15. Hayliel

15

I s this a dream?

I pinch myself, wincing a little when it hurts, but it does as intended. This is real. Castiel figured out why I’m different, but am I even ready to find out? What if everyone else was right all along and I truly am spawned by the very creatures who almost killed me?

I’m not sure I could handle that.

Subtly, my friends drift toward me, pushing a sense of calmness through our mental connection. I try to let it settle within me and shove the other thoughts away, the ones where they leave me when they find out I’m a monster.

Shit. Where the hell is my parents’ optimism when I need it?

“Do we really think it’s a good idea for everyone present to hear this?” Raphael asks before Castiel can unravel my history. He nods to Mira in a way that’s less subtle than if he’d just said her name.

As expected, Mira notices. “I’ve kept his secrets, your secrets. And besides, I gave you a rune to literally showcase who you can trust, which I walked through unharmed, I might add.”

Castiel’s eyes widen. “Ah, so you’re the reason there’s a banned rune etched near the door?”

“I am, though I’m starting to think it was a waste,” Mira mumbles.

“Not a waste, my dear. It’s precisely what’s needed. This runic symbol detects intended harm. Any being who crosses through an area marked by this rune will be judged. If they mean no ill will to those that created the mark, they are free to pass, which you saw from that blue glow when I walked in. But if they mean to harm you, the rune will glow a dark maroon and the perpetrator will be immobilized.”

I stare dumbfounded at Castiel. “Immobilized?”

He smiles. “Yes. Vines will sprout up around them, with thorns coated in a paralyzing substance that will wrap around the evil doer and keep them still until you can figure out what needs to be done.”

“Holy shit,” Dina says, the excitement at the prospect of taking down our foes so easily clear on her face.

“Indeed. When the Archangels took over, they banned that rune. They wanted to present a united front amongst the angels and have all of angel kind band together in peace.”

Peace. It feels like such a foreign concept, but it ignites a burning question in my gut. If the Archangels knew how bad the in-fighting is now, would they step in to stop it?

Startling me from my thoughts, Theo touches my arm. “Since the information Castiel has is about you, I think it’s only fair that you decide if Mira can stay to hear it.”

I study her, still not knowing the real reason she’s here, but unable to ignore what she’s done for us so far. Mira doesn’t balk at my perusal, only stands still. “She kept our secrets long before even knowing what they were. Besides, the rune marked her as safe. She can stay.”

“Thank you,” she says, lips tipping up slightly. “I won’t let you down.”

I don’t know what it is exactly, but I feel her truth in my bones.

Castiel claps his hands once. “Now that we have that settled, Miss Hayliel, are you ready?”

“I think so.” Nerves wrack my body, though I try to keep the fidgeting at bay. I’m about to find out what I’ve been searching my entire existence for, yet it’s not at all like I expected it to be. I always pictured discovering it alone, somewhere in a dimly lit library with only myself and my history. This is better. Surrounded by friends and the angels I love. While I may not be able to handle it if I’m truly spawned from demons, I’m slowly coming to realize that I don’t think my friends will care that much. And that is true, unconditional friendship.

With a clearing of his throat, Castiel begins. “I believe you’re what’s called a Seraphim. I suspected as much when your wings first changed, but I felt even more confident once I heard about your hot flashes—”

“Hot flashes?” Raphael asks, looking confused.

“—and about your miraculous survival against an angel blade.”

Mira’s mouth falls open. “Now wait a damn minute. You survived a blade? But I thought that was impossible …”

“Our Hayliel is full of surprises,” Theo adds, nudging me softly, but I can’t focus on anyone else's shock but my own.

The relief that flows through me is a tangible thing, surrounding me like a warm, cozy blanket. I almost can’t believe it. “I’m not spawned from demons,” I say, collapsing into one of the small chairs Raphael and I built earlier.

