35. Benji

A dolf Shitler was mine. Maybe he was the one person I needed to kill to feel better. Mom and Dad were alive, but were they okay? The Coalition’d had them for a very long time. None of us would have gone through any of this if it weren’t for the angel on the porch steps. It might not make me feel better in the long run, but it would make me feet better right now so I was going to do it.

He wasn’t paying attention to me. He was glowering at Yahweh and having a one-person stand off because Yahweh was just not interested in his stink eye. Everyone was a little too worried about the psycho angels with god-killing poke sticks to pay attention to little Shitler throwing a tantrum.

The angels were either powerless, fucked in the head, or helping their friends. The plan was for Pax to turn as many angels mortal as possible while siccing the furies on them until they surrendered, but I guess everyone was more afraid of the angel who couldn’t be bothered to fight than they were of us.

Pax was still turning wings to sand and rendering angels mortal. Medusa and Dionysus were yanking knives away with vines. We’d kind of emotionally manipulated some of the other angels to fight with us by having the furies fuck up their friends so they attacked them.

If I could take Adolf Shitler out, I had a feeling the angels who didn’t want any of this would stop fighting and rat out the ones who were complicit. I didn’t know if any god could fix it once a fury infected someone’s mind, but I was hoping Yahweh would spank his wayward kids by breaking out the whole smiting thing.

He didn’t seem willing to break it out on Adolf Shitler, even though all of this was his fault, so I was going to take care of it. I just needed to surprise him because he had that really annoying glow power that could kick me right off this battlefield.

I had to be all sneaky like, but luckily, both halves of my DNA were built for that. I dissolved into the shadows and since this fucker was just waiting on the porch like there wasn’t all this shit going down on the lawn, there were plenty of places for me to hide.

See, I’d been watching and learning. They had some neat magic and those stupid wings, but they didn’t have extra senses. He couldn’t scent me and angels couldn’t feel auras. If he sent everyone to fight and never did it himself, he might not even have the fighter’s reflexes to figure out I was creeping.

I shifted into my shadow wolf and got ready to pounce. I wriggled my butt a bit because I spent way too much time around degenerate cats and then I jumped. Yeah, called it. He’d gotten lazy having other people fight his battles.

I grabbed his wings where they joined his shoulder and focused on ripping them off with my teeth. He roared and tried to buck me off, but yeah, dog with a bone. I remembered what every angel told me about their wings being that sensitive and had a working theory that this fucker would be in too much pain to light up like a Yule tree.

And I was right. Unfortunately, so was Michael about how tough their wings were. I mean, I wanted all the fried chicken, but I wasn’t going to be the one to kill one of the chickens and pluck it. I’d named all of them and couldn’t do that to them.

Plucking chickens had to be easier than this or Cas would let me keep the backyard chickens as pets and buy the chicken we ate at the grocery store. If it was, I owed Cas all the blowies when he made me fried chicken.

I was yanking, and it was super annoying that it was harder to rip an angel apart than other supernaturals. Usually, my canines ripped through them like butter. Ugh. My theory that he couldn’t glow in that much pain was a sound one, but he was bucking like a little bitch.

The only part of me I was allowing to be solid was my face and paws because I was using them to maul. I lost my grip when he tried to slam my head into the post and I had to turn it into smoke. Ugh. I hadn’t ripped them off, but I’d mangled the fuck out of his wings.

Adolf Shitler was playing it smart this time and pressing his back to the wall so I couldn’t get behind him again but everyone knew you were fucked when you were cornered by a wolf. He could portal, but I could poof. I mean, I’d have no idea where he was going, but I was deadly and smart. I could use that to get the rest of the angels to give up.

He brandished the knife at me while grinning like a psycho. This was the perfect time for a witty quip and throwing his nickname at him, but I wasn’t about to shift back and wave my dick at him with that knife in play. And I only showed my dick to people I liked except for that one time that Sheriff Riddle threatened to arrest me.

It was adorable. He thought that knife would save him from a shadow wolf. He’d have to catch me solid to stick me with it and I was too good for that.

I pounced. Maybe I could rip his head off easier than his wings.