Chapter 11

11

" H ey, Travis." Roger's voice was casual and easy on the other end of the line. Travis knew the time zones as well as someone who had lived in Brazil would, and he also knew that they were heading into fall, or the rainy season where Roger was. "You've only been gone a week. Surely you're not thinking that you need to check up on me already?"

He was feeling jet lagged. The traveling was exhausting, and he'd made it worse by pushing as hard as he could to get home to Ellen. He had really wanted to buy her bucket and catch up with her. Tonight had not gone as planned. That was for sure, he thought as he looked down at the little baby snuggled in his arms. For now, it was fine, since the baby seemed to be sleeping, but what was he going to do when she woke up? He had no clue how to take care of a baby.

Not to mention, how was he going to work and take care of an infant at the same time?

Surely he would be able to figure out some answers to his questions, but the first thing he needed to do was deal with his brother.

"You didn't tell me you had a baby," he said.

There was silence on the phone.

"Maybe that's because I didn't know I did," Roger said, enunciating each word clearly. Speaking slowly as though he were thinking.

It irritated Travis that he might have to try to figure out who he'd been sleeping with who could possibly be pregnant. He knew that that was the way the world worked, but he'd hoped that his brothers would be different. Maybe his expectations were too high. Not everybody did what he did, fell in love when he was a teenager, figured out exactly who he wanted, and then never even looked at anyone else.

Yeah, faithfulness wasn't exactly something that the world valued anymore. It definitely wasn't something that was on display in too many lives. He couldn't get mad at his brother just because he didn't have the virtue that Travis thought he should.

"I'm holding your baby right now," Travis said.

"Travis. I know that I don't have the best reputation, and I honestly had to think back, but it's been years. And that's no joke."

"That's funny. Since we're not elephants."

He didn't mean that in a funny way, but Roger laughed a bit anyway.

"Travis. I promise you. If I had a baby, I wouldn't be lying about it. And I probably wouldn't be content to be in Brazil. I know my reputation wasn't that great, maybe it still isn't, but you can't deny that over the last few years, I've been trying hard to change." Roger's voice held a pleading note that Travis tried to ignore. He didn't want to let his brother off the hook from his responsibilities.

Although, as he thought about it, Roger had a lot of faults, but lying hadn't been one of them. He'd been very straightforward about not wanting to do what was right. And he never minded that Travis knew that.

Had he started lying? Travis knew that sometimes people would do a lot of twisting around to save their reputation, to make people think better of them than what they were, to hide inconvenient truths. Like a baby.

"If it were possible for me to have a baby, I would tell you. What does the woman look like?"

She was pretty distinctive.

"You tell me."

Roger blew out a breath. It wasn't hard to hear his frustration through the telephone, even though he didn't say anything. Then finally, he said, "You know I have a weakness for blondes. In fact, I don't think I've ever had a girlfriend who wasn't a blonde. But I promise you, I can't say I'm lily white, that I've never committed fornication, but it's been years. That's the truth."

Travis looked down at the baby. Could the woman have been lying? Roger sounded so sincere. He had no reason to lie. Did he? Other than maybe not wanting to come home. Maybe he was afraid Travis would insist.

"I'll take care of it. I'm not telling you that you need to come back to the states."

"If I thought for one second it was my baby, I'd be begging you to let me come back."

Trying to think back on the girlfriends that Roger had brought home, Travis was sure he hadn't seen the mom, and he was sure there had been quite a few. For a long time, Travis thought Roger was going to go the way of their parents. Promiscuous, helped along with lots of drugs and alcohol. Unable to keep a job and uncaring about the people around them.

Thankfully, Roger had found the Lord. Travis always thought that mostly was thanks to Ellen, but he wasn't sure. Maybe there was someone else. But he didn't really question the why or the how, he just saw the results. Roger's life had changed. That had been about two and a half or three years ago.

"What did she say her name was?"

"The girl or the baby?" Travis asked before he realized that he didn't know the girl's name.

"The girl. I have no clue about the baby."

Roger's tone was dismissive. And it made it feel like Travis was being ridiculous for even asking. Like it was a given that he wouldn't know the baby's name. The fact that Roger didn't have a clue about that was absolutely clear.

"She didn't tell me her name. She had double piercings in her nose, a couple rings in the tops of her ears, and a bunch of tattoos. Solid tattoos on her arms."

"I never really cared for girls with tattoos." Roger let out a humorless laugh. "Not that there wasn't a time when I wasn't picky."

"Yeah."

Travis didn't say anything else. He wasn't going to rub Roger's past in his face, but he couldn't pretend that it didn't exist either. It was part of him, just like every person's past was a part of them. God forgave the sin, He promised to remember it no more, but that didn't mean that the consequences weren't there. Consequences sometimes lasted a lifetime.

"Travis. Just tell me. If you want me to come home, I will. If you want me to take a paternity test, I'll gladly do that too. I'm telling you, the kid isn't mine. But if it needs someone to take care of them, I can come home and do it if that's what you're going to insist on."

"I'm not going to insist you take care of a child that's not yours. I just… I didn't think to question the woman when she said it was."

"I know I should get mad about that, but I understand. I feel like I've changed. Like I've proven that I have. I'm nothing like the man I used to be, but I get that it might be harder for you to understand or see."

"No. I believe in you. I know you've changed, not because of you, but because of Jesus."

"Amen."

"When she came up to me, I didn't think about all of that, and I just believed it, because that's kind of what I was conditioned to do for a long time."

"Because of me. I can't expect you to totally forget what I used to be. Even if I feel like it's completely passed."

"All right. So you're sure this baby isn't yours?"

"I'm sure."

Now what?

"What are you gonna do?" Roger asked, and although the situation was serious, and their conversation had not been less so, there was humor in Roger's voice, as though he were just now realizing that Travis was in quite a predicament. Since he didn't know the name of the mother and he was holding a baby that someone was going to have to take care of.

"I'm not sure. I…never had this kind of situation dropped in my lap before."

"You're the only person I know who would call a baby a situation."

"Well, it is."

"So is there anything else you wanted? Or were you just going to make me assume my parental responsibilities, mistakenly."

"No, that was it. And you don't have to rub it in."

"I guess I think it's kind of funny. Maybe next time, you have a little more faith in me before you just take a baby from any woman who wants to give you one."

"Shut up, bro." Travis rolled his eyes. He was going to be hearing about this for a long time. "See if you can get that paternity test figured out."

"Now you shut up."

"You want me to believe you. Prove it." Travis was ninety-nine percent sure that Roger wasn't the father, but if Roger was going to give him a hard time, he could push the paternity test. Just to push back on Roger. Although, when it came up that Roger wasn't the father, Roger would never let him live it down.

"So how do you go about getting a paternity test?"

"I've had no reason to ever research the question. In any way."

"There is a very small circle of people where you can actually say that and it sounds like bragging."

"The circle might be bigger than you think it is. And it's got the most important Being in the world in it, so yeah. Call it bragging if you want."

Roger laughed without humor, knowing that Travis was rubbing it in just a bit.

"All right. I'll call you some other time when I'm not panicking."

"My big brother, panicking. You know, this sounds like a job for Ellen." Roger laughed and then slid his phone off, leaving Travis standing with a dead phone to his ear.

Actually, Roger might be onto something. This did sound like a good job for Ellen.