Chapter 19

When I'd been looking for a notepad the other day, I found a stack of visitor maps from Bouchard Gardens that looked to be at least twenty years old. They were carefully stacked and tucked away in the back. Just like the books and toys, he'd kept them for a reason. It was time for him to go back.

Then, for the first time in a while, we both had a weekend off together. It was the perfect opportunity to woo my man because if any man needed to be wooed, it was him. Step one was to get his lazy bones up. Like the books and toys, Beckett would only have kept them if they meant something.

I woke up extra early on this blessedly dry autumn day and snuck down to the bakery downtown for some fresh doughnuts and coffee. Next, I stopped at the gas station to fill up and pointedly ignored a few good-natured smirks from a few officers getting their morning fix.

I'd seen most of the force at one time or another in the ER at the hospital. It would be stupid to think his coworkers wouldn't gossip about Beckett dating someone when he was the guy who never dated anyone. Ever. Anyway, it didn't matter because I knew I had a fucking catch in Beckett, and I had no intention of letting him go.

The job offer from Portland loomed on the horizon. I knew we should talk about it, and I wanted to be in a spot where it was something Beckett and I would discuss together. It was an outstanding offer, and I wasn't foolish enough to think it would be extended to me indefinitely or that I'd ever get another one like it again. Social work was high on potential do-gooder feels but low on the compensation scale.

The inheritance from my grandparents was the only reason I had the option of turning it down. Their gift allowed me to leave Chicago, move to the Pacific Northwest, and then the island without any school loans.

The balance of the inheritance was in the bank, waiting for something important enough to spend it on. I liked my little rented cottage, even if I was a shit decorator, and I didn't need anything bigger. I loved my outdoor space. It was the perfect place to entertain friends during the summer. Hell, I like that Beckett had liberated my houseplants from their death sentence. I loved my life on the island.

This time with Beckett was chef's kiss. This relationship was the missing piece of me. All my previous failed relationships had led me to this man. There wasn't a reason to deny it when I saw Beckett on his knees for me, when he called me Daddy,and when he let me care for him, it made me feel ten feet tall.

The trust and faith Beckett had in me when he let me see the sides of him that no one else saw was humbling. He was so strong, mentally and physically, but Beckett was soft for me. He called me Daddy and let me protect him from the assholes in his family. He could be the one. I'd never been in love, but I'd been in like and in lust, and neither of them had felt like this.

My wayward thoughts carried me home, and I crept back inside Beckett's house. I intended to surprise him before he got up, but he was in the kitchen about to start a pot of coffee when I came in the back door.

"Goddammit, Daddy. You left the house unlocked." Beckett stalked over to me and loomed over. "You know that's fucking dangerous. Crime can happen. Mr. McCade didn't think he needed to lock his fucking house either."

Shit.This was not on my Bingo card for the day.

"Sweetheart, you're absolutely right. I shouldn't have left it open. I wanted to surprise you, but that's not a reason to be unsafe. I didn't think burglars would prowl around at eight in the morning, but that's not the point…" I hastily added when I saw that my attempt at a joke didn't land. I really was contrite. After trivia night, I knew how he felt about unlocked doors. "I should have woken you up and asked to borrow your keys. I'm sorry."

Beckett growled something I didn't catch before he enveloped me in a smothering bear hug. He completely ignored my super manly squeaks and just squeezed tighter. My feet weren't even on the floor anymore.

When he let me down, he gave me an indecipherable look before he released me and strode over to a drawer in the kitchen. He yanked it out with considerably more force than necessary. He rummaged around until he pulled something from far in the back. He slammed the drawer shut before he turned back around to me.

With an honest-to-God glower, he stomped back and said, "Here, use this." Beckett grabbed my wrist and dropped a key into my outstretched hand.

My fingers curled around the key while Beckett continued to glare at me. This is where most people chalked up his facial expression to asshole and moved on. But I knew him. He wasn't angry. He was worried and anxious about my safety. I raised onto my toes and balanced myself with my hands on his chest. My lips brushed a soft kiss against Beckett's lips.

"You have every right to be angry with me, sweetheart. Are you sure you're comfortable giving me a key?" His scowl deepened at my words.

"Yeah. I gave it to you, so I must be okay with it." His defensive tone was his shield, but I was his Daddy.

"You're right. Phew! I am messing up all over the place today." I gave him one more kiss, this time with tongue, because I could. "Sweetheart, we need to get our butts moving. We have plans. Plans I will tell you about when we get in the car. Well, this is gonna give it away, but do you have an enhanced license that will get you into Canada? Or a passport?"

Beckett looked suspicious but nodded. "Yeah, my license."

"Perfect! Get dressed, big guy, we got shit to do." I shoved a cup of coffee into one of Beckett's hands and a doughnut into the other. "Here's your breakfast. Make your shower quick so we don't miss our window."

