3. Hayliel

3

I survived an angel blade.

I survived an angel blade.

The words play on repeat in my head, but it doesn’t matter how much I say them. It doesn’t feel real. Not when all we know about them is how they kill our kind. Full stop. No deviation. I even saw it with my own two eyes after Roderick stabbed that man. Could he have survived? Was my running away what killed him?

It’s all too much.

As we fly, we keep close to the cliffside, doing our best to remain unseen until we’re back in the safety of our campus houses. But I can’t focus on any of that when my mind is racing like this. Something nags at me, a comment I overheard at the barn that made it sound like the angel blades were coming from demons. Do they only procure them, or are they somehow mass-producing them? If that’s the case, maybe it’s not that I survived and more that the weapons were faulty. I guess it’s a good thing Zeke didn’t give that blade over to the guild after all.

This is all too fucking much.

I can sense their eyes on me. Raphael, Theo, and Zeke. I try to ignore it, but that only leaves me with two options. Go out of my mind trying to piece everything together, or focus on how I feel. Both options suck.

My entire body aches in ways I’ve never experienced before, from my fingertips to my toes. And despite the cool morning air whipping across my face, I’m so goddamn hot.

It’s probably just a fever from the adrenaline. Sure, angelic fevers aren’t really a thing, but neither is surviving an angel blade—or three—so the realm of possibilities seems to be up for discussion.

We fly over the shimmering falls, and I catch sight of the dark Fallen house in the distance.

Home sweet home. Almost there.

My only focus is on keeping my wings beating and my breath steady, but the harder I try, the heavier my limbs become. I’m so damn tired. It’s a battle just to keep my eyes open, let alone stay in the fucking sky.

“Good gracious. You lot are a mess,” Professor Castiel says, startling me. His powerful white wings flap with ease as he assesses us. A few tendrils have escaped the ribbon that usually holds his hair back, but otherwise, he looks pristine. “All of you, come with me.”

Dread settles in the pit of my stomach as I share a look with the others and pivot to follow him toward the main hall. Fuck. He’s going to bring us to Principal Cael and report our leave. As if our night—or morning now, I suppose—couldn’t get any damn worse.

Raphael has his slate out, furiously typing. To Dina, perhaps? I search my mind for our bond, wanting to ask him about it, but it’s not there. Or rather, it is, but the edges are frayed and the reception sucks. What the hell?

Instead of taking us to the front door, Professor Castiel leads us to a window on the side of the building. He unlocks it with a flick of his fingers before opening it and motioning us inside. Raph is the last to enter, tucking away his slate with a concerned look on his face.

This is Castiel’s classroom, which is blissfully empty at the moment. But if he’s not reporting us to the principal, then why are we here? All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. I don’t have the capacity for whatever mental gymnastics he may put us through.

“Would someone like to tell me where you’ve been and why you all look like you’ve just survived another attack?” He pauses, taking a second to look at each of us, but no one answers.

It isn’t that I have reasons not to trust him. From day one he’s been more than fair and supportive, especially to me, but does that mean he’s trustworthy? Masks are easy to wear and hard to detect. I try again to reach my friends through the bond, but it’s pointless.

Our silence is loud, becoming more uncomfortable the longer Castiel watches us, and I’m about to break it, if only to leave and go to sleep, when Dina barges through the door.

“There you are!” she says, sounding far too jovial for this early in the morning. “I see you survived the rather wild paint night we had. Though if you were going to leave and have a four-way, I wish you’d have told me.”

What. The. Fuck?

My jaw falls open in horror, eyes darting toward Castiel because, really? This is the best excuse she could come up with?

“Uh, yeah. I guess we got a little carried away,” I reply, sounding entirely unconvincing, even to my own ears.

Castiel looks around our group, one eyebrow raised. “A paint night. That’s how you’re going to play this off?”

He doesn’t buy our shit for a second, and I’m not surprised. We’re covered in enough angel and demon blood that we’d have had to be the canvas. I’m just grateful he ignored the four-way comment.

Dina laughs nervously, her mouth opening and closing like she’s not sure what to say. None of us are after that.

Something tugs at my mental bonds, telling me my friends are trying to reach me, but as hard as I try, I can’t find a solid connection. Pain wraps around my head like a vise, only disappearing when I stop trying to reach them. From the concerned look on their faces, it’s obvious they’re having a conversation that I’m not part of.

“I’ll vouch for Castiel,” Zeke says. “We can trust him. And frankly, given what we all survived tonight, we don’t really have a choice.”

The rest of our group nods, but Castiel holds up his hand. “Wait. Say nothing more. Dina, can you lock the door please, and Theo, could you please do the same with the window?”

While Dina and Theo do as they’re told, Castiel heads behind his desk and pulls a candle from the locked bottom drawer. Kind of a weird time to light a candle, but okay. Maybe ambiance is important to him or something?

Once it’s lit, he places it on a desk in the middle of the classroom and motions for us to cluster around it. “This is a silencing flame. As long as it’s lit, no one outside this room will hear us.”

Damn. That’s a thing? And he just keeps it in his bottom drawer? Who the hell is this guy?

He pulls a first aid kit from another drawer of his desk, along with an unopened bottle of water. “Now, clean the blood from your skin and tell me what it is you survived.”