“Quite the opposite, actually,” Castiel reassures. “In terms of power, Seraphim are ranked above Archangels but below God. Because of how powerful they are, it’s rare to have more than one Seraphim alive at once. There’s only one instance of such a thing happening, and it changed the course of angelic history.”

I should feel pleased, but the way he says the words makes me think it’s a far darker story than I might hope. “What do you mean?”

“A very long time ago, there were two powerful Seraphim. A pair of siblings, one boy and one girl. As they grew, so too did their power. Eventually, God began to feel threatened by them until one day, he snapped. He moved against the Seraphim and anyone who stood in his way. It took all four of the Archangels to stop him, but not without casualties, including the last two Seraphim in recorded history.”

As Castiel speaks, my heart breaks for the two siblings. The word Seraphim bounces around my head, ping-ponging through my mind until I remember where I’ve seen it before. There was a book in the library with pages ripped out that mentioned this type of angel. Is what happened with God the reason all mention of them has been removed from history, because they can’t be trusted? Maybe I haven’t escaped my fate of being a monster.

“Was there any truth to God’s suspicions? Were the Seraphim trying to take over?” Theo asks like he plucked the very thoughts from my mind.

“That I don’t know. I only met them once when they were young and both seemed kindhearted. Like you.” He says that last point to me, and I wonder just how much of my worry is plastered on my face.

“Do we know how they died?” I ask, wondering how such powerful beings could be taken from this world.

“Not exact details, no. But as far as I know, only God could kill a Seraphim, so I would suspect one of their last acts in this world was helping to save Silver City from tyranny.”

If that were true, then why aren’t they celebrated as the Archangels are? Why isn’t the story more widely spread? It makes no sense.

“With no God around, does that mean she’s truly immortal? And if so, is that why she survived the blade and not because of the faulty runes?” Raphael asks, causing my heart to squeeze. It’s a scary thought to consider. True immortality would be incredible, but not alone. I couldn’t survive living forever if it meant being without my friends and family. That would be a fate worse than death.

The second part of his comment finally registers. “Wait. What do you mean, faulty runes?”

Raph and Theo share a look, then Theo shrugs and says, “The dagger we pulled from your shoulder looked off. Some of the runes didn’t fully connect. We couldn’t tell if it was old and faded, or if something else was at play.”

I read between his words easily enough. They think the demons supplying the angel blades are messing with them, but if that’s the case, what about the one I saw Roderick use to kill that guy? Because he absolutely died. And besides, it was demons that attacked me with the blade. Why would they use a faulty blade? It doesn’t make sense.

Before Castiel can answer Raphael’s question, Zeke asks one of his own. “If you suspected what she was all along, why didn’t you say anything?” My hard-headed, grumpy house leader looks more angry than usual, but this time his ire isn’t directed at me, but for me.

Castiel sighs. “I can only speculate on her mortality, I’m afraid, but I can comment on the runed dagger. It isn’t the runes that make it deadly. It’s the material used to make the blade. Shards of a very powerful scythe. Even if they messed with the runes, on purpose or not, that thing would still kill any one of us except for her. As for the rest, there are many reasons I didn’t speak up about my suspicions. To start, there has been no record of Seraphim since the siblings died, so how Miss Hayliel possesses the gene is frankly a miracle. And besides, I was under the impression that they have golden wings as soon as they develop.”

Zeke rolls his eyes. “Fine. Say I believe that excuse. Why wouldn’t you have at least mentioned it after her wings changed? You knew how hard she was looking, how much pain she was in not knowing what she was. Keeping that knowledge to yourself was cruel.”

Butterflies flutter to life in my belly as Zeke defends me. Even with the distance he’s kept lately, it’s nice to know he still has my back.

“If I had gotten her hopes up and been wrong, that would have been far more painful for her. What happened near the well could have been a fluke from your transformation, a one-time thing only. It’s only when you told me about surviving an angel blade that I felt confident.”

