Chapter 15

SATURDAY, JUNE 25, 1904

He was a fool. He hadn’t meant to hurt Ellie. He’d only said what he had to give her a sense of relief, to know that he wasn’t pursuing her. No matter how much he wanted to. And boy, did he want to. It seemed every time their paths crossed, the desire to pursue her grew stronger.

Carter closed his eyes. The look on her face last night when he’d told her that he didn’t consider her wife material ...

He’d handled the whole thing wrong. No wonder, when what he was saying didn’t match what he felt! But with Marvella’s propensity to matchmake, it seemed wise to state the obvious. No matter how much he cared for Ellie, if she continued to push God away, to blame Him for all the bad in her life, they could never marry.

He let loose with a heavy sigh. Marvella meant well. Her matching him up with Ellie proved the indomitable woman was working hard to help them get to know each other better.

“But I already know her.” He leaned back in his desk chair.

After Ellie and Mother talked that night on his parents’ porch, Mother hadn’t said much about their conversation. She’d just urged Carter to be kind and encouraging. Ellie had lost her mother at a young age, just as his mother had, and it made her most sympathetic to the struggle the younger woman faced.

Still, without God, Ellie would continue to struggle. She was searching for a way to make sense of the world. She was looking to feel the love her mother had given her—a love she believed was stolen from her.

Mark Andrews tapped on the doorframe. “Figured you might need someone to talk to.”

“Oh?” Oh good grief. Now he was defensive.

“I was only two chairs away last night. I heard your conversation with Miss Briggs.”

Carter deflated. “Sorry about that.”

For all that Mark had grown up working his father’s ranch, he was studious and loved books. Probably why he was the director of the Carnegie Library. Never one to intrude into Carter’s personal affairs, Mark was a quiet listener. And trusted friend.

He crossed over to Carter’s desk and sat in a chair opposite him. His gaze was unwavering, almost stern. “I’m just going to come out and say it. You’re not being a good friend to Eleanor.”

“What?” Just who did Mark think he was?

Mark didn’t back down. “I’ve never seen you act as haughty as you did last night. No matter if there was truth in your words, Eleanor was also correct. You’ve never faced a loss like she has. Never had to wrestle with God over a devasting disease that you can’t beat. Never had to watch a person you love die a horrible death right in front of you.” He leaned forward and rapped a knuckle on the thick desktop. “So I’m going to say it again, you’re not being a good friend to her. Especially by telling her she’s not wife material. Good grief, Carter! What were you thinking?”

That was the longest speech Carter had ever heard out of his friend. And it put him in his place. The stupidity of his behavior washed over him. He was wrong. He wasn’t a fool, he was an idiot! He palmed his face and shook his head. “To be honest ... I was probably saying it more to convince myself. Ellie Briggs attracts me like no other woman I’ve ever met.”

“And you’re worried because of where she stands with God.” Mark sat on the edge of Carter’s desk.

“Yeah.”

“You’re right to be concerned about that. When I first met Rebecca, she didn’t know the Lord. Marvella went on a mission to get her saved, but that didn’t stop us from being friends. Right now, you should be focused on friendship with Miss Briggs. But you’ve damaged whatever friendship you had with her. You hurt her too. And then you tried to beat her over the head with your faith and knowledge of the Bible?”

Wrong again. He wasn’t an idiot. He was an arrogant, fumbling idiot! “I have a lot of apologizing to do.”

Mark leaned back and smiled. “It’s a smart man who can recognize when he’s wrong, Carter. But it’s a humble man in the Lord who can own it and make amends.”

Carter nodded, his gaze locked on his folded hands. Not only did he need to make it right with Ellie, but he needed to go to Jesus. He cleared his throat and looked up at his friend. “Thank you for caring enough about me to tell me when I’m in the wrong.”

“You’ve been a voice of reason for me many times. It’s what brothers in Christ are for.” Mark stood and held his hand out over Carter’s desk. “I’ll be praying for you, friend.”

Carter stood as well and clasped his friend’s hand. “I appreciate it.”

Mark left and Carter plopped back down in his chair. He was thankful the office was quiet right now. It gave him the chance to confess his behavior to Jesus and seek His forgiveness. He also prayed the Lord would give him the opportunity to genuinely apologize for hurting her.

