Chapter 12

12

W hen Travis came back to the table, he was serious and quiet, the baby still tucked in his arm and thankfully still sleeping. Ellen wasn't sure he knew what to do with a crying baby, and she was pretty sure that Travis wasn't going to want to learn in front of Shanna.

Both of Shanna's kids were fussy and tired, and Shanna didn't have a whole lot of patience with them.

Ellen felt bad for the children and did as much as she could to help, but knew the three of them all needed a good night's sleep.

Finally, Shanna packed up and said she was leaving, but instead of heading to her car, she walked toward the community center, like she didn't want to leave the fellowship of the town.

Ellen felt a little bad for her. She was an extrovert, who needed interaction with people in order to charge her batteries, and it must be very hard to have to even spend one day at home alone with two small children. Shanna worked outside the home, she had since before the divorce, and so she got to see people on a regular basis, but Ellen figured that two little kids weren't exactly her idea of ideal company.

Of course, Ellen had been sitting at the picnic table with her, so obviously Ellen wasn't Shanna's idea of ideal company either.

But Ellen tried not to think about that too hard. After all, she wasn't exactly anyone's ideal company.

"Roger says it isn't his," Travis finally said after they'd sat in silence for a while, him staring down at the baby, as though he were thinking hard.

No wonder he was thinking hard.

"Roger denied it?" Ellen asked, unbelieving.

"He pointed out that he changed. I know he has, but when she said that it was his, it was easy to believe, because of his past reputation."

"Yeah. I guess he has changed. He… He really isn't the kind of person to have a baby he didn't know about anymore. I…feel a little bad that I was so willing to believe the worst of him immediately." She paused, not wanting to say something insulting. "Did he say that there really wasn't any possible way?"

How else did she ask if he had sex with anyone before he left the country? It was a little awkward, but that was really what she was trying to get out.

"Yeah. He said it had been years. Probably since he truly started to live for the Lord."

"Wow. Okay. So… It's not like we can just give the baby back."

"No. I'm just sitting here thinking I have no idea how to handle a baby. What to do, how to take care of her, anything."

"I have a little bit more experience, because of my brother and sister, but it's a big responsibility. And I know there were multiple times I was happy that it was not me in charge. Particularly when they were sick. But when they were that age, they were up a lot at night."

"Yeah. I don't know how I can take care of a baby and continue to work. Although… I really didn't come back here to continue my business things, I have a few loose ends to wrap up, but I had planned to buy a ranch."

He'd talked about his plans with her, so that wasn't a shock, but the baby was going to throw a wrench into everything.

"Do you think she might have gotten Roger and Edgar mixed up?" She hated to ask about Travis's other brother. The woman had had another man's baby. Surely she knew the name of that man.

"I didn't ask. But…it's not like they look a lot alike, and Edgar, while he's had his moments, wasn't like Roger."

Ellen nodded and didn't say anything else. Edgar hadn't been involved with drugs or alcohol, and while he'd had a couple of girlfriends, he wasn't known as being promiscuous.

"She said she left some instructions in the bag," Ellen remembered suddenly, reaching under the picnic table where she'd moved the bag so it was out of the way.

"I'd forgotten. Totally forgotten about the bag. I don't even know what to do, but I know I'll need a car seat at least. It's too late to get one tonight, plus, I can hardly drive to the store with no car seat. What would I do, hold her in my lap?"

"I can text Claudia. She's in charge of the missionary closet at church. I'm sure there's a car seat in there we can use."

Ellen had already pulled her phone out and sent a quick text off to Claudia. The missionary closet held all kinds of donations the people from the church had either bought and donated or donated after they were done with them, things their children had outgrown, clothing for the most part, but there were always car seats and high chairs and that type of thing. Often missionaries didn't take those things, because most people already had a car seat and also a lot of those items were too bulky for them to haul around the country while they were on deputation.

So they had a tendency to languish in the closet. Which was actually a rather large storage room. Not a closet.

"You can tell her I'll return it soon as I'm able to get one for myself."

"This is what it's for. People in need. This baby isn't yours."

"It might be best for everyone involved if I say that she is." He took a breath, then continued, "I feel like she is. She was given to me. That makes her mine. Right?"

Ellen froze, looking up at him. She hadn't considered that. She didn't know what she was thinking, but when she heard that the baby wasn't Roger's, she assumed that…Travis wouldn't be keeping her. She had actually thought Travis wouldn't keep her any longer than it would take to get Roger here and get him to claim ownership of the baby.

