7. TATE

7

TATE

I won't ask or offer ever again.

Ava's words echoed in my head like a flashing neon sign, warning me to pay attention and be wary of the danger ahead.

I always had answers. There was never a time when I felt as mixed up about what to do as I did now.

Because after making the decision to walk out and dance with Ava, staying there beyond the slow songs despite my blinding panic about it, simply because she asked me to, I was a conflicted mess.

Everything I fought against for years when it came to Ava had rushed to the surface as she danced in front of me. One unsavory vision after another flitted through my mind, and I was left frustrated that we weren't somewhere I could have her naked.

Then again, those two things were something I'd become all too familiar with—the desire to be naked with Ava, so we could both give in to our longing, and the disappointment that resulted from it never happening.

Sadly, I was the one who'd made sure we were both left feeling disenchanted.

Now, it seemed I was going to have the opportunity to make Ava being naked with me a reality. I had a decision to make— either go on pretending like she hadn't just made the offer she had and risk the possibility of never having the chance to do this with her again or walk out of this ballroom and get a keycard for her room.

This night had already meant so much to me. I could have been completely content to just be back on good terms with her. I had intended to find some time before the evening was over to talk to her. I didn't want her to leave here to head back out on tour for even another day, let alone a week, without making sure she knew how I felt and where I intended to take us when she returned.

Ava had upended those plans, but perhaps I wouldn't need to say a word to her if I showed up. Maybe that was all it would take. After years of failed attempts on her part to get us to where she demanded we go tonight, simply walking through the door and into her suite would say it all. She'd no longer have to question where I stood. And while a conversation would eventually be necessary—I believed she deserved to know why I'd held back all these years—that discussion didn't have to happen tonight.

I won't ask or offer ever again.

I was rattled.

One small part of me still wanted to do this my way, but a much bigger part realized that was no longer an option. I'd had my chance, and it hadn't gotten me anywhere good.

Ava made it clear where she stood, what she wanted. She was as serious as ever, and she wasn't interested in talking about any of it. I'd been given an ultimatum, and sixteen months of no contact told me Ava wasn't messing around anymore. She would go to great lengths to break the connection we had if I didn't come through for us now.

The only person in the equation who'd withheld and hid their feelings was me. So, I had no choice but to play this her way if I didn't want to lose her. All I had to do was show up tonight and give us what we've both wanted for years.

Unwilling to waste another second and risk losing Ava completely, I became unstuck and walked out of the ballroom toward the hotel's reception desk. Our nightshift employee was there helping another guest, so I went to one of the free computers, discovered Ava's room number, and made myself a key.

By the time I was on the elevator, I stopped thinking about everything that had happened to lead up to this moment. Instead, new sensations had washed over me. Excitement, anticipation, and curiosity about what I'd find when I walked into that room consumed me. I wondered where I'd find her and how she'd react. I allowed my mind to consider what taking this step would be like for the both of us.

When I came to a stop outside her door, I placed one hand on the handle and sucked in a deep breath. There was no turning back now.

I waved the key card in front of the lock, pressed down on the handle, and stepped inside.

As I walked deeper into the suite, I called, "Ava?"

There was no response.

I continued moving, my legs carrying me toward the bedroom. At the open doorway to the bedroom, I ground to a halt.

The air had left my lungs.

Standing at the foot of the bed, wearing a nightie that showed off more skin than it covered, was Ava. Suddenly, this became all too real.

We were going to do this. And it was that realization that had me taking a moment to pause.

All the thoughts I'd had on the elevator about things I wanted to do with and to her tonight flew out the window. This wasn't going to be planned out; it couldn't be. As I took her in, my eyes making several sweeps over her gorgeous body to ensure I didn't miss a single inch, I quickly realized the only thing I knew about where this night would lead was that I wanted to savor it, to savor her. We'd have plenty of time to explore the miles-long list I had in my head when she got back from the tour. For now, for tonight, I was going to take my time.

"I didn't think you were going to come." Ava's voice was small and unsteady. She sounded crushed, like she had fully expected to be disappointed by my inaction once again.

I had been busy focusing on the way she looked, but hearing her voice like that, such a stark contrast from what I'd become accustomed to hearing from her, my eyes shot to her face. How had I turned her down all these years? "I'm glad I could surprise you."