Mark was right. No matter how attracted he was to Ellie, he had to deal with those feelings separate from being a good friend to her. It wasn’t fair to lash out at her when he was struggling with his attraction to her. He shook his head.

What a mess he’d made.

Jack knocked on Carter’s door. “Got a minute?”

“Sure. Come on in, Jack.”

The older man came in and handed Carter a list. “We’re going to need to order these things for the mill. I took a complete inventory and checked over some of the parts that we knew were getting long in the tooth.”

Carter looked the list over and nodded. “Most of these we can get in from Minneapolis. Go ahead and order them while we still have train service.” He gave the list back to Jack.

“Will do.” He started to go. “Any word on when your pa will start bringing in the wheat?”

“Next week, I think. He said the dry weather and sunshine has done the crops good.”

“That’s great to hear.”

“I’ve been thinking we should probably do what we can to get as much flour processed as we can before they complete the line to Whitefish. I’m putting together a letter for our major buyers and sending it out today. I want to let them know what has happened and encourage them to buy extra flour for now.”

“Have you and your pa figured out what you want to do regarding shipments after that?”

“We’ve pretty much decided to talk to one of the local freighters and see if we can’t work out a deal. We’ll just need to get everything to Whitefish. If both of us go to the same freight company, they might be willing to give us a discount because the work will be consistent. We’ll offer them volume and commitment in exchange for not driving their prices so high that we have to double ours.”

Jack nodded. “I would think they’d be glad for the consistency. I’ll keep praying for you and your pa.”

“I appreciate that.” Carter paused. “Jack, can I ask you something?”

He paused. “Sure.”

“Were you and your wife both Christians when you married?”

Jack leaned back against the doorjamb and shook his head. “Not exactly. I thought because I went to church that I was saved. But I never wanted much to do with reading my Bible and praying. I didn’t really like going to church, but it was expected.” He scratched the side of his jaw. “Miriam grew stronger in her walk with God, but mine fell by the wayside.”

Carter tried to conceal his surprise. He never would have thought his business partner was resistant to God. Then again, he only had to look at his own behavior lately to see no one should be on a pedestal. He’d ignored the Lord regarding Ellie, and look where his pride landed him.

Jack continued. “Of course, by then we already had our oldest boy. I’m ashamed to say the fights we had were something terrible.” He shook his head, his expression pained. “Makes it hard to have unity and peace with someone when you don’t both honor the same things or hold to the same values.”

Carter leaned forward, resting his forearms on his desk. “How did you resolve those issues, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Don’t mind at all.” Jack smiled and made his way to his own desk. He sat down and clasped his hands behind his head. “At some point I had to be honest about my own heart. Those fights usually started over something little, but I can pretty much point it all back to the fact that I wasn’t right with the Lord. I was a hard case, Carter. I’m not proud of that.”

Wow. Jack’s honesty was humbling. And thought-provoking.

Carter drummed his fingers ... he didn’t want to wrongly judge Ellie again, but Jack’s words helped him understand some of her outbursts. She’d even said a few times she knew God existed, but she couldn’t understand Him. “How did Miriam respond to all this?”

Jack blew out a breath and sat up straight in his chair. “I thought I’d lost her a couple of times. Had she believed in divorce, I know we wouldn’t be together today. However, she was more determined to please God than me. She said if God hated divorce as the Bible said, then she wasn’t going to have anything to do with it, even if it meant she had to live in misery with me.”

Carter felt tears sting his eyes. He’d known Jack and Miriam for years. They were as deeply in love as his own parents, that was evident every time they were together. That they’d gone through such struggles and come out whole ...

That kind of faith was what he needed. When was the last time he’d truly stood for the Lord like Miriam had?

“Her determination was something I had to face every day.” Jack’s voice cut through Carter’s thoughts. “She kept teaching the boys from the Bible and taking them to church, even when I stopped going. I tell you, Carter, I was in a dark place where very little of God’s light got through.”

“What changed things?”

Jack gave a laugh. “God did. He allowed me to get injured. I was laid up for weeks. None of my so-called friends came to see me, but folks from the church did. The pastor came every couple of days.” He shook his head. “We started talking, and little by little I discovered I’d never understood what it really meant to belong to God—to be saved from hell. I thought just because I’d been raised in the church that I was all right. The pastor helped me to see the truth, and I gave my life to God.”

