5. Kieran

5

KIERAN

Of course, Steele still chose the seat at the very end of the kitchen island, leaving two chairs between Bastian and him. It was progress, though.

"Worried I'm going to kiss you or something?" Bastian asked, tilting his head with the question as he observed Steele. A second later he pursed his lips, making kissing noises.

My chest shook with the laugh I held in, soaking up the uncomfortable air radiating from Steele as his upper lip curled. "I'm more concerned about your blood obsession," he muttered in response. "What if you like mine more than Kieran's?"

A loud scoff sounded as Bastian visibly recoiled. "As if."

I couldn't help but preen a bit as both of their gazes swung to me, doing a small little hair flip and blowing a kiss to Bash. "He knows quality when he sees it."

Perhaps it was a small dig, but old habits die hard. I couldn't just be entirely nice to Steele from now on, and honestly, I didn't want him to be sugary sweet to me either. It felt too odd. Banter, and digging at each other, was what we did.

Steele let out a chuckle and nodded for a few seconds. "So, I'm going to give you all a rundown of where our forces are before Kieran's head grows too big for us all to fit in this room."

I flipped him off, smirking. "Better hurry up then."

It seemed he shared the sentiment of keeping the jabs going between us. Good.

The mood quickly turned somber and serious as he began, his arms crossing over his broad chest as his commanding tone held my full attention. "There are still several unstable patients in the medical center, but as of now, we've lost over forty lives. It would have been a hell of a lot more without Niz, and I will personally be thanking him when he wakes up. Because of all of you, and our forces, we tallied over two hundred deaths on Alfemir's side, and my lieutenants were able to lead our forces into pushing the remainder into a retreat."

Because of all of you.

My breath caught at the sentiment, a harsh reminder of what I had grappled with before coming down from my room. Gabe's gaze jerked to me at the hitch in my breathing, concern shining in his vibrant, green eyes.

I mouthed, "I'm fine."

"We should have slaughtered every single one of them while we had the chance," Ronan rumbled, staring a hole into the counter as I looked at him in shock. The emotion was echoed by those around me, Gabe offering him an arched brow of surprise and Steele staring at him almost cautiously—as if his belief on who Ronan was as a person was being challenged.

While a vicious opponent, he wasn't typically the bloodthirsty one of this group. Bastian clapped him on the shoulder, squeezing lightly. "We'll get vengeance for Niz. Be patient."

It dawned on me then, where this thirst for blood came from. I should have guessed, but I was too busy being thankful Niz had pulled through than taking the time to think about who had hurt him to begin with.

Steele's throat cleared. "Actually, after I left Amelia at the medical center and before coming home last night, I inquired about the angel who injured him during the brief with my lieutenants."

My interest was piqued, and once again, I was surprised that he even thought about the well-being of someone from our group. With a tight frown, he sighed before continuing, "The angel was killed and his sword was taken into custody. It's sitting with all the other weapons that were recovered in our training room. It was noted that it seems to be made of a different material than other weapons."

Ronan seemed to deflate, shoulders slumping and face falling as his palms flattened against the counter. He nodded in understanding before looking at Steele. "Thank you for that."

Seeing the two of them being polite with each other made me wonder if there was magic at play here, transporting me to an alternate universe. That was the only option, right?

Steele gave him a sharp nod back before moving on. "Our weaknesses have been exposed, and we will be funneling more time and resources into ensuring our medical center is able to handle such an influx of injuries. Unless more healers find their ways into our ranks, though, our hands are tied. As for the entirety of the Rebellion camp, we have to face the hard truths that come from this battle."

Gabe began passing out plates with our food on it as Steele continued, yet none of us made a move to eat.

"While our location is covered with magic, it's never acted as a barrier to keep unwanted persons from actually entering the space if someone found their way into it. Now that they know our location, there's nothing stopping them from coming back. The council is meeting today to decide if we have the resources to relocate the camp or if we need to hunker down and prepare for another attack."

The thought of relocating the Rebellion seemed nearly impossible, considering how large their forces were. I couldn't imagine the amount of time it took to build all the houses and buildings that allowed them to maintain a functioning community here. If we moved, no doubt it would be only the bare minimum needed to survive coming with us.

