Chapter 30

30

DIANNA

D ianna had invited Tristan and Mathew over to her family's home for Christmas Day celebrations. All her sisters had adored Mathew, and he was spoiled by their attention. It only took a few hours for him to warm up to them, which had surprised both Dianna and Tristan.

The week between Christmas and New Year's Eve, she spent nearly every waking moment with them. The funny thing was that the more time she was in their company, the more it simply felt right.

All her fears and concerns had managed to disappear. She couldn't figure out why exactly, but she was definitely more relaxed about everything. Occasionally, she berated herself for the silly reasons she'd had when she broke up with him in the first place. While she would never admit that she was one-hundred-percent wrong, she could see now that her overreactions hadn't been necessary.

The funny thing was that her new outlook seemed to help her work with Mathew even more successfully. While he worked on one of his drawings, she sat beside him with her own paper and pencil, sketching out his studious features. He hadn't noticed who she was drawing yet as he kept his focus zeroed in on his own paper.

The cabin was quiet but cozy. A roaring, crackling flame danced in the fireplace. Snow had started falling about an hour ago. This was shaping up to be a wonderful New Year's Eve, and she couldn't wait for tonight when she could ring in the new year in Tristan's arms.

Mathew glanced up and his eyes zeroed in on her picture. His eyes widened and bounced up to meet hers. "Is that me?"

"Sure is, kiddo."

"Do I get to keep it?"

She laughed. "If you'd like to."

He nodded vigorously. "I want to hang it up in my room."

Dianna continued sketching. "I think that's a wonderful idea."

They were silent for a few more minutes. Tristan had gone outside to find more firewood so they were completely alone. Mathew shifted in his seat and put his pencil down. "Are you going to marry my dad?"

She froze. Besides Tristan's long speech the other week regarding how much he cared about her, they hadn't really discussed the future all that much. She could assume that was where this relationship was going, but that could turn into a grave mistake. It was best to sit back and let nature take its course.

But this was Mathew she was talking to. He wasn't known for his patience.

Dianna didn't meet his eyes as she used her thumb to smudge a part of his hair. "I don't know." It was an honest answer, and it shouldn't have caused her any grief whatsoever. And yet it did. The pain was only a twinge. And it wouldn't do her any good to linger on it. Besides, after what she put Tristan through, she couldn't expect him to throw caution to the wind and ask her to marry him. He probably thought she'd turn him down and leave him high and dry just like his ex had done. It didn't matter if she'd never shown signs of such betrayal. Tristan was allowed to err on the side of caution. But that didn't stop her from hoping one day he would ask her to be his for the rest of their lives.

"Why not?"

She was yanked from her thoughts with such force she had to recall what Mathew had asked of her. It took a little longer than she expected, and he frowned at her while he waited.

Right. He wanted to know why she didn't know if they would get married.

"I'm not sure if your dad is ready to move to the next step of our relationship."

"He is." Mathew's statement was so quick and ready, that she had to wonder what they'd talked about when she wasn't around. "Do you want to get married?"

She bit back a smile. "Boy, you're chock full of questions today, aren't you?"

He shrugged. "I just thought it'd be nice if I got what I wanted for Christmas."

Dianna knew she would regret it the second the words escaped her throat. "And what's that? What did you want for Christmas that you haven't received yet? From what I remember, you got plenty of presents."

"Yeah…" he drawled, "but I didn't get what I wanted most."

"Which is…" she prompted with exaggeration.

"A new mom."

Just like that, her whole body flashed with hot and cold sparks. Her extremities went numb and her heart pounded erratically. "And you want me to be that for you?"

Mathew looked her dead in the eyes. "Don't you want to be my mom?"

A bark of laughter was the only sound she could muster. "What?"

He shrugged and turned his attention back to his picture. "I like you. You like me. And my dad likes you. Why wouldn't you want to be my mom?"

She leaned closer to him. "Buddy, it's not as easy as all that. Both people need to want to get married first."

"My dad does. I think he wants to ask you, but he's scared."

Dianna nearly choked on her beverage. Before she could say another word, the door opened and Tristan wandered in, dusting himself off from the firewood he'd gathered. He flashed them a smile from the doorway, and she returned it.

Tristan wanted to ask her to marry him. When he'd brought it up on Christmas Eve, she hadn't believed him. In fact, she'd thought he was just saying that to make her feel good. But the thrill that coursed through her veins at Mathew's confession was enough to set everything inside her on fire. If he were to come over to the table and ask her at this moment, she already knew the answer.

