Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I land on my balcony, hurry through the door into my quarters, and lock it behind me. My heart hammers against my chest as I sink down to the floor.

What am I doing ? I know my feelings for Kyle are strong. Stronger than I have ever felt toward any male before. Why does this keep happening with Amaros?

I am certain that even if Kyle didn’t exist, there can be nothing between Amaros and me. He is my father’s first guard. Hell, he’s currently my first guard. That alone is forbidden. It occurs to me he is probably right. My father will never approve of Kyle. Of me being with an angel from our enemy’s Kingdom.

But did that matter? I try to tell myself that it doesn’t, that I can be with whoever I want. But the inner voice in my head is telling me otherwise.

My throat tightens as tears sting my eyes. For the first time, I regret being the King’s daughter. I spend the next ten minutes letting my emotions run wild, hoping it will clear my mind and allow me to better hold myself together. When I stand, I notice a gold gown laid out across my bed.

I wipe my eyes as I curiously cross the room to my bed and see there’s a note sitting next to the dress. It reads, Your mother would want you to wear this to the ball. Love, Lissian .

I squeeze my eyes closed. Shoot, I completely forgot about the ball tonight. It’s an annual event within our Kingdom that draws hundreds of high-class angel families. It’s an evening of glamour and gossip that takes centre place on the social calendar within our Kingdom.

I have always loved dressing up for it and spending the night dancing with Lacinda, but tonight feels different. The sadness festering deep in my heart won’t go away, and I fear no amount of dancing can expel it. I close my eyes and try to connect with Kyle, but I’m met with silence, as if our bond never existed. How am I to go to a ball when he is out there somewhere, injured? Or worse… No, I am not going there.

Wherever he is, I have to believe that he is okay. There will be a valid reason I’m unable to sense him. Maybe he’s in Zarquon. Em and Klara knew where to find him, and they located him before when he used his powers. Is he with Em? The thought sends a pang of jealousy radiating through me and into my heart.

Regardless of who he is with, all that matters is that he’s okay. He has to be. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and place the note down.

The dress sparkles in the dim glow from the fire, and I can’t help but glide my fingers over the delicate fabric of the dress. I don’t recall seeing this one in her wardrobe, but then again, she had far too many to remember. It reminds me of the golden gown she was wearing earlier when I visited her. Gods, I miss her already.

I spend the next half an hour showering, and when the water cools, I step out and towel myself off. The mirror is foggy, and I dry it off and stare at my reflection. My forest-green eyes stare back at me, and I recall something from my mother’s journal. She mentioned my eyes are the same as my father’s, but his eyes aren’t green, are they?

There’s a knock at the door, disrupting my thoughts, and I tighten my towel around myself as I hurry to answer it. I open it to see Lissian standing before me wearing a gorgeous pale-blue gown.

“Hi, dear, I wanted to check on you and make sure you got your mother’s gown I had delivered,” she says, looking past me to the bed where the gown is laid out.

I glance behind me. “I did. It’s beautiful,” I say and then gesture to her. “Gosh, you look amazing.”

She swirls her dress around to show it off. “I know,” she says with a wink. “Would you like some help to get ready?”

“I think I can manage. Thanks though,” I say.

It’s kind of her to offer, but in the mood I’m in, I need to be alone so I can try to clear my head before the social onslaught.

She gives me a nod but lingers in the doorway, and I can tell there’s something more to her visit.

“Was there something else?” I ask.

She leans in close. “How did you get on in the Great Library looking into fallen angels? I haven’t asked you since our talk.”

I gesture for her to come into my room and then close the door. “I did it. It wasn’t easy, but I harnessed the dark magic and restored his wings.” I hold my hands up to stop her from interrupting and quickly add, “Before you worry, it’s fine. It was perfectly safe, and it worked. Kyle has his wings back.”

She presses her lips together and reaches out to stroke my arm. “I won’t lie and say I am thrilled to hear how you restored them, but I am happy for you both. I am sure it meant the world to Kyle.”

I give her hand a squeeze. “Thanks, Lissian.”

She moves toward the door. “Very well, then. I shall see you at the ball.”

Once she’s gone, I head back into my bathroom and dry my hair. I’m stepping into my mother’s gown when there’s a knock at the door again, and I can’t help but smile. I pull the gown up over my chest and hold it in place as I shuffle over to answer it.

“I don’t need any help—” My heart leaps in my chest when I see Rimel and Yimel, and their eyes trace down my body. Feeling uncomfortable with being half dressed, I close the door slightly and position myself behind it.

“Zarla,” Rimel acknowledges me. “We’re here to escort you to the ball.”