There was a moment of hesitation, an instance of her wondering if she could still trust this was the real deal, before she asked, "So, are we… You're not here to turn me down in person, are you?"

That stung.

Then again, I deserved it.

Ava had grown so used to me refusing her advances that this came as a bit of a shock.

Hating that I'd stolen her confidence, I decided to do something extraordinary to clear up any lingering doubts she had about my presence here. I stepped fully into the room, closed the distance between our bodies, and watched as she braced herself for what was coming.

A moment later, I hooked an arm around her waist. As I tugged her tight to me, her eyes widening slightly and her hands flying to my chest, my opposite hand drove into her hair. My eyes roamed over her face for just a few tense seconds, my gaze lingering on her slightly parted lips before I crushed my mouth to hers in a bruising kiss.

Ava was so stunned; it was as though she'd been frozen solid. But a few beats later, following a bit of coaxing with my lips, she moaned and melted into me.

And that was the moment everything changed. Though it hadn't been my intention for things between Ava and me to go this way, there was something to be said about delayed gratification.

A kiss. It was only just a kiss, and for the rest of my life, I'd never forget it. Not the way it felt to have her lips on mine, her body inching closer, her hands pressing in firmly, or her moans filling the air around us.

I tugged lightly on her hair and separated my mouth from hers. With heaving breaths, Ava and I were locked in a prolonged stare. "Does that answer your question?" My voice had dropped so low, an indication of just how much one kiss with her had impacted me.

Ava's tongue darted out to touch her lips. "I think it does."

Releasing the grip I had on her hair, I brought my hands to her hips, took half of a step back, and glanced down at her body. "This thing you're wearing is fantastic. You looked stunning in your dress earlier, but this is on another level."

A genuine smile appeared, lighting up her face and brimming with confidence. Although I didn't mind seeing a timid side to Ava, after what she'd shown me on the dance floor, it was the confident woman I'd expected to see when I walked into this room. "I was hopeful I'd get to show it to you."

"It would have been a crying shame if I missed it."

She tilted her chin up, exposing her slender neck. "Are you planning to show me your appreciation for it? You might like what's underneath it even more."

Seemingly of its own accord, my hand left her hip and wrapped around the side of her neck, my thumb resting at the front of her throat. The move caught Ava off guard for just a moment, but when she realized the effect that she was having on me, she closed her eyes and smiled.

Seeing that look, it was a miracle I held myself back any longer. "What will I find there?"

Her eyes fluttered open, a gleam in them. "I'd rather not say. I think it'd be more fun for you to discover that on your own."

Confidence and playfulness. The lightness was back in my chest, and the temptation to slide the nightie up her thighs and over her ass to reveal what was beneath was real.

"Before I do that and things get past the point of no return, are you covered with birth control?"

"Yes."

My thumb moved along the front of her throat in response, and Ava tipped her head toward my hand. With unhindered access to the opposite side, I stepped close again and leaned down to touch my lips to the skin there.

Ava's body shuddered, her knees buckling. I wrapped my arm around her waist to hold her up while my mouth explored. I kissed and nipped at the skin along the side of her throat, my tongue occasionally darting out to taste her.

I worked my way up toward her jaw, kissed along the surface of it, until my mouth was at her ear. When I pulled her lobe between my teeth, she whimpered. "Tate."

My name coming past her lips and dripping with such need, I felt like I could conquer the whole world. I released her ear, found her mouth, and stole another kiss from her, taking more than before as my tongue ran along the seam of her lips.

Ava gave me what I wanted, granting me access to explore and taste her. And while I did that, she sought to propel things forward by working her hands at my neck to loosen my tie.

We slowly undressed one another. My jacket, shirt, and tie were gone first followed by my shoes, socks, and pants. No matter how much I enjoyed seeing it on her, Ava's nightie was gone next.

She hadn't been wrong. I loved what was underneath it more than anything else.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" The words came out rough, my throat thick with emotion.

A bashful smile spread across her face. Maybe it was because she was naked in front of me for the first time, but the move was so out of character for her. Confidence had always come naturally for Ava.

She stepped close to me, her lips seeking mine. I didn't hesitate to kiss her, doing it while relishing the feel of her naked skin against mine.

Eventually, I wrapped my arm firmly around her waist, lifted her slightly, and turned to fall back into the bed, Ava's body coming over mine. Her legs dropped to either side of my hips, her mouth still connected to mine.