"Can you let the council know that I'd like to speak with whoever is responsible for the current barrier spell?" Bastian questioned as he sat back in his chair, his brow pinching before a determined look crossed his face. He seemed to lose himself in thought for a moment, but his eyes brightened as he glanced at Steele. "I'm starting to realize I don't know the extent of my powers, and maybe there is something I can do to help with security."

Steele nodded in agreement before Ronan spoke up.

"So, about that…" he trailed off, glancing between Bastian, Gabe, and me. "Did any of you catch what Noah said about him as he was working on healing Niz?"

We all shared looks of confusion.

He sighed, before continuing, "That's what I thought. After Noah said something about the complexities of magic and Bastian disagreed, he said that Bastian was speaking like a true Archimage. Does anyone know what that means?"

I couldn't believe I missed that, but I had been enraptured by Bastian's magic at work in the tense moment. But my jaw dropped as the term clicked into place, quickly recalling what little I'd read about it in a book.

"Yes," I spluttered, drawing all eyes to me. "I read about it briefly when studying dead affinities. I don't remember everything written about it, but essentially it's far above a regular Caster. It's someone who doesn't need spells to use magic and has a limitless well of power. There's no cap to what type of magic they can use, whereas most Casters have a speciality of spells they can cast, with a limit on the energy they have to use them."

Bastian mulled over my words for a moment before smiling. It was slightly sinister, the way the wide grin pulled slowly onto his lips as he lifted his hands to examine them with an unfiltered glee reflecting in his eyes. "So, what I'm hearing is, basically, I'm superior."

"Maybe it's Bastian's large head we need to be concerned about now," Gabe joked before digging into his food.

If I'd heard someone else say what Bastian had, I'd be concerned for their sanity, but it felt entirely normal coming from his mouth. I wasn't sure what that said about any of us, but at some point, we'd just accepted his unusual brand of thoughts and words.

Ronan's shoulders slumped in my peripheral, drawing my focus as I attempted to read his expression—sadness seemed to infiltrate his gaze. It quickly dawned on me that with the Archimage revelation, he was the only one in the room without a dead affinity. And that was on top of finding out that he actually didn't tame the wyvern that helped him climb as high in the ranks of Tamers as he had.

Ronan quickly schooled his features, plastering on a false facade. He rolled his shoulders back and lifted his fist to lean his head on. I needed to talk to him about this later, in private.

Between bites, Gabe offered, "I say we take the rest of the day to help clean up from the battle and lend our help to where it's most needed right now. Tomorrow, we need Kieran and Bastian to work with Noah, to learn more about their powers, so we know exactly what we're all capable of."

With everyone in agreement, we quickly scarfed down our food and headed out, though Ronan stayed behind to keep a close eye on Niz. My feet led me toward the medical center, and upon telling a healer I was there to help however I could, they put me to work. Hours passed, and my hands felt permanently tinged crimson with blood, never really coming clean no matter how often I washed them. This time there was some comfort in it, though. While I wasn't a healer by any means, I was doing what I could to save lives.

Gabe had to practically drag me out of the medical center, telling me that Niz was awake now and we needed to go home. A piece of my soul felt a little lighter as we exited the building, but I still felt the need to hide my stained hands, shoving them into the back pockets of my jeans.

The path back seemed fairly empty, and the light shining on us from the moon would have usually given me comfort. Now it was just a reminder of the scene of our battle.

A hand gripped my wrist, gently tugging it from its hiding spot and drawing my eyes from the sky to Gabe. He stared at the stained skin before twining our fingers together and squeezing. We walked in silence for a few minutes before I tentatively asked, "It doesn't bother you?"

I watched his tongue dart out to lick his lips before his head craned to look at me. "Are you asking about the figurative blood on your hands, or the actual stain on them from helping today?"

It shook me to my core how easily he seemed to know me.

"Well, I guess both," I admitted, letting my eyes fall to the path in front of us.

He tugged us to a halt, pulling me into him. He cupped my cheeks in his hands, turning my head up until I met his gaze. Shivering, tingles ran through my body at the feel of his thumb sweeping across my jaw lightly.

