20. Ezekiel

20

I stand outside Hayliel’s dorm with a storm cloud of emotion hanging over my head.

Ever since learning about Uriel’s devious plan, an anger like none I’ve ever felt before has taken hold of me and hasn’t left. It sits in my gut, simmering until it feels like I’ll lose my mind if I don’t do anything. But since I can’t, not without royally screwing things up, I arranged for something less destructive.

There’s not a doubt in my mind that what’s happened over the past few weeks has really fucked with Hayliel’s head. She tries to hide it behind her mask of happiness and joy, and while I think some of that is real, I see through to the worried, hurt angel beneath.

It’s why I invited her to my dad’s place where hopefully we can try working on imbuing her sunfire. A nice distraction. Well, that, and because the cave isn’t really the safest place for her to practice. Sure, we’ve warded it and put as many protections in place there as we can, but it’s not foolproof.

With dad at work, it’ll just be the two of us. No one will barge in, and we’re not in a carved out rock on the side of a cliff that might crumble down around us if her power is too strong. Dad’s workshop was built for weapon forging and tinkering.

I expected her to put up a fight when I brought it up last night at the cave, or that she’d want Raphael and Theo to come with her, but she agreed without a second thought. As much as I want to assume it’s all about me, I’m smart enough to realize that it’s likely more about the sunfire and being close enough to visit her parents than anything else.

She opens the door and the breath catches in my throat. Wearing a pair of loose-fitting, high-waisted pants and a cropped tank top, she looks delectable. Her wing jacket hangs just off her shoulders, so I give it the last pull to get it properly in place, though I’d rather she be wearing something else.

As if sensing where my thoughts are going, she smiles and says, “If we weren’t flying, I would have worn your jacket.”

“In that case, it’s not too late to change our minds. We can just practice in the cave.”

She laughs, and the sound brings a smile to my lips.

“Hell no. You invited me to your house, Zeke. No take backs. Are you ready?”

I nod. “Let’s get out of here.”

Principal Cael finally removed the new rule that had us signing out of school whenever we left. Which leads me to believe they either found who they suspected was the inside man or realized no student would be so foolish as to let demons onto the property. Hell, it’s not as if we could even adjust the wards ourselves so they’re way off base. I hope they found proof that asshole Uriel was involved so he can be replaced. Whatever, I’m just grateful not to feel like a wayward teen trying to sneak out at night.

We leave from her balcony, wanting to avoid as many other angels as possible. The sun is high in the sky, not a cloud to be seen as we make our way to the Fallen district in a peaceful silence. I’m curious to see what she thinks of our house, knowing what she does about the rest of the district.

The entire Fallen district used to be designated entirely to the guild, but over the past few decades, things have begun slowly changing. Now the guild has only one section reserved for lieutenants. Likely a way to keep them close, at their beck and call, but still. Dad lucked out and received a pretty sweet plot of land a while back, and I’m kind of surprised they haven’t tried to take it from him yet. If they do, I’ll know things have officially gone to shit.

“Holy crap,” Hayliel says, stopping to hover over the houses below. “Is this the guild neighborhood? It’s so fancy .”

“Have you not been to Theo or Raphael’s family homes yet? This is nothing compared to what the Pures have, but we can’t complain.”

She shoots me a look, and I know it’s because I didn’t say anything cruel or harmful about her boyfriends. Look at me, growing up.

“How do you know which house is yours? They all look the same from up here.” She scans row after row of black roofs, searching for some distinguishing mark to tell the difference.

“Habit, I guess. When I was younger, I nailed a colorful pair of dad’s boxers to the roof so I’d find it more easily, but the guild nearly had a conniption. They only stayed on for two days before they removed them and I got a slap on the wrist.”

Hayliel laughs, and I want to tell her more of my childhood stories. I want her to know me, the real me, more than I’ve wanted anything in a really, really long time. Part of me still fears her rejection, but she hasn’t turned me down yet and I’m trying to take angels at face value. If she doesn’t explicitly tell me she’s not interested, I shouldn’t put words in her mouth or assume.

