16. Willow

SIXTEEN

Willow

Everything hurt.

Everything hurt and it was very loud. Machines were whirring, and a strange sound like an air pump kept hissing.

It was dark.

Where was I?

Panic seized me as I remembered the accident. I’d been in a truck, and I remembered the terror as the truck rolled.

Beeping sounded all around me.

The air pump was hissing louder.

Oh God, where was I?

Something was holding my eyes closed. Is that why it was dark? I couldn’t move. I couldn’t see.

Panic overtook me, and I struggled to fight against my restraints. Shaking my head from side to side, I fought to see. Voices penetrated my panic, and then warm fingers curled around my arms, a familiar touch.

“Sir, you must stand back!”

“Willow!” The sharp voice was so familiar to me, and I stopped struggling as I felt his warmth envelop me. “Willow, calm down. You’re in a hospital. Open your eyes.”

How could I tell him I couldn’t? Something was in my throat; were they trying to choke me? Panicked once more, I shook free of his hold, and my hands reached for my mouth, finding something plastic over it.

“No, no, no ! Willow, no , leave the tube, you need to breathe through it,” Caleb scolded me. I felt his hands take mine, and I clutched onto his strong hands. “That’s it, I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

I was safe. Caleb had me. I tried to squeeze his hands to let him know I was okay.

“Open your eyes.”

It took so much effort to do that. It felt like they would never open. Was he sure I could open them? Slowly, so slowly, they lifted and instantly shut against the bright lights. A hand cupped the side of my face.

“Try again, I’m blocking the lights now,” he spoke gently. My eyes opened quicker this time, and the blurriness took shape, and I saw his deep chocolate brown eyes filled with concern. I started to cry, and he smiled. “I didn’t think I was that bad to look at,” he teased gently, wiping away a tear with his thumb.

I tried to speak and felt the pain of the tube in my throat. Caleb understood and stood back, taking my hand when I grabbed for him.

“Take the tube out of her,” he commanded tersely. “She can breathe on her own.”

“We’ll wait for the doctor,” came the equally curt reply.

“And when will he be here? ”

“Soon.” She didn’t sound convinced.

“Fuck that.”

My eyes widened in alarm when he came back into my line of vision with that determined look on his face. He reached up and I felt the sharp tug of tape being removed from my mouth.

“Sir!” The nurse sounded exasperated and furious, and it amused me how he seemed to get most people to react to him like that. “Oh for goodness sake,” she muttered, and then I saw her too. She was older than us, pretty, with warm blue eyes that looked down at me. “When I tell you to, push out a big breath, okay?”

I didn’t understand, but then before I knew what was happening, the tube was being pulled out of me, and I struggled to breathe as it was pulled from my esophagus. As I was coughing and spluttering, Caleb was there with a cup of water with a straw, encouraging me to drink. The nurse took over, checking me and instructing me through the wheezing.

“You’re okay,” she assured me gently. “Can you breathe?”

Tears streamed down my face, but I could, I could breathe. “Yes.” The frog voice was not unexpected, but still, it was enough of a shock to make me stop speaking.

“Drink more water,” Caleb commanded from his perch on the side of my bed, ignoring the nurse’s command for him to get off, and I saw the nurse’s eyes narrow with impatience.

“Let’s just let your wife catch her breath first,” she told him in a no-nonsense tone.

It took a few minutes, but I was helped to sit up. She checked my vitals, whatever they were, and also let me sip water. The whole time, Caleb waited impatiently at the side, and the whole time, I kept my gaze fixed on him.

“Right.” With a sigh, she finally stood back. “I’ll go get the doctor and leave you two.” She spoke to him more than me. “Do not overexert her. Understand?” The look he gave her would have made lesser men falter; she barely blinked. “Glad we cleared that up.”

When the door closed behind her, he was beside me, his hand curling around mine. “Tell me how you feel. What hurts?”

“Everything hurts,” I said honestly, wincing as I tried to sit up more. “Wife? Again?”

Strong capable hands hooked under my armpits, and I was gently but effortlessly pulled up to sit straighter. “It keeps me in the room, no questions,” he explained.

Made sense. “Nothing broken?” I asked in surprise, looking down at myself.

“Truck looks like shit,” he told me. “It’s definitely broken.”

“Doc?” I was almost too scared to ask.

“Cannon and his pack have him.”

“Ned got to him?” I was confused. Why would they take Doc and not take me?

“Sure.”

It was his tone of voice, the fact he looked away from me when he said it. “You have no idea, do you?” I accused him.

Caleb met my look, and instead of answering, he picked up the cup of water. “Drink. You’re making my throat dry with how hoarse you sound.”

