8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

ALEX

I went straight over to his mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of water chugging half of it to try and get the nerves under control. I turned around to find him sitting patiently on the edge of his desk with a smirk on his face. So much for the ice cold professional I intended to be.

“Sorry, I should’ve asked,” I said, lifting the half empty bottle to my mouth once more .

He laughed and even his laugh was sexy. This was distracting.

“No, help yourself, it’s not like you haven’t been here before.”

I know, seriously, it shouldn’t be this difficult. His arms were open like he was waiting for me to finish.

“It just feels weird. It feels like the first time for some reason, except clearly, I know where you keep the water. Sorry, I should’ve asked you if you wanted one while I was in there.” This was not going well at all. His eyes and that stare are making this difficult.

He blinked away the stare and said, “Why don’t you just have a seat over here and we can get to it.”

Get to it? I thought as my body started heating up and sweat started to coat my palms. Why am I feeling like this? Just a few days ago I was terrified of him. Get a grip.

I took another drink, smiled and pulled up the chair in front of his desk. He bumped into me as he moved back around to his side of the desk. A shiver ran through my body and settled between my thighs.

As I was trying to get my thoughts together and settle my libido, he interrupted.

“What is this favor you want to ask of me?”

Oh, you know, for you to rip my clothes off and bend me over this desk like we’ve talked about before. Oh shit, Alex, what the hell is going on?

I could feel the heat coming off me, so I knew he could too. By the look on his face, he knew exactly how I was feeling. Was I feeling this way because he was? Or was he feeling this way because I was? I don’t know how to control this anymore. I wonder if I ever really could.

He snickered, “Do you need me to turn the air down a bit?”

He was having fun with this, wasn’t he?

I smiled and shook my head. No sense in pretending it’s not happening. I know we have a weird connection. “No, it’s fine.” I insisted. “The favor is…I’d like to know if you have an apprentice program?” He looked shocked. It was the same expression Harrison wore in the elevator, so I hurried and clarified, “Not for me. I know someone who would love to learn about construction and building and I told him I would talk to you.” I sat up straight and crossed my legs then rested my hands on my knees. Mostly to stop my knees from bouncing up and down.

“As of right now, no, but Amelia and I are getting a committee together to discuss this exact program. We want our own in-house contractors. Who’s the person you’d like me to help?”

“Darius Jackson. Ella’s grandson.” I stated, matter-of-factly.

“The drug dealer?” he asked with shock on his gorgeous face like I was insane.

I shook my head and raised my hand dismissively and said, “Not a drug dealer. That was the cops trying to create drama. He’s the one that stepped in to protect me from the kid with the knife.” He looked a little more at ease but still skeptical with his brow raised.

“Well, what is it about this kid that you think he’d be a good fit for my company?”

Now it feels like an interview and there’s nothing that turns me on less than an interview. I need something to focus on other than his tongue sweeping over his bottom lip.

“He has definite leadership skills, he’s very intelligent and he got super excited about the prospect of either working in construction or just having a real job.” I kept my eyes locked on his because they were less distracting than his lips. “He said construction was something that highly interested him. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when no one will give you a chance.”

Roman hadn’t taken his eyes off me the whole time and it was starting to get hard to breathe in here now. He stood up and turned around to look out of the window, breaking our connection, then walked over to his fridge and got a bottle of water, tipping it back just like I had. I almost started laughing until he came over and sat on the edge of the desk right in front of me. I held my breath as I looked away and scooted my chair back a little. The proximity was too much.

He looked intensely at me and said, “You’re right. People do feel better about themselves when you give them a chance.”

I know that jab was directed at me. I’m just going to pretend I have no idea what he’s doing.

“Yes, so does that mean you’ll do it? Or at least consider it?” I sat back and clasped my hands. Crisis averted; I hope.

“Yes, on one condition…”

Oh great, here it comes, his way of getting me to spend time with him.

“We’d like you to take over the relocation of the residents. Grant can’t handle it with everything else he’s got going on and it’s out of Matt’s scope of knowledge. I had a meeting with Matt before this and he said they’ve got some relocation properties, but they can’t do much more than locate stuff.”

I wasn’t expecting that at all. But I knew what a difficult position I’d left people in with this project.