“And yet you still needed confirmation from a stranger, someone outside our group who now knows the truth,” Zeke grumbles, growing more annoyed with the professor.

Castiel, ever the mature angel, doesn’t seem to notice. “A necessary evil, yes. Phiel is trustworthy. He’s a recluse by choice, but he knows how to keep his mouth shut. Regardless, knowing what I do now, I’m sorry that I didn’t share my suspicions with you earlier, Miss Hayliel. I hope you’ll forgive me someday.”

I smile, not having even an ounce of space in my soul for anger. Not today. “There is nothing to forgive, Castiel. I understand what Zeke is saying, and I even feel those exact same things, but you’re right. If I had known what you suspected and then it was wrong, I would have felt so much worse. The fact is that we know now. Finally, after all these years, I know who I am.”

“I’ve always known who you are, babe,” Dina says with pride in her voice. “You’re my best friend and the greatest angel I know. The difference now is that we know what you are. You’re still you. Don’t forget that.”

Tears well in my eyes as I nod at my oldest friend.

“When I was little, my grandmother would read me stories before bed and there was one I always insisted on hearing,” Mira says, grinning as she recalls the memory. “It was a story about a golden-winged angel with the power to heal others and harness a blade made of pure sunfire. I always thought it was made up, just a story to bring hope to little girls like me, but maybe it was real.”

She stares at me with open adoration, like I’m the one her grandmother used to read about, but I’m nowhere close to being a beacon of hope. If what her story talked about is true, then maybe someday I can be.

To my surprise, she doesn’t ask to see my wings, which only makes me like her more. Why can’t more angels be like her? Instead, I’m stuck at a school filled with creeps like Professor Uriel or cruel bullies like Seraphina and Cadriel.

“Castiel, do you recall when the last sunblade was made?” Zeke asks. His question causes me to pause because I know exactly where his mind is going. But there’s no way, right?

My mind whirls in a million directions as I wait for Castiel to answer.

“Picked up on that, did you?”

“Can you elaborate for those of us who aren’t quite following?” Dina asks sheepishly, and I can’t help but laugh.

Castiel chuckles too, then nods. “Sunblades are created using sunfire, which only the Seraphim can harness. They have what’s called the smiting touch and can summon sunfire at will to kill demons with a single touch. Imbuing any weapon with sunfire will make it strong enough to kill those creatures too.”

Holy shit! I can make more fucking blades!

“That must have been what I did at the well when those demons turned to ash. It sure as hell would have come in handy earlier, say before I got fucking stabbed, though.”

“Hey,” Theo says, placing a comforting hand on my arm. “We can’t change the past. We can only move forward.”

He’s right. I can’t do anything about the things that have already happened. I can only look ahead, and maybe, if I can create more sunfire imbued weapons, then we’ll stand a fighting chance in winning this war with demons.

“How good are the chances that someone here knows how I can do the whole harness and imbuing thing?”

“Not so fast,” Castiel says before anyone else can speak. “We need to be careful.”

“Be careful?” Zeke scoffs. “We’re at war with demons and we’re losing . Things are so bad some of our own kind are on their side. The time for being careful has long since passed.”

Castiel sighs. “Acting rashly won’t help you win any wars, Ezekiel. In fact, doing so will most likely get you killed. I’m not saying you shouldn’t make those weapons, but you don’t yet have all the facts.”

I shoot Zeke a look, hoping he’ll get the hint and just chill the fuck out for a minute. “What can you tell us?”

“God believed those sunfire imbued weapons could harm more than just demons. From what I’ve heard, he was positive that if they were infused with enough sunfire, they could harm even him.”

Theo grimaces. “So what you’re saying is if this information gets into the wrong hands, or even makes its way to the Archangels, they might have the same reaction as God did.”