That’s strange. And very unnecessary. I don’t need escorting around my castle, least of all by these creeps.

“Do you need a hand with your dress?” Rimel asks, and my skin crawls.

I bite my lip and try not to show how much that offer unsettles me. “Ah, no thanks, I’ve got it.”

He shoves the door open, causing me to stumble back, and I stare at him in shock.

“Don’t be silly,” he says in a condescending tone. “I know how tricky those things can be.”

I back up as he moves closer, his six-foot-four frame towering over me.

Yimel steps inside after him and closes the door.

My stomach drops. I glance down to see my ring glowing red and mentally prepare myself to use my powers.

“Are you afraid of me?” Rimel asks.

I swallow hard. “No,” I lie, “but I said I don’t need help. Please leave.”

He ignores me, takes my upper arms, and spins me around.

I brace my hands against the wall as my mind races, and I try to think of what to do next. Gods above, if he touches me, I’m going to blast him with my power.

His fingers are rough against my skin as he pulls at the gown, fastening the small buttons together from the top down. He lingers when he reaches my lower back, tracing his calloused fingers across my skin, and I fight the urge to throat punch him.

Once he’s fastened the last button, I spin around to face him. My entire body is shaking as I stare at him, trying desperately to hide my fear.

He stares down at me through dark, hooded eyes and licks his bottom lip. “All done.”

I swallow hard. “Please leave. I’m not ready yet, and I don’t require an escort.”

His lips twitch. “You don’t think we take orders from you now, do you? It was Amaros who requested that we escort you. We will wait outside.”

I wait till they’re gone before I show the anger I am feeling, slamming my fist against the wall. How dare he. Just because my father instructed Amaros to be my guard didn’t give him the right to bail out and instead send these creeps to do his job.

I storm across the room and catch myself in the full-length mirror, and gasp. I look so much like her. My mother. A warmth settles inside me, helping to calm me as I finish getting myself ready. I tie my hair in a high ponytail and plait it in a long braid over one shoulder, then apply some makeup. When I’m done, the green of my eyes appears more vibrant, and I fasten a gold necklace with green stones around my neck.

There’s a knock at the door, and I reluctantly answer it to find the creepy twins waiting for me. My stomach turns at the way they look me over. I tell them to give me a minute, then slam the door, remembering I forgot my daggers. There is no way I’m going anywhere with those two without my daggers. After I have strapped them to my thighs, I open the door once more, ignoring them both as I move past and head down the corridor.

Rimel hurries to catch up and grabs my wrist. “Not so fast, Zarla. I will lead the way.”

I yank my hand back, and he walks ahead as Yimel lingers behind me.

It takes a good five minutes to reach the Great Hall, and when we do, I immediately spot Hethenos. She eyes me suspiciously as we approach, and I try to contain my anger. Seeing her after everything I have learnt is difficult, and I have to force myself not to give away how angry I am with her.

“Zarla,” she says, “both twins, I see.” Her attention shifts to the twins as frustration twists at her features, and she arches a brow at them. “Harlum told me that the two of you would escort me to the ball.”

Not feeling like listening to this nonsense, I sidestep her and head into the ball, thankful that the two creeps don’t follow me in. I spot Lissian talking with a group of females, and once her eyes meet mine, she drops the conversation and hurries to my side with her arms stretched out wide.

“Oh my, Zarla, you look exquisite. And that dress. Absolute perfection, my dear,” she says before glancing over my shoulder to Hethenos. “Well done, Zarla. That can’t have been easy.”

I shoot her a tight-lipped smile. “Thanks.”

My focus shifts to the other angels nearby, and I pick at my fingernails, feeling suddenly self-conscious that most angels in the near vicinity are staring at me. Great. The last thing I want is to be the centre of attention right now.

“Ah, Amaros.” Lissian smiles, and I just about pull a muscle in my neck from turning so fast.

He laughs as he approaches, wearing a sleek black tux, white shirt, and white tie. He looks good. I glance away, trying not to stare.

As my father’s first guard, and of course mine for now, Amaros is head of security for the ball. Because there will be plenty of guards around, he’s able to attend the ball personally.

“May I have a moment with Zarla?” he asks, placing his hand on the small of my back.

The feeling ignites something inside me, and I quickly step away from him to break the contact.

Lissian narrows her eyes at us. “Sure. I’ll find you later, Zarla,” she says and then leaves us to it.

I fold my arms across my chest.

“Are you mad at me?” he asks once we’re alone.

“Yes, but mostly because you sent the creepy twins to my quarters. I don’t like them, Amaros, nor do I trust them, and I certainly don’t feel comfortable being alone with them in my room.”

He grits his teeth as his nostrils flare. “They went inside your quarters?”

