11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

ALEX

A s soon as the doors to the penthouse opened, I called Dr. King. She answered with a semi excited tone.

“Alex, how wonderful to hear from you.”

“Hi Dr. King.” That’s how I distinguish between personal and professional.

“This is a professional call, I’m assuming?”

“For a minute, yes, if that’s alright?”

She said, “Of course, Alex. What can I do for you?”

“Can I see you tonight? Roman’s going to bring me.” It slipped out without warning.

“Sure, did something happen?” She responded with her normal calm tone even though she sounded worried.

“Well, some things happened today and of course the past three weeks have been hard, so I just feel like I need to talk about all of it.”

“Sure, of course. How about we meet at six and then have dinner at seven. Would that work?”

Perfect.

“That would be wonderful, we’ll see you then. I’ll talk more when I get there. I’m still processing everything that’s happened today.”

After we hung up, I went and took a long hot bath with meditation music, candles, and lavender oil. I soaked until the water got cold and I was all shriveled up. When I got out, I wrapped myself in Roman’s robe hanging on the back of the door and went and laid down to take a nap. I made sure to set the timer for an hour because I felt like I could sleep until tomorrow and I still needed to get dressed.

***

I was jerked out of sleep, gasping, startled by the sound of the alarm just as the nightmare was rearing its ugly head again. It was Tanner this time trying to kill me instead of Roman. I instinctively reached for my neck to make sure there were no hands there. Well, that wasn’t restful at all.

I got out of bed to put on some clothes to go to dinner at the Kings but all I had with me was a thin navy-blue sweatshirt, jean shorts and flip flops. I could change at my house if Roman thought it was too casual for dinner with his parents.

I guess no alcohol tonight is a bust, I thought as I replayed the conversation with Detective Lewis and the DA. I’m going to have to pour a drink right now, actually. Roman should be done soon. It’s about 4:30. He’s usually off around five. I’ll just peruse through his very stocked bar and see what he’s got here. There was a very nice wine selection and some top shelf liquor. Let’s go with a shot of Grey Goose and a nice glass of Cabernet. I don’t think he’ll mind. I’m just going to sit here, drink my wine, check my emails, and call Matt and my brothers.

I organized my makeshift workstation at the kitchen island before I messaged both of my brothers. They said I could stay with them, but that Roman’s place was probably the safest. Matt’s phone went straight to voicemail. I didn’t want to call dad and make him worry. Hopefully the boys won’t tell him anything’s wrong.

I checked my emails to see if Shay got the calendar over to me yet, hoping to see availability for a meeting with Grant and Matt. Awesome, she did. She’s on it. Such a great assistant for such a shitty boss. I’m still pissed she got sucked into this nightmare. What a fucking mess. I texted Matt to let him know that he had an email, then I made a three-way call to Abby and Maggie. I needed to vent before Sunday brunch.

Abby answered, “Oh shit, what happened?”

Maggie yelled, “Who’s ass do I need to kick?”

We all laughed then I stopped and just blurted, “Tanner’s out!”

The girls were quiet.

Abby calmly stated, “I know. We weren’t allowed to say anything until you spoke with the detective and the DA. Jack’s been in court all day, so he couldn’t call you.” Of course, my friends would know. For God’s sake, they’re married to my attorneys. So why did it piss me off so much that they didn’t tell me?

Maggie was cautious with her information, “Matt went immediately to secure a protection order against him coming near you. Where are you now? Are you safe? Do you have someone with you?”

I laughed but it sounded shitty. “Wow, there’s something you don’t know?”

Abby said, “Do you know how hard it was for me not to call you? Jack probably would’ve divorced me.”

“Yeah right, I doubt that, but I can imagine that would’ve been a feat for you. I’m at Roman’s. I guess I’ll be staying here until the court shit is over. My brothers and everyone else think it’s for the best that I’m somewhere safe and secure and not alone. I’m also going to see Dr. King tonight and talk to her about some things.” I lay my head down on the marble countertop. Maybe if I bang it a few times I’ll forget all this shit and it’ll go away.

Maggie was the first to chime in. “Well, halle-fucking-lujah. I mean seriously, why the hell were you pushing him away?”

Not this bullshit again. Now I was rolling my forehead back and forth on the counter.

“Maggie, we’re not back together. I just can’t do that right now,” I grumbled.

“You know what? You can call it whatever you want. We’re just happy he’s there for you.” Abby was being her diplomatic self.

Maggie agreed, “Yeah, same.”

I screeched out of nowhere, probably trying to distract them from talking about Roman. “Luke texted me this morning.” My friends are not fans of my ex.

“Did you punch him through the phone or send him the middle finger emoji?” Maggie sounded mad .

Abby’s tone was more irritated than mine, “Oh hell no! What did that asshole want?”