I took a moment to appreciate having her naked body on top of mine like that, my hands roaming over her back, along her sides, and to her ass.

But I ultimately had plans for us, for her. So, I rolled her onto her back, shifting her body farther up in the bed until her head was nearly resting on the pillows. There was something I liked even more about having Ava's body beneath mine, both her arms and legs wrapped around me.

As much as I enjoyed it, I had to lose that connection to go where I intended to go next. Tearing my mouth from hers, I pulled back slightly to take her in. Ava's lips were swollen and her skin heated.

I needed more.

I dropped my head forward again, kissing along her jaw and down the side of her throat. Continuing my descent, I brought my hands to her breasts and listened to the way she moaned. Nothing had ever sounded so sweet.

God, I felt like I'd wanted this my whole life, and I didn't want to miss a single opportunity to touch and tease and taste every single inch of her.

My mouth journeyed down her body, stopping at her breasts. I licked and sucked, moving from one side to the other. And as much as I had believed it was going to be me who enjoyed this most, Ava didn't hold back. With every swipe of my tongue or nibble of my teeth, she moaned—panted. Her hands were in my hair and on my shoulders, her fingertips pressing in, her nails biting into the flesh.

And her hips never stopped seeking. They rolled, her body squirming and writhing, searching for that pressure, that friction—anything to satisfy that ache.

No matter how hard my dick was, how badly I wanted to just be inside her, I refused to rush this. Our first time together deserved patience.

"Tate," Ava whimpered.

I lifted my head from her chest, stared up at her, and asked, "What do you need, wild one?"

Something flared in her expression, her eyes darkening. "More. You. I want to feel everything."

"You're going to have to wait to get me inside you, because I need to taste you first," I told her, my thumbs stroking absentmindedly over her nipples.

For a moment, I could have sworn I saw questions lingering in her gaze, but whatever they were, Ava never asked them. Instead, she begged, "Please, Tate. I want to feel good."

I'd never do anything to disappoint this woman again. So, I smiled at her before I dropped my mouth down to her body again and blazed a path across her abdomen, moving from just beneath one breast toward the opposite hip.

The lower I went, the more she squirmed in my hold. And the sounds coming out of her never stopped. I envisioned pulling back, lifting one of her gorgeous legs in my hand, and kissing up her legs, but I quickly decided that would have to wait for another time.

Because right now, with my face this close to her pussy, there was no way my mouth was heading anywhere else.

My lips moved from her hip and kissed along the crease at the top of her thigh. Ava's breathing was frantic. I wasn't quite sure she was going to last long enough for me to get even one taste; she sounded so close to the edge.

I slipped one arm beneath her opposite thigh, urging her leg over my shoulder, and when I brought my mouth to bite at that inner thigh, I snaked the other arm beneath the opposite leg.

Positioned perfectly between her legs, my dick like stone pressing into the mattress, I took one last look up her body and toward her face.

Ava had propped herself up on her elbows and was looking down at me. There was something wild and untamed in her expression.

I refused to make her wait another second longer. I dropped my head down and got to work. With the first swipe of my tongue, I was gone. Not only was the taste of her consuming me, but the way her hips bucked and legs trembled on either side of my head was unmistakable.

Continuing to work her with my mouth—licking, tasting, plundering—I kept one arm wrapped firmly around her thigh, my hand splayed on her lower abdomen while the other hand reached up to squeeze and play with her tits.

Ava was writhing, panting. She never stopped moaning, and her whimpers had the power to send me soaring.

Wanting to make it even better for her, wanting her to have it all, my tongue focused on her clit as I pushed one finger inside.

"Oh, God. Tate, you're incredible." Her breaths were labored. "This is better than I could have ever imagined."

I pushed a second finger inside, working up a steady rhythm in her tight, wet pussy. Fuck, I couldn't wait to have my cock inside her.

Ava's breathing grew shallow, the higher pitch of the sounds coming from her an indication she was nearly on the verge. I kept at her, and just before I sent her over the edge, I pulled my fingers from her body and replaced them with my tongue. Ava cried out, her fingers gripping my hair tightly as her orgasm tore through her.

I didn't pull back or stop until her thighs stopped trembling and her moans quieted. Then I turned my head to the side and kissed her thigh before I came over her body and found her mouth again. She tasted herself on my tongue, a guttural moan clawing its way up her throat.