“Come on. We’re almost there.”

We land in front of one of the many houses with white sliding and red doors. The same as all the others and yet so different. The house I grew up in. I watch in fascination as she takes it all in. There’s a small wraparound covered porch that goes from the front door around the left side to the back door. Mom and Dad used to spend quiet moments together on this porch every morning. They’d drink their coffees out back, with Dad’s arms trapping Mom between him and the railing. I remember looking out and watching them, hoping that one day I’d find a love as perfect as theirs. Now that she’s gone, Dad barely spends any time out there. The memories are too painful.

As if sensing the turn of my thoughts, Hayliel grabs my hand and squeezes. “I know we came here to do badass things, but would you mind giving me a tour first?”

“I was hoping you’d ask,” I tell her honestly, because I want her in every room of this place. It feels creepy to say, but when I come home to visit Dad, it’ll help to know she’s been here.

From the entryway she can see most of the first level, including the kitchen with an open space in the wall over the sink that peers into the sunken living room and the informal dining room that Dad and I rarely use since Mom died. I point out small things like the patio door off the kitchen, and the closed door down a short hallway where Dad’s room is as we walk by. The garage and workshop are off the dining room and even though I open the door for her to go inside, she doesn’t budge.

“Oh, hell no. If you got to see my room, it’s only fair I get to see yours.” Her eyes twinkle with humor and something else I can’t quite place.

“I didn’t know you wanted in my bedroom so badly, hummingbird. You should have said something earlier.” Tossing her a wink over my shoulder, I head back toward the entrance and continue past it to a set of three doors.

“That’s a guest bedroom and bathroom,” I say, pointing to the door on the right and the one at the end of the hall. “And that one is mine.”

She waits patiently for me to open it, which is surprising given how excited she seems to check it out, and when I finally do, I motion for her to step inside. I follow her into the tidy room with a bed that looks untouched. I can’t even remember the last time I stayed here for more than a few hours. Has it truly been since before the semester started?

Hayliel walks around the room, trailing her finger over my dresser and the shelf filled with medals and awards from my past. She stops at one near the end, glancing at me over her shoulder.

“You were in flying competitions?”

“I was,” I say, smiling sadly.

“But not anymore?” Hayliel asks tentatively.

“Not anymore. Flying was something I did with my mom. She was one of the fastest flyers the guild had ever seen, and I had hoped to match her. We were always playing around on her days off, practicing maneuvers or testing for speed, but it never felt like I was competing, if that makes sense. Racing on that island was actually the first time I’d done anything like that since she passed.” A sudden pang takes over me. Mom would have loved that island.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her body rigid like she wants to come over and comfort me, but she’s stopping herself. “If I had known …”

“It’s alright. To be honest, flying with you felt the same in a way. Carefree. Fun. I think it might have been good for me.”

She looks like she wants to say more but chooses not to, turning back around to continue her trek around my room. Once again, she stops, but this time she stares at the photo in the frame on my bedside table.

Even though I’m not next to her, I have that picture memorized. It’s of me and Mom on the last good day we had together before she was taken. We’d gone to the park and played with the tiny boats on the pond, then grabbed ice cream on the way home. It’s been so long now that parts of that day are beginning to fade in my memory, and it fucking hurts. I can’t even remember which ice cream flavor we had.

I don’t know how long Hayliel has been at my side, but she grabs my hand. “What was she like?”

“The sweetest. Like, eat too much candy and need to throw up, kind of sweet, but everyone loved her. She thought of others in everything she did, always trying to make someone smile or help ease the strain from someone else. She was too good to have gone out the way she did.”

“What happened to your mom is a tragedy. I know it doesn’t even come close to comparing, but she’s always with you. In here.” She presses her hand to my chest, right above my heart. “And even though I never got to meet her, I think she’d be proud of the man you’ve become.”