“Yes. And I didn’t like it, and I didn’t even allow it. Rimel wouldn’t take no for an answer and insisted he help fasten my dress.” I glance around to see several angels watching us, chatting in hushed voices.

“I’m sorry. I will have a word with them,” he says as his gaze drops to my dress. “You look stunning, by the way.”

I hold my hand up, ignoring his compliment. “Fine. But let them know that they are not to go near me or my quarters again. Next time, I will use my powers to defend myself.”

I storm away from him and the audience we gathered then head over to the bar to get a drink. It’s crowded with angels who just witnessed my little scuffle with Amaros, but I pretend not to notice or care and instead order a drink. The keeper slides a bubbly over to me, and I take it then move across the room to a far corner with a small empty standing table.

My focus shifts to the decorations, which never cease to amaze me. Lavish displays of dried leaves and flowers decorate the Great Hall, and angels fly above in a coordinated dance near the impossibly high ceilings. A band is playing on a stage in the centre of the dance floor, and there are angels dancing together to the slow music. It’s quite beautiful.

Whoever is responsible for these decorations is truly talented.

I’m halfway through my drink when I spot Kastal and Nethelia Kallis heading my way. Finlay’s parents.

Gods above, I had been so caught up in everything that happened with my mother and then Amaros that Finlay’s sentencing completely slipped my mind. Our bond is well and truly severed now, and I know without a doubt he will be down on Earth, living as a human without a clue who he really is.

“Zarla,” Kastal greets me, and his wife gives me a small smile that doesn’t touch her eyes.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard her speak. I notice deep bruising on her neck that she’s trying to hide with her hair. The rumours about his violence toward her seem more plausible now than ever before, and I pretend not to notice.

“Mr. Kallis,” I reply, “I am sorry about Finlay. He didn’t deserve it.”

Nethelia glares at me as unshed tears spill down her cheeks. “No, he did not. And you could’ve done something about it, but you chose to remain silent and not give testimony. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Kastal roughly grabs her upper arm and whispers something in her ear, and she leaves. “I’m sorry about that.”

My eyes widen, and I shake my head. “No need to apologise. She’s right. Sort of.”

Crap. I shouldn’t have said that last bit.

“Sort of?” he says, settling his forearms on the small round stable I’m standing at.

I need to be careful with my words. The last thing I want to do is piss him off, a high-ranking angel on The Throne, and a violent one at that.

“Finlay had his demons,” I say, “but for the most part, he was a good second. I don’t know why he brought watchers down to Earth to attack Kyle and me, but I don’t think it was his own doing.”

Understanding crosses his features, and he runs a hand over his blond hair, smoothing it to the side. “And you feel whoever was involved would have been at the sentencing, and so you needed to remain silent.”

I nod. As difficult as it was to allow this to happen to Finlay, what choice did I have? All I can do now is let his father know about my suspicions, and do my best to figure out what happened. Whoever is behind this is still out there, and their motives are a serious threat, not just to Kyle and me, but to our entire Kingdom.

“Thank you for letting me know. I am a powerful angel, Zarla. There are few who would dare to cross me.”

He is right, which only makes my suspicions even more dangerous. It has to be an angel even higher than he. Someone who has little to lose.

I scan the angels in the hall and settle on Hethenos. As if sensing it, her eyes meet mine, and I quickly look away before Kastal notices.

If Hethenos truly is behind all of this, what better way to silence both Kyle and me than to get to my second and use something against him to force his hand? To force him to do her dirty work? With Finlay’s reputation, no one would question it. And no one has. It makes sense to every angel in our Kingdom that Finlay turned on me. It’s in his nature.

I remember Kastal is still at my side and take another sip of my drink, masking my conclusions.

He raps his knuckles on the table as he straightens up to leave. “I trust you will let me know if you can think of anything else that would be helpful. I think we both know Finlay may have been a spoilt brat, but he was no killer. He did not act alone.”

I brush my hands down my dress, smoothing out the non-existent creases. “I will.”

He leaves me, and I finish my bubbly as angels chatter amongst themselves, no doubt crafting up ludicrous stories about Kastal and me, Amaros and me, and whatever else they can concoct.

I am thankful Kastal doesn’t blame me for what has happened to his son, and I feel hopeful knowing he is somewhat on my side.

I jump as Demetros appears next to me, and I pull him in for a hug.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says.

My lips tug into a wide smile, and I realise just how much I need a friend right now.

“What was that about?”

I shake my head. “Finlay,” I say as I glance around. “Where’s Lacinda?”

He leans against the table and slips his other hand into his pocket. “She’s my second, remember? She had to stay down on Earth with all the other seconds who are down there tonight,” he says, looking around the room.