Ava brought her hands to my sides and allowed them to drift down toward my hips. She reached my underwear and urged them over my ass. Tearing my mouth from hers, I pulled back and helped to remove the last remaining bit of fabric separating me from her. And when it was gone, I nearly lost my mind.

Because Ava Carson hadn't hesitated to touch me. Her fingertips were light, soft. There was such a tenderness in the way she touched me, I almost thought she was worried she'd injure me if she applied too much pressure.

Then I realized it was likely her way of indicating what she wanted moving forward. Softness, tenderness. It was a good thing I'd already planned to have it go that way.

"I need to be inside you, wild one."

Her expression darkened again, her legs dropping open. I settled myself between her thighs, used one hand to position myself, and focused my gaze on her face as I pushed in slowly.

I hadn't even made it halfway when I knew something wasn't right. I took in the look on her face, noted just how tight she was, and stopped moving. "Are you… Ava, are you a virgin?"

She moved her head ever so slightly. "Yes." I pulled back. Jesus, why hadn't she told me? "Tate, please, don't stop. I want this. I want you."

I didn't want to stop. I didn't think I could if I tried, especially not with that need and desperation dripping from her words. But I hadn't expected this. Maybe that was na?ve of me, given how she always interacted with me. How had she seduced me the way she had on the dance floor without ever having experienced this before?

Now, she was going to give this to me. She was going to be mine, and only mine.

Something else took over inside me. "I'll go slow, Ava. I won't hurt you."

Softness filtered into her expression. "I know that. Why do you think I waited for you? I've always wanted you to have this, to be the one to give this to me."

I wasn't quite sure I deserved this gift she was giving me after having denied her for so many years. Despite that, there wasn't a chance I could walk away from her now. Not when she was looking at me the way she was, not after she'd said what she just did, and certainly not after I'd just barely gotten a taste of her.

Ava was mine now. And I didn't think I'd ever let her go.

"You're so beautiful," I told her for the second time. "God, you're gorgeous."

"Tate, please," she begged.

Recognizing she wasn't interested in me taking the time to digest this precious gift she was giving me, I positioned myself once again, brought my eyes to hers, and said, "If you need me to stop?—"

"I won't. This is yours, Tate. Please take it."

Something squeezed at the center of my chest. If it hadn't been for the sense of urgency Ava seemed to have with this, I might have held back a bit longer just to fully commit that feeling to memory.

But since I knew she wasn't interested in waiting any longer, I pushed forward. I went slow, watching her expression for any signs of pain or discomfort. I hadn't gotten quite halfway when I stopped and pulled back before sinking in slowly again, going just a bit farther the second time. I did that over and over, my eyes never leaving her face, until I'd finally given her all of me.

I stayed there, planted to the root, and gave her time to adjust. "Are you okay?"

She brushed her lips lightly against mine. "I'm perfect."

"Do you want me to move?"

Her chin tipped down. "Yes."

With nowhere to be and the whole night ahead of us, I moved. But I took my time. I drew my hips back and pushed them forward with a slow, steady pace. I kissed her, touched her, and moved with her.

Despite having no experience, Ava learned quickly. Maybe it came naturally, maybe it was instinct. It could have just been her awareness of her body after years of dance that made it possible. Whatever it was, she was perfection.

And what I loved most was that she seemed to be on the precise wavelength as me. She was content for us to take our time, to savor one another. We touched, we rolled, our limbs and mouths tangling, colliding—joining.

It was a slow, steady burn between us, and it was easily the best experience of my life. We climbed that mountain, higher and higher, one touch, one kiss, one stroke at a time. And when we had finally reached the peak, I tore my mouth away, pinned my stare on her, and watched her as I pushed her over just a few slow thrusts before I went over after her.

I worked us both through to the end, feeling a connection to Ava like nobody else. And when we made it to the other side, I kissed her possessively.

"That was beautiful," she whispered.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Tears had filled her eyes as she shook her head. "Not at all. You were so gentle, Tate."

I kissed her again, this one much softer. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

"What are you doing?"

Smiling against her lips, I said, "I'm going to take care of you. Just stay put."

Whether she knew what I was planning to do or not, I didn't know. But I gave her one more kiss before I exited the bed and moved to the bathroom.

After cleaning myself up and doing the same for Ava—something that seemed to bring out her rarely seen shy side—I slid beneath the blanket with her and pulled her close.

For a while, neither one of us said a word. We both seemed content to simply hold each other, to stroke our fingertips over each other's skin.

And we kissed. That was the one thing we couldn't seem to stop doing.

Finally, my voice broke the silence. "I hope you know what this night meant to me, Ava."

She threaded her fingers through my hair. "I know. It means everything to me, too."

"I never thought we'd have this, wild one."

I felt the air rush out of her, a deep sigh of relief, perhaps. "I didn't either, but I'm so grateful for it. And I love to hear you call me that."

I knew she liked it, because I saw the way she responded every time I said it. "There's nobody else like you. There never will be."

She exhaled another breath and cuddled closer. We didn't say anymore words. We returned to the kissing and touching.

After some time, things escalated to another slow round. It was no less spectacular than the first. Perhaps, even better.

And when we finished the second time, after I'd cleaned the both of us up, I tucked Ava's body tight to mine, and we fell asleep wrapped up in one another, the way I quickly learned it should have always been.

Ava

I pressed my lips softly against Tate's.

My eyes closed, and an ache settled firmly in the center of my chest. Why had I done this to myself?

I should have slipped out of the room without giving in to that voice in the back of my head, but I'd never been the kind of girl who held back from doing what I felt compelled to do. That mindset was the only reason I was even here with him.

But the longer my lips lingered on his, the harder it became to pull away.

I only succeeded in doing that when Tate stirred and groaned at the pressure against his mouth.

"Morning, wild one." His voice was deeper than usual, and that nickname had the power to bring me to my knees.

"Good morning."

Tate glanced down at my body and noted my clothes. The sleepiness vanished, and he bolted up in the bed. "What's going on?"

I swallowed hard, doing my best to ignore the concern he had. That wouldn't make this any easier for me. "I didn't want to wake you, but I couldn't leave without kissing you goodbye."

His features softened as his hand came up to cup the side of my face. "I would have been upset if you left without waking me."

And I thought it was the only way I'd survive this. Instead of telling him that, I said, "I have to go. My plane leaves in two and a half hours."

With a quick nod, Tate replied, "Okay. Just give me five minutes, and I'll take you to the airport."

I felt like I'd waited a lifetime for Tate to treat me like that, to want to take me to the airport and see me off the way a boyfriend would for his girlfriend. But that's not what we were, and that's not what I was going to fool myself into believing we had.

We had last night. I'd cherish it for the rest of my life. But knowing he'd never give me everything I wanted with him, I wouldn't pretend to be okay with a gesture like this now.

I shook my head. "No. No, you stay in bed. I already have a car waiting for me downstairs."

Concern and a hint of disappointment marred his features. His thumb stroked over the apple of my cheek. "I'd much rather be the one to take you."

I forced a smile on my face, my heart bleeding. "I know," I lied. "But it's okay."

Tate didn't seem to notice how much this was affecting me. He slid his hand back into my hair, urged me in his direction, and kissed me again. Feeling his lips on mine and the slight edge of desperation in his kiss, it became clearer.

I should have walked out without waking him.

Because this was just one more thing I was going to have to try to get over, to forget.

It seemed an impossible task at this point.

Tate tore his mouth from mine, stood, and wrapped me in his arms. "I'm glad there's only a week left on the tour."

My cheek was pressed against his naked chest, the scent of him making my knees weak. "Mmhmm."

He brought his hands to either side of my face, tilted my head back, and kissed my forehead, the tip of my nose, and my lips once more. "Let me walk you out."

"No. It's okay. Honestly, I've had the guy waiting to take me for too long as it is."

He studied me for a moment, his frustration evident. But whatever he wanted to say, he kept to himself.

Tears pricked my eyes as he took me by the hand and led me to the door. "Have a safe flight, Ava. Let me know when you land, and I'll see you when you get back."

One more kiss.

Just one more.

I lifted on my toes, touched my lips to his, and kissed him. I was hoping the kiss would be enough to last me for the rest of my life, but that wasn't possible. There would never be enough of him. Pulling back, feeling my stomach churn, I whispered, "Goodbye, Tate."

A moment later, I was gone.

And there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop the ache from spreading from my heart to every other part of my body.