I didn’t get the chance to tell him it was because I had a breathing tube down my throat—he was already placing the straw between my lips. I sucked water, maintaining eye contact, so I saw his eyes dip to my mouth. His eyes flared, and he quickly looked away.

What the heck was that ?

Pulling my head back, I wiped my mouth with a shaky hand. “Do you know where Doc is? Ned?”

“They’re not here,” he told me, too casually. “I assume that’s a good thing.”

“You assume?” I didn’t bother hiding my irritation. “How can you not care?”

His look turned hard. “I killed two shifters to get to you,” he told me bluntly. “Two who I assume were the reason your truck rolled to start with. I carried you back to the road, bleeding and almost dead, and then I rode with you here. I haven’t left your side, so I don’t know where they are. All I cared about was that you lived. Now that I know you will, I can find out what happened to them. Happy?”

I was speechless. Caleb’s matter-of-fact way of delivering harsh truths was something that always took a moment to process. It had been a while since I’d last seen him, and I’d almost forgotten how incredibly jarring his bluntness could be. He was such a strange contradiction—unapologetically honest yet cloaked in a veil of deception that left you unsure of what to believe. I’d never met anyone like him. How could he be so forthright, but you still felt like he was hiding something?

“What? Nothing to say?” His tone was mocking, and I reached out to punch him for it. That was about as effective as a feather hitting a wall.

“You’re still a contrary A-hole then?” I grumbled as he looked at me in amusement.

“What you see is what you get. ”

“Is it though?” I challenged him. “I don’t think it is. I never know what to expect from you,” I told him truthfully. With a sigh, I dropped my head back against the pillows. “I’m exhausted,” I admitted. “And I hurt, and shouldn’t they be giving me, like, nice lovely drugs that make me not hurt?”

Caleb broke eye contact with me, his eyes on the door instead. “I told them you were anti-pain medication.”

I knew I was gaping at him. “ Why ?” My mouth opened and closed a few times in disbelief. “I was in a truck that rolled over a lot . I was pretty much the human equivalent of a cat in a washing machine. Why wouldn’t you let me get drugs?”

“Painkillers,” he corrected absently, his voice lacking any warmth. His deep brown eyes, so rich and delicious, were closed off and unyielding. I hated that look—the way it had become so familiar, like a wall I could never break through. “I needed you coherent when you woke up,” he continued brusquely. “I need you awake and alert because I can’t be here with you twenty-four seven.”

The last part caught my attention first. “What? Why? You just said you told them I was your wife for that very reason!” My voice was sharper than I wanted it to be, but the panic I was feeling at his statement was real. The idea that he would leave me now, of all times, was making my heart pound. “Tell me you aren’t leaving?”

The unspoken again lingered between us like a weight, pulling the air tight between us.

His jaw clenched, his gaze shifting away from mine for a moment, betraying an emotion I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Guilt? Weariness? Frustration? With Caleb, it was impossible to tell.

“I have to leave,” he told me, the words labored as if saying them was against his will. “Things are happening, things I need to understand.”

My heart was sinking with every word that he spoke, and I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “And what about me? What if they come for me again?”

His eyes flicked back to mine, softer now, still guarded but gentler. “Nothing will happen to you again. I won’t be far.” He reached out, his hand hovering in the space between us before he pulled it back to his side. “Blackridge Peak Pack will be close. Cannon won’t be far away.”

“You don’t know that,” I protested. “You don’t even know where he is.”

Caleb didn’t answer that, brushing it off as he spoke. “You’ll be safe, Willow.”

Safe. The word was losing any connotation of what it was supposed to mean. It felt hollow now. An empty promise spoken to keep me grounded and stop me from spiraling, no doubt.

“You keep saying that,” I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest, an act more of self-defense than defiance. “But it doesn’t feel like I am. It hasn’t for a long time, not since you left.”

Caleb was silent and I was sure that may have been worse than arguing. It was like he was agreeing with me without saying the words.

“They broke into my store,” I told him, watching him closely. “And my home, Caleb. My home .”

“Done that a few times myself.” He heard my gasp of outrage, and his head dipped. “That came out wrong, honest.” My eyebrows must have been climbing into my hairline, because I heard his sigh. “I know they broke in, and I know you’re scared, and I know we need— I need—to put a stop to it.”

“Wait until I get out. I was coming to find you . Now you’re here, please wait for me to get out.”

Caleb looked me over, and I hated to think how bad I looked in the hospital bed. What did he see, a weak and broken woman who didn’t have an ounce of strength?

“I can’t keep you safe if I’m dragging you into danger with me.” He stood from the bed. “And I can’t fight if I’m standing still.”

“Fine.” My voice was sharp. Angry. “Go. Do what you want. You’re going to anyway.”

