Chapter 25

25

TRISTAN

T ristan paced on the porch. None of this made sense. It was true, Dianna had told him that she wasn't interested in a relationship when he first arrived, but everything after that had made it clear she was just as ready as he was. He couldn't wrap his head around what had gone wrong, and he wasn't going to leave until he did.

How could he go home to Mathew and tell him that everything was about to change… again ? They'd picked up and come across the states to do Mathew's therapy, and he'd even had a few discussions about staying. Mathew seemed thrilled with the idea. He loved Dianna.

What had happened?

He stopped and knocked on the door again. She knew he was there. It wasn't like she escaped out the back door to avoid speaking to him. Normally, he wouldn't even bother. But already he felt like he was drowning, knowing that when the sun rose, his life would forever be changed.

Was it possible he'd read too much into what was developing between them?

No, he refused to believe that for even one second.

She'd been the first to kiss him.

She'd been the one to ask him if she could stay.

Irritation quickly infiltrated and poisoned the ache in his chest. Was she toying with him?

Losing all control, his thoughts shifted to Erika and how she'd disappeared when things got difficult. He hadn't thought that Dianna was capable of such duplicity. These darker feelings continued to spiral out of control with each flashback to his past relationship.

Tristan lifted his hand to knock once more when the door opened, revealing one of Dianna's sisters. He only knew Brielle by name. This one was younger than Dianna so that narrowed down what her name might be.

He glanced around her, shifting so he could get a better look inside the darkened front room. There were voices coming from the back of the house, presumably where the rest of the family was. Dianna's sister stepped out of the house and onto the porch. She closed the door quietly and leaned against it, her arms folded. "You must be Tristan."

His jaw tightened. "What letter of the alphabet are you?"

One corner of her mouth twitched upward. "G."

G. He couldn't remember what her name was. It could be Georgia, Genevieve or Gabrielle. But none of that mattered. He needed to speak to one person and her name didn't start with that letter. "I need to speak to Dianna."

"It's Grace."

He frowned. "What?"

"My name."

Tristan shook his head. "I need to talk to Dianna."

Grace glanced over her shoulder, then rubbed her chin before bringing her eyes to meet his. "Yeeeah. I don't think she's going to come down. She's got to be the most stubborn out of all of us."

That couldn't be true. Not with all the stories she'd told of her sisters. Dianna seemed like she fit into her family just fine. He cleared his throat. "I really need to talk to her about something important."

"She broke up with you."

He stiffened. "Boy, news travels fast."

She cocked her head to the side slightly and her lips spread into a wider smile. "If you're wondering… no. She didn't just come in and announce it to the world. I just happened to be in her way when she made her escape."

Escape . That word scraped against him like sandpaper, rubbing his already sensitive heart raw. Just like when she said she felt cornered or trapped… she didn't want to be in a relationship with him.

The heat and tight air in his chest deflated and his shoulders slumped. It wasn't hard to immediately start second-guessing everything he knew about this relationship. He took a few steps back and leaned against the porch railing. "Is that what she said she was doing?"

"What?"

"Escaping from me."

Grace snorted. "No. But she flew into the house like she was running from something terrifying."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Does it?"

"No."

She shrugged. "Sorry."

Tristan shoved both hands into his hair and spun around to face the dark yard. "What did she say?"

"I don't think I'm allowed to tell you that."

He huffed. The misery he currently drowned in would probably be better than hearing whatever Dianna had told her sister anyway.

"But I'll tell you what I know."

His whole body froze. Her shuffled footsteps wandered across the frozen wood planks of the porch and she rested her elbows on the porch railing, not looking up at him. "Out of all my sisters, I know Dianna better than the oldest ones, but not as well as I know the ones around my age. Keep that in mind when I tell you what I'm going to say next."

Tristan peeked at her. Her brows were furrowed and she wore a frown that mirrored his own.

"Dianna keeps to herself. Comfort. That's what I get from her."

"What does that mean?"

Grace lifted one shoulder and shot a look in his direction. "Dianna thrives when things are the same. She doesn't like change—which is why I think we were all surprised when she decided to start working for Shane. She just doesn't do stuff like that."

"I fail to see how that has anything to do with our relationship."

Her frown deepened. "Don't you have a kid who deals with similar stuff?"

"What? Hating change? We all hate change. Kids are just worse at dealing with it."

One brow lifted and she let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "That's where you're wrong. My dad was terrible at accepting when my mom died. Then he was in complete denial as each one of us started maturing. I'm sure Dianna told you about his rule when it came to marriage."

He nodded, shifting his focus away from Dianna's sister. "She mentioned it. She also said that he changed his rule recently."

"Yup."

Tristan let out a heavy sigh. "With all due respect, I'm in the middle of trying to pick up the broken pieces of my heart. You'll understand if I don't have patience for your cryptic storytelling."

She let out a laugh. "Is that what you think this is?" Turning to face him, she leaned one elbow on the rail and set a stern gaze on him. "Dianna is very particular. She likes her things just so. When something big changes, it throws her off balance, and it can take her weeks or months to get through it. While that's happening, you have to understand that she needs her space to examine everything from every angle. Does any of that sound familiar?"

Confusion must have been plain on his face.

Grace let out an exaggerated groan. "She's probably more like your son than she is like you. She functions a little differently than you or I do."

Realization dawned on him.

She let out a sigh that sounded almost like relief. "See? Dianna will immerse herself in things so much that she will get in her own way because she can't focus on anything else. If she thinks it's a bad idea to date you for whatever reason, she's not going to suddenly change her mind. It can be a good thing, but in this case, it's bad. I'm sure you've noticed that she's almost obsessively passionate about certain things too. She's dedicated, and whatever she's good at, she turns it into something she can excel at."

