Chapter 62

Sixty-Two

WESLEY

M y heart beat slowly, the potion yanking me into the shadows multiple times until I wasn’t certain I could climb out again. But Finn’s desperation settled into my soul, our bond fragile and stretching into the darkness as I blinked open my eyes to a shimmering barrier dome surrounding me. Light illuminated the space overhead, blazing bright, but gentle and warm.

I reached up and my hand hit the barrier, snapping and fizzling with magic to keep me in. Outside the barrier the darkness pooled in an oppressive swirling ooze, wavering shadows dancing inches from the end of the ray of light, as though waiting for it to fade and the magic shield to break. The world beyond the light, nothing but a void of inky darkness, as if nothing remained of the Autumn realm but where I lay protected by some delicate energy.

Finn?

Our tie surged for a half second, his mind grasping for mine, then he’d vanish in a wave of madness for a few seconds, images flashing through our bond of all his terrible memories. I turned onto my side, unable to sit up in the small space, and stared in the direction I thought he might be, though the overwhelming blackness curled in on every side.

Honey? Could he hear me at all?

Wesley…

His voice was weak and distant, pain lacing the words, and I caught a thousand underlying whispers that sounded like him, only not. Worthless. Unworthy. Useless. Monster.

Was that the darkness? Was Finn already gone—lost and twisted by his monster until there was nothing of his delicate heart that remained?

It’s okay, honey. I thought, hoping he heard me. Time curled around me, and I half dozed until I caught a glimpse of something moving in the dark, creeping its way toward the light. Was it Finn?

The thing was massive, a beast draped in darkness, its form twisting and warping as it struggled to maintain its shape. My stomach knotted as I recognized the dragon-like beast that Finn had become, dripping with ooze, shifting into something gaunt and bat-like, then back to the wolf. The more it touched the light, the more it howled. But I couldn’t look away. This was still Finn—somewhere inside that monstrous form was the man I loved.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, some time had passed and the beast had vanished into the swirling shadows again. Finn?

Our bond stretched thin and near the point of snapping. The beast drained my strength despite the strong barrier around me. I glared up into the light like it was some link to beyond, angry that the fates hadn’t chosen a stronger mate for Finn.

Love, don’t go. I begged, staring at the fading movement of darkness.

The beast reappeared; glowing eyes fixed on me. It recoiled from the light as though the brightness was too much to bear. Finn’s broken thoughts left me with a handful of words, self- deprecation, and sadness. He blamed himself for not being strong enough and letting the dark rule. But there was so much brightness inside him, hidden in layers of protective magic as though he feared letting any of it free would cause him more pain.

It’s only as dark as you let it be . I told him, trying to give him glimpses of happy moments in his past. His mortal life had been filled with them, and the entire reason the wolf had split them. The wolf knew to save them both, he’d have to give them something to cling to.

I tried to stir memories of his moms and his friends, what little I knew of them so far, but our link faltered.

Please, help me. His whisper nearly lost in the rage of the beast.

If I couldn’t share bright memories, I’d have to become one. I’m right here, waiting for you.

Tired.

I got the impression that he thought he needed to save me, and it made me mad. I’m no damsel to be saved, Finn. You saw what I could become.

You are so fucking beautiful.

Then why are you hiding in the dark? The beast crept forward and then roared, smoke rising from its skin, but beneath, as the ooze blistered away, was mortal flesh. Finn inside, fighting for freedom. I understood, though I hated it. He sank into the dark and used the beast as a shield.

Why are you letting the past keep us apart?

Wesley.

Yes, honey. I’m right here.

I fell under again for a while. My heart slowing, the drain competing with the fire in my veins and I realized it was the burn of the potion, trying to keep me asleep, but far too strong for the mortal half of me. Could I coax Finn into the light before there was nothing left for him to find? Toby said there would be a sacrifice for love, and if it meant my life, that was okay. I want to love you, I thought faintly.

I’m not perfect.

I snorted and rolled over, my strength fading as I said. No kidding.

Time vanished again. I blinked my eyes open, too weak to do much more than breathe. He lingered in the edge of the light, so close and yet too far away. I tried to reach for him, but my hand fell, strength waning from the constant drain, the spell keeping me under and killing me all at once. My hand dropped like a stone, lying to the side of where I rested, and I longed for him to reach me. If only he could hold me one last time. His sweet kisses meant more than anything I’d ever experienced in my life.

Okay to love you?

The whisper was so faint, I thought I’d misheard, but he crept forward, skin writhing and burning, healing and sizzling, only to repeat the cycle with every advance he took. The pain had to be excruciating. Tears dripped down my cheeks as I struggled to breathe, offering him every ounce of my quickly waning strength.

Yes. Love. I love you, too. Come to me, please. Let me hold you. Could he hear me?

Please. Finn reached for me, his amber eyes glowing bright, though the beast slid its dark ooze over him to pull him back again. The darkness peeled away from its body, but he fought his way forward. Dragged two inches back, only to crawl another foot forward, reaching for me.

Waiting for you. My eyes closed again, heart slowing as if I bled more than power. Perhaps the beast needed my life force to survive as well as my magic. I would have hoped to give Finn more. More time, more love, maybe something to cling to, but all I could do was pray that he’d find his way out of the dark and lean on those among the living, like Oberon, who had been his best friend for centuries, and Sebastian, who was the child of his heart.

The beast snarled, the entire sanctuary shaking from the roar, which turned from a monstrous scream to Finn’s human voice, crying and calling for me. I couldn’t open my eyes, and my lungs fought for each breath. Maybe it was a dumb idea to have taken all of that potion to keep Summer from yanking me out of Autumn’s grasp.

A soft snout nuzzled the tips of my fingers, followed by a wet tongue licking them carefully. I cracked a single eyelid to find the wolf, still half covered in dark ooze, rubbing his head on my hand which lay in the most faded edge of the light, just beyond the shield.

“Love you,” I whispered, unable to pet him, or reach for the man I loved. My breath vanished and I slipped into the dark, painless, floating, with only a lingering sense of sadness etched through my soul that I couldn’t hold him one last time.