“Yes, I’ll do it, I’m in. I obviously have the time, and I think I’ve let everyone down enough.” I wanted to run out of there but I was worried he would stop me like he had yesterday. “I guess I should meet with Matt and Grant to see where I need to catch up.” He seemed to be good with that. At least that’s the way I took it from his nod.

“That’s a good place to start.”

Perfect. Good enough. Almost home free. I scooted to the edge of my seat.

“I have to get going. I have training in forty-five minutes, and I still need to change.” I stood up cautiously, maneuvering around him– careful not to touch. I thought I was getting out of there unscathed, but of course that was too good to be true.

“Before you go…”

Shit! I looked down at my shaky hands before turning back around.

***

ROMAN

Damn, what was she thinking about right now? I adjusted the front of my slacks before she turned around, trying to get control of my own arousal. It’s nice to know that connection is still there.

“Before you go, I have a personal request.” I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back on the desk, legs comfortably apart stretched out in front of me. I wanted her to see I wasn’t getting up to stop her. She turned around, keeping a safe distance. She had an apprehensive look on her face– a nervous, twitchy smile. “I’d like you to have dinner with me tonight. I’m not going to make excuses. I want to talk about us.” I dropped my hands to grip the edge of the desk, maybe to hold myself to this spot. I wanted to get up and crush her to my body. “I’m being honest, I just want to talk.” She put her hand over her mouth and looked around the room like she was trying to figure out a way out of this. Then she tapped the side of her leg nervously.

“Training is over at 5:30…” She just began rambling. “...then I need to take a shower and get ready. I don’t know how I’m going to feel afterwards.” She was staring at the ground picking the invisible lint from her pants when she drew in a breath and replied, “But I guess you can pick me up at seven, if that works?” She looked up at me through her thick lashes. “I know I owe you at least a conversation. ”

The last part of her sentence sort of whispered away. Damn I wanted to hold her, but I got what I wanted so I’ll let her go for now.

“Thank you. I’ll pick you up at seven. I can just meet you at the valet?”

“That would be great,” she agreed. “I’ll see you then.” I walked her out to the elevator. She said bye to Amelia, smiled and waved as the doors closed.

“So, how did it go?” Amelia inquired as she stood up and leaned over the desk.

“It was very productive. We all got what we wanted.” All, meaning me, her, Matt, and everyone in Burrow Township.

“How was it?” Harrison strolled up, leaning on Amelia’s desk.

“It was good. She’s going to help with the neighborhood. She asked me if I would give someone a job. It equates to something I was talking about earlier…” I spoke straight to Amelia now, “ …about training people so we have in-house contractors. We need to get on that next week. Do I have anything else as far as meetings go today?”

“No, that was the last one.” She seemed relieved to be done with this day too.

“Good, I don’t have anything either, let’s go have a drink.” Harrison suggested.

Nope, I have a date to get ready for.

“I’m not in the mood to go out.”

“Ok, then we go up to your place. Amelia, are you free right now?” Harrison asked as he winked at her. I looked at Amelia and she shook her head no. Too bad. Now I feel like having that drink .

“You are now, come on up, looks like we’re having happy hour at my place.” Amelia sighed as she grabbed her stuff and we headed up to the penthouse. I’d never hung out with Amelia before. This should be interesting .

I poured Amelia a white wine and Harrison poured himself a bourbon.

“Hey man, pour me one too…” I said as I handed Amelia her drink. “Not like it’s my house or anything.” I said under my breath.

Just make yourself at home.

Amelia sat on the stool at the kitchen island, keeping to herself. “You’re quiet, anything you need to tell me?” She had a surprisingly guilty look on her face.

“Not that I know of, just didn’t expect this today is all.” She muttered.

Harrison chuckled as he handed me a bourbon neat, just the way I like it. “Well, I’m not good with these weird awkward moments so I’m just going to say it…”

Amelia practically shouts as she cuts him off, “Um, yeah, there is actually something.” She sent a dirty look Harrison’s way, “Roman, you clearly haven’t been yourself at the office and I was wondering if you needed me to take on more responsibility as far as meetings go?..” I looked between the two of them curiously. “Also, I’m going to need a list of names of everyone you want me to include in the meeting for the new training-contractors division.” She shot another warning glance at Harrison who was now turning around to hide the smirk on his face as he threw back the rest of his bourbon. He walked over to the bar laughing and poured himself another. This is happy hour, why are we talking about work? Is this the only shit I know about Amelia? And what the hell is going on between them?

