stared in horror at her as she bled in my arms.

“No… No ! Willow !”

Her legs buckled and I followed her down to the ground, my hand pressing against the wounds. “Willow, no, I didn’t—” My voice cracked as the magnitude of what I’d done overwhelmed me. “Willow, I didn’t mean…”

Her hand cupped the side of my face, her eyes full of pain, but she touched me so softly. “You didn’t do this,” she whispered, her voice faint. “This wasn’t you, Caleb. I know that. I don’t blame you.”

I felt nothing but sudden clarity. My mind felt clear for the first time in what felt like years.

But it was too late.

I’d hurt her. I was the one who made her bleed.

Tilting my head back, I screamed into the night. “ Goddess ! Help me!”

The mountain was still, broken only by Willow’s ragged breathing. Bending down, I kissed her forehead. “I’m going to fix this.”

“It’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” She smiled up at me as I cradled her in my arms. “I can see you.” Her voice was little more than a whisper. “Your eyes are clear of the shadows. Don’t let them come for you.” Her voice was so faint. “I would have loved you. If we had more time. I’m sorry.”

Her eyes closed and I felt her life spilling out over my hands, not as fast as before.

“No. ”

Looking towards the sky, I saw the sliver of the silver moon as it appeared slowly from behind the cloud cover.

“ No .” Getting to my feet, I lifted her in my arms as I headed to the cabin. “No, Luna, you don’t get to take her too.”

Laying her down on the bed, I stepped back. Her chest barely moved as I made my decision. Biting into my wrist, I stepped forward. I heard the creak of a floorboard behind me.

With my wrist over her mouth, I turned and faced the door to see who dared enter here.

“ Stop .”

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