12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

ROMAN

T hat was the fastest packing job I’ve ever seen. She was so focused and just rattling off a list of the things she needed. I caught the bag she threw as it came hurtling toward my face. Seemed like she’d done this before and it reminded me of a bank robbery scene from a movie.

I don’t know what she was thinking about when we got down to the car, but it looked serious, so I thought I’d just leave her to her thoughts. I reached over and took her hand in mine to let her know I was there for her in whatever capacity she needed.

When we pulled into the driveway, I got out to open the door for her and there it was– all those emotions bubbling to the surface. She must’ve been holding it all in, scared of this moment, right here.

My mom was already at the door when we pulled in, smiling until she got a good look at Alex. She hurried down the stairs and ushered me to the house. When I looked back, I could feel the pain from here. I could hear the loud wails as weeks of pain, suffering and loss all came flooding out. My mom was sitting on the ground holding her. I stood inside the doorway trying to breathe. I knew keeping all that in wasn’t good for her, but I had no idea how bad it was until just then.

Alex was right about one thing, I wouldn’t have been able to help her with that and I would’ve had a hard time with that kind of sorrow. I’ve never felt anything like that. If she thinks I have superpowers, I’ve got nothing compared to that.

I guess I’ll go find dad and see what’s up with him. I walked out back, and dad was there under the porch by the bar drinking scotch.

He said, “What’ll you have, son?”

“A double bourbon, neat, please.”

He looked at me with arched eyebrows and said, “That bad, huh?”

I ran my hands through my hair and said, “You have no idea.” The screen door was open to the back porch so when mom and Alex came in the front door to go to mom’s office, she was still crying so hard you could hear it out back.

“I guess I can imagine it now.” Dad said as he put a hand on my shoulder.

“Yep, it’s been one bullshit thing after another. That dude they arrested was released today on bond, and they told Alex that she needs to stay someplace safe and secure. Everyone was scrambling to make sure he’s under watchful eyes. A protection order was issued against him, and you know, it freaked her out. He’s claiming she assaulted him and now they have video of me breaking his nose and they need some of her friends and colleagues to testify. So, yeah, it’s been a fucked-up day.” Dad patted me on the back.

“Well, how about if we just sit and drink. I have nothing to add other than that poor girl doesn’t deserve this, and I hope you’re the one she’s going to stay with. I can’t think of a better person to protect her and keep her safe than you, son.” I looked at my dad and nodded but I also wondered why everyone else was so adamant I’m the one she stays with. The bourbon went down easily while we sat there and waited.

***

ALEX

I don’t even know how I got off the ground, much less into the house. I couldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t catch my breath. My chest hurt so bad from all the heaving, and I was starting to hyperventilate. Dr. King never took her arm from around me. The more she held me, though, the more I thought of my mom and the more I cried. When the sobbing and wailing quieted down she got me a glass of water and patiently waited. When the tears stopped, I wiped my face with the tissues she sat in front of me and I took in several deep breaths.

“I could literally kill him with my bare hands right now.” I was staring down at my hands. I’d never felt rage like this in my entire life. I looked up at her through a haze of red, worried I was going to scare her if I looked straight at her .

She looked me up and down, smiled and said, “I have no doubt in my mind that you could. By the looks of it, you’ve been training to do just that, am I right?”

Was I? I’m not sure, but if he came near me right now, we’d find out. She didn’t seem scared of me, so that was a bonus.

“Maybe, but probably only in my mind, you know.”

She asked, “How’s training going? What kind is it?”

I think she was trying to distract me which is exactly what I needed.

I said, “I was taking self-defense classes and a kickboxing class, then I felt like I plateaued so I decided to take private MMA fighting lessons.”

“Are you thinking about competing?”

I smiled and lightly chuckled to myself. “I’ve been asked that several times, but no, not at all. Bruce is teaching me how to use it as a sort of meditation.”

She exclaimed, “That’s wonderful.”

Not the reaction I was expecting. It helped to relax me, and I sat back on the sofa and kicked off my flip flops then crossed my feet underneath me.

“Really? I wanted to ask you if it would be a good idea to have him teach me that and talk to you. Just didn’t know if it would be counterproductive.”

“Talk to me about what Bruce is teaching you.” She was sitting back with her legs crossed and her hands clasped. She was waiting intently.

I explained how he was trying to get me to channel my emotions into moves and countermoves without directing them at a person, so when I go into the courtroom the questions and answers will relate to the moves and countermoves so I could tune Tanner out.

She smiled and admitted, “I like his style. I think you should focus on what he’s trying to teach you, and I’ll help you cope with the pain the best I can.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Finally having a path for this should help me focus on the bigger goal– making sure Tanner gets what he deserves.

“Was that the first time this all really hit you?”

Distraction over.

“Yes. I had a feeling it would happen when I came to see you. I feel safe around you. But today more happened. He got out on bail and now I feel like the prisoner.”

“Why do you feel that way?” She sat up more on the edge of the sofa now. I picked my head up and let out a breath as I stared at the ceiling.