“Just to say hi, he said he wanted to talk, said he figured enough time had gone by.” I laughed knowing my friends could literally bring me out of any bad mood.

Maggie and Abby said, at the same time, “And what did you say?” I heard someone yell jinx and then they both laughed.

“I just disagreed and said bye.” What else was there to say? I mean I guess I could’ve gone off on him, but he just isn’t worth it.

“And he let it go?” Abby sounded shocked. Yeah, he wasn’t one to let things go. I don’t know how he let me divorce him so easily, really.

Maggie asked, “Why haven’t you blocked him?”

“Good question. You know, I think that would be a great idea.” In fact I’ll do that right now as we speak. I scrolled through the messages and blocked him then deleted him from my contacts.

Maggie asked, “Do you and Roman want to come over for dinner on Saturday?”

“We, actually, have plans to go to Deja Vu.”

“Roman’s going clubbing?” Abby asked as she snort laughed. Sounds like we all have a good idea who Roman is and who he isn’t. He was definitely not a club guy.

“Well, we weren’t both going until he found out I was. But now I guess we’re going together.” I said sarcastically. I put my head back down on the counter.

“Were you going with Shay and the boys?” Maggie and Abby knew all my friends from work. My go-to friends for partying since Maggie and Abby had the kids and couldn’t go partying with me anymore. Plus, their husbands definitely weren't fond of my nightlife.

“Yes, but they have dinner plans, and I have training that will run into dinner so I figured I would just meet them after. Then we got the fun news Tanner was getting out so now here we are.” I refilled my glass of wine as we finished up the conversation and said goodbye.

Roman entered just as I was hanging up with the girls and he made a comment about my drinking and it really hit me, I felt so overwhelmed with everything that all of a sudden, I had no words. I started to choke up.

“Do you want to stop at your place and grab some things to have here?” I nodded silently. Thinking about staying at my dad’s without mom there was not ever going to be an option and I totally zoned out. Next thing I know I’m crushed against his chest still nodding and we’re in the elevator. Oh no, he’s still in a suit and I’m wearing this, ‘I don’t give a shit about life’ outfit. I burst out laughing.

He starts laughing too and says, “What’s so funny?”

“Me next to you.” He looked totally confused.

“I’m lost, don’t have a clue what you mean.” Of course he doesn’t. The guy isn’t phased by anything.

“It’s fine, I’ll change when we get to my place.”

He said, “What’s wrong with what you have on?”

“Seriously, look at what you’re wearing to your moms and look at what I’m wearing.” I swung my arms up and down trying to get him to notice the difference.

“First of all, my parents aren’t like that. They don’t care what you’re wearing and second, the only reason I didn’t change is because I didn’t want to let you go. Otherwise, I’d be in shorts and a tee shirt right now.”

Great, now I’m so damn needy the guy can’t even change his clothes.

“Oh, sorry about that. You should’ve told me you needed to change.”

“It’s not a big deal. Let’s just pack up your clothes and go. ”

We got up to the apartment and I put a suitcase full of clothes together. I told Roman what to grab from the bathroom and tossed him a bag to put everything in. This felt so weird.

I felt like I was twelve again and Maggie, Abby and I were packing me up to run away and go live with them after one of my mom’s drunken episodes. My dad knew I was going to be staying with Maggie’s family for a couple of weeks because he had already talked to her parents. Abby and Maggie’s parents were aware of my situation and always on standby to help out. Mom had to go to a rehab facility in North Carolina, so dad was going to stay down there with her for a couple of weeks. That was one of the scarier of her drunken episodes for me. I watched the EMT’s perform lifesaving CPR and other necessary medical procedures on her before they put her in the ambulance and took her to the hospital after she fell in the bathtub breaking most of the bones in her face. Whenever she recovered the doctors were all amazed and couldn’t believe her body could survive that kind of abuse. My brother’s and I used to joke that we were going to sell her to science and that we wanted to trade her liver for ours because hers was indestructible. I guess that wasn’t entirely true, was it?

After getting everything in the car, my mind was full of memories of my mom, good and not so good. I guess I haven’t really taken the time to process everything that’s happened. It’s not just about Tanner and what he did. My dad lost his wife. He almost lost his daughter. My brothers lost their mother too. No matter how badly she fucked up, she was a good mother when she was all there. All our friends loved coming to our house. We were always afraid the switch would flip, though. I’m pretty sure I got that neat little trait from her; it just comes out differently. Oh well, no need to think too much about it anymore, I’ll just end up driving myself nuts. However, I might be there already.

We rode in silence to his parent’s house. I mean silent as in no one spoke out loud. The voices in my head were so loud I wanted to throw myself out of the car while we were on the highway. But now the fun begins.

Alex, you need to hold it together.

I could already feel the tears threatening and the sobs and pain building up in my chest. This was not something I could compartmentalize. It was coming out whether I wanted it to or not.