“Is that really what you want to talk about? What do you do when you’re not working? I sure as hell hope you’re not worried about me when you’re at home. And Harrison, what the fuck were you about to say that freaked her out so bad?” Harrison’s still laughing and fills up Amelia’s wine and he leans towards her like he’s going to kiss her and she leans away, shaking her head.

She looks at him and says, “You’re such a dick.” Ok, now I’m confused.

What the hell is going on?

“What Amelia would rather you not know for some reason is that she and I are dating…”

No fucking way.

I sat down on the island stool and rested my chin on my hand in shock as Harrison continued. “I mean it’s probably more embarrassing for her than me but you know I’m an open book and not one for hiding shit even at the office. Don’t like to keep secrets. If I feel like kissing her or smacking her ass at the office I don’t want you running to HR or something.” Well I think the shock on my face is mimicking Amelia’s right now. I was not expecting this, that’s for sure.

Amelia’s face flushed a bright red as she mumbled, “Sorry I didn’t tell you about that, but unlike your brother I like to keep my private life private. And no, there won’t be any PDA in the office.” She was staring daggers at Harrison. She crossed her arms while holding her wine. I figure he’s in deep shit right now.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I guess opposites really do attract.” Harrison leaned in again to kiss Amelia’s cheek and this time she didn’t lean away. They actually looked really happy and good together despite her death stare.

“When did this happen?” It had to be something new. I sat up and patiently waited for the answer. She was looking to Harrison for confirmation.

“Six months ago.” She said while looking at Harrison. What? Seriously ?

“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m that clueless? Harrison, why were you taking me out to bars trying to pick up women?” This just blows my mind.

“I wasn’t. I was trying to get you laid. Caitlin really left you in a bad way.” Caitlin is my ex fiance that the family apparently did an intervention on to get rid of for me. “Amelia was there, you just didn’t see her. You either had your face buried in your phone or you were looking for “Ms Kennedy” He threw up air quotes “who I didn’t know about yet.” He glanced quickly to Amelia. I shook my head, thinking if I had known that’s what all those nights out had been about I would’ve never gone out with him. Not saying some of the women I met weren’t worth the one night I spent with them but no one really had the potential to go the distance until Alex. Now, I’m starting to rethink that as well.

“Yep, Amelia is right, you’re a dick!” We all started laughing and I then confessed, “Listen, you two, I have to get ready for dinner. I have a date.” Amelia and Harrison both looked at each other a little worried.

Harrison grunted, “Don’t you dare come back to work tomorrow with a ‘headache’ thinking we’re going to take all your meetings for you.” I hope it doesn’t come to that either.

***

ALEX

I called Darius on my ride to the MMA studio and let him know that I’d have an interview set up for him sometime next week with Roman. I couldn’t believe I agreed to have dinner with him. I felt like he wasn’t going to give up, so I needed to get it over with. I don’t care where he decides to go, I'm not dressing up. We can go to McDonald’s for all I fucking care right now.

I needed to psyche myself up for this training, so I put on some loud high energy music, opened all the windows and the sunroof to get in the mood. I’ll make my other phone calls tomorrow.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this training, but I had a feeling Bruce was going to make sure I did. I got changed and went over to the counter where he was talking to some other attendees who were looking my way. He tossed something at me, and I caught it. It was a mouth guard still in the package, thank goodness. Glad they don’t share those like the boxing gloves, I thought as I tore it open. He looked down at my feet and instructed me not to bring my shoes as he pointed towards the cubbies.

I climbed into the ring where he was waiting for me. The mat was cool on my feet, and I could feel the thin layer of chalk that lingered from previous fighters.

He glanced down. “Seriously?” His eyebrows were raised as a bewildered expression crossed his face.

“What?” What’s wrong with my feet? I wondered. I just got a pedicure for god’s sake.

“Do you really want to do this to those feet?”

Do what? Why is he freaking me out?

“What’s going to happen to my feet?” I sat cross legged and tucked my feet under me to hide them.

“I don’t know but they may not look that good after!”

“I have a great team of people who take amazing care of my feet. So don’t you worry your pretty little head about my feet.” We both laughed as I kicked my legs out in front of me and wiggled my toes .

For the first fifteen minutes, we talked about the expectations we both had and how he wanted me to focus only on the moves and counter moves. He wanted me to remove my feelings altogether.