“Because I’m the one who has to stay in a secure place. There’s a protective order against him. He can’t come within 500 feet of me and now I’m constantly going to be looking over my shoulder. My friends and coworkers got dragged into it and Roman was seen on camera breaking the guy’s nose. Tanner’s claiming I assaulted him first.” So much overwhelming information, I practically collapsed just thinking about all of it.

She smirked a little, “Is anyone testifying for you against their will?”

I get it people want to help, but I’m so mad there’s a need. “No, in fact, they seem excited to help.”

“I doubt anything major will happen to Roman for what he did. It’s not like he’ll lose his job. He may have to pay a fine, if that. Please don’t worry about him. I know he’s more than willing to testify for you and I already told you we can handle the Ellington situation.”

What is the Ellington situation, really, that needs to be handled? I feel like there’s more to it .

I tried to protest, “But…” She cut me off.

“No buts…Now you have no responsibility for what these people are planning to do for you so that’s no longer an issue. Tell me what else about this case is bothering you?” I opened my mouth and closed it again because I had nothing except the plan that I was not sharing with her.

“You know he can’t hurt you in there. You can tell the court everything that happened to you and what you went through, and he can’t do a damn thing to stop you.” She was making me feel powerful by giving me back the power he took from me. I was feeling better already.

I relaxed my shoulders and decided, “That was amazing. How did you do that?”

She and her son have those damn superpowers.

She smiled. “Alex, I have a different perspective. It’s so consuming for you and personal. All these people you want to protect, but none of that responsibility lies with you. I know it’s hard because you care so much but let them help you now. Have you decided where your safe place is?”

I looked down and back up slowly. Why was I so embarrassed to admit staying with Roman was okay?

“With Roman. My whole family backed that decision and so did my friends.” It felt forced, like I was being ganged up on. Like everyone thought I needed protection and the only one that could do it was Roman, and I couldn’t take care of myself.

She smiled and said, “I agree. Are you feeling more comfortable around him?”

Not really but I don’t want to tell her that. He’s still her son .

“I think we’ve got a weird head game going but I don’t know, it's just hard for some reason. I don’t know if anyone told you about why I was staying away from him in the first place.”

She reached out and gently patted the back of my hand that was resting on my knee. “I heard something about you thinking it was Roman who attacked you. Is that right?” I nodded without making eye contact.

“How do you feel about that now?”

“Better. My dreams are good when Roman’s in them now. Not like before. My nightmares are still so vivid of Tanner, though.”

“Try to just be good to each other. I know your mind was playing tricks on you and it doesn’t matter if I tell you that I know Roman would never hurt you. This is something you have to gain control over. Brain trauma is like any other kind of trauma, it takes time to heal. I think being around him is helping you do that. Don’t label it and don’t purposely sabotage it. You’ll both figure it out. If it works it works, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. That’s all there is in this life. If you start to feel worried about him, you can call me or you can talk to him. He will understand and so will I.” We finished talking about what was bothering me about the case and made an appointment to talk more about my mom for another day.

***

ROMAN

After that double bourbon I felt more relaxed. Dad and I didn’t talk much, we just sat there hoping things would be better when mom and Alex finally emerged. I heard the screen door slide open and glanced over to see mom and Alex smiling. Mom’s arm was around Alex’s back, very protective and motherly.

I got up and hospitably asked, “Can I get either of you a drink?”

Mom responded, but Alex wouldn’t even look at me, “Yes, could you pour us each a white wine, please, Roman?” I walked over to the bar without looking too closely at her and poured a couple of white wines then handed them their glasses. I thought they were going to join us, but they went over by the pool and sat down. I watched as they talked and laughed, genuinely having a good time. I smiled since Alex looked happy at least.

I glanced over at my dad, “Why do you think they didn’t come over here to sit?” I swung my head in that direction as I asked.

Dad smiled and said, “That’s their thing.” They have a thing?

“And what is that?” I crunched my brow together. How do I not know anything about Alex and my mom’s “relationship.”

“After they finished with Alex’s sessions, they would come out here with a glass of wine and chit chat for an hour or so.” He casually explained. Right, now I remember her telling me she would come to see Dr. King and then hang out with mom. Well, that’s great, knowing she’s bonding with my mom. Wish she would bond with me more.

“That actually clears some things up for me.” Dad and I munched on nuts and pretzels they kept on the bar while we waited for them to be done with ‘girl time’ .

They finally came back over, and mom kissed my cheek and said, “Hi honey.” Then she headed for the kitchen to get dinner ready, and dad followed to help her.

Alex sat across from me holding her almost empty glass in both hands staring into it with no expression on her face. Her eyes looked a little red and puffy–no makeup left. I wanted to wait until she was ready to look up, but instead I broke the silence and asked her if she’d like another drink. She reached the glass out to me and with what looked like a painfully forced smile–she nodded. I came back over with two glasses. I handed her one and cautiously sat next to her then put my arm around her and took a sip. She melted into my side and laid her head on my shoulder. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent that soothed my soul then kissed the top of her head. I rested my cheek on it like I used to do so often when things were less complicated. Were things ever really less complicated with her though?