He let out a chuckle. “Miriam almost danced a jig. Her spirits brightened, and I swear she reminded me of when she was a girl.” His expression sobered. “I hate what I put her through, but she never gave up on me.”

Carter leaned his head back against his chair. If he pursued Ellie as a possible wife, it could be as bad as it had been for Jack and Miriam. Maybe even worse, considering Carter’s lack of patience. Especially when he felt he was right about something. He had no doubt he was right about God, but he hadn’t been right in how he’d gone about his friendship with Ellie.

“Well, I’ll go get these things ordered.” Jack straightened and started to head out of the office.

“Jack.”

The older man turned and paused.

Carter swallowed and gave his friend a smile. “Thank you for sharing your story with me. I appreciate it.”

Jack dipped his chin. “I don’t ever mind sharin’ what the good Lord has done for me, Carter. I’ll be praying for you ... and Miss Briggs.” He winked and walked out, shutting the office door behind him.

There was no getting around it. He needed to put aside his growing attraction to Ellie. For her sake, and his own.

He rubbed his face. He should have taken time to actually listen to Ellie instead of trying to shove Bible verses down her throat. Maybe then he would have seen what his mom did: a young woman wrestling with hard things and big questions.

Jesus was clearly trying to draw Ellie closer to Him, but instead of helping her, Carter had pushed and poked out of his own frustration and struggle.

Lord, this isn’t an easy one. I don’t want to do the wrong thing. I don’t want to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love You. Please guide my focus. Let me be a positive influence for You. But, Lord, please guard my heart. I’ve never felt like this about someone.

Usually, prayer left him feeling peace. But this time he almost felt worse than before he’d prayed.

Maybe it was already too late. Maybe he was already falling in love.

Lunch had just finished when Eleanor’s father announced another expedition. This one would take them back to the east side of the lands they wanted to set aside for the national park.

“We’ll take the train and then make our way from there. We won’t be gone long. When we’re done, we’ll catch the train again and return home.” Father put aside his napkin. “Should be back in time for the Fourth of July celebrations.”

Mr. Grinnell set aside his as well. “I’m glad we’re going to do this. I believe you’ll be equally impressed with the scenery and species of wildlife and vegetation. It’s majestic.”

“When do we leave?” Eleanor took out her journal and pencil.

“If you’ll excuse me.” Mr. Grinnell stood up and left them alone at the table.

Her father said nothing for a moment, and Eleanor looked up to find him wearing a pinched expression. “What’s wrong, Father?”

“Well, there are several other men going along on this trip. I think it would be best if you remained here with Mrs. Ashbury and the Judge. We talked about it last night, and Mrs. Ashbury said she would be delighted to have you stay and accompany her to her ladies’ group. She hopes to introduce you to more people.”

“You don’t want me to go?” Why did it hurt so much? Father had done many expeditions on his own when she was younger.

He took her hand. “My dear, I am anxious for this phase of my work to be over.” He cast a quick glance around the room. “It is wearying to me, and I wish to settle in and live a simpler, quieter life. But I promised George that I would help. And after the threats we received on the last trip, I think it would be best for you to stay behind. Stay safe.”

“I understand that ... it’s just ... my life has been in upheaval for a while, and there are so many things I wish to discuss with you. I haven’t told you about my restlessness and feelings of unease.” Why she’d chosen that moment to share, she wasn’t sure, but she longed for a closer relationship with him again.

He cupped her cheek with his hand. “I’ve seen it, my dear. And I apologize for not helping you through this. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been on a struggle and search for truth myself.”

She’d seen it. But hadn’t understood until he voiced it. She shouldn’t be weighing him down with her worries right now. She lifted her chin and took a deep breath. “When you get back, we’ll work it out together.”

“Sounds like a wonderful plan.” He pulled back. “Besides, I’m sure Marvella will love having you all to herself. She’ll have you introduced to the entire town by the time I return.”

It was as if the older woman had heard her name and come to see what she could do. “Greetings, all. I hope you enjoyed your lunch.” She pulled off her gloves and handed them to the maid.