“You know this court hearing is in two weeks. That only gives me six days of training. It would take me a lifetime of training to control my emotions.” I leaned back on my hands and stared at the ceiling thinking about exactly the kind of emotions I was going to have when I saw Tanner in that courtroom, and how hard it was going to be to stay in control of those emotions knowing what I had in mind for him.

He laughed and countered, “Then how about having those emotions without associating them with a person. Let’s focus it again on just a move or counter move.” Sure, like I could think of anything other than Tanner. I closed my eyes with my head still aimed toward the ceiling above the ring trying to will Tanner out of my mind.

“I’m pretty sure I only have different levels of anger and frustration right now, so does that mean I’ll only know two moves?” He shook his head. Sarcasm is my defense against my anger.

“You’re going to have to stop talking if you want me to teach you anything. Now let’s get serious for a minute and just focus and mimic.”

I sat up and clapped my hands together and the chalk cloud floated between us as we got ready for the physical aspect of training.

I appreciated that he didn’t take it easy on me. It gets me out of my head. He taught me a lot of basic moves that I really had to concentrate on in order to put my full force into controlling my body. That helped with keeping emotions at bay. One cool move he taught me was a submission pose where you could literally pull someone’s arm out of their socket while rendering them unconscious. He guided me through it in slow motion first, demonstrating it on me. He had my arm up and half behind my head. I could feel the stretch of the tendons and see how this could get seriously painful. It was super uncomfortable, and I couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. I started to panic; he felt it and released me. When he directed me how to do it on someone else, he brought in one of the other fighters and let me practice in slow motion. I might have to repeat that one more often. I wonder if I can find any willing victims or unwilling-- hell, I’ll take what I can get. If things go bad with Roman tonight, I’ll make him a test subject.

I rolled out of the ring, stretching my whole body like a cat. I was sore already and pretty sure that I’d have bruises tomorrow.

It was about six when I got home. I grabbed a glass of wine on the way back to take a shower and turned on some music. I slipped on a pair of khaki linen high waist pants and a plain white tank top. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail. I leaned in close to the mirror to add some mascara and lip gloss. That will work, plus I’m too tired to do anymore.

I took another sip of wine and slipped my feet into some flip flops since bending down required more strength than I had at the moment. It was 6:45, so I poured another half glass of wine and thought about what a dumb idea this was. My phone buzzed with a new text message. It was Roman letting me know he was early. I breathed through the butterflies in my chest, threw back the rest of my wine and headed down to the valet.

The valet opened the car door for me while Roman waited in the car, staring straight ahead. He turned to me and smiled as if he was trying to hide a laugh and said, “Hi.”

Oh my, the alcohol fumes coming off him are pretty strong. I guess that’s why he didn’t get out of the car. Maybe I should be driving .

“Hi, wow, what kind of bourbon were you drinking?” I placed my purse on the floor by my feet and hooked my seat belt before looking at him.

“Why do you say that?”

“I can smell it on your breath.”

“Wanna taste?” He said with a smirk and a wink.

Oh lord. I am not going anywhere with him if he’s drunk. Definitely not letting him drive. I leaned away from him, crossing my arms and pressing my back against the door. I was having some conflicting feelings. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip thinking perhaps I did want to kiss him, and I had to admit I did miss him, but I was being serious right now.

“Do I need to drive?” I asked, tugging my arms close around me for protection.

“No, I only had one. Heaven’s Door, very smooth, you’d like it,” he said nonchalantly and sat back in his seat.

I’m sure I would like it, especially licking it off his tongue. I shook the visual away.

“Where are we headed?” I turned back in my seat to face forward. I thought I should change the subject and give us a little more focus.

“Quiet and casual. I hope that’s fine.”

He was wearing jeans that were hugging his muscular thighs, and a nice tee shirt stretched across his broad chest. It’s not helping me focus whatsoever– unless that focus is of him naked.

He pulled up to a restaurant on the river. The hostess sat us outside overlooking the water on the covered deck. Our table was away from everyone in a corner. We had a view of the river which seemed quiet tonight. It was dark so you couldn’t see the nasty color of the water– it just looked black. I had a feeling this spot was reserved just for us. Another one of his special favors, I’m sure. The server came over to take our order.