“I’ll check back with you. Stay alert.”

I heard him move, but I refused to look at him. I couldn’t. I knew I was going to cry, and I refused to let him see me even weaker than he already thought.

I felt the bed dip, and strong fingers caressed my jaw, turning my head. Caleb looked down at me, a hint of affection in his gaze that warmed the chill of his earlier words. “So stubborn,” he murmured, a teasing tone to his voice that didn’t echo the tension between us of only a moment ago.

Dipping his head, his lips brushed mine—gently, tenderly—causing a flutter of warmth low in my belly. The uneasiness between us faded, and the anger and unresolved feelings melted away as he kissed me again, a little deeper. His mouth caught mine so easily, claiming it as his. He nipped my bottom lip before he pulled back.

As he broke the kiss, reality returned, and I struggled to regain my composure and control my racing heart. “Caleb? ”

He looked so conflicted, his eyes closing briefly, and I wondered if he needed to take a beat too. “I shouldn’t have done that; it wasn’t fair.”

“Why? Because you’re leaving anyway?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why kiss me?” I itched to reach out to him, but I kept my hands on the bed linen.

“It felt like the right thing to do.”

There was that honesty again, truth laced with something else. “Or an easy play to make me shut up, you mean?”

“I’m not playing.” His voice was stronger, steadier. “You mean something to me, but I can’t stay here with you when I know I need to be out there finding out who wants to hurt you, and why.”

“And if something happens while you’re gone? If something happens to you , how will I know, how?—”

“Willow.” His voice was firm but gentler. “You are stronger than you think, and you need to trust me.”

Trust? It tasted as bitter as the word safe . But I couldn’t deny the look in his eyes, the commitment he had to protect me, and hadn’t he just said I meant something? Surely that meant something? Maybe there was something here, between us, that I could hold onto. Something that I could drive myself insane over when he wasn’t here and my brain overthought every word and look between us.

“Okay,” I finally relented. I didn’t miss how his shoulders dropped slightly as he relaxed at my acceptance. “Don’t do anything reckless,” I warned him. “Don’t leave again without coming back to tell me.”

“I won’t.” He turned swiftly, and his footsteps sounded loud as he walked to the door. He didn’t look back, and I didn’t call out for him to stay, because he wouldn’t, and I knew that.

The door clicked shut, and I sat in the sudden stillness of the room, thinking of everything that had been said. He was gone, but the link between us, I knew it was still there. I could feel it. A fragile thread that tied us together no matter the distance.

Looking around the hospital room, I was suddenly faced with my reality. Someone had run us off the road.

They’d tried to kill us.

They were following me.

I had no idea if Doc was okay, if Ned had him, or even if either of them was alive. I’d been so focused on Caleb and him being here I hadn’t demanded he go and find out if they were okay. He said he would, but what good did that do if he wasn’t coming back right away?

Were they safe?

There was that word again. How long had it been since I was safe? It felt like such a distant memory. A past life, before Caleb, before shifters, before their world crashed into mine.

Each time someone told me I was safe, it felt less convincing, and now I was sure it was just a lie. No one believed we were safe, because it was just something you said but held little reassurance.

My home and my store had been broken into. I’d been followed. I’d run from a motel in the middle of the night as we got chased. I’d been run off the road. Caleb had killed two shifters who tried to get me.

Now, I was alone in a hospital room, while the people who were after me were out there somewhere, probably waiting for their next opportunity. The one person I trusted most to keep them away had just walked out the door. I don’t even know why I trusted him either.

The room was suffocatingly quiet. I could hear activity outside, nurses and doctors going about their business and other patients, but no one was coming to me. Had Caleb pissed the nurse off so much? I smiled despite myself at the thought. He probably did. He was abrasive at the best of times.

Pushing the sheet down, I inspected my body. Huge bruises on my legs, bandages, and gauze everywhere, I looked like a patchwork quilt. Pulling the gown away from my chest, I winced at the color of the bruising across my chest and abdomen. My back felt equally battered and bruised.

Maybe I looked worse than I was. The doctor hadn’t come, so I guessed that was a good thing. My quick check over had revealed the catheter, and I resigned myself to waiting for someone to come check on me.

My head was thumping, and I tried to scoot down on the bed to get more comfortable. As I lay in the silence, I tried not to think of how vulnerable I was. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease, and I wanted Caleb to come back.

You mean something to me .

I knew that would come back when I had nothing else to distract me. Did I mean something to him? The kiss would suggest I did, or I was fooling myself. Because if I meant something, surely he would stay when I needed him?

He left to keep you safe.

That freaking word was mocking me now .

Looking down at my bruised body, the thumping in my head intensifying, I had the rogue thought, if this was their idea of safety…I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle.