8. Opus Aquired

They made it back to the Jeep in relatively good time, all things considered. A few of the cultists had attempted to swim after them, much to Todd's dismay, but as frantically as they had paddled—wearing their masks even in the icy water—they hadn't made much progress. It was a miles-long swim, and they faded from view alongside the rest of it now.

"Sorry for all of that," Todd whispered into Zack's ear, wishing he could reach out and grab Zack's hand. He yearned to feel those big fingers laced through his, to show him how he really felt—who he really was.

A flash of cold blue eyes peering malignantly from behind a piggy mask glinted at him from the shadows…

"I-I really needed"—Todd's teeth chattered—"that… money." He went on, forcing the shadows to abate. A deep shame overcame him at the admission. Zack remained silent, and Todd flailed uncertainly in his feelings as they drew near the shore.

And then, at last, there was a heavy squeeze on his thigh. Zack half turned, kissing Todd gently on the cheek, his lips the only warmth out on the icy water.

"You're fine, Todd." Another squeeze, gentler. "You owe me dinner though. My pick."

"Deal." Todd agreed.

And then they were at the shoreline.

"Just promise me you're not secretly one of those…whatever the fuck those guys were." And just like that, Zack was hoisting him off the jet ski, setting him carefully on the ground. Upright. Safe.

"Not that I'm aware of." Todd admitted candidly.

"Good." Zack grinned.

The tall jock whipped the replica out, tossing it gently to Todd before setting to work getting the jet ski from the water to the 4x4. Far off in the bay, Todd thought he could hear one of the cultists still screaming some sort of obscenity.

It might have just been a seagull, though.

Three hourslater and they were wheeling into COCK. Todd couldn't believe they'd pulled off the job. He still felt a rush of excitement at what they'd been through, mixed with a healthy dose of fear at what they'd seen. There had been a moment on the drive back where he had been so overcome with the thrill of the adventure he'd half hoped something might happen between them, that the fire they had ignited the night prior might reignite with renewed passion.

But Zack had been broody, quiet. Occasionally, he would smile briefly at Todd, but mostly he just busied himself with a mixture of humming and driving as they wound through the coastal forest. Todd got it. The day had been insane, and he was fine with the silence.

Viktor hadn't even bothered with contacting the pair since their initial meeting. It was apparently beneath him to follow up on their progress. They wound back along the familiar drive amongst the pines, at last emerging into the empty parking lot. And there he was, standing at the doorway of his factory: Viktor. Apparently already impatient with them.

"Didn't think you'd show!" Viktor said as they rolled to a stop.

New cape, same attitude,Todd thought direly, regarding the deep crimson silk with inordinate jealousy despite himself.

"Opus acquired," Todd announced proudly, popping open the Jeep's door and stepping out to hand it to Viktor. He was still wearing Zack's sweatshorts. Todd smiled as he held out the enormous member, feeling certain the odd little creature had looked at least twice at his outfit, much to his chagrin.

"I'd say thank you," Viktor started hastily, "but I prepaid for this assignment. And I don't tip. So don't ask for one!" And with that he grasped violently at the thing, ripping it from Todd's outstretched hands. A flourish of cape, a tap-tap of cane, and he was off, flitting back into COCK. Apparently contenting himself with an afternoon spent cloning the opus for mass distribution. Todd grimaced, imagining a bunch of people discomforting themselves with the absurd tool.

But then, to his surprise, Viktor re-emerged from the building, cane tap-tapping as he strutted back toward him. He tossed a box to Todd.

"For you, ginger. It's more than you deserve." With that, he turned and left. The strange little man was apparently done with them forever. Todd got back in the Jeep, holding the ginormous box in stunned silence.

"What do you suppose that is?" Zack asked, poking a huge finger at it.

"I might have an idea," Todd mused.

"Well…" Zack implored, seemingly willing to sit and wait here in the parking lot while Todd unboxed whatever the fuck this was. A ding on Todd's phone informed him that he'd just received the second half of his payment from Francine.

Thank. Fuck! Relief washed over him.

He grinned at Zack, looked at the box, and tore into it. To his surprise, it was the very first production replica of the absurd dildo, inscribed with a little decorative commemoration on its base. The smell of day-old hot dogs wafted up to him from the rubbery monstrosity, and Todd almost dropped it he'd begun laughing so hard.

Zack laughed heartily beside him as Todd stared at the dildo, dumbstruck by the absurdity of it. The deep baritone of his voice vibrated something far and distant and faint inside of Todd's chest. He found himself thinking at last that maybe Maine wasn't so bad after all.