19. AVA

19

AVA

It was a good thing we were scheduled to leave Keystone Mountain the following morning after a family breakfast.

I was convinced I wouldn't have survived much past that point.

I'd woken up that morning— woken being a term I was using loosely, considering the fitful night of sleep I'd had—and everything rushed back. The words Tate had said to me, him turning me down for a dance, him leaving with Francesca, and him coming into my room that night to tell my sleeping form how sorry he was for having fucked up.

I wanted to burst into tears all over again, but I knew that would likely make things worse. As it was, I had to find a way to explain my puffy, swollen eyes.

Lingering in the room for as long as possible, feeling nothing but sadness and misery, it was no surprise when a knock came at my door, and Ivy walked in. "Hey, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Terrible," I answered honestly.

"You look like you didn't sleep much. I came in to check on you when I got back, but it looked like you were out," she said.

"Yeah, I think I was in and out of it all night."

"Any idea what's wrong?" she pressed.

I shrugged. I couldn't tell her the truth. It would only put everyone back into a state of misery, and I refused to do that to the rest of the family again. "I wound up vomiting in some bushes not long after I made it outside last night, so something didn't agree with me."

Technically, I was telling the truth, even if I wasn't exactly elaborating on what it was that had led to the nausea.

"Oh, God. That sounds terrible. Do you think you're going to be up for breakfast this morning?"

I really didn't want to go. But when I considered the alternative, I figured it was the lesser of two evils. Because if I didn't join the family for breakfast this morning, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that Tate would have made his way to the bedroom. It was better if I didn't wind up alone with him. The buffer of others would be a benefit.

"I think so. I'll probably just steer clear of any bacon."

She laughed. "That's not a bad idea."

"How was the rest of your night?" I asked as I stood and moved toward her.

"I had a blast, but not an ounce of luck with meeting a guy."

I wanted to tell her that she was better off that way, because if my experience was anything to go by, it was far more heartache than it was worth. But instead of dashing her hopes, I decided to be a bit more supportive. "One day, Ivy. I know you're going to find him."

"Well, I'm certain it's going to have to be that way with me finding him, because I'm not convinced that he's out there looking for me."

I offered a half-hearted smile before the both of us walked out of the bedroom and descended the stairs to have breakfast with the family.

The moment we stepped into the dining room, my eyes landed on Tate. The words he'd said to me last night filtered through my head for what felt like the hundredth time.

I fucked up, Ava .

He fucked up. Just days earlier, he'd been sitting in that same seat at the table with me right beside him, and he'd brushed his lips against mine. And last night, he fucked up. The pain I felt was indescribable.

And it was only by some miracle I managed to swallow past the hurt and step deeper into the room.

"Good morning, Ava. How are you feeling today?" Jules asked.

"Morning, Jules. I'm okay. Not as bad as last night."

"What happened last night?" Malcolm asked.

I shook my head as I conveniently chose to sit in the seat beside Jules. "I wound up feeling sick a while after we left here last night. And my apologies to Mina, her family, and staff, but I got sick in some bushes outside."

"Oh, wow. Any idea what happened? Are you feeling okay now?"

"My stomach is a little queasy, but it's better than last night. Something left me feeling unsettled, I guess."

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling well enough to join us for our last breakfast here this morning," he said.

"Me, too."

Luckily, that was the extent of the questioning. For the next forty-five minutes, I sat with the family and had breakfast, a multitude of conversations breaking out amongst everyone.

I chimed in every now and then, so nothing would seem out of the ordinary. I even stomached responding to something Tate had said in two separate instances, but it just about killed me. I was dying inside.

All I wanted to do was get back to Landing and have some time alone.

It was after breakfast when everybody dispersed from the dining room to pack and prepare for their return trip home. That was when, no matter how much I had hoped I would have avoided it, Tate sought me out.

There was a gentle knock on my door before I heard him say my name. "Ava?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

I hadn't taken the time yet to figure out how to handle this with Tate. Unless he was prepared to come out with the truth right now, I didn't want to bring the situation up. I needed to give myself some time to think before I simply reacted.

So, keeping my voice as neutral as possible, I answered, "Sure."

Wanting to avoid looking at him as much as I could, I set about busying myself with packing.

"Hey, I just wanted to come in and check on you," he said.

I offered a quick glance in his direction. "Yeah, thanks. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I haven't hurled up my guts today, so I guess I'm doing alright."

"I wish you would have told me you were leaving. I would have walked back with you."

Like I could have if I wanted to. He was too busy fucking up for that to happen. I wondered what he would have said in his defense if I called him out right now on it. Having learned my lesson before, I held back from losing control and waited.

