7. Cannon

It seemedthe medical ward was part of the bunker, and Doc had merely repainted it. I remained quiet as we walked down the hall to the doors that led outside.

“I need to run,” I told them as I walked ahead. “I need fresh air. I need to run and fill my lungs. I know how much there is to talk about—I need this first.” I didn’t want to look at any of them. I didn’t want to see their pity.

“I’ll follow,” Nikan said. “You’re never to be alone until this is over.”

At the doors to the outside, I turned to look at my brother. “And when is it over?”

“When every one of them who knew about this is dead.”

My lips tightened into a firm line as my eyes flicked to Royce, who looked back at me, stone-faced. “We’ll talk when I come back.”

I’d shifted before any of them could answer, blocking the mindlink, and as the breeze teased me, washing away the smell of the lingering sage, I ran.

With every stride, my paws sank further into the terrain. Stronger. I felt the healing magic of the Goddess as I picked up speed. The wind whistled past. Dipping my head lower to the ground, I pushed myself further. Faster. The heaviness of my human body left me as I ran.

Days of lying motionless. Still. Unable to move. Were shed as I ran up the mountain. I never wanted to feel that again.

At a stream, I paused and drank the fresh water of the mountains. I sensed my brother behind me, but he never came too close. He was giving me space, I knew.

Plus, I’d been outrunning him all his life.

Movement amidst the sparse copse of trees caught my attention, and swiftly I took off after the rabbit, the familiar thrill of the chase calming my inner being.

I shared my catch with Nikan, and when I was fed and soothed within, I opened the mindlink.

You are angry.

My brother looked at me before turning his attention to the east. Angry? I could rip the bastards apart with my hands.

I knew anger like that. It burned deep and strong within you, until it either engulfed you entirely or extinguished your flame. My brother burned too bright for that to be his end.

I feel your rage, brother. Trust me, I do. I commiserated. But hate only takes us so far, Nikan, don’t let it consume you.

You almost died. Twice.

I stood, then stretched. I felt every moment of it.

They will pay.

Trotting over to the slightly smaller wolf, I bit at his ear playfully. They will—all of them who were involved in this.

Nikan swiped at my nose when I nipped him, and I breathed a sigh of relief at seeing some of the lightness returning to my brother. We ran side by side back down the mountain, the wind behind us, our footing sure, and our speed almost reckless.

My return to my pack was them seeing me approaching them at great speed, racing my brother to an imaginary finish line, and both of us feeling better than we had in weeks.

As I walked the streets as my wolf, I let the pack in, humbled at the outpouring of love and support they sent. In my boot room, I shifted, pulling on jeans, and then I went back outside, walking the streets of our home, letting my pack see me, giving them the reassurance they needed that their alpha was ready to fight for the attack on our pack. Because to strike an alpha was a strike to the pack.

We were ready to retaliate.

Nikan walked beside me, and at some point, Royce flanked me, the three of us being seen together, united, and ready for vengeance.

Because I would have my vengeance. The more I thought about it, the keener I was to be back in my study with my men, getting up to speed. But the pack came first, and I could school my patience just as they had waited for me to be healed. I needed to be there for them now. Reassure them. Ease their concerns and worries.

It went well, and it was when I was heading back to the house that I saw them waiting for me at the gate.

“Well, this is going to be interesting,” Royce muttered.

“Willy, Barbara,” I greeted. “How are you both?”

Barbara was as timid as I remembered, and Willy as blunt as always. “Where’s Kezia?”

“Not here,” I answered with a polite smile.

“Is she in danger?”

“Where is she?” Willy asked at the same time.

“Yes.”

Royce and I both turned to Nikan, who shrugged at our glares of warning. “What? She is.”

“From who?” Barbara asked, stepping forward. “Bale?” Her timidness was gone as she met my eyes. “Or you?”

Nikan went to speak, but Royce cut him off. “Kezia is not our immediate concern. She’s with someone who will protect her at all costs.”

Willy noticed his slight hesitation over someone but said nothing, her gaze locking on me.

Barbara was still watching me. “Aren’t you the one who should protect her at all costs?” she asked quietly. “She is your mate.”

“Landon,” Royce grunted. “She is Landon’s mate.”

Barbara looked at Royce as if he was an idiot. In fact, both women were wearing identical expressions of who do you think you’re kidding?

“I changed your diapers, boy,” Willy reminded me.