"Neither bother me, Little Star," he admitted before grabbing both of my hands to bring them up between us.

He leaned to press his soft lips to them. Looking up at me from beneath his lashes, I couldn't recall a time where I had felt this certain that I didn't want to live without him. The way he made me feel so seen, heard, and safe all at once without me having to explain myself was so special, and sometimes I felt like I struggled to comprehend it.

"Despite not being in each other's lives for long, I've seen multiple versions of you. The Kieran who fiercely detested her oppressors and took the decision to live her life the way she wanted to into her own hands. A woman who gifted me a night I'll never forget, just for a chance to feel like her life was her own to deal with."

My cheeks heated at the memory of our first night together as a deep, pulsing need unfurled within me. It yearned to know exactly how different it would be now that he was in his true form.

"After that, I saw the angel who was tired of taking Alfemir's shit, and instead chose to believe in herself. She took her fate into her own hands and took the scariest leap of faith to exist."

I swallowed harshly, remembering the anguish I'd felt at leaving my mother behind after realizing the true depth of the abuse my father doled out. I hoped with everything in me that she found the strength to leave as well.

"I didn't think you could be more stunning and inspiring than you were then," he breathed out before kissing my hands again. "And then I watched you navigate a new world around you, handling some really hard truths that turned your own world upside down. Throughout it all, there was an air of grace and assurance about you, something that showed that you could handle anything that came at you. I was in awe of you."

"But then?" I questioned as my shoulders fell slightly, wondering if the strength of his feelings for me had dimmed.

He lifted a hand to grip my chin, staring down at me with so much adoration that heat puddled in my core. "But then I saw the way you fought to protect this rebellion—and all of us—with a fierceness that spoke to your strength of heart and spirit. It's never easy to take lives, and if you have a kind heart, it will never feel good. No matter the circumstances. I watched the way you tried your best to hold it all together, and then I heard the way you let yourself fall apart this morning in private, not wanting to burden anyone else, I'm sure."

My lips parted at the realization he'd heard my sobs.

"And I finally realized that I've fallen more in love with each version of you I've been lucky enough to see, Kieran. So no, the blood on your hands doesn't bother me, because it's a testament to your strength and softness all at once. The two sides of your heart make you the woman I love."

"Gabe," I breathed out as tears sprang to my eyes. I tried to lift my hands to brush them away as the tears fell, but he batted them away. Instead, he leaned in to kiss each wet cheek before pulling back, the intensity of his affection for me shining through his beautiful eyes.

"Don't hide this side of yourself from me, Kieran," he demanded softly, before lifting a finger to wipe them. "If you remember, I also swore to worship your scars. I didn't just mean the physical ones."

All I could do was nod, the memory of the vow he gave me that night striking me hard and true. The tears continued to fall as I really soaked in his words and the truth of how he saw me.

My voice cracked as I attempted to answer, "Gabe, I—I…"

Pulling me tightly to him and tucking my head under his, he cut me off. "Don't say anything. I just wanted you to know how I felt. If last night did anything, it really put into perspective the fact that we may not have forever together like we hoped. I couldn't keep all that in, knowing it might go to the grave with me."

I peeked up at him, absolutely in wonder of the man before me. Lifting onto my toes, I pressed my lips to his, not giving a damn about my salty tears that mixed into the kiss. I wasn't sure I had the words to say back to him, so I attempted to put all my feelings into this moment.

It was just us, standing beneath the moonlight and relishing in each other's presence and touch. Our lips moved as one, and it would have been impossible to find where one of us started and the other ended with how in sync we were. His tongue caressed mine, and I matched the action, melting further against his chest as his hands ran down my back to rest above the swell of my ass.

Fingertips dug into my skin, and I could feel the restraint slowly slipping away from him in the possessive way he held onto me. It drove me into a frenzy, wanting to feel every bit of him.

Someone cleared their throat as they passed by, abruptly snapping us out of the moment. We pulled apart, just staring at each other as our breathing came out in rapid pants. He glanced at the back of the man who passed us before looking back at me. Silence followed for a few seconds before he cracked a smile that had a giggle bubbling out of me. Soon enough, we were belly laughing and holding hands as we continued our walk home.