He’s more right than I think he meant to be. Seeing my expression, he realises what he’s said.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. How you holding up?”

Tears well in my eyes, and I look at him. “This well,” I say, laughing a little. “Finlay didn’t deserve that.”

He reaches his hand out. “Come dance with me. You look like you could use a little fun.”

I wipe underneath my eyes, trying my best not to smudge my makeup, and place my hand in his. “Is it that obvious?”

He squints his eyes at me and pinches his fingers in the air. “Just a bit.”

Demetros leads me over to the dance floor, and I rest my head against his chest as he slowly moves us to the music. I feel as though I’m being watched, and when I look up, I spot Amaros staring at me from across the room. He doesn’t look impressed. Too bad. I can dance with whoever I damn well please.

And then I spot Astelle heading for him in a tight, red lacy dress that grazes her ankles. It’s strapless, highlighting her cleavage, and I have to admit she looks stunning. She greets Amaros with a kiss on his cheek, and he snakes his arm around her waist, leading her to the dance floor.

That pang of jealousy returns, and I shove it back down. I will not be jealous of the two of them together. Amaros can do whatever he likes. It’s not my concern.

His eyes meet mine, and I can see from his expression that he would rather it were me pressed up against him.

And then it dawns on me that there’s something I have been meaning to ask Demetros about.

“So,” I say, refocusing my attention on him, “what’s going on with you and Lacinda?”

He looks down at me, his forehead creased into a frown as if he has no clue what I am referring to.

“Come on. I’m not blind. I see the way the two of you look at one another.”

He breaks eye contact and takes a deep breath, moving us across the dance floor to an area with fewer angels to eavesdrop on our conversation.

“Is it really that obvious?” he asks.

I laugh. “Yes, to me, at least. So, what’s the deal, then?”

His expression shifts, and happiness floods his features. “We’re together,” he says, before quickly adding, “secretly, for now, so don’t say a word.”

I break contact as I leap with excitement, and he grabs my hands again.

“Sorry,” I say.

“We’re both happy. It’s just…my parents can be difficult. They have expectations of me.”

Is he seriously referring to the fact that she’s a second? Because that shouldn’t matter one bit.

“Don’t give me that look. You know damn well it matters, especially when you’re from a high-class angel family. But don’t for a second think it bothers me, because it doesn’t.”

I arch my brows and nod, shocked but also impressed at how quickly he’s willing to defend their relationship, even to me. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything. And I do understand. Kyle is from our enemy Kingdom. That’s like the pinnacle of being frowned upon.”

He gives me a cheeky smirk. “Looks like we’re just a couple of rebels, then, huh?”

I laugh as Amaros and Astelle dance toward us.

“May I cut in?” Amaros asks, and Astelle shoots him a death stare.

Demetros looks at me in question, but when I don’t respond, he passes me off to Amaros, takes Astelle’s reluctant hands, and twirls her away across the dance floor.

Amaros places his hand on my lower back and tugs me close against him just as the music switches to a faster tune. All the angels form a circle around the dance floor facing their partner and dance to our Kingdom’s most beloved dance. Amaros spins me around him in a circle, then takes my hands and leads me quickly across the dance floor before I am handed off to the male angel next to me.

Amaros keeps his eyes on me as we dance with our new partners, before switching back. His ice-grey eyes are glued to mine as we step, spin, and dance our way around the floor. The song eventually ends as he dips me back and holds me there, his lips inches from mine. I know he isn’t about to kiss me in front of other angels. His lips hover over mine for a moment before he swiftly pulls me up again.

I breathe rapidly while the music changes to a slow song next, and without asking, he pulls me against his chest once more.

“I’m sorry about this evening. I assumed you wouldn’t want to see me, so I sent the twins instead.”

I don’t respond, still pissed that he would do that to me.

“Did something happen?” he finally asks.

I move back a little to look up into his eyes. “Not really. They scared me, though. They came into my quarters, uninvited, and closed the door. Rimel… I don’t know. I just don’t trust him. I did not like him touching me.”

He tenses. “I will make sure that never happens again. You have my word. I should have been there. I would have enjoyed helping you.”

I don’t miss the hidden meaning in his words, and although it should bother me, it doesn’t. He glides his hand down my back, tracing his fingers across my bare skin. I shiver at his touch and abruptly step back.

His brows crease together. “I’m sorry.”

“You can’t touch me like that in front of everyone,” I whisper and hurry off across the dance floor away from him.

He shouldn’t touch me like that ever, but the real reason it bothers me so much is because I enjoyed it. What is wrong with me?

I look back to find him watching me. Gods above, this is bad.