Father spoke up. “I was just telling Ellie that you had invited her to remain here while we men went on our trip to the east side of the park area.”

Mrs. Ashbury looked at Eleanor and smiled. “I am beside myself with joy to have time for the two of us. My ladies’ group meets in two days for a luncheon, and I would like very much for you to speak to them about the national park plans and ideas. It would be such a nice thing to hear about it from a lady. Knowing you support your father’s and Mr. Grinnell’s ideas, I am so hopeful you’ll agree to speak.”

“Yes, Ellie. You could have a great influence over these ladies, and in turn they would influence their husbands. With enough support from everyone we will surely see the national park take top priority on the president’s agenda.”

So. The decision had already been made, and there was no use arguing against it. “I’d be happy to speak to the ladies, Marvella. Thank you for thinking that I might be able to persuade them.”

“Oh, my dear, you are talented, and I know that they will enjoy what you have to say.”

Eleanor turned back to her father. “When do you leave?”

“The day after tomorrow. George has already arranged everything.”

She smiled and carefully folded her napkin. “Well then, I should probably see to your packing. I wouldn’t want you to forget anything.”

The chair seemed unusually loud as she scooted back.

Making her way upstairs, Eleanor fought back tears. She had never been one given to crying, but of late it seemed to be all she wanted to do. It wasn’t helpful at all. Things were changing, and she had to accept that fact. Father had announced just before lunch that he would be signing papers for the Hennessy house later this afternoon. He had arranged to buy the place nearly fully furnished. There would be little for them to do but move in.

Father’s room was next door to hers. She made her way inside—noticing shirts, shoes, and luggage strewn around the room. He’d already started to pack. Why was he leaving without her? Why were people arranging her life without seeking her opinion first? Most of all, why didn’t Carter Brunswick think she was wife material just because she didn’t serve God the way he did?

Bother! Stop thinking about the man.

Well, she’d wanted to find out who she really was. It seemed she was doing so. The flat, two-dimensional, grief-laden Eleanor Briggs had been without color and life. Now...

She was feeling again. What’s more, her anger with God was diminishing. Oh, how happy that would make Mama in heaven! She had no idea what the future held, but she wanted to be valuable. Loved. To have true friendships.

The draperies in Father’s room had been pulled back, and Eleanor went to gaze out the window. It shouldn’t bother her that Carter wasn’t interested in her as a wife. She wasn’t looking for a husband. And even if she were, Carter wouldn’t be the one she’d seek.

Yes, he was kind and handsome. Very handsome. She loved it when he smiled, especially when he was teasing her. His entire face lit up and his eyes seemed to twinkle. It was like he was keeping a joke to himself. She smiled—

Stop it!

She stamped her foot. “Why am I feeling this way? It’s as if Carter is more important to me than he is. I don’t want to court him. He would be far too bossy, and he’d always be judging me. I could never be good enough for him ... or God.”

She heaved a sigh and sat down on the window seat. Life right now was just ...

Hopeless.

Over and over the past few months, her mother’s words had washed over her, reminding her of the time when she’d had faith. When she’d given her heart to Jesus.

She looked up to the sky. As much as she’d hated what Carter said at the dinner, some of it wouldn’t leave her alone. Had she done as Carter said? Put up a wall of resentment and anger to protect herself from God?

Yes ... yes, she had. And as much as she resented admitting it, Carter was right about something else, too.

Her wall hadn’t helped. In fact, now that she was being honest with herself, she had to admit ...

It had done her more harm than good.

That night a thunderstorm rumbled through. A clap of thunder woke Eleanor, not that she’d been sleeping very well. Her dreams had been riddled with confusion and torment. She’d been searching for her way through a wheat field. There were no landmarks with which she could make her bearings. She just wandered and at times ran through the wheat, desperately searching.

But for what?

Lightning flashed, and she heard the rain hit her windowpanes. Getting up, she padded across the lush bedroom rug to the window. If only there were a window seat here as there was in her father’s room. She pushed back the drapes and gazed out into the darkness. Another streak of lightning split the night skies, and for a moment, she saw her face reflected in the glass.

She looked scared and weary. Not just weary because her sleep was interrupted, but weary of an internal fight that she couldn’t seem to win. ...