That was how her brain worked. When she knew she wanted something, she was all in.

And looking around the cabin at Mathew and Tristan only solidified those feelings. This could be her life, and it was one that she wanted.

But if Tristan was too nervous to do anything about it, she might just have to do something about it all by herself.

Dianna and Tristan each held one of Mathew's hands in theirs as they wandered toward the country club. They promised Mathew that he could stay up until the ball dropped if he took a nap.

When that kid wanted something, he made sure to make it happen.

She grinned down at him, loving that they shared so much in common. It was as if God himself had sent Tristan and Mathew into her life because he knew how much they all needed one another. They fit like the pieces of a puzzle.

Feeling a pair of eyes on her, Dianna glanced up to find Tristan smiling. She laughed. "What?"

"I love you," Tristan said.

Mathew craned his head around, his focus bouncing from his father to Dianna. "Aren't you gonna tell him?"

Dianna's insides froze and she met Tristan's curious gaze with a fresh wave of nerves. She hadn't told Mathew she had made special plans for the night. How did he know?

"Miss Dianna ." He sighed. "Aren't you going to tell my dad you love him too? That's how it goes, right? You have to communicate ."

Both Tristan and Dianna laughed, the tension in her body broken. "You're right, bud. That's exactly how it goes." She leaned over him and puckered her lips. "I love you," she murmured just before Tristan brushed his lips against hers.

Mathew beamed. "I knew it."

"Knew what?" Tristan chuckled.

"You'll see."

Before they could pin him down and get him to explain himself, they arrived at the country club and he disappeared inside. Tristan faced her, his hands clasping her tightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." It got easier and easier to say those words. She almost couldn't remember what it was like before she'd found her sense of equilibrium.

"There's something I want to talk to you about before I move out in two weeks."

She tilted her head. Maybe she wouldn't have to do anything after all. Tristan could take the reins and she could enjoy the ride.

"I want your opinion on something."

Confusion marred her features. "Okay."

"I'm writing a book."

Her eyes widened. "You are?"

He nodded and laughed. "Don't sound so surprised. It's nothing special—just a lot about our lives with Mathew and the things we've done to make his life and ours easier. I thought that it would be a good jumping-off point for your future—perhaps a future we might share."

Dianna's mouth went dry. This was a very strange way to go about a proposal. She felt like she'd been hit up against the side of the head with one tidbit of information only to be slapped on the other with more of the same and yet a different topic.

"You are absolutely incredible with Mathew. So much so, that I thought you might be interested in teaching others how to do what you do. I'd love for you to collaborate on my book and maybe start a training program to help inform the public about what it means to be on the spectrum."

Every word he said was like liquid gold. She'd never thought about doing such a thing, and now she hated herself for not coming to the idea on her own.

"But if you don't want to—" he started.

She clutched his hands almost too tightly. He grimaced, and she relaxed her hold on him. "I think that's an amazing idea. I'd be honored to be part of it with you."

A smile split Tristan's face and he pulled her in for a long, warm hug. When he pulled back, he still wore that grin. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hope you know that."

She lifted a shoulder. "I think I've been told that before." More specifically, by him. She jerked her chin toward the entrance. "Come on. Let's join the festivities before it gets too late and all we have left is the countdown."

He wagged his brows. "Maybe that's all that I need from tonight."

She blushed. He had no idea what she was up to. Boy, would he be surprised.

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, more and more people seemed to materialize. The whole club was filled with not only locals but people from nearby cities. Dianna even overheard a conversation about a guy who was just passing through and thought he'd stop by to see what the party was all about.

Shane's business reputation and what he had created here was already bringing people to their small town. It was exciting, thrilling, and even a little terrifying. New people meant her circle would be expanding.

Tristan put his hand in hers and squeezed.

Dianna looked down at where their fingers intertwined and her thundering heart shifted gears from anxiety to something far more palatable. She glanced up, finding his warm gaze on her. She leaned into him, resting her cheek against his shoulder.

If anyone had told her that when she met him, this was how her life would be a few short months later, she would have called them crazy. Change was a bitter pill to swallow, and she'd perfected the way she lived her life in such a way that prevented much of that from occurring.

Yes, she taught Mathew that change was important. It was one of those better-said-than-done situations. And now she realized she'd only done herself a disservice by hiding behind her drawings and her books.

Tristan released her hand and wrapped his arm around her before pressing a kiss to her temple.

This just felt… right .

