Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

P atience's boots crunched in the dry grass as she made her way through the warm sunshine toward Jonah's new cabin, a basket of food tucked under her arm. She couldn't get Lillian's story out of her mind—how noble and selfless Jonah had been to offer marriage to Naomi, to provide a home for her and little Mary Ellen. The thought made Patience's heart flutter in a way that was becoming all too familiar when it came to the brooding, kindhearted cowboy.

Then when Eric had shown up, he and Naomi had reconciled, and Jonah had gallantly stepped back and let the three form the family they were clearly meant to be. The fact that Eric had searched so hard for Naomi was remarkable in itself.

As Patience neared the cabin, doubts crept in, casting shadows over her hopeful mood. Jonah had acted strangely last night and this morning. Was he avoiding her because he still carried a torch for Naomi? The idea sent a pang through her chest. She couldn't blame him if he did—Naomi was lovely inside and out.

Then there was the matter of that tender moment Patience and he had shared last week. Heat rose in her cheeks at the memory of Jonah's intense gaze, his gentle touch on her hand as he'd confessed his desire to kiss her.

But she valued Jonah's friendship too much to let a little embarrassment sour the openness between them. She'd never had a friend she could trust so completely to be on her side. Jonah was the real thing. A man of integrity. She'd seen enough of the other kind to know this when she spotted it. And his actions toward Naomi only confirmed that fact.

She would simply explain to him that Lillian had told her the whole story, and that her respect for him had only grown. She wouldn't hold him to his words said in a heated moment. Their friendship was too precious to let anything mar it.

Resolve strengthened, Patience approached the cabin. He wasn't working out front, and there was no door mounted yet, so she peered into the dark interior. Empty. She called out loudly enough for him to hear if he was behind the structure. "Jonah?"

"In the back." His voice was muffled, clearly coming through at least one solid wall.

She stepped back outside and turned to go around the left side. When she rounded the rear corner, Jonah was there, sleeves rolled up, brown curls tumbling over his brow as he worked. At the sight of her, he set his bucket on the ground and brushed his hands together, an unreadable expression flitting across his face.

"I brought you some lunch." Patience kept her voice bright as she held up the basket. "Thought you might be hungry after all this work."

He wiped a forearm across his brow, leaving a dark gray mark where the sweat had been. "That's kind of you, but I brought some food with me this morning."

She tilted her head and bit back a smile. She'd seen what he stuffed into his pockets. "A biscuit and an apple hardly count as a proper meal for a grown man putting in a hard day's work. I have sliced ham, fresh bread baked this morning with strawberry jam, and those cinnamon crisps you seemed to enjoy so much last night."

Jonah's eyes lit as she lifted the napkin, revealing the tempting spread. "Well, I guess I could do with a bit of fortification. Thank you." He took the basket but didn't pull anything out, just stood there, like he was waiting for her to leave.

She motioned to a log lying nearby. "Sit and dig in."

He obeyed, and she settled in beside him, the rough bark pressing through her skirts. How to start? He'd lifted aside the cloth covering and was staring at the food as though his mind were elsewhere. She needed to get this out so they could both have peace.

She cleared her throat. "I wanted to…well, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jonah looked at her, a guardedness in his posture and a tightness around his eyes that made her nerves jangle.

She clasped her hands in her lap, her fingers twining together. "Lillian told me the story last night. About you and Naomi. And what you offered to do for her and little Mary Ellen."

Jonah swallowed hard, his expression shuttering. "Did she now."

"I just wanted you to know that your actions, they were the mark of a truly honorable man. It took a strength of character, a selflessness, to make such an offer. And then, when Eric returned, to step back and let them be a family." She shook her head, at a loss for words to describe the admiration welling inside her.

Jonah was silent, his gaze fixed forward, forest blocking the horizon.

She soldiered on, the words tumbling out in a rush. "What I'm trying to say is, I understand if your heart still rests with Naomi. And I don't want you to feel beholden to…to anything that might have passed between us. Your friendship is important to me, and I'll be moving on soon anyway."

The silence stretched tight. Then Jonah turned to face her, his blue eyes intense. "It doesn't bother you that Naomi rejected me?"

She gaped at him. "Are you joking? I can't believe she let you go. What woman wouldn't leap at the chance to…" She broke off, heat flooding her cheeks at what she'd nearly said.

Jonah was still staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Slowly, deliberately, he set aside the basket. "Patsy…"

The way he said her name—the nickname she'd always hated. The one she'd determined never to allow when she came west—made heat sweep through her. She'd be happy to hear him say it anytime.