"But she doesn't act like someone who's on the spectrum."

"That's just it. There is literally no single way to describe someone on the spectrum. They have different strengths and weaknesses than even other people who have the same diagnosis. Contrary to popular belief, some autistics are more social but have a harder time with change or emotional regulation. Some don't speak at all. There was this article I read once that even said people with autism experience deeper emotions depending what facet of their personality is affected. With Dianna, she'll probably come around. You just don't know when that will be."

Her words had the strangest effect on him. While he really wanted to hold onto his anger and frustration, he couldn't. Dianna was different. Wasn't that one of the reasons he liked her so much? More and more realizations fell into place, and he looked at Dianna's sister once again. "You sure seem to know a lot about her—about what it's like to be on the spectrum."

She sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I had a friend in high school. He shared a lot of the same tendencies as Dianna. I don't know if she's even realized it herself. She probably just feels like she's different."

"You haven't talked to her about it?"

Shaking her head, she looked away from him out into the yard.

"Why not?"

"I guess I didn't want to put her on the spot. I don't see her as being different. I didn't want to make her feel like she didn't fit in. I'd never want to alienate any of my sisters. And to be honest, I don't see it as a disorder. I see it as a unique way of thinking. Of being human." She rubbed her arms and shivered.

Tristan jumped and immediately removed his coat, placing it on her shoulders. "You shouldn't be out here in the cold."

Grace attempted to argue with him and refuse the coat, but he wasn't having any of it. They stood in silence for a few moments and he let the cold seep into his skin. It was like he was waking up—becoming more alert in regard to his current predicament.

"Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship."

He felt her eyes on him. Shoot. Had he actually said that out loud? Heat crawled up his neck despite the chilled air that whispered against his skin.

Tristan let out a strangled laugh. "How much do you know about my family?"

She shook her head. "Why would I know anything about your family?"

His embarrassment continued to worsen. "I just figured…" He sighed. "Never mind. My wife left me soon after we found out my son was on the spectrum. I thought…" He let out a sad laugh. "When I met Dianna, I thought maybe I had found someone I could be with—someone I could trust."

"You can trust Dianna." Grace's voice lowered, sounding almost upset. "She'd never do anything to hurt you."

She already had, but he wasn't about to bring that up. Somehow he felt like he was part to blame for all of this. Dianna was trustworthy; she just might not be meant for him. That realization hurt more than the actual breakup.

He pushed past her statement and continued. "I think I was so focused on what I wanted that I didn't see what she needed." His whisper was barely audible. The weight that rested on him felt even heavier. Everything was coming into a sharper focus, but he still wanted her. Nothing would be able to change his mind about that. Dianna was special. The only question that remained was whether he could actually step back and give her the space Grace had mentioned.

Tristan took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "What do you think I should do?"

Grace snorted. "You can't seriously be asking me that right now."

"Why not? I think we know one another well enough. You haven't exactly held anything back up until this point anyway. Besides, I could really use the advice. This is the first time in a long while I have actually been in the dating pool, and we saw how well that went." He made a face. He'd really botched things up this time. "I still want her in my life, as strange as that sounds."

"It doesn't sound too strange to me." Grace reached out and touched his arm. "I think it's sweet. I hope one day I'll find someone who is as crazy about me as you are about Dianna. She's lucky she has you." She grimaced. "Even if she doesn't realize it yet."

"So you're saying I still have a chance?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. I haven't ever been able to predict the things she does. Her logic isn't anything like mine."

That didn't exactly instill any of the confidence he'd hoped it would. "Then it's the opposite. I don't have a shot at getting her back."

"I didn't say that either, and you know it. Geez, will you stop being so fatalistic? If you want her back, use what you have and take advantage of what you know. You've been working with her and your son for the last several weeks. There has to be something you can pull out of that magician's hat to help you out. In my opinion, nothing is ever lost for good. Dianna just needs to be reminded about that."

Tristan shook his head. "You didn't hear her. She basically said that I had suffocated her. I made her feel like she was being pushed into a corner."

"Then don't do that." She made it sound so simple. Like he knew what he'd been doing since the very beginning. Before he could point it out, she interrupted him. "Think before you speak. Really listen to her. Make her fall even more in love with you than she already is, and she'll come back to you on her own terms." She nudged him with her elbow. "It's not like you aren't going to be seeing a lot of her. She's still working for Shane out at the country club. Give her some space and see what comes of it."

She shrugged out of his coat and held it out to him. "Just do me one favor."

"What's that?"

"Don't tell her we had this chat. Something tells me she wouldn't be too thrilled about it."

He nodded. "Deal."

Grace headed for the door then paused, her hand on the knob. She glanced back at him. "Whatever you do, don't give up. It might sound silly, but the best things are worth waiting for. Worst case scenario—you go on a few dates with someone else while you wait." She disappeared inside before he had a chance to thank her. Somehow Grace had been the one to talk him off a ledge, and he didn't even know her that well. Her little speech was probably even better than anything Shane might have said to him. Could he do it? Could he stand back and watch Dianna work with Mathew without doing anything to further compromise his relationship with her? The better question was whether he could go on a date with someone else and not be thinking of Dianna for the entire evening.

That thought was laughable.

But maybe that was his only option. While he was willing to wait for her, he couldn't put his life on hold. She'd already broken up with him. There was only one way to go from here.

And that was up.