3. TATE

3

TATE

ONE YEAR, THREE MONTHS LATER

"This time next week, you'll be a married man."

At Cooper's declaration, all of us pinned our stares on Wyatt. Our oldest brother was finally getting married, so Cooper, Liam, and I had decided to celebrate with a bachelor party of sorts.

We hadn't gone the traditional route of bars or strip clubs—though I wondered how traditional those were these days—and instead took a long weekend at our grandparents' lake house to spend time together, fishing, eating, and enjoying each other's company.

Today, we'd all gone down to the dock, set up some chairs, and cracked open a few beers. And now that we were settling in for the afternoon, it was time to get on Wyatt's case. Of course, it was all going to be meant in good fun.

"I am," he declared. "I never thought I'd be this excited about it, either."

"I still can't get over the fact that Rhea was that close to you all these years, and you never knew it," I said.

"Trust me, I think about that all the time. I wish I'd gone for a scoop of ice cream years earlier."

The sting of regret.

Something I understood all too well. Something I'd been living with for more than a year now, longer if I really allowed my mind to drift.

"Hey, look on the bright side," Liam chimed in. "You're the first of us to make it happen. I definitely didn't see that coming."

Wyatt, Cooper, and I all exchanged nervous looks before turning our attention to our youngest brother. Liam was the quietest of the bunch, something that had gotten worse in recent years. It had been more than three years since he'd been left heartbroken, and I wasn't sure he was ever going to recover.

Noting the worried looks on our faces, Liam said, "Relax, guys. I'm fine."

"Are you?" Cooper questioned him. "You know we all thought this was going to be you."

Liam shrugged. "Yeah, but it's not. I have no choice but to be okay with it. And the last thing I'm going to do is ruin this weekend for Wyatt. I just…" He shrugged again. "Like all of you, I thought I was going to be the first one here. I thought I was lucky. Now, I'm not sure it's ever going to happen. It is what it is. I'm happy for you, Wyatt. And Rhea is awesome. You're both very lucky. Cooper and Skye are, too."

A smile hit my face as mixed emotions moved through me. While we were all happy for Wyatt and Rhea on their upcoming wedding as well as Cooper and Skye on their recent engagement, there was a sense of devastation over where things were in Liam's life. Nothing had turned out for him like any of us expected, especially not him.

"Thanks, Liam," Wyatt said. "It means a lot to me."

Liam went back to being silent.

"What about you, Tate?" my oldest brother asked.

"What about me?"

"I'm going to be a married man in a week. Cooper's going to be there next year. I guess I'm curious if you're ever going to stop working long enough for you to have the time to find someone."

Avoidance was going to be my tactic on this topic.

"There's a lot to be done at work," I reasoned.

It wasn't a complete lie. Our company, The Westwood Company, didn't sleep. There was always something to be done, a place to expand. In my role as the head of marketing and product development, I didn't sit around waiting for things to happen. I studied our product line, looked at what was selling, and made changes as necessary. I also looked at what things we offered at Westwood's that would draw more crowds—whether to the hotel or the amusement park. I thoroughly enjoyed being part of the continued growth and success of our family's company.

"Don't even try that, Tate," Cooper advised. "I've got a list of things that need to be done, and it grows every day. I'm convinced you create work for yourself. You've been working more hours over the last year than any of us have, and I don't think there's a need in the business for it."

Why was this suddenly turning into a conversation about my work? I didn't need them digging into what was happening inside my head.

"Yeah, you could take some time off for a little bit of fun," Wyatt reasoned.

I swept my hand out in front of me, palm facing up, and said, "What does this look like?"

"Other than the usual holidays and birthday celebrations, this is the first you've taken some time off from work. It's crazy."

"That's rich coming from you, Coop."

Holding his hands up in surrender, he explained, "Listen, a good woman will change that for you."

Visions of Ava flashed through my mind. I couldn't start thinking about her again. She was the reason I'd been working so much over the last year. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget what happened at the lake house last year. I walked into that bathroom when my brothers and I arrived here, and I swore I could still see her standing there in her bra, tending to the wound on my hand.

She was all I thought about for more than a year now, and I didn't know how to cope, other than to drown myself in my work.

Getting my head screwed on straight was going to be a necessity, though. Because I'd be seeing Ava again for the first time in nearly a year. She'd left a couple of days after the 4 th of July get together last year to head out on tour, coming back only briefly during the Christmas holiday. I'd seen her once during that break. We never had the opportunity to be alone with one another then—something I believed she'd made sure was the case—and the very little interaction we'd had with each other was awkward at best.