Beckett grumbled but did what he was told. Because he could get showered and dressed much faster than I could even pick a shirt, we were out the door, on the ferry, and on the mainland in just over an hour. Beckett accepted my refusal to tell him where we were going exactly but headed north to Port Angeles since that was the closest ferry to Canada.

Snuggled into the passenger seat of his truck, I had plenty of time to think about how perfect Beckett was for me. He was protective in all the right ways, like making sure I was safe by keeping my doors locked—and I wouldn't screw that one up again—and he insisted he drive every time we went somewhere. I told him I was capable of driving, but he said he'd had a lot more training.

It wasn't a control thing. It was a safety thing. After he told me, I never tried to take the wheel. If his anxiety could be alleviated, no matter how small the gesture, I was willing to do it. He double-checked my seatbelt every time we went somewhere, and I swooned every time.

But when it came to our relationship? That was all me. He let me fuss over his eating habits to make sure they were healthy options, not just fast food or takeout. He was perfectly capable of getting himself to bed but didn't argue when I said he needed proper sleep.

He'd started letting me run interference between him and the world. I knew how much peopling took out of him. If I could handle the world, and he could regulate himself at home, then that was what I would do. Except for Penelope. Beckett would never want to hide away from her because they'd bonded strong and fast. Which reminded me of Alyssa's text the day before.

"Oh, before I forget again, Penelope asked her mom if you guys could have a play date again soon." I chuckled at the thought. Beckett might be into the Daddy/boy dynamic, but he wasn't a little. The tips of his ears reddened, and a familiar frown appeared.

"Anytime she wants. She liked the library and wanted a tea party there. We didn't have time for it last time." I nodded and reached over to clutch his hand.

He appreciated silence, especially when he'd shown any part of himself and needed to regroup. I only nodded and laced our fingers together. I'd make arrangements for a get-together. Alyssa said she'd never seen Penelope so excited and asked if Beckett was for hire. I told her I doubted he'd accept payment, but I was pretty sure he'd watch Penelope anytime she wanted or needed.

It was beyond me how this man could ever think he wouldn't be a wonderful father. He was made for it. Any child would be lucky to have him, and any man would be blessed to be his partner. Every day we spent with each other, I fell harder for him. I wasn't ready to use the L-word aloud, but it was getting harder to swallow it down.

Which led me back to Portland and a conversation I wasn't ready to have yet. I couldn't fathom walking away from Beckett, but I would never get another job offer like this in the social work field. It was a lightning strike, and it wouldn't be repeated. I knew I didn't need the pay raise, but who wouldn't want such a tremendous jump in salary? Did I need more than I had right now?

There was no way Beckett would go with me. This island was his home and his—hell, I didn't know—touchstone? Even if he came with me, his retreat and his connection to the two non-assholes, Jonas and Cap, in his family couldn't be replicated in a soulless apartment complex near Portland's medical center area. What Beckett had and what he needed would always remain on the island. If I left, I left alone.

"Where are we going?" Beckett's quiet voice interrupted my internal discussion just as we crossed into the city limits.

"Head to the ferry's park and ride, please." Beckett nodded without comment and navigated toward the harbor. We parked, bought our tickets, cleared the immigration checkpoint, and loaded onto the ferry for the forty-five-minute ride.

The sea was calm today, so my open-water queasiness was kept to a minimum, but Beckett kept me hauled up close to him anyway. I didn't mind snuggling close to him while we watched the ocean outside the ferry windows. The trip was uneventful, and we arrived in Victoria at about noon.

"I haven't been here since I was a kid," Beckett remarked as we made our way to the taxis lined up outside the terminal. His voice was wistful as he glanced around the downtown area with its harbor.

"You came here with your parents?" I made a sincere effort to hide my surprise.

"Oh, fuck no," Beckett snorted. "My grandparents loved the gardens, so they brought me once. I liked it too much and wasn't allowed to return."

At my quizzical look, Beckett continued, "It was spring, everything was blooming, and I came home all excited. My dad said I sounded like a fucking fairy. My grandparents kept coming, and Grandma would take pictures for me. I still have some upstairs in the library. Her plan was to replicate some of the plantings as best she could. I'm not sure if it was successful, but I appreciate that she tried. I've tried to care for the outdoor beds, but I'm a mess at it. She was always annoyed that Grandpa and I couldn't keep a garden alive. My indoor plant abilities weren't much consolation to her." Beckett laughed.

By the end of the story, Beckett was honest-to-God smiling at the memory. His pretty eyes sparkled and laugh lines showed up around his eyes. The sound of his laughter was a little rusty, like he hadn't pulled it out to look at it in a while. It was perfect, just like him.