I shrugged and opened the drawer with my undergarments. As I gathered them in my arms, ignoring the way Tate had looked at them, I said, "Yeah, I just told Ivy and got out of there. I didn't make it far before I was doubled over the bushes, so it was good I left when I did."

When I moved back to the dresser to empty the next drawer and Tate didn't say anything, I looked back to see him staring at the undergarments I'd tossed into my suitcase. Was he thinking about how to tell me the truth? Was he thinking about how he couldn't wait to see me in them, so he decided to sleep with someone else instead? Did he wonder if he told me the truth, whether I'd walk away from him for good?

He surprised me when he looked at me and sent a mischievous grin my way. "You've had all of those with you this entire time?"

So, evidently, he hadn't been thinking about anything I had presumed he was. And it shocked me. Because I'd suspected he would. After all the remorse and regret I'd heard in his voice last night, there wasn't an ounce of it to be found today.

It made no sense, and there was that part of me that wanted to ask him how he did it. But I didn't. Instead, I gave him a nod and said, "I guess I wanted to be prepared."

His brows shot up. "Prepared?"

"Yep."

I gave him nothing but that single word as I continued packing.

"You sound like my kind of girl." Just like that, he tossed it out. Like he hadn't stripped another woman out of her clothes last night.

I shot him a look that I hoped indicated I wasn't amused. Whether it registered for him or not, I didn't know.

Tate took the opportunity to drop that subject and move to another. "So, do you have any plans for when you get back home to Landing?"

I put the last of my clothes into my suitcase and answered, "Well, I'm hoping to leave here as soon as I finish packing. And since I didn't sleep well last night, I'm just going to try to rest today. I'm hoping whatever this was that made me sick doesn't turn into something else, because I'm moving into my new place tomorrow."

"Okay. Do you want my help tomorrow? I have a couple of meetings in the morning all week this week, but I can help you out in the afternoons."

I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I'll probably get up and get things done early, because I have some work-related projects I want to focus on in the afternoons."

Disappointment washed over his expression. "Fair enough. Well, it sounds like you've got a busy week planned. And if I'm honest, there's going to be a lot on my plate, considering it's our first week back following the holiday break. But maybe we can get together at the end of the week to celebrate your new place."

A week.

I'd have a week to come up with an excuse.

"Yeah, I'm sure we could work something out. I'll just have to see how things go."

"Of course. We'll touch base throughout the week and figure out a time that works for the both of us."

I zipped up my suitcase. "That sounds great."

Tate jerked his head toward my suitcase and asked, "Is that everything?"

"That's all of it."

"Are you leaving now?"

I dipped my chin. "I really want to get back and rest."

He moved toward the suitcase, grabbed it by the handle, and said, "Come on. I'll walk you out."

Just a few more minutes. All I had to do was hold on for a few more minutes. Then I could break down.

"Thanks," I rasped.

I descended the stairs, said goodbye to everyone, and thanked Larry and Wendy for such a lovely gift. Then Tate carried my suitcase to the car for me. Once it was in the trunk, he opened my door and said, "I hope you had a good time."

I forced another smile onto my face. "I did."

"Good." He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I had no choice but to hug him back. How I didn't cry, I had not a clue. When he loosened his hold on me, he said, "Drive safe. I'll text you later to check in and see how you're doing."

"Perfect. Thanks, Tate."

"You're welcome, Ava. See you later."

With that, I folded in behind my wheel. Tate shut my door. And the next thing I knew, tears clouded my vision as I made my way home.

Now, I was back in my car and on my way to The Westwood Hotel.

It had been three days since I'd gotten back from Keystone Mountain, and it was safe to say I had not a clue how to handle the situation with Tate.

In my defense, I'd been doing everything I could to keep myself busy. Between signing my lease, starting the moving process, and looking for new space to rent temporarily until I could purchase my own studio to work out of, I didn't have much time to really think about what to do about Tate.

He'd reached out to me a handful of times via text, and I kept the conversations casual with him. But beyond that, I knew the clock was ticking on having to face this. He was going to ask to get together at the end of the week, and I was going to have to agree to go—and perhaps confront him then—or I was going to have to decline and tell him why.

For now, for today, I was continuing to live in a state of ignorance by not addressing the issue at all. Not even in my own head.

And it wasn't like I didn't have anything to do with myself anyway. I was heading back to the hotel to turn in my room key and officially check out. I'd stayed at the hotel through last night, because I'd been waiting on my bed to be delivered. Now that it had arrived at my apartment, I could finally get out of the hotel.

In a few hours, I had an appointment to meet with my realtor. She was going to be showing me two potential spots for me to work out of. I had hoped to be able to meet her earlier in the day, but unfortunately, she was booked all morning and early afternoon with showings and a closing.