“She’s safe,” I told them, relenting under the disapproving frown of the older female. Willy was right, she was no fool, and I learned a long time ago that she saw right through all my bullshit. I also had my inner voice nagging at me, questioning whether Kezia was actually safe.“As Royce said, she’s with someone who would do anything for her.”

Even heal me. A pull in my belly caused me to look up the mountain. Where would Moonstar go? How long would it take before Kezia came back?

Wouldshe come back? Unease sat deep within me.

“Alpha?” Royce nodded towards the house. “You ready?”

“Yes.” Looking at the two women, I said my goodbyes and headed inside the house. I wasn’t surprised to see Doc and Leo waiting for me. When the doors to the study were closed, I turned to everyone in the room. “Where is she? Who followed her when she left?”

Nikan was the first one to speak. “No one. She was gone before we knew she’d finished doing whatever it was she did to you.”

My gaze darted over the four of them. “No one? At all?” I knew my surprise showed. “You left her alone with me?”

Royce snorted. “You say it as if we were given a choice. There was none. The thing that inhabits her body acts with a primal force. She parted her hands, made a gesture that forced us apart, and then simply walked between us. In a few strides, she was at your side. By the time we were able to move again, she had already pushed us out of the room, locking the door behind us.”

“She is strong,” I conceded. Why was there no guard outside?

“Anyone we left outside, on guard, including us, couldn’t stay awake long enough.” Leo’s eyes were narrowed in remembrance. “I don’t know what the fuck she is, but I was glad she was on your side.”

My eyes met Royce’s heavy gaze, and I didn’t correct Leo. Moonstar was not on my side. I don’t think she was even on Kezia’s.

“We need to find her,” I told them as I turned to look out the window. I expected the protests, my brother being the loudest, but I waited for them to calm down, which they did when I didn’t immediately answer their questions. “Kezia has not betrayed me,” I told them when their protests had reduced to grumbles of discontent.

“Tev said?—”

“He told me what any liar would. A lie.” Turning back to them, I addressed them all. “The thing that would hurt most? Apart from the silver,” I added with a quirk of my lips, “would be to tell me that my mate had betrayed me.” I ignored Leo’s surprised look at the others when I called Kezia my mate as I carried on. “He wouldn’t have known the silver hadn’t stopped all my power. I was lucky?—”

“Lucky?” Nikan was on his feet, rage twisting his features into a mask of anger. “You have no fucking idea what we found!” He started to pace, and I let him vent his anger. I didn’t know, but I could imagine. To see their alpha brought low would have been a worrying sight.

“I know I was dying,” I spoke bluntly. “I never heard Royce’s answer. When I passed out, I thought that was it. It was too late. I knew, as I lay in the bed and the surgeries I went through, that my days on this earth were over.” The four of them avoided my eyes as I spoke. “I also know I wasn’t ready to go,” I added softly. “Thank you all for agreeing with me.” Nikan wouldn’t look at me still, and I directed my next statement to him. “And I know she wouldn’t do this to me. Kezia loves me. As I do her.”

“Then where is she?” Leo asked quietly. “Alpha, I’ve never doubted you, not once. But…if she’s your mate? Where is she? Why did she leave?”

“There is no if, she is my mate.” My voice was sharper than it should have been, given what they had all been through. I met Nikan’s glare. “She will always be my mate. And she’s in danger.”

My brother snorted, looking away from me.

“Moonstar,” Royce spoke for the first time. “I knew it was her when she used magic. Kezia will come back on her own.” He didn’t look happy about it. “Like she always does. And, Alpha,I’m telling you now, I am not chasing the mountains looking for her.” His look was steady. “You and I are needed right here. Anterrio has made its move. It’s time to counter.”

“Kezia won’t come back.”

Doc looked at me. He had been quiet throughout the exchange. “Why?”

Anxiety spread through me. I didn’t like it. “I need to find her. Sooner rather than later. Just…trust me on this.”

“No.” Nikan stood. “Because she can’t be trusted.”

I understood my brother was angry, but his attitude towards Kezia was surprising. “Nikan, I know you’re pissed, I’m pissed. She should never have left, but she did, and I believe, truly believe, she left because she thought she had to. She wasn’t part of the attack on me.”

His cold stare was a look I had never seen in my brother before. “If she hadn’t left, you wouldn’t have been out looking for her. You wouldn’t have been blind to the danger in front of you, but you were, and it’s because of her.”