Her words hit me like a sucker punch. Mom would hate how I’ve treated Hayliel. She wouldn’t be proud of me for that. But maybe, if I keep making amends and continue to do better with this incredible angel in front of me, someday Mom will be.

Electricity sparks beneath my skin where Hayliel’s hand rests on my chest. The energy in the room builds until it feels like a living, breathing entity, and all I want to do is pull her into me and show her just how much I care for her. But fear of rejection and a worry that I’ll fuck things up when we’re finally making progress has me pulling back. She’s with Raphael and Theo, and despite what Theo said to me about sharing, I’m trying fucking hard to respect them.

I think I’ve caught a flash of disappointment on her face, but before I can study it for too long, it’s gone. Probably for the best.

“Come on. Let me show you the workshop.”

She follows me across the empty house without a word, watching as I pull a key from my pocket and unlock the workshop door. When she steps inside, she gasps.

“You weren’t kidding,” she says, looking around. “This place is perfect for experimenting with my sunfire!”

Finally, it feels like I can bring something to the table that the other assholes can’t. And yeah, I probably shouldn’t keep calling them assholes, but sometimes I can be a bitter, jealous piece of shit. Sue me.

“There’s the small forge Dad uses, though he hasn’t had much time for it lately. And beside that is his hammer and anvil where he makes the steel sing.”

“It must be fascinating to watch.” She sounds intrigued.

“It is. Maybe he’ll let us both watch sometime.” I regret the words as soon as they’re out of my mouth. It’s not that I don’t want her to meet Dad or spend as much time here as possible, but it’s just not realistic. And truthfully, I’m not sure that I could handle her here all the time and not get hopeful for more.

She smiles, looking like she wants to say something, but I change the subject. “There’s a foundry there where he can melt down metal and mold it into something else. That’s how I made my first dagger. It was pretty much the ugliest thing ever, but I was proud to carry it around with me because I made it with my own two hands.”

“Do you still have it?”

“No.” I don’t elaborate. After Mom died, I was inconsolable. It didn’t help that Dad shut himself off from everyone, including me, and it felt like I’d be alone forever. I spent most of my time in the woods, chucking that dagger at a tree and wishing it was the demons who took Mom from me. I lost it out there somewhere and haven’t seen it since.

It shouldn’t be so hard to share that with her, but the words get stuck in my throat.

Moving on, I say, “Dad polishes the items he makes at that table over there, and this one he uses for filing, bending, and whatever else he needs the space for.”

She spreads her hands over the metal table top, stopping at the unused leg vise. “Zeke, this place is cool as hell. What kind of things does he make down here?”

I hesitate for a moment, but decide to open up to her. “Not much these days, but over the years since Mom died, he’s tried to figure out how to make his own sunblades. Unsuccessful, of course, especially now that we know exactly how they’re made, but he tried all the same.”

At my words, Hayliel straightens her spine and looks at me with sheer determination. “If I can learn how to make them, I’ll supply him and the guild with as many as they need to take down the demons hunting our city. And if I can help avenge your mother, I will.”

The truth of her words is a tangible thing. How could I have been so wrong about this angel? I thought she was just like all the other girls I’ve met. Fickle and selfish. But she doesn’t carry an ounce of those traits.

“Thank you,” I tell her, my voice not as strong as I’d like, but if she notices, she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she just walks around the room, picking up tongs and other items with curiosity.

While I watch her, I can’t help but think about how glad I am to have kept her from Dad and Azrael. If Uriel knows she survived an angel blade, it’s because someone at the guild told him. As much as I want to trust them, I’m beginning to doubt that anyone at that damn place is trustworthy. And if Uriel is connected to whoever the mole is at the guild, then things are dire indeed. Now more than ever, we need to find out who it is so we can stop playing catch up and start making moves.

I grab a small dagger from a rack in the corner and hand it to Hayliel. “We’ll start small. When you’re ready, I want you to try imbuing this with sunfire.”

Her breath shakes when she lets out a sigh. “I’m nervous,” she whispers.

“This is a judgment free zone. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, we’ll pivot and try again. Zero pressure here,” I tell her.