I shrug, not having heard enough to keep me from at least trying. “Then we keep doing what we’ve been doing and be discreet. I agree that it’s risky, but if I have even a sliver of a chance to help us fight back against the demons, I’m going to do it. We all saw what those creatures did to the students at SCU, and I know firsthand what their deadly blades can do to us. I’m a lot of things, but a coward isn’t one of them.”

Zeke, who had been silently pacing, stops. “I agree with Hayliel. And when you succeed in making more blades, we can’t just waltz in and supply the guild with some. Not until we figure out who the mole is and just how much leverage they have.”

“Wait. There’s a mole in the guild?” Mira asks, looking alarmed.

Castiel raises an eyebrow, realizing he and Mira are the only two who seem surprised. “This is news to me as well.”

I slap my hand to my forehead. Whoops. I guess we never really spilled the beans, did we? “Sorry. With so much having happened, we must have missed filling you in. The short story is that demons and angels are working together, though the cause for their partnership is undetermined. We know the guild is involved because of conversations we overheard between a demon and an unknown angel, though we suspected it before then.”

“And during the attack at SCU, one of the guild’s secret armories was broken into, and that’s pretty much impossible to do without someone on the inside,” Zeke adds.

I rack my brain, trying to determine if that’s the gist of everything we’ve been through so far, but it’s too hard to tell.

“Well shit. That’s not good.” Mira laughs. “How the hell are any of you passing classes with all of this going on?”

“By the skin of our teeth,” Dina says dryly.

“This is grave indeed and might explain why the guild was less than helpful during the attack,” Castiel adds, looking concerned.

Zeke nods. “That’s my suspicion as well. I assume whoever the mole is paid several angels to make fake reports and clog up the call systems. It’s why when I called my father, or even Lieutenant Azrael, no one answered. Apparently, everyone was seeing demons that day.”

I shudder at the thought, not wanting to relive that awful day on campus. Sure, it might have brought my transformation on and finally led me to know what I am—something I still can’t believe to be true—but it still haunts me.

Mira looks like her mind is a million miles away, so I’m surprised when she speaks. “Knowing all of this, I have to agree with Hayliel on creating those blades. Does that mean you can summon sunfire at will, or? How does that work?”

I wince, not wanting to admit defeat, but knowing I can’t lie. “I, uh … haven’t quite figured that bit out yet. It happened once, but honestly, I thought the transformation itself was the cause.”

“Hey,” Raphael says, pulling me in for a quick hug and placing a quick kiss on my forehead. “We’ve uncovered another piece of the puzzle now. You’ll figure it out in no time, sunshine. Just you wait.”

“Speaking of figuring things out,” Castiel says, “Have you attempted to connect through your mental channels yet?”

My cheeks flame as I think about what me and the guys were doing when we discovered the mental pathways were unblocked. I sure as shit won’t tell Castiel it was during a three-way in the weaponry building.

To make matters worse, Dina jumps on the questioning train, and all I want to do is hide. “Wait, it’s back? When did this happen?”

“Yeah,” I damn near squeak. “The other day.”

As if sensing my discomfort, Zeke changes the subject before anyone else can continue their inquisition. “So we continue with what we’ve been doing then. Combat training, digging into what the fuck’s going on with demons and angels, and now discovering how to summon your abilities. All the while remaining inconspicuous. Does everyone agree?”

Right. Sounds like a piece of cake.

A round of agreement goes up, including one from Mira. I feel bad for her. She can’t have known the shitstorm she was walking into when she stumbled upon Zeke doing sketchy shit. I wonder if she regrets it.

“Look, I know I’m new and I don’t even go here, but I’m all in. If you’ll have me, of course.” It’s the first time since meeting her that she’s looked apprehensive.

I glance from Zeke, to Dina, to Raphael, and then to Theo, but before any of us can agree, Castiel speaks.

“I don’t know who she is or why she’s here, but if she passed through that door without issue, then you can trust her. And given everything that’s going on, it wouldn’t hurt to have an extra ally.”

He’s right. We need all the help we can get.