Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

brENDON

I feel like I'm floating as I lean against the couch with my softening cock still in my hand. The mixture of the high from the weed and the fantastic orgasm I just had is otherworldly. And it hasn't passed me by that one of the most intense orgasms of my life happened while watching gay porn while sitting next to my best friend.

I guess this confirms that I'm not as straight as I once thought.

Carter has talked a lot about discovering his bisexuality this summer over the past week and the things he learned about the fluidity of sexuality. To say that he had the wheels in my brain turning would be an understatement. I have experienced more than a few things that he was talking about, which confused me more than I care to admit, but I didn't really want to think too much about it at the time. The conversations we had weren't meant to be about me, so I kept my internal thoughts to myself and let my friend tell me everything he was feeling.

I ended up doing a lot of research on my own after we went to our own rooms and began questioning so many things. Similar to Carter, I grew up only surrounded by straight relationships until I got to college. I was asked which girl I was crushing on at school, never which person . And even now that I have a lot of gay friends, I don't think I have a single friend, besides Carter now, that has told me they're bisexual. Since I do like girls, I just automatically thought that made me straight.

Looking back on growing up through a new lens, things definitely seem to make more sense if I consider myself bisexual. I'm pretty sure I've had a crush on a guy or two, but since I thought I was straight, I just assumed I really liked them as friends.

Take Carter, for example. I think I started crushing on him when I was about ten. I've always hated it when he had a girlfriend, but I figured it was simply because he was spending less time with me. I didn't realize that it was actually jealousy.

And even though he kept his focus solely on the television while jerking off, I was watching him the entire time. Taking in the small glimmer of gorgeous copper skin that was on display as he stroked his perfect uncut cock. Enamored by the obscene amount of precum he produced and the panting moans he made as his fist glided over the deeper chestnut shade of his engorged and glistening crown.

My mouth literally watered as I watched him and I was desperate to touch him, to taste him. But just because he's bisexual doesn't mean he's attracted to me, and I didn't want to put our friendship in jeopardy. It was already a big risk doing what we did. And for the life of me, I'm not sure why I did it.

I could blame it on the weed making me horny, which is partially true. It definitely lowered my inhibitions and was why I suggested watching porn in the first place. But choosing a gay one was all me. I wanted to see how Carter would react to it. I wanted to see if he would get as turned on as I was.

I was anxious at first that I made the wrong decision when Carter tensed up at the suggestion and completely froze when I pulled out my cock, but for some reason, I didn't stop. I could have royally fucked up everything I cherish the most, but I just continued to go with the flow.

Thankfully I was able to calm him down and convince him this wasn't a big deal, even though it was to me. Once he leaned back and pulled out his perfect dick, I damn near let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to go clean up," Carter murmurs, pulling me out of my haze, and I nod.

"Let me know when you're done," I reply, wishing we had more than one bathroom right about now.

He dips his chin before heading down the hall, and I grab the remote to shut the porn off. There's really no point in continuing to watch it since I've already came. But once the room is silent, panic starts to creep its way, tightening my chest and making it hard to catch my breath.

What the fuck did I just do?

My heart races so fast I'm afraid it's about to beat its way out of my chest.

What if this changes everything between us and I lose my best friend?

I can't lose Carter. He's my everything. My ride or die. My other half.

I might not have realized I was crushing on him until just the other day, but that doesn't change the fact that he's always been one of the most important people in my life.

Fuck! At this point, I wish I never would have figured out that I was bisexual. At least then, I could have continued to believe I just had an overly attached friendship with him. But now that I know the truth, everything has changed for me. I just don't think it's changed for Carter.

Maybe I can just pretend like nothing has changed.

As far as my best friend is concerned, the movie and the weed made me horny and think about porn and nothing more.

"Dude, put your cock away. The jerk-off session is over," Carter says, pulling me from my downward spiral. I turn to look at him, shoving my dick into my sweats at the same time.

His eyes lock with mine and I swear I see a hint of something new behind those alluring chestnut brown orbs, but maybe I'm just projecting. As we silently stare at each other, I take a moment to really study his face. Have I ever realized just how fucking handsome he is before? Sure, I knew he was an attractive dude, but he's absolutely breathtaking. Short jet black hair that's always styled perfectly, rich brown skin without a single blemish, eyes that suck you in if you let them, and thick, plump lips that would look perfect wrapped around my cock.

We stare at each other for way longer than anyone would consider normal before he blinks and shakes his head like he just came out of a daze.

"The bathroom is all yours. I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning," he mutters. Before I have time to respond, he's already gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.

The way Carter stared at me was different from how he'd looked at me in the past. There was something new there; I just don't know what it is.

A small part of me is hopeful that it was attraction, and maybe he's also figuring out that his feelings aren't purely friendship based. But a larger part of me fears that the look was different because he hates what we just did. I have no idea what I'm going to do if it's the latter.