Win? Who was she kidding? She couldn’t even find a moment’s respite from it.

She let the drapes fall back into place, crawled back into bed, and pulled the covers high. The room had grown chilly, and the heavy quilt was a welcome relief. Another boom of thunder sent her under the covers like a child. She shivered, then felt the quilt begin to warm her.

Maybe ... should she pray? But what could she say? She hadn’t been able to pray since Mama died. How could she pray now? Especially after she’d flung all her anger and hatred at God, blaming Him for taking Mama.

She punched down the pillow and rolled onto her side, curling into a tight ball.

She was alone. Abandoned. Just like that awful night when the doctor pronounced her mother had passed on.

Mother was gone. Father didn’t want her with him.

She turned her face into her pillow and let the tears come.

MONDAY, JUNE 27, 1904

Two days later, Eleanor bid her father good-bye, and then in the afternoon, accompanied Mrs. Ashbury to her ladies’ meeting. The women were gathered at the home of Mrs. Norris, a woman Eleanor had met at the party. Mrs. Norris, a thick-waisted matron with broad shoulders and a short stature, was clearly used to running things, especially in her own home. She had three different maids all hopping to do her bidding. A manned buffet was set up so that the women could merely point to what they wanted and have servers place the food on the women’s plates. Once this was done, the ladies took their seats in the lavish parlor and waited to attend to various orders of business.

When it came time for Eleanor to take the floor, the women were well-fed and ready to listen.

Eleanor took a deep breath to settle the nerves dancing in her stomach. Goodness, she had spoken before crowds larger than this. What need was there to worry?

She gave the women a bright smile and plunged ahead. “I’m happy to be with you today. As Mrs. Ashbury has pointed out, my father and I are in the process of settling down here. And as she also told you, my father is the well-known conservationist Stewart Briggs. He and George Grinnell have been longtime friends and are working together to make the world a better place.”

Two women seated at the front of the parlor exchanged glances, eyebrows raised.

What was that about?

Eleanor tore her gaze away from them. Best not to get distracted. “I have long admired my father’s work and after losing my mother ten years ago, I joined him in his work—primarily his mission to see public lands set aside and private land ownership decreased. By seeing the land set aside for the public, we can be assured that it will remain untouched and natural for the remainder of our lives and the lives of those to come.”

The familiar speech tumbled out of her, but it felt ... hollow. As if ...

Did she even believe what she was saying anymore?

The Brunswicks cared for the land they owned. In fact, all of the ranchers and farmers they’d met on their expedition here seemed to have that same passion about cultivating and caring for the earth’s resources and beauty.

Eleanor took a breath. Stop it! This is not the time to figure out how you feel about private and public land ownership. You are here on behalf of Father and his work.

So chastised, she brightened her smile at the ladies. “So far there are only a few national parks. In fact, there are only six, and not even a proper department in the government to oversee them. The oldest is, of course, Yellowstone. It was created in 1872 and set aside lands in what is now Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho. The others are, in order of their inception, Sequoia and Yosemite, both in California, Mt. Rainier in Washington, Crater Lake in Oregon, and Wind Cave. Wind Cave was just formed last year and is in southwest South Dakota.”

Several of the ladies turned and murmured to one another. What were they saying? Perhaps they were impressed by the growing acreage of land saved by the government.

She pressed on. Had any of her previous talks taken this long? Her cheeks were beginning to hurt with the fake smile she had pasted on her face. “We’re hopeful that a new national park will be approved to protect land not far from here. Just to the northeast of Kalispell, in fact. There are thoughts to call this new park Glacier National Park after the more than ninety small glaciers that remain in the more than one million acres of land they’d like to see set aside.”

“More than a million acres ...”

Eleanor smiled and nodded at the woman who’d murmured the comment. “Yes. One million acres and over 130 cataloged lakes, and it is thought that there are more than one thousand different species of plants and trees and one hundred different kinds of anim—”

“Is any of that land being taken from ranchers or farmers?” This from a woman wearing a hat bursting with feathers.

Eleanor blinked. She had no idea and admitted as such. “However, I will be sure to talk to Mr. George Grinnell and get back to you as soon as I have that information. Speaking of Mr. Grinnell—”

“See that you do. I’ll be checking in with you next week, Miss Briggs.” The feathers moved with each nod of the older woman’s head. “It’s imperative that the government remembers it is working for the people. Not taking from them.”