His eyes locked on hers with an intensity that made her chest tighten. "Your friendship is important to me too. You are important to me."

When his gaze dropped to her lips, she couldn't breathe. The air between them thickened with a delicious tension. She couldn't look away from those piercing blue eyes, the determination in them sending a shiver down her spine.

When he leaned in, everything around her blurred. Her head went light, maybe because she'd stopped breathing. And when his warm, callused fingers cupped her jaw, her eyelids fluttered closed. That was why she had no warning before his lips brushed hers, sending a jolt through her that made her lean closer and pour herself into his kiss.

And oh, what a kiss.

She melted into him. Her hands curling in the fabric of his shirt, she anchored herself against the tide of sensation.

His tongue traced the seam of her lips, and she parted for him on a sigh, letting him taste her as she'd longed for him to do.

He explored her mouth with exquisite thoroughness, stoking the embers of desire into flames that licked along her nerve endings. When he pulled back—too soon—the haze he'd brought over her made it impossible to speak more than his name. "Jonah." How could she put words to the riot of emotions swirling inside her?

He brushed his thumb along her cheekbone, the touch unbearably gentle. When he spoke, his voice was low and rough with emotion. "Patsy, I'm not pining for Naomi. It's you I want. Your friendship, yes. But more than that." His tenor dipped lower. "I want a chance to court you properly. To show you the kind of man I can be."

Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes. No one had ever wanted to court her, to cherish her, to prove himself worthy of her. All her life, she'd fought and scraped for survival, building walls around her heart. Yet with a few earnest words, Jonah had her defenses crumbling.

But she couldn't lose her focus.

She'd wanted to clear the air with Jonah, but she still had to leave. She had plans, a lifelong dream that was finally within reach. She would be independent, her and Anna, and not have to worry about how she would feed or protect herself. Nor would she be under the control of another man. They'd have their own little cottage, just like in the painting. And she wouldn't have to rely on anyone.

She straightened, pulling back to put space between them. How to say this without wrecking this friendship she truly wanted to protect? It might not withstand the blow she was about to give it.

"Jonah." She worked for a smile. "You're such an admirable man. I'm honored beyond words that you would ask." That sounded trite, so insignificant in the face of that kiss they'd just shared.

She swallowed the burn that crept to her eyes. "I can't stay here though. I have plans. I…" What a slap in the fa ce to tell him her dream was more important than he was. But was there any other way to say it? She needed to be clear about her answer, lest he hold onto false hope. "I've had this dream for as long as I remember. To buy property in Indiana. There's a certain place. And a house."

He'd already slipped that shutter back over his eyes, and his arms had lowered to rest on his thighs. He picked at a blade of grass, and the way he didn't meet her gaze made her chest ache.

"If I didn't have this all worked out, Jonah, I would say yes. In a heartbeat." Would he question why she wasn't asking him to think about coming along? She had no good answer to that question. Only that this was something she had to do herself. Besides, his family was here. He'd built a cabin here with his own two hands. His entire life was here.

It would be unfair of her to pull him away.

He lifted his focus from the grass in his hands to stare ahead, toward the cabin wall. "I understand." She couldn't tell by the tone of his voice whether he really did or not.

She touched his arm to help him feel the weight of her next words. Beneath the fabric of his shirt, his muscle went stiff. Like a tree trunk. The man was more solid than the logs he'd felled for this house.

She forced her mind back on what she'd been about to say. "I'm sorry, Jonah. And I really meant what I said before. Your friendship is important to me. More so than…" Her voice quivered, and she paused.

He turned to her then, his mouth curving into a smile that almost met his eyes. "It's all right, Patsy. Our friendship is safe. I'm here for you. Anytime."

His words struck her with a new thought. He was here for her .

Was this friendship as one-sided as that sounded? Did she ever do things to help him, simply for his good, with no other motive ?

She'd have to think about that. For now, though, she nodded. "Anything I can do for you, just let me know."

She faced his cabin, forcing cheerfulness into her voice. "Like chinking. Can I work while you eat?"

He reached for the basket. "Naw. I don't have much left. You'll be missing time with Anna too. Go on back and ask her to show you the meadow of flowers. She'll like to get outside a while."

Patience was being dismissed, but he was right. She should use this time to strengthen her bond with her niece. After all, they should be moving on soon.

Maybe, while they walked to the meadow, she could talk to Anna about when they could leave. Even as she started back to the main house, she had to fight the burn of tears that came with the thought of leaving Jonah Coulter for good.