“I’ll take a Tito’s and soda with a lime, tall– double.” I hesitated then added, “Please.” I let out the breath I was holding but none of the anxiety subsided. Hopefully the vodka will help.

Roman’s eyes got big and he added to the order never taking his off of me. “I’ll have your best-selling IPA on draft, thanks.” He smiled quickly glancing at the server then back to me, as she looked between us with what seemed like concern on her face.

Oh, you should be concerned honey, this could turn nuclear.

I held the menu up in front of my face to break the connection and he groaned, “Can you put that down for a minute and look at me please?”

I moaned to myself or at least I thought I did. I put the menu down after I decided I was getting fish tacos with tater tots. I shook my head, taking a deep breath, but didn’t say anything as I crossed my arms, placing them on the menu I set down on the table.

“That’s better. I really don’t want to talk to a menu.” He looked a little upset, so I figured I’d give him the floor and see how big of a mistake this really was.

“This dinner was your idea, so you must have something to say.” I flicked my fingers toward him. I sighed and felt a sense of relief when the waitress brought our drinks. We ordered our food before he could say anything else. I took a big slurp from the straw and tried to relax.

“First, thanks for coming.”

I bit my bottom lip trying to figure out how to answer that. I didn’t really feel like I had a choice. “You’re welcome. I feel like I owe you this much, I guess.” I pushed away from the table and sat back then crossed my arms over my chest, protecting myself from any backlash, still holding my drink in one hand .

“You don’t owe me anything. I just figured you might want to. Just three weeks ago we were ‘in love’ and then you weren’t because you thought I attacked you.”

I dropped my arms as he crossed his and sat my drink on the table. All this defensiveness was getting intense. I leaned in closer, so I didn’t need to raise my voice. I didn’t want an audience. “When did I say I didn’t love you?” I whispered. That was never the problem.

“Then I just don’t fucking get it, I guess,” Roman spat. “You know I didn’t do this, and you say you love me, but you don’t want me? Please explain that, Alex.” His tone of voice was a bit above normal volume, and I looked around to make sure no one was listening. “What am I not getting here?” He threw his hands in the air.

Since when did he become so combative?

“I don’t know what the drugs did to me, Roman. It’s been especially difficult because of all this empathic shit you threw at me,” I whispered harshly, worried that this might become a crime scene. “I really don’t think I can focus on us right now or any relationship for that matter. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to figure it out. Right now, I’m focused on the court case. I’m working on controlling my emotions where that’s concerned, and I can’t do both.” I calmed down and lowered my tone. Emotion was starting to bubble up and I didn’t need that. “Bruce is helping me. Kind of like meditative fighting. I’m also planning on calling your mother tomorrow…” I hesitated to gauge his reaction. “I need to start seeing her again, if you can really keep your distance, like you said.” He was staring at me stone faced with his lips parted like he was caught off guard.

He said, “Why couldn’t you just tell me that? Why can’t I be in your life to help you through it? And what do you mean Bruce is teaching you meditative fighting? I thought you were taking self-defense classes and kickboxing? ”

“There’s so much confusion in my head. I still see you in my dreams as the one attacking me. Sometimes it's Tanner but sometimes it’s you.”

He sat up and leaned forward. Now he seemed to be really agitated, clasping his hands aggressively on the table in front of him.

“Alex, you know there’s nothing I can do about that?” He was getting more irritated with me by the second. This drink feels like it may have been a triple or else his powers are in overdrive. My insides are shaking with his aggressive energy radiating onto me.

I sighed in frustration trying to get him to calm down, “Look, I’m just worried I won’t be able to focus on this case. Bruce is teaching me MMA style fighting—private lessons.”

“You’re going to be an MMA fighter? Don’t you think that’s going a little overboard with the self-defense?”

I knew he wouldn’t understand.

“No, I don’t.” Now I was throwing my hands in the air. I was no longer being quiet myself. I crossed my legs and hit my knee on the table and almost knocked my drink over. Ouch, shit that hurt. I rubbed my knee to soothe it some.

“Alex, look I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling and if this is what you need to do then fine, but can we please talk about this? Cutting me out of your life isn’t going to change anything you’re dealing with.”

This was starting to get heated in more ways than one. It’s probably the alcohol mixed with these emotions. I seemed to be feeding off his irritation. Not good.