Several women murmured their approval of the woman’s sentiment. Eleanor didn’t disagree with her but wanted to finish her speech before someone else followed suit and interrupted her.

“I look forward to speaking to you again, Mrs. ..?”

“Mrs. Howard Brown.”

“Mrs. Brown.” Taking one more fortifying breath, Eleanor started again. “As I was saying, Mr. Grinnell is the architect of this latest national park.”

She related the statistics she’d heard her father share over the last few years. “As conservationists, my father and Mr. Grinnell are determined to see the land kept free from factories and building projects that would corrupt the land and bring death to the animals and vegetation that exists. Back east, there are already so many problems with the air and water. We see vast amounts of damage done to the land because of people tearing it apart to build a variety of things, as well as giving little regard to the elimination of garbage and waste.”

Mr. Hill’s Swiss-chalet hotel design floated into her mind. Wasn’t she being a little hypocritical touting conservation when he wanted to do the very thing she was saying wouldn’t happen? Maybe there was another way to appease the demanding public. His accommodations were the antithesis of what she was sharing right now.

“In ...” She shook the thought away. “In setting aside land to become a national park, we hope to see as little building and change to the land as possible. There are some who desire to have roads put in so that visitors can one day drive themselves through the park, but in our area, there is already a train route that passes through and is more than enough, in my estimation, to bring in viewers.”

Eleanor concluded by explaining that public support was imperative and asked the women to think about all the good that could be done in saving such a magnificent part of Montana for the future. She asked them, as her father had bid her to do, to encourage their husbands to speak to their politicians and to put their support, in whatever manner they could, behind the building of national parks. In particular, Glacier National Park.

Mrs. Ashbury came forward as Eleanor ended her talk and put her arm around her. “Eleanor would be happy to answer a few questions if you have any.”

One woman raised her hand and Marvella gave her a nod. The woman stood. “How can they possibly keep things natural and untouched when other parks such as you mentioned have hotels and concessions built, as well as housing for those who work for the national park? I’ve been to Yellowstone and stayed at their hotels. One was an abominable place painted bright yellow. They had bears that we fed and places for us to eat as well. I didn’t feel that they did enough to preserve it.”

Exactly what she’d pointed out—and what got her banished from the room. Still, it was good to know others felt as she did. “I can well understand. I’ve been to Yellowstone myself and thought much the same. However, with more and more people taking an interest in the park and voicing their thoughts on how things should be done to preserve the land and animals, I believe we will see better results.”

Another woman got to her feet. “How will such places pay for themselves?”

“There have been fundraisers and donations taken up for the parks. Many of our wealthiest families in America have a heart for conservation. They realize just how quickly the natural lands are disappearing.”

“Disappearing into ranches and farms?” This from a woman who looked a little less refined than the others. She was dressed fashionably enough, but her face was tanned and leathery. “My family has a ranch nearby, and we own seven thousand acres.”

Eleanor couldn’t stop her question. “And why do you need that much land for your personal use?”

The woman frowned. “I guess you don’t know much about raising cattle. You need at least an acre per cow. Two acres for cow-calf pairs. And as a conservationist you must know that you can’t run them on the same section of land for too long. We have to rotate them, move them from one pasture to another. We aren’t without our own style of conservation. No one knows better than we do about keeping the land in good order.”

Eleanor had no reply. The woman was right. She didn’t know what was needed for raising cattle or wheat. She would make sure and ask about that the next time she talked to Mr. and Mrs. Brunswick.

“It seems to me that we need both to exist to provide food for America.” Marvella’s tone was pleasant. “I’m sure our conservationist friends would agree, but this isn’t about the farms and ranches. We need support for the national park that could soon be set aside in our own area. But now, why don’t we have some more refreshments. Mrs. Norris has arranged for the desserts to be set out.”

Thank heaven for Marvella. This was one time Eleanor welcomed her taking over.

Sir Theophilus appeared from wherever he’d been and came to Eleanor. Jumping up against her skirt, he looked at her with an expression that suggested he understood her frustration. She picked him up and buried her face against his for just a moment.

At least someone understood her.