I hated it.

I'd never gone this long without having any communication with Ava, and it was killing me.

This wedding had the potential to be disastrous for the both of us if I didn't figure out how I was going to fix this.

"It's Ava," Liam declared.

Everyone snapped their heads in his direction as Cooper replied, "What?"

"It's Ava," Liam repeated. "She's the reason Tate's working so much."

"Ava's out on tour," Wyatt noted.

Liam sent him a look that indicated that should have been enough of an explanation, and when he didn't expand on it, Wyatt and Cooper shot me expectant looks.

I remained silent.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Tate," Liam goaded me. "Tell me there's not something going on between you and Ava."

Well, at least I could answer that. "There's nothing going on between Ava and me."

"I'm not buying it."

"I'm serious."

Liam's eyes narrowed as though he was trying to decide if he believed me. "Fine. But that doesn't mean you both aren't dancing around the fact that you want there to be something happening between the two of you."

"Is that… Really?" Wyatt asked. "Ava?"

"She's like our sister," Cooper announced, an edge of revulsion and disbelief in his tone.

Maybe that's how it was for the rest of them, but I never saw Ava that way. I didn't know what to say to my brothers. I felt like I'd wanted Ava forever.

"Relax, guys. I said there's nothing happening. With the exception of Christmas, she hasn't been here for more than a year," I said, hoping they'd just drop it.

Wyatt didn't feel the same. "I'm with Liam on this one. I'm not buying it. You've always worked a lot, but this has been excessive for the last year or so. What I don't understand is why you're not doing anything about it?"

"Maybe he's already attempted to do that," Cooper reasoned. "Maybe she turned him down."

"That's not it," Liam muttered. When the silence fell over us and all eyes went back in Liam's direction, he put his focus solely on me. "She's into you. She's been into you for a long time."

I looked away from him and back out at the lake, ignoring the inquisitive stares from Wyatt and Cooper. How long had Liam known the way things were between Ava and me? For three years now, it had seemed like Liam was too devastated by his own personal circumstances to really have the capacity to be this observant. Maybe we'd all been assuming the worst for no reason.

When I said nothing, Liam added, "I know what you do for a living, Tate. There's nobody in this family who has the ability to read people the way you can. That's why you're so good at your job. You know what people want. And you can't possibly tell me that you're oblivious to how badly Ava wants you."

My throat tightened painfully. If there was one thing I was acutely aware of, it was how badly Ava wanted something more between us, how badly I wanted the same. Although, at this point, maybe I should have faced reality. Ava used to want something between us. I wasn't so sure about that being the case any longer.

"Tate?" Wyatt called.

I drew in a long breath and focused my attention on him again. "Yeah?"

"What's going on?"

To believe my brothers were going to let this go was foolish. If the roles were reversed with any of them, I'd be doing the same thing they were right now. "I want her to be happy."

"Okay. But from what Liam says, it seems as though she'd be that way with you," Cooper noted.

"Maybe. Until she isn't."

"What does that mean?"

"You said it yourself, Coop. You see her like a sister. We're the only family she's got. What if I did something about the way I felt about her, and it didn't work out? How do I take away her family?"

Three sets of concerned and curious eyes were on me. "I think you know all of us better than that."

I did.

Of course, I did.

"So, you're admitting you're just as into her as she is into you?" Wyatt pressed.

I dipped my chin.

"And you're avoiding doing anything about it, because you're afraid things could go south between the two of you and result in the rest of us suddenly hating her?"

When he put it like that, it sounded absurd.

Because it was absurd. They'd never do that, not without some justifiable cause, and even then, I wasn't sure they'd ever write her off completely. That just wasn't how this family operated.

The reality was that I was doing anything I could to avoid giving them the full truth. While there was a part of me that worried about Ava's family situation when it came to us having a romantic relationship, it wasn't the only thing holding me back. In fact, it was only a very small part of the reason I hesitated to do anything with her.

"She's been gone for more than a year," I declared.

I thought that would explain it all. I believed it told my brothers precisely what the problem was. But when all I received in return was a bunch of blank stares, I realized it might not have been so clear.

"We understand that, but what does that have to do with anything?" Cooper questioned me.