Thank God for the waitress interrupting– bringing our food. I chose not to answer. I was starving so we ate our food in silence because I couldn’t take any more of this conversation. I ordered one more drink, which was decidedly a bad idea. He ordered water while staring right into my soul.

Looks like I’m making bad decisions tonight .

***

ROMAN

“So, is that it? Is there no hope, no future for us?” I asked sitting back again in my chair. I finished the rest of my beer then set the empty bottle firmly on the table opting for water after this since she seemed to be self-medicating now.

“Roman, I don’t know…” she was calmer after the food and took a normal sip of her drink without guzzling it. “I can only tell you where I’m at this moment. I’m just not capable of an ‘us’. I’m not good at foreseeing the future so I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. Nothing’s changed about the way I feel. The confusion is still so prominent.” She put her hands over her face and shook her head.

I hurried the server over to pay the bill.

“I’m ready to leave, let’s go.”

She drank the last bit of her drink, and I grabbed her hand automatically, glancing at her to see if she was bothered by that but she didn’t pull away as I led her to the car. She was a little unsteady on her feet probably from the copious amounts of vodka she consumed.

“Your place or mine?” I asked. “I’m staying with you tonight regardless of who’s house we go to. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment but you’re drunk and I’m not leaving you alone tonight.”

“This is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. We’re not together anymore. Y-y-you sound c-c-crazy, like a s-s-stalker.” She threw her hands in the air and hit her knuckles on the roof.

“Ouch,” she laughed .

Ha, damn I am a stalker. That’s literally what she’s reduced me to .

If people could see the headlines now:

“HEAD OF KING CONSTRUCTION PATHETICALLY STALKS GIRL WHO CONTINUALLY TELLS HIM TO FUCK OFF!!!”

“You haven’t told me who’s place we’re going to yet. If you don’t hurry, I’m going to pick one myself.” I waited for the answer she seemed to be seriously contemplating.

“Fine, your place.” Thank God I thought as her hands fell to her thighs. I smiled because I missed her dramatics. I needed to have a little control over this situation and she seemed pretty out of control right now and I feel like it’s partially my fault.

“Alex, my feelings for you haven’t changed either, I still love you and they’ll feel like this tomorrow and the next day and every day after that.” I sincerely stated gently holding her face so she could see I meant it, hoping that would spark some memory and maybe she’d say it back.

“And I thought I had issues.” She grumbled, rolling her eyes. I didn’t have any issues until I met her, honestly.

I walked us to the elevator and pushed the button. Something in the air shifted between us. Some kind of electricity. I was ready for her to feel it too but when the doors opened, she pushed me inside and pinned me up against the glass wall. Damn she’s strong and aggressive. I, somehow, don’t think this is aimed at me and if it is I really don’t want to be on the receiving end of it.

I put my hands up trying to get some distance, letting her know I wasn’t a threat. “Alex, I need to press the elevator buttons.” She stepped back as the look on her face shifted from one of anger to one of confusion like in the restaurant. I punched in the code then cautiously stood next to her. I don’t know what kind of fighting she’s been doing, and I don’t really want her testing it out on me. Not sure what just happened there but it’s not helping with the worry I feel for her.

When the elevator doors opened, I stepped out of the way directing her in with my arm outstretched. She slowly walked in and stood with her arms wrapped around her.

“Would you like some water?” I walked to the refrigerator and took two bottles of water out, setting them on the counter.

“No, I think I just want to go to sleep.” Despite her uneasiness this is the first time in the past three weeks I’ve felt at ease knowing she’s safe with me.

“I’ll take you to the guest room. There’s an extra toothbrush in the guest bath. There are towels if you’d like to shower as well.” I guided her down the hall and showed her to the guest room.

“Thank you.” She said as I turned quickly before I made any more demands of her tonight, shutting the door behind me on my way out.

I stood next to the door to listen for just a moment noticing the light go out under the door. I took a deep breath, pushing myself from the wall and walked back out to the living room to think about what I’ve done tonight. This may not have been a good idea after all. I mean what kind of condition is she going to be in when she wakes up tomorrow in a strange place.

I made a bourbon and sat on my favorite black oversized chair with my head leaned back. My arms resting easily on the arms of the chair while holding my drink in one hand. The silence was peaceful, leaving me space to ruminate over the consequences. I couldn’t bring myself to take her home and leave her there alone in her condition. But how do I deal with this if she loses it on me in the morning?