In between now and then, maybe I'd finally take some time to consider what to do about my broken heart.

I walked through the front doors at the hotel and was happy to see my best friend was working. Since there was a line of guests being helped at the front desk by the employees and I needed nothing pressing, I walked over to where Ivy was.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"What's going on? Are you all moved in?"

I held up the room key with a smile and said, "I'm actually here to return this because I'm officially going to spend my first night in my new place tonight."

She took the key from me. "That's awesome. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks."

While she began to type into the computer in front of her—likely to take me out of the suite I'd been in since I'd returned to Landing not quite a month ago—she said, "I want to come over and see the new place."

"Well, tonight is out, because I'm meeting with my realtor. She's showing me a couple of spots that might work for my studio."

"Oh, nice. Hopefully, one of them works out. Are they close?"

"One's about five minutes away from here, and the other is a little closer to my apartment."

Before she could respond, the phone rang. She glanced down to where members of her staff were still helping guests. "Hang on. Let me grab this, so they don't have to deal with it."

"Sure."

"Thank you for calling The Westwood Hotel, this is Ivy speaking. How can I direct your call?"

She smiled at me as the person on the other end of the line spoke. I smiled back until she responded to the caller.

"Oh, hi, Francesca. Yes, you've called the hotel when you wanted to call the office. I can transfer you over to the Tate, but if I recall correctly, he had quite a few meetings scheduled this week. If he doesn't answer, just leave him a message, and he'll give you a call back once he's free."

There was silence again as I felt the returning waves of nausea. Why was the woman Tate had slept with calling him here? Worse, why the hell was my best friend talking to Francesca like she not only knew her but didn't hate her?

"Okay, great. Hang tight while I transfer you."

Ivy pushed a couple of buttons on the phone, confirmed the call transferred, and returned the phone to its cradle.

"That was Francesca from Keystone Mountain. Did you get a chance to meet her this weekend?"

My lungs felt like they were on fire, and I didn't trust myself to speak, so I simply moved my head from side to side as my brows pulled together.

"Oh, that was the night you got sick. I think you already left by the time I got to meet her. She's been working with us for a few weeks now. Well, she's mostly been working with Tate through some emails lately. We're contemplating more expansion here at the hotel, and we've considered adding some villas to create more of a resort atmosphere. Tate thinks our guests might really enjoy them, and since they've got the cabins at the mountain, Tate was able to check those out while we were there."

Villas.

They were considering putting up villas.

Tate went to check out the cabins for a possible expansion project here. He hadn't gone into that cabin to sleep with Francesca.

"Expansion?" I said, the air rushing out of me.

Ivy rolled her eyes. "It's like Cooper, Liam, and their crews don't already have enough to keep them busy."

I was going to cry.

That's why Tate had been able to act normally. He hadn't done anything.

But if that was the truth, why did he walk into my room that night to apologize? Why did he tell me he fucked up?

"I'm sure they'll just work it into their rotations," I reasoned. "Cooper's a much happier guy now that he's got Skye, anyway, so I wouldn't be too worried."

She was about to respond when one of her employees walked up and said, "Excuse me, Ivy, but I have an issue I'm trying to deal with here, and the computer is fighting me."

Ivy sent me an apologetic look.

I waved my hand in the air dismissively. "Go. I'll catch up with you later."

"Yes, I want to know how those possible studios work out for you. See you later, Ava. And congratulations on the new place."

"Thanks."

With my heart pounding wildly, I scurried out of the hotel as fast as I could. Without giving it a second thought, I made my way to the office building where Tate worked.

For days now, I believed he had slept with another woman. Days spent agonizing over what to do, how to confront him, and if I could ever move on.

And it had been for nothing.

Please, God, I hope it had been for nothing.

I parked, flew out of the car, and raced toward the building.

"Please, please, please," I chanted quietly.

Before I knew it, I was riding the elevator up to the floor where Tate worked, my body trembling. The doors hadn't even opened fully when I dashed out and straight to his office.

I burst through the door, but he wasn't there.

An overwhelming sense of panic bubbled up inside of me. I needed to talk to him. It was then I recalled Ivy mentioning he might have been in a meeting.

My feet carried me down the hall, away from his office and toward the conference room. I made it to the door and couldn't see through the windows lining the wall since they were covered with closed blinds.

Maybe this was crazy. Maybe I was out of my mind.

But I had to see him.

So, I put my hand on the doorknob and flung the door open. My eyes landed on Tate, who was seated at the opposite end of the table. And though I was aware there were other people in the room, I couldn't take my eyes off him.