“Just the fate of the entire city,” she grumbles, but I pretend not to have heard.

A few minutes pass by in silence. Nothing happens, and I can tell Hayliel is getting frustrated already. “Talk me through what happened the first time you summoned it. What were you thinking? Feeling? Explain it to me. Maybe we can find something to use.”

She nods, eyes trained on the wall behind me as she relives that moment in her mind. “I was scared. Terrified, actually. I knew the little cocoon I’d made with my wings wouldn’t protect me from an entire horde. But then I heard your voice, and the voices of the others, and suddenly I wasn’t as afraid. I was pissed. Anger like I’ve never experienced before overwhelmed me at the thought that those assholes were going to hurt you guys.”

I tap my finger on my lip, taking in her words. “It sounds like deep emotions, the fear and anger for your friends and loved ones, is what brought it on that time. If you’re up for it—and it’s okay if you’re not. This won’t be easy—but if you are, close your eyes and bring forth that same anger or fear. See if it helps grasp the sunfire within you.”

Listening to me, she closes her eyes, holding the small dagger just in front of her chest, and I can’t look away from her beauty. She struggles when the emotions don’t appear right away, her brow creasing with her mounting frustration.

“Focus on remembering what it felt like at that well, when your friends were so close to death and knowing there was nothing you could do to stop it.”

The line between her delicate brows intensifies along with her determination, and the dagger glows. It only lasts a second before it fades, gone so quickly I could have missed it with one wrongly timed blink.

A grin splits my lips as she opens her eyes, looking at the dagger for any sign that it worked. From deep within the steel, a soft yellow glow emanates. It’s faint, but it’s exactly what she needed to see to really know what everyone has been telling her. She can do this.

Excitement overtakes her until she’s jumping with joy and I watch her, half considering joining her. She gently places the dagger on the workbench and throws her arms around me. Hell, we don’t even know if what she imbued is enough to take down a demon, but it’s enough to give the hope of more. A brighter future. A real chance to take those bastards down and avenge all the angels they’ve taken from this world.

Her energy fuels my own until I pick her up, her legs wrapping around my waist while I twirl us around. “You did it,” I whisper in her ear.

Her hands trail across my shoulders and up my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “I did it,” she says, pulling back just enough to grip both sides of my face before diving in to plant a kiss on my lips.

It barely lasts a second, just enough to tease me with what I could have before she jumps out of my arms. She presses her fingers to her mouth and looks at me like she thinks I’m mad at her. “I’m sorry,” she says, cheeks turning red. “I know you don’t want …”

Is this what Theo was talking about? And Raphael? Have I truly been such an asshole that she thinks I’m disinterested? But how could she, after everything we’ve shared? The kiss at her parents’ house, that night in my dorm. How can she not see how enthralled I am?

“Fuck it,” I say and haul her into me, placing my lips on hers. She gasps in shock and I use the moment to delve my tongue forward, stroking it against hers. The groan that leaves her lips is sultry as she digs at my shirt like she’s trying to weld us together, get us as close as angelically possible, so there’s not an ounce of space between us. I allow it, feeling like for once we’re on the same page.

Gripping her ass, I lift her into my arms. Just like before, she wraps her legs around me, grinding against my erection until I growl. “Feel this?” I thrust against her. “This is what you do to me,” I say against her mouth, feeling wild and out of control.

“Zeke,” she breathes, making me lose the small ounce of restraint I had to let her take the lead.

If she was unsure how obsessed I am before, she’ll have no doubts after today.

I turn toward the workbench and set her down, being very careful to move the blade we imbued earlier out of the way. “I need to taste you, hummingbird.” She doesn’t protest when I flick open the button of her pants or pull the zipper down. All she does is lift up so I can pull them and her underwear down, revealing her slick heat to me.

I don’t waste any time spreading her thighs. Her pretty pink pussy glistens, beckoning me forward until I burrow my face between her legs. She rests them on my shoulders, gripping my hair as I devour her, sucking and stroking, using just my tongue to fuck her until she moans.