My temper picked up to match his. “No. It isn’t. The reason Tev stabbed me is my fault. Because I gave a poisonous old fucker a pardon when I knew how much he hated me. I should have killed him the day I killed Rek. I allowed Tev to strike me. I gave him the means to have access to me. Access and familiarity in my pack that it wouldn’t have mattered who I was out on the street for, or even if I was walking home from the food hall. He stuck a knife in my back because he believed I did the same to Rek when I never told him I was an alpha.”

Nikan dipped his head, not meeting my eye, the same as he always did when our father was mentioned.

“I hid my scent and my power, and I only came back to the pack when I knew I was strong enough to take it.” Nikan’s anger was cooling, but mine was not. “Tev told me the day Rek lay at my feet, dead. He said I only succeeded because I had blindsided our father as if I had stabbedhim in the back.” I shook my head. “Kezia is not part of that. Tev wanted to hurt me like I hurt him when I betrayed his alpha and killed him.” Running my hand through my hair, I tilted my head back to look at the ceiling. “What happened with Tev is myfault because I allowed him to live when he should have died the same night our father did.”

Nikan sat down, still refusing to look at me. Royce watched me carefully and I couldn’t stop the huff of laughter. “And yes, Royce, you can say I told you so.”

It was the first smile I had seen on my beta’s face for a while. “Well,” he said solemnly, the smile fading. “We are all at fault. I advocated for his death that night, but over time, I no longer saw him as a threat, just a bitter old bastard. So I won’t say I told you so, I will apologize for not sticking to my gut.”

“We were all blindsided by Tev,” Doc spoke up. “We are all to blame.” He also wouldn’t meet my eye, and I made a note to find out why later. “Why are you so worried about Kezia? The being inside of her has her, and we all know what she’ll do to protect her. We’ve seen it before.”

I watched him shake his head as he remembered walking into the room where he had kept Vance a prisoner and seeing what Moonstar had left of his body.

“But you’re not worried about that, are you?” Leo was frowning as he watched me. “I know that look, Alpha. Served with you too long not to know when you’re worried.”

“I need to find her.”

“Why?” Leo asked. “I don’t know what’s fully going on. I know I thought, like we all did, that she was part of it, and therefore I was ready to do what we needed. She came back, she healed you, or something that looked like her did.” Leo hesitated. “From the magic I saw and the power that she had…she doesn’t look like she needs your help, Alpha.”

“She does!” I growled angrily. “Because she isn’t Kezia. My mate is inside still, and she needs me to get her out.” Fear gripped my heart. “I hope I am strong enough.”

“You’ve done it before,” Royce said gruffly.

I nodded in reply, but the feeling of panic, now that I had addressed it, was slowly climbing up my insides, hooking itself into my throat and making my mouth dry.

“Tell us?” Doc prompted.

“Moonstar, the spirit inside her,” I explained for Leo’s benefit, “hates me. I’ve used my Will on her before to bring Kezia back.” I swallowed. “I think Anterrio was holding Kezia as a prisoner, and Moonstar broke them free. She took the shaman, someone very dear to Kezia. You saw the state of him; he’s in a hospital bed for fuck’s sake. Something’s happening in Anterrio that’s beyond fucked up if they are hurting their shaman. Moonstar brought him here to safety, and she healed me. She told me she did it for Kezia.” Fear prickled low in my gut. “I remember, right before the pain of her healing, she said she knows what she asked of us. For her, we will heal you.”

Leo looked at Nikan, whose head was down, then to Royce who was tight-lipped, his stare worried as he watched me. “Alpha?”

“She’s not coming back?” Nikan’s rage was simmering, his look uncertain, and I counted it as progress.

“I don’t think so,” I admitted. “I must find her.”

“You think she did it?” Royce spoke. “Don’t you?”

“I do.” Turning back to the window, I looked out at my pack. “And I want revenge on Anterrio Pack as much as you all do, and we will get it. But…”

“What do we think she did?” Leo asked behind me.

“She gave up control,” I whispered, scared that giving voice to my fear would make it even more real. Looking over my shoulder, I confessed, “She gave it up, and I don’t know if I can get her back.”

“For her freedom? For her and the old shifter?” Doc asked, his forehead furrowed in thought.

“For me.” I knew it in my heart. My mate had surrendered her soul to the spirit that resided in her body so that Moonstar would heal me. “My life, for hers.”