Sitting in comfortable silence until mom brought dinner out felt oddly good–not an ounce of awkwardness. We didn’t bother to set a table since this was impromptu. We just ate where we were. After dinner, dad and I cleaned up then we had an after-dinner drink and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know.

“Ok, who knew about Harrison and Amelia and have you both spent time with them together?” I demanded almost in jest. I put my hands in the air looking back and forth between my parents. Alex looked up at me questioningly.

Mom said, “Yes, we knew about them, and we’ve spent time with her.”

“I suggested they not say anything because you and Amelia work so closely together. She’s a professional and clearly would’ve kept that to herself as long as it took. I’m sure Harrison ousted them.” Dad responded annoyed. I laughed and nodded my head.

“He did. She wasn’t happy about it either.” Dad shook his head knowingly.

“She’s lovely and has been a wonderful influence on Harrison,” Mom stated fondly.

“Have you all been having dinners without me?” The petulant child in me had to know .

“Very mature, son. We can have as many dinners as we want with whomever we want. We’re having dinner with you, right now, without Harrison.” I felt like I’d been scolded but I deserved it. Dad waved his hand at me dismissively.

“Point made. Now we can have everyone for family dinners, Amelia included, right?” I smiled and winked at Alex, and she sighed while looking away, but I wrapped my arm around her anyway–not letting her off the hook.

I whispered in her ear, “You can still come to dinner even if we aren’t together. I think my parents want to adopt you.” I kissed her cheek as she blushed and giggled. I would always include her.

I noticed she might have had a few more drinks than normal so I decided to instigate leaving. It was already nine and we wanted to go for a walk down by the river and swing. I don’t know if she’ll still be up for that, but it’s worth a shot. I want to keep her mind occupied for a bit then put her to bed–-she could use a good night’s rest after today.

We said our goodbyes and drove home in silence. I’m sure she needed to process what just happened to her while talking to my mom. When I pulled into my spot, I turned the car off and asked, “Do you still want to go for a walk?” She looked at me and nodded with enthusiasm.

“Ok, do you need to change your shoes or anything?”

“No, I’m good. I’m looking forward to swinging. I do have to warn you though, I’ve had a bit to drink.” She was slurring a little and giggling which was making me laugh. She hopped out of the car and threw her hands out to the side, “I’m ready.” She started skipping to the exit and I had to jog to catch up with her.

** *

ALEX

“Skipping? Really?” He groaned in what sounded like actual pain.

“Yeah, you should try it.” Then I started to skip again, and Roman yanked me back and I stumbled, smacking my face right into his broad muscular chest.

“I don’t think so. Not in these shoes.” I quickly scanned his outfit, noticing he was still in his suit and dress shoes from work. He may have been in actual pain. I frowned remembering how he didn’t get to change because he was worried about me. I looked into his eyes hesitantly, wondering if we should forget about this adventure. He smiled and gave me an encouraging nod as he tugged on my hand and warmth spread through my arm and possibly all the way to my heart. Adventure it is, I thought as I focused on the bond we seemed to be rebuilding.

When we reached the river park it was so quiet. Only a few other people were out tonight. There seemed to be lights farther down by the bars, so we had the swings and the walkway all to ourselves. We glided in silence for a few minutes. It was so peaceful. Just what I needed after all that emotional release.

Roman wrapped his arm around me, “How’re you feeling?” he asked casually. I didn’t feel any anxiety or worry behind his question, and I leaned in breathing in his calm.

“Much lighter, actually.” That was just what I needed. I looked up into his warm brown eyes and smiled.

“I was worried I was witnessing a complete mental breakdown or something. I’ve never seen anything like that before.” His comment seemed laced with worry, but it could just be he was expressing how he felt at the time, so I pushed it aside and stayed in our little bubble.

“Well, me either. I guess it was a breakdown of sorts though. Not the kind that puts you in the loony bin but the kind that gives you room to rebuild, maybe.” Rebuild my broken life , I thought as I stared out over the river. The moon light was glistening even on the murky water of the Ohio River. Silver lining, perhaps?

“So, and you don’t have to answer this, but do you think we can rebuild us?” he asked.

I can’t answer that right now. That’s part of the heavy stuff I can’t handle yet. I got lost in watching a boat drift past before I answered.

“One thing at a time, okay?” It was on my to do list for sure. He nodded and joined me looking out at the river. I wanted to enjoy the lightness and not get too heavy or into something I knew I was too tipsy to accurately convey. Plus, I was exhausted. I did feel better about him, though. I felt like he was at least separate from Tanner in my head now.

“The first thing I need to focus on is getting back to the penthouse without falling asleep.” It came out so fast I almost surprised myself. He laughed and that made me happy.

“I can just carry you home.”

Home. My thoughts went immediately to my mom and the tears welled up in my eyes. I’m pretty sure it’s the alcohol so I shook my head and jumped off the swing, walking in the direction of the penthouse, so he didn’t see my face. He hurried after me, grabbing my hand.