I raised a curious brow, sending him a look of disbelief. "Are you telling me that if Skye traveled for her job and was away for periods of time like that, you'd be completely fine?"

Understanding seemed to dawn in his expression.

Shifting my focus to Wyatt, I pressed, "And what about you? You're getting married in a week. If Rhea's work led to her being away for months at a time, how long do you think your relationship would last?"

Neither Cooper nor Wyatt said anything.

Liam had decided that today was the day he intended to not remain silent. "Have you told her this?"

I shook my head.

"Why not?"

My brows drew together, unsure why he didn't seem to understand this. "I'm not going to be the reason she gives up her career. She's dreamed of doing what she's doing for so long."

"Maybe she wants something else even more," he reasoned, lifting his shoulder in a half shrug. "I don't know. She might hold on to that, because it's all she has."

"She loves dance. She loves to perform."

"And I'm saying that if a person doesn't know that there's a problem, there isn't anything he or she can do to change the situation," he fired back.

"Are you telling me you don't see my side on this?"

"I'm telling you that I can sympathize with her." He held my stare for a beat before he added, "You're being unfair to her by not giving her the chance to fix something she isn't even aware is a problem. So, she'll just go around believing you didn't feel a thing for her, when the reality is that she's probably willing to do anything, even give up the so-called dream career, for a future with you. Because that is the real dream for her." Liam swore as he stood, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I need a minute."

As my youngest brother stalked off, I couldn't ignore the burn in my lungs. For years I'd stopped myself from pursuing Ava the way I wanted, the way we both wanted, because after everything she'd been through, I didn't want her to have to give up something she worked so hard for.

Maybe it was selfish of me, but I knew I wouldn't be able to be with her and have her gone for months at a time. That wasn't a relationship to me.

But this wasn't working for me, either. I'd buried myself in work, because I had nothing. Not a flirty text or a quick call from her. I didn't even get the usual playfulness she would have normally given me when she returned for her short Christmas break.

She'd gone no contact.

The last time we were on good terms, Ava had been vulnerable with me like never before, and when she had given every green light, I'd turned her down.

If I allowed myself to think about it, I could still remember how the exact curve of her breast felt in my hand.

I swallowed hard, regret choking me.

Wyatt broke the silence. "As much as what Liam said might be true, I get the feeling this conversation stopped being about Tate and Ava for him. Fuck, and I thought he was doing okay."

"No kidding," Cooper muttered. "I'm not sure he's ever going to recover."

"And here I am, slapping him in the face with this."

"You have a justifiable reason to be concerned, Tate," Wyatt started. "But Liam isn't wrong about you being unfair to Ava. If you think the both of you want something more than what you've got, I think it's worth talking to her about it. You have to give her the opportunity to address what's bothering you about taking that step forward."

Cooper stood. "I'm going to go check on Liam."

When Cooper walked away, I sent an apologetic look Wyatt's way. "I'm sorry about this. I'm sure it's not what you had planned for this weekend."

Wyatt laughed. "Don't worry about it. If anything, it's making me realize just how grateful I am to have Rhea. I don't have to worry about things like this now."

I huffed. "Yeah. Consider yourself lucky."

The two of us returned our attention to the water, fishing rods in hand. After several beats of silence, Wyatt said, "So, Ava? Really?"

"Yep."

"How long?"

"Longer than I'd care to admit."

He chuckled. "I guess it makes sense why you haven't been out searching for anyone else. At least you'll see her at the rehearsal dinner next week and can take the time to talk to her."

If only it would be that easy. "That's not likely."

"Why not?"

"Other than the two words she said to me at Christmas, those being Merry and Christmas , Ava hasn't spoken to me since we were here last year on the 4 th of July," I shared.

"What?"

"I don't want to get into the details, but I screwed up, and she got hurt in the process," I confessed.

"Ah, younger brother, let me tell you a story about fixing mistakes when you screw up and knowing how to apologize," Wyatt declared, his tone amused.

At least one of us found this entertaining. If anyone deserved that much, especially the week before his wedding, it was Wyatt. So, I sat back and listened to his wisdom.

And eventually, Cooper and Liam returned.

When I met my youngest brother's eyes, I lamented, "I'm sorry, man."

He shook his head and waved his hand in the air. "Don't worry about it. I got a little caught up."

Yeah, he did.

But that didn't mean he was wrong about what he said.

"It's going to get better. One of these days, it'll happen."

He tipped his chin down with understanding, but I wasn't sure he believed me.