Hayliel tastes like a freshly picked peach on a summer day. Sweet and bright. I would gladly feast on her every day for the rest of my life. That thought hits me like a brick, but I don’t focus on it now. Not when she’s spread out beneath me like this.

“More.”

I smile against her and give in to her demands. If she wants more, I’ll give it to her.

My tongue laps against her clit while I push one finger, then two inside her wet warmth. She stretches around my fingers, soft gasps escaping her lips, and when I pump my fingers, she tosses her head back.

My dick is rock solid while I watch, but as much as I want to pull it out and replace my fingers with it, I hold back. This isn’t about me. This is about her. Her needs and wants, and making sure she feels every ounce of attraction I have for her, even if that means keeping my dick tucked away.

“Zeke,” she moans, “I’m so close.”

“I know, baby.” My fingers pulse, pressing against that special place inside that I know turns her feral, and when her eyes flash open, I’m positive she’ll fall apart in mere seconds. I suck her sensitive little nub into my mouth and she shatters, her pussy clenching around my fingers like she’ll never let me go.

Slowing my movements, I don’t let up, letting her ride out the orgasm for as long as possible before standing upright. Her eyes are hooded and full of desire as she pulls me up for a kiss, not at all caring that her own juices coat my tongue.

The kiss turns needy, more demanding, right as the door to the workshops opens and my dad says, “Zeke, what—Oh. I, uh, I’ll come back.”

Hayliel turns to stone beneath me, with her eyes glued to the now closed door. “Oh fuck. Did your dad just …?”

I chuckle. “Looks like he did.”

“Why are you laughing!” She swats my arm, pushing me away so she can jump down off the table. “Your dad just caught me in his workshop with my pants around my fucking ankles,” she says, keeping her voice low as she pulls the aforementioned pants up.

“Want to meet him?”

She glares at me; her face still flushed from her orgasm and probably from the embarrassment of my dad walking in on us. “Not like I have a choice now, is it?”

Her response only makes me laugh more. I pull her into me, kissing the top of her head lightly. “I’m sorry. It’ll be fine, hummingbird. This is just as awkward for him as it is for you. For us.”

“Not helping, Ezekiel.”

The clock on the far wall tells me he’s home earlier than expected, and unless the time is wrong, I’m damn near late for my shift at the guild. I hand her the knife she’d imbued and say, “Tuck that away where he can’t see. Looks like we lost track of time, and I need to leave for the guild. I’ll drop you off at your parents’ place first, though.”

Her anger falls away as she looks at me. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Don’t worry about me. Your safety is more important. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re getting out of here without at least an introduction. Think you can handle that?”

She drops her face into her hands and sighs before straightening. It’s a little terrifying how easily she puts on a mask of indifference, but I can’t deny it’ll serve her now.

We exit the workshop and find Dad in the kitchen making a sandwich. He doesn’t turn to us right away. “Ah, sorry about that back there. I didn’t realize Zeke had anyone over.”

“We’re sorry too. I didn’t think you’d be home this early. Dad, this is my friend Hayliel. Hayliel, this is my dad, Kirach.”

“Girlfriend, actually,” Hayliel says, and I damn near choke on air. “It’s nice to meet you, though I wish it were under less awkward circumstances.” She blushes, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

I can’t say I don’t love the sound of it. Her as mine.

“Girlfriend, huh? I didn’t know you had one of those.” Dad shoots me a soft smile. “I’d love to get to know the girl who finally caught my son’s eye, if you have some time?”

I cough. “I’m actually late for a shift, and Hayliel has to get to her parents’.”

“But another time, for sure,” Hayliel adds, making my dad smile.

“I’d like that. It was nice to meet you, young lady. Son, I’d like to chat with you once you’re finished at the guild, if you don’t mind.”

“You got it,” I tell him, pulling Hayliel back out the front door. “Talk later!”

Then we take off in the sky, with my girlfriend giggling uncontrollably.