It sounded like Travis was thinking about keeping her forever.

She supposed that was the right thing to do.

"Are you afraid that woman was actually in trouble? Is that why you're saying it's best for everyone to think that it's just yours?"

"Yeah. She seemed scared. And if she claimed that it was Roger's, and Roger says there's no way that it could be his, she lied. I guess because of the way she seemed petrified, not even giving us her name, and leaving immediately, even though I thought it was obvious that she loved the baby, I just thought that rather than needing money, like I thought first, that she was afraid for its life for some reason."

"Yeah. I thought at first she wanted money too, but if that were true, surely she would just say it was your brother's baby and you need to give her a certain amount. She could have said one million dollars, and that wouldn't have been out of the realm of possibility."

"Exactly. She could ask for a lot of money. Enough to set her up for life. But she didn't ask for a cent."

"No. That's a good point." Ellen felt a chill go down her backbone. What could possibly make this woman so afraid that she would give up her baby in order to protect her?

She knew that drugs could do scary things to people. And there was a whole world out there that she really didn't know anything about. She'd never been involved in drugs in any way, thankfully. Her world had revolved around cattle and dogs and the farm, and none of that was particularly scary, although it was dangerous at times.

But dangerous in a straightforward way. Not dangerous in a drug lord out to get you for some addiction that you can't control kind of way.

To her mind anyway, it was a much bigger danger.

"I'm a little scared. To be honest. I've heard really terrible things about drug lords and what those people will do in order to get money."

"Yeah. It can be pretty nasty."

She didn't ask how Travis knew, but she assumed that in South America he'd seen more than a little bit of that.

She started digging through the bag, trying to put drugs and killers and thugs who might be lurking around any dark corner out of her mind. If she started thinking about that, she'd be afraid to take one step in the dark.

"Here's a piece of paper," she said, pulling it out and turning it toward the streetlight so she could see the writing on it. "It looks like instructions."

"Good. Hopefully they're very detailed." He paused. "It makes me a little nervous that she was able to fit all the instructions for the care of a human child on one sheet of paper."

"One side of one sheet of paper," Ellen corrected him after she flipped the paper over and saw there was no writing on the back.

"Is there a phone number I can call?"

She skimmed down the page. "No. No phone number. No email address, and…no name."

"Man. I know you're probably right to be afraid about the whole drug thugs, but…this scares me worse."

"The responsibility of having a human life all on your shoulders?" Ellen said, understanding how chilling it could feel to be the one responsible for keeping the small one alive.

"Yeah. That's exactly right."

"Well, the instructions are about how much she eats, when to feed her, and her favorite songs."

"That's it?"

Ellen skimmed over the paper again. "Yes. That's it."

"All right. That doesn't leave me with much."

She fingered through the bag. "There are diapers. Not a lot, and a baby goes through a lot. I would say there are enough diapers for two or maybe three days."

"All right. I can make it to the store in the next two or three days, if I have a car seat."

As he spoke, her phone buzzed.

She picked it up and read the text.

Sure. The closet isn't locked, so go help yourself.

She barely had finished reading a text when another one came in.

Not to be nosy, but are you pregnant?

She laughed a little, and Travis said, "What's so funny?"

"Claudia wants to know if I'm pregnant."

"No. That's me."

They laughed together. Knowing that in some circles, that idea might not be quite as funny as it was to them.

"All right. Thanks a lot for talking me through this. I thought that the time that I spent away had helped me become a more confident person able to handle whatever life throws at them. I was not expecting life to throw me a baby."

"I think that was the Lord who tossed you this child, and I don't think it was an accident," Ellen said.

Now that she had a little time to process, she could remember that everything that happened to a person in their life came through the Lord. Obviously, this was just one more thing that God had given, and he picked the perfect man to do it. She couldn't imagine a better father than Travis.

"She's going to need a mom," Travis murmured softly. "Or I'm going to need a nanny, at least."

She held her breath. Then she thought she was being silly. If he wanted her to be the mom or the nanny, he would ask her. He wouldn't just throw a sentence like that out there.

"Well, you hired me for the week. I can help you with that, along with everything else. I can get the car seat, I can even make a diaper run, and I assume you're going to run out of formula, too, although it says she only eats four ounces at a time right now."

"I suppose that's four ounces every two hours?"

"Ashley fed her babies every two to three hours, but she nursed them. I've always heard that bottle-fed babies can go a little longer. But I suppose it depends on the baby. Right now, she's pretty soundly asleep."

