Chapter 14

That nightwe curl up in bed and drift off to sleep.

Later, a chilly breeze brushes my backside and wakes me up. I feel the space beside me is empty. I guess he couldn’t sleep, but I get this nagging thought in my brain. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back and all that. I’ve always been curious. It’s like my brain holds onto something, and it will keep nagging at me until I find all the answers.

Alex is probably upstairs where I’m not allowed to go, but he said he gave me all of his secrets. I want to love him. I want to trust him. My head and my heart are at war with each other, but my head wins out. Slipping out of bed, I’m determined this time to find out who he’s talking to up there. Tiptoeing my way to the door, I look out in the hallway and see that the coast is clear.

I’m going to catch him in the act. I feel insane. This house of secrets is making me hate myself. All the doubt that clouds my mind, it’s insufferable. Do I love him, does he not love me, and what else is he keeping from me? All these things race through my mind.

Making it to the set of stairs that leads to the third floor, I remember the step that gave me away last time. Mentally take note to miss that step this time. I go at a light but steady pace, and I make it to the top with no cracks or squeaks. I want to jump up in victory, but I’ll do that safely in our room later. You know, if he doesn’t try to kill me first.

The air up here is musky and smells as if something died up here. There must be rodents. I continue down the hall, looking in the rooms as I pass. They’re all mostly empty besides a few old pieces of furniture. It almost feels like a storage space up here. The further I go the smell gets worse.

I cover my nose with my shirt because it’s so bad. I get to the last door, and it’s cracked open, and I see a figure standing in the doorway. It scares me at first, but his back is to me. I ease the door open simultaneously reaching out for Alex.

“Hey, I was looking for you. Why did you leave?”

The figure falls to pieces in my hands. What the hell. Looking down, I see that it’s a mannequin made to look like Alex. Wearing his clothes and a wig, and a scar is drawn on his face.

A whisper from the bed: “Heeeellllpppp ... mmmeee...”

I’m so scared. I’m shaking. I stand up slowly, looking toward the bed. There’s a woman there. A shell of herself. Her body is withered and pruned. The more I look, the more I see, and I cover my mouth from the scream that wants to escape.

Her legs are cut off to nubs and maggots are writhing in the open sores. She reaches out a hand that looks like bone covered in gray crêpe paper. I can’t help the tears that fall from my eyes.

She breathes out the words, “Kill me.”

Is this the love he mentioned before? A silent sob escapes me as the tears fall. I never thought he’d take what little piece of my sweet soul I had left. At this moment, it feels like I’m ripping the wings off a butterfly.

I grab the pillow beside her and press it over her face. I’m crying. I feel so much pain in my heart, but death is better, I keep telling myself. Her body thrashes around with more strength than I thought she’d have, and I press the pillow down hard. When she stops moving, I pull the pillow off and sink to the floor with my head in my hands.

This. This is the last straw. I can’t take this anymore. His cruelty shows no bounds. What am I going to do?

Nicci,I pray. Please give me your strength. I need you now more than ever.

“Will you stop playing with the flowers?” She sits next to me in our co-op gardening class.

“But they are so pretty.”

“They will cause you to have a rash if you touch them with your bare hands.”

“But I love them.”

“You would find the most dangerous flower the most beautiful.”

Always so beautiful, hiding their true nature from the unsuspecting. I smile at the memory of Nicci saying that, because I always did have a thing for the dark and dangerous.

Then the realization hits me like a truck hitting me right in the face. Inhaling sharply: “The flowers.”

I run to our room, missing the squeaky steps on the way down. Our room. Our room. Our room. When did this start becoming our room? I feel fury lighting a fire within me. I spot the beautiful blue flowers on the nightstand and snatch them up.

I’m on a mission now to get the fuck out of here. I just need to knock Alex out. Once I’m in the kitchen, I grab his whiskey and pour myself a drink. I squeeze the flowers for all their worth. Risking all the rashes in the world to get out of here. Drops of the flowers’ juices land in the whiskey bottle. I throw the remains of the crushed flowers away and wash my hands in the hopes that it will lessen the rash.

I take my seat and wait.