As we walked through the door, my heart felt full and thankful for the direction my life had taken, and for all those who had come into it lately.

"That's not fair!" Bastian yelled, filling the home with playful energy as we entered the living room.

"You just said you didn't want to give up your room," Ronan rumbled in return.

"I'd happily give it up, if it meant spending a night with Kieran," he defended, throwing his hands in the air as we turned the corner to find the scene before us. "You didn't state the full terms of the agreement!"

Steele sat at his spot at the dining room table, drinking a beer in silence as he watched the two of them go back and forth.

Suddenly, a streak of black and green came barreling toward me. My eyes widened and my lips split into a full grin as I squealed, "Niz! You're awake!"

Gabe passed by me as I cuddled the little wyvern to my chest, scratching beneath his chin that he stretched up for me. "Who is the cutest little wyvern in the world?" I found myself cooing at him. There was just something about this adorable little form that had me melting into a puddle every time. Then it hit me that he was actually an exceptionally large and intimidating man, and I faltered.

He flew up onto my shoulder before headbutting my cheek affectionately. I snickered, knowing he was trying to get a snout kiss. He had to have observed that I wasn't very physically affectionate with any of the guys in front of the others yet, but he'd always had a surplus of my attention in this form. Talk about using everything you had to your advantage.

"Are you going to stay in this form?" I asked, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. He enthusiastically nodded before Ronan elaborated.

"Apparently, it's easier and faster for him to heal in this form. It takes less energy to fuel a smaller body, and as a wyvern, their healing properties are advanced."

I nodded before dropping a quick kiss to his snout that had him producing a sound from his throat that I swear was nearly a purr. I decided at that moment that I couldn't help myself—the snout kisses were going to continue even if he was a shape-shifting wyvern who was secretly a massive, incredibly sexy man.

"So, care to enlighten me as to what was being discussed when I walked in and why it has something to do with my bed?"

"There's now one extra person in the home to accommodate but not another bedroom to go around," Steele muttered before taking a swig of his beer. His eyebrows rose as he breathed out, "I reminded them that there's a whole couch down here, but apparently that isn't good enough."

Gabe joined him at the table with his own beer and a new one for Steele. "I mean, I understand the need for us all to have our own spaces to decompress in occasionally."

"Niz graciously offered to stay in your room," Ronan announced dryly, "before turning into this form."

I shrugged, scratching under Niz's chin. "I don't mind. It's not like he takes up a lot of room."

Bastian jumped out of his chair, hands flying through the air as he huffed. Honestly, the indignation was a little cute. "But that's not fair! We all want time for cuddles."

I see. I resisted the very real urge to pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh, understanding the debacle now. Since Niz was also now known to be a warm-blooded man, time needed to be appropriately split with me in private, according to the others.

"Did you all think about the fact that maybe Kieran might want nights to herself as well, instead of assuming she'd be comfortable sharing a bed with any of us?" Gabe questioned, earning a grunt from Steele.

"I tried to point that out."

Steele, pointing out boundaries I might have? Lightning was going to strike me at any moment now, I swear.

"There are seven days in a week," Bastian defended, "and only five of us. That leaves two days for her to have alone." His eyes cut to me as he smiled sheepishly. "If that's okay with you, Darling."

My cheeks immediately flamed, and I knew a blush stained them. I refused to glance over at Steele. Was he…included in this? Did he say he'd take turns in my bed too?

I let out a sigh, not truly caring about sharing my bed. I had been struggling to find a way to equally spend time with each of them alone anyways, so maybe this was the perfect solution.

"Can you guys just figure out the schedule between yourselves?" I questioned, glancing between them all. "I don't want to be involved in that battle."

Before the last word was even out my mouth, Bastian was yelling, "I'm first! I'm first!"

Niz growled on my shoulder at him, causing the Archimage to put a hand up to his forehead, making an 'L' symbol with his fingers. Clearly, they were fast friends.

How were these men perceived as both deadly and feared outside of these walls when the second we were in private, I was surrounded by children who couldn't share their toys?

I bit my lip, trying to hold my smile back. I wouldn't change a single thing about them.