We each take one of the cotton pads and splash some water on it before scrubbing. Where do we even begin? The attack tonight? Finding Roderick? Before that? It feels like far too much information to share after everything we’ve been through. And I’m too damn drained of energy to consider the consequences.

“We’ve been researching my wings.”

Castiel nods. “Are you referring to your transformation from gray to gold, or to what caused the demons to turn to ash?”

I bite the inside of my cheek and look at my friends, unsure if I should admit the truth or not. When Theo nods, I let it all out. “Both. For the most part, all we’ve found are dead ends, but we stumbled onto something else. Strange demonic behavior with angel involvement. That lead brought us nothing but grief tonight when the demons attacked. Thankfully, the guild intervened but …” I trail off, glancing at Raph, Theo, and Zeke for … what? Reassurance? It doesn’t even feel real to me, and yet I’m supposed to tell another angel about it like it’s a fact?

My mouth opens and closes several times, but the words never come.

“What happened, Hayles?” Dina asks with worry in her eyes.

“I …”

Raphael saves me by saying the words I can’t. “They stabbed her with an angel blade. Three times.”

All the blood drains from Dina’s face, and she watches me with fear in her eyes. I can read the questions behind her eyes as she takes in every ounce of blood on my skin, every tear in my clothes. She wants to know how much longer I have left.

“We thought we’d lost her,” Theo adds, his voice raw, like the admission of that was far too hard to say out loud.

Dina swallows, tears welling. “But we haven’t, right? There’s a way to fight this?”

“I’m fine. Really,” I tell her, trying to reassure both of us. Sweat builds on my forehead, the heat in my blood making me wish we could open a door.

The room falls into silence for one eerie moment, then Dina rushes to my side and pulls me into a hug. “Fuck, babe. How is that even possible?”

“Well, since you’re here,” Zeke says to Castiel, “we were hoping you could tell us.”

As unsure as I was about telling him anything, now, more than ever, I hope he has the answers.

He purses his lips, assessing me. “Eventually, I’m going to need the entire story, but it’s obvious you need a little reassurance that you can trust me. I get that. As for your question, I’m afraid I don’t have a concrete answer. Theories? Yes. But if you allow me, I’d like to reach out to a few of my friends outside the university to confirm my suspicions.”

My stomach drops. Telling Castiel was hard enough, but involving other angels, ones we don’t even know? That’s the last thing I want.

Raphael places a cool hand on my shoulder, and a little of my unease dissipates. “Is that a good idea, though? The more angels who know about this, the less likely the information stays secret. Hayliel has already been through enough.”

“I agree. She has. And because of that, I would never do anything to put her in harm’s way. I will be as discreet as possible.”

There’s a tug on my mental bonds, and I try once more to open the pathway. Again and again I try, but each time I fail—and my desperation grows with each futile attempt. I wear the heat of their gazes like a brand.

Fuck this. I push everything I have into the mental bond until it snaps.

Pain erupts in my skull, bouncing around like a game of pinball. The throbbing sensation sends me stumbling into the desk behind me as stars explode behind my eyes.

“Guys,” I croak, putting even more of my weight onto my weak arms where they rest against the desk, but I won’t be able to hold myself forever. It feels like I’m slipping away. Down, down, down into nothing but darkness.

The ringing in my ears is loud enough to drown out everything. Every sound. Every voice. Even my own thoughts.

Gentle arms wrap around me, and someone runs a finger along my temple, soothing the ache. I don’t know how much time passes before the pain subsides, but eventually the murmurs of my friends and the sound of Castiel’s voice break through.

“Miss Hayliel, I’m just going to check your pulse. It won’t take long.”

Castiel stands in front of me. He presses a finger against my wrist, silently counting before offering me a reassuring smile.

“Good. Your pulse is strong and steady. But how do you feel?”

“Achy, and like I could sleep for an entire week.” That’s the simplistic answer, anyway. The real answer is that I feel like maybe I haven’t truly survived anything at all.

“I think that’s to be expected, given the circumstances.”

I frown, unsure whether I want to fully admit the next part. Now isn’t the time to hold back. “I’ve been having issues connecting telepathically since. I was trying to reach the bond with my friends when the pain overwhelmed me. Do you think it’s gone forever?”

I can’t make myself look at my friends, but their concern floats around me like wisps of smoke.

“Your body survived an ordeal today. The aches and exhaustion are part of it, I suspect, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the telepathy was too. You and your body need rest.” Castiel eyes the others. “All of you do. For now, I want you all to go back to your rooms. Clean up and get as much rest as you can. I’ll cover for your morning classes, but you’ll need to attend in the afternoon.”

“Thank you,” I say, my voice weaker than before. At this rate, can I even make it back to my dorm?

Dina takes my hand in hers, offering it a quick squeeze. “I’ll grab some food and bring it back to the house. Could one or all of you stay with her until I’m back? I’ll bring enough food for everyone.”

“Of course,” all three of my friends say in unison, even Zeke.

“Good, good. Stick to the skies and use your balconies. The fewer angels who see you in your current state, the better. I’ll reach out to my contacts right away, discreetly, of course,” Castiel assures us as we head toward the window. Only after we’ve unlocked and opened it does he add a few last parting words. “You can trust me.”

Our gazes lock for the briefest of moments, but all I do is nod.

I really hope we can.