I fucking seethed at his worthless parents. I didn't understand how two people could go out of their way to be such assholes to anyone, let alone their own kid. What is the fucking point of having kids if you were just going to shit on them? When Beckett said they only had a kid because it was what everyone expected, that made sense. Every story I heard about them made me more grateful for my parents.

We fought like all families, but I never doubted they loved me and wanted me to be happy. They weren't thrilled when I didn't return to the Chicago area after college, but they supported my decision to stay out here. If I had a kid, I wonder if they'd finally leave Chicago. They'd always said the plan was to retire somewhere warm, but I couldn't imagine they'd willingly not be around for a grandkid.

Beckett and I climbed into the taxi, and I gave the driver the address. Beckett gave me a strange look, but I only winked at him. In the back seat, Beckett and I held hands while the driver concentrated on the winding roads. The farther we got from the city, the more Beckett's countenance relaxed.

"Do you know where we are going?"

"Yeah, Daddy, I do."

I settled back next to him and gazed silently out of the window. Beckett's slight smile told me everything I needed to know.

Our afternoon was spent wandering through the maze of paths and sidewalks that covered the fifty acres of Bouchard Gardens. There were pocket gardens hidden from sight within the larger exhibits.

The leaves were every shade of gold and red, while the grass remained that beautiful verdant green that only seemed common in the Pacific Northwest. Every step we took was with our fingers entwined and our bodies pressed close.

I made Beckett take a ton of selfies with me, and he even smiled in a few of them. I didn't know if it was possible to be happier than I was at that exact moment.

Beckett, freed from whatever expectations he carried back home, was lighter here. He called me Daddy without it being in a hurried whisper. We talked about everything and nothing, from our favorite movie genres to our politics.

Without the worry of prying eyes, Beckett relaxed enough that I was allowed a glimpse at the man underneath the scowls and stony demeanor. He was touchy-feely, which blew my mind. He always had a hand on me and never ventured more than a few feet away. If I wandered off, he'd capture my hand and bring me back to him. I felt like his personal teddy bear, and I was here for it.

We had afternoon tea in the conservatory located on the grounds. I shouldn't have been surprised that Beckett could help me pick out the tea I wanted to order. He'd read a book about how tea was cultivated and ordered as many as he could find that had been mentioned in the book. He then reread it with teas on hand to taste as he went through.

"Do you think I could take a menu with me?" Beckett asked after he whipped out his phone to take pictures of the sandwiches and small treats on the tiered display in the center of our table.

"They're paper, so don't imagine they'd care that much. Why do you need one?"

Beckett's cheekbones flushed, and he squirmed in his chair. He looked everywhere but directly at me. There was no possible universe in which I would let him leave this table before I heard his reason. I arched a brow and waited him out. My patience was rewarded when he huffed out a breath and slouched in his chair.

"Remember I said that Penelope wanted a tea party the next time she came over? Since she likes plants and stuff, I thought I could try to recreate it, and I wanted to use a similar menu."

Beckett looked so embarrassed, but I'd never wanted another man more in my entire life. "Beckett, that's the wonderful, sweet, amazing, beautiful reason to take a menu. If they don"t let you take one, I'm gonna steal one for you."

The tips of Beckett's ears reddened, but there was no mistaking his radiant smile at my threats of law-breaking.

Our return across the bay was considerably worse than the trip this morning. I spent most of my time cuddled up next to Beckett, hoping against hope that I wouldn't embarrass myself by getting sick. Beckett, because he was wonderful, tucked me under his chin, rubbed my arm, and whispered soothing nothings in my ear.

I spent most of the trip just like that while practicing deep breathing. I had intended to speak with Beckett about the job opportunity, but I was far too green for that. There was a slim chance I would change my mind, but I was almost certainly going to decline the job.

Every moment I spent with Beckett made me want a hundred more. He'd said he wasn't relationship material. They might have been his words, but it was his father's voice. To my soul, I believed Beckett was falling for me just as much as I was for him. I just needed him to see it. Lucky for him, I was a patient man.

"Daddy, can I tell you something?" Beckett's deep voice rumbled in my ear.

"You can tell me anything, sweetheart."

Beckett fiddled with the collar of my jacket before the words sputtered out of him. "This might have been the best fucking day of my life." He almost sounded ashamed. "I've never… just… I mean… Fuck." Beckett finally gave up speaking and stared mulishly out the window.

Whatever intentions I'd had to talk to Beckett about the job were out of the question now. I wanted to decline the job because I wanted Beckett to want me to stay. After his declaration, now wasn't the time to have that discussion. The only thing I wanted now was to cuddle with my guy and make sure the rest of his day was what he wanted.

But surely the man who gave him the best day of his life was someone he would want something more with. Right? I hoped so.