"I keep touching her to make sure she's breathing. It looks like she's sleeping, but when she's not moving like that, she could be dead."

"I remember Tadgh and Ashley getting up in the middle of the night and sometimes during the day just to go over and stand by the crib and make sure their baby was breathing. I think that's a natural human instinct any time you're around a baby and you have any ounce of compassion at all."

"Well, that's a relief. I have compassion. And more than an ounce. It wasn't exactly something I had been dying to find out today, but it's still news."

She laughed and then realized she'd never answered Claudia.

No. I'm seriously asking for a friend.

"Are you really going to let everyone think this is your baby?" she asked, knowing that that was probably the best way, especially if the mother needed to be protected, but knowing that it wasn't really fair to Travis, considering that it wasn't true, and it would change the way people thought about him.

"I think that's best." He didn't sound overly happy about it, but he did sound determined. His voice matched the jutting out of his chin and the way he nodded his head decisively.

Her phone buzzed.

What friend?

"If you're going to tell anyone, Claudia wants to know what friend I'm asking about the missionary closet for."

"I guess now is as good a time as any. Although, people might remember that when I walked in, I wasn't holding anything. They might wonder where the baby was then, and there will be some awkward questions. Do you think you can put it off until tomorrow?"

They were just winging it, and she didn't blame him for not wanting to face any questions this evening.

"Yeah. Definitely. I'll just tell her I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. I have to get up early and do the aquatics instruction at the Olympic training center, but after that, I can help you all day and meet with Claudia too."

"All right. I guess that means I'm on my own for tonight."

She bit her lip. She would like to help him. But if he was going to do this, claim the baby as his own, she wasn't sure what kind of rumors would swirl around both of them if she was there beside him. Everyone knew she wasn't pregnant, but they just came out of a long, brutal winter. She could have worn bulky clothes and hidden the pregnancy. It had been done before.

"Yeah. I guess you are."

"Stop that," he said, indicating where she had her lip between her teeth. "I wasn't trying to pressure you into anything. Nothing more than helping me find someone who can be a mother…wife."

He said that a little oddly, but she couldn't figure out exactly what he was trying to say, so she nodded. "Yes. I will be there tomorrow, after I'm done teaching aquatics, and I'll help you with whatever you need. Getting diapers and formula for the baby, finding a wife. Easy-peasy."

She hated the way her stomach boiled and twisted. It wasn't quite the same as seeing him with Shanna. Shanna was a different feeling entirely. Mostly because Shanna had used him in high school and didn't care about anyone but herself.

That's what she told herself, anyway. Mostly she just wished that she could take the offer back. But she could hardly do that since she was stuck with him for the week, because he saved her from Chalmer and bought her himself.

She wanted to shake her head and complain about small towns and their idiosyncrasies, the crazy things they did in order to earn money to put in parks and fix up sidewalks.

At least her labor was going to a good cause. Sweet Water was very frugal, and the money would be put to good use. Now she just had to serve her time with a good attitude.

She never thought she'd have to try to force herself to want to be in Travis's company, but the idea of finding a wife for him, one who wasn't her, anyway, while she had to spend the entire week with him was almost enough to make her beg off.

But she wasn't in the habit of not keeping her word. And she didn't want that to become something that was easy for her. Doing it even one time just felt like a slippery slope.

She typed back a reply to Claudia, letting her know that she would meet her tomorrow and talk to her about it then.

Claudia was fine with it and sent back an Okay, looking forward to it.

"I guess I should head to the church and see what I can find for you."

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Are you going to come along?"

"I'm a little afraid to be alone right now. I feel very needy," he said with a short laugh.

"All right. Come on. We'll get you a car seat. We can handle this. People have been raising humans since God created Adam and Eve. If they can do it, we can do it, too."

She realized that she said "we," instead of "you," but she didn't correct herself. For now, it was her helping him. He didn't want her to be anything more than a friend, and she wasn't going to throw a big fit about it. She had decided when she was a teenager that she was going to be the very best friend to him that she could be, and nothing was going to change in that area. Friends didn't drop each other just because one of them did something the other didn't like or that hurt their feelings. She didn't want to be that kind of friend anyway. That wasn't her best.

And it wasn't the kind of friend Travis deserved. He deserved a friend who stuck by him no matter what. Of course, once he had a wife, she'd need to back away. After all, a wife wasn't going to want Travis to have another woman as his best friend. No way. But until then, Ellen could help him in every way she could. That is what a good friend did.