The New Year would be welcomed with open arms in less than five minutes.

Her skipping heart rate danced to the beat of the music, and with each passing second, it seemed to do its own countdown.

Five, it took a thundering step forward.

Four, there was no room for hesitation now.

Three, she'd found so much more happiness than she could have ever dreamed possible.

Two, it was now or never.

One.

Dianna faced Tristan and held both of his hands in hers. His focus was on the television screen playing the recording of New York Times Square when his gaze flitted down to meet hers. He gave her a confused and yet curious smile.

Dianna tilted her head. "Hey."

"Hey," he murmured.

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

That got his attention. She saw it in the way his gaze flitted around the room. He shifted his weight and it almost looked like he was trying to find an escape. She tightened her hold on him and tugged him closer to her.

"Don't worry, it's nothing bad."

The crease between his brows deepened and his eyes made it clear he was recalling the last time they had a one-on-one talk. The one where she broke up with him. Tristan let out a strained laugh. "I wanted to talk to you about something, too. But maybe you should go first."

She hesitated. Had Mathew assumed wrong? What if Tristan wasn't interested in taking another step forward in their relationship? They were here with all their friends, and she could very well make a total fool of herself.

Her stomach knotted uncomfortably and her palms grew clammy.

No.

She wasn't going to allow her fears to talk her out of this one. She'd planned on laying it all out on the table so he was aware of where she stood.

"Alright, folks, the countdown begins in one minute!" A voice called over the crowded room. Cheers erupted, but it was almost like they were somewhere else, surrounded by lightly falling glittering snow.

The sounds around them were muted and all she could hear were the irregular beats of her heart and her breathing.

In and out.

She could do this.

"Tristan, I?—"

"I love you," he interrupted.

Dianna chuckled. "Yeah, I know."

"And I meant what I said. I will wait as long as it takes."

"It's fine, Tristan. I have no intention of changing what we have." Well, that wasn't entirely true. She let out a soft laugh. "Actually, I am, but not in the way you might be thinking."

"Before you say anything—" Tristan dropped her hands and patted his coat pocket, then froze and looked at her. His hands dropped and he took ahold of hers. "Actually, you can go first."

She nibbled on her lower lip. This was harder than she had thought it would be. He was going to think she was crazy. She just knew it. Typically, guys were the ones who—she shoved the thought aside. They lived in a modern era. Who said she couldn't?

The crowd around them shouted. "Ten!"

"Tristan, I love you more than I thought possible." Her voice shook slightly, and Tristan tightened his hold on her.

"Nine!"

"And I love Mathew, too." She prayed she'd be able to help him see what he meant to her, but right now words seemed like an insurmountable obstacle.

"Eight!"

"I thought I wanted predictability."

"Seven!"

"But you've made me see I can have so much more." Boy, she probably sounded like a loon.

"Six!"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is…"

"Five!"

"…I don't want to live a single day…"

"Four!"

"…without you in it." She met his steady gaze with one of her own and a burst of courage propelled her forward.

"Three!"

"I want to marry you, Tristan."

"Two!"

He didn't even hesitate for a second. "Yes!"

"One!"

She gaped at him. The crowd around them went wild; streamers flew in the air as if in slow motion. He swept her into his arms and pressed a firm, claiming kiss to her lips. Wait a minute. Were they engaged?

Her legs went numb, but that was completely fine as he managed to hold her up. Her whole body vibrated with joy and electricity. Both of her hands landed on his shoulders and she kissed him back, giving everything she had to offer. And he was accepting it with every ounce of his being. They had become one, connected by something far greater than themselves.

"I knew it." Mathew's accusatory voice yanked them from the euphoria they found themselves in.

Tristan pulled back, but he continued to hold her close to his chest. They both looked down at Mathew staring up at them with a wide grin plastered on his face. Dianna bit back a laugh and dipped her face closer to Tristan's shoulder.

Mathew looked from one to the other as if he were completely unaware of the celebrating going on around him. "Does this mean you're going to be my mom?"

Chills ripped through her body and she looked up at Tristan for a moment before returning her gaze to Mathew. "If that's what you want."

"I knew it," he repeated. "I just knew I was going to get a mom for Christmas."

Tristan laughed. "It's not Christmas anymore, kiddo."

Mathew shrugged. "It's a late Christmas present, then."

Dianna and Tristan pulled apart just enough to allow them to crouch down. Mathew didn't need an invitation. He launched himself into their arms.

So this was what complete felt like.