14. AVA

14

AVA

"This is incredible."

Coming back to Landing was the best decision of my life.

It had only been just over a week since I returned, and barring the issue of the tension between Tate and me and the near immediate breakdown I had the next morning when Ivy brought me breakfast, I already felt so much better.

This was precisely where I was meant to be. I was silently kicking myself for ever thinking I could thrive anywhere else.

Of course, I still had a long way to go before I'd feel like I was where I wanted to be, but at least I was on the right track.

After I'd given myself the day after Tate's birthday to grieve the loss of the life I'd always dreamed I'd have and the bond of our friendship that he and I had lost, I did as I'd promised Ivy I was going to do.

And while I was mostly excited about getting myself out there and taking the steps to move on, not everything had been as easy as it might have seemed.

Because I was staying in a suite at The Westwood Hotel, and I knew there was a very real possibility that Tate and I might see one another if we happened to be in some shared public space on the campus. While it was unlikely, considering he worked in their office building that wasn't in the hotel, there was still a chance that he could stroll through the front doors and into the lobby as I was leaving.

So, for the first three days, I was on edge every time I stepped out of my suite. I was aware I wouldn't be able to avoid Tate forever, but after the way things had gone down between us at his birthday celebration, I just hadn't quite prepared myself for that next interaction. I needed time to get my defenses up.

After those first three days, I stopped thinking about it so much. I didn't worry that I might accidentally run into him. In fact, I felt confident I'd be able to handle it with ease.

Somewhere over the course of those three days, something changed for me. Whether it was that I was actively going out to check out apartments or something else, I wasn't quite sure. What I did know was that I'd gone from feeling heartbroken over the situation with Tate to feeling vindicated.

Initially, I'd felt awful about the way I'd gone about things and cut him out. It was wrong, and after what we'd had together, maybe I owed it to him to at least tell him the truth about my plan not to return. At the very least, I could have returned his calls.

So, the night I returned, I was remorseful and prepared to ask for his forgiveness for how I'd handled everything. I was even understanding of the reaction he'd given me that night. I came back, without warning, and intruded on what should have been a celebratory evening for him.

But after I had some time to think on it—and I had plenty of time over the last week or so—I no longer felt bad. I believed my decision to leave Landing, despite it not working out for me in the end, was done for the right reason.

Tate didn't care about me the way I cared about him. Sure, he claimed he'd felt an attraction to me for a long time, but when it all boiled down, I had been in love when he only felt lust.

Coming to that realization was like having a light switched on inside me. I had been right to do what I needed to do to protect myself after the wedding. And now, I didn't worry about how things might go if we happened to run into one another.

I'd apologized. He'd chosen not to listen to what I had to say, nor did he accept it. His inaction since his birthday, his unwillingness to even reach out to apologize for speaking to me like he had, was just what I'd needed to be set free.

So, for now, I was taking just one more step toward reconnecting my life to this town and the people who did love me. Today, that meant I intended to take the morning to kill two birds, which started with finally making my first trip to see Jules and her new bakery.

I'd just arrived in the area between the food court and the end of the chocolate-making tour ride to see the stunning bakery, where Jules now spent her days. The place was impressive, and I couldn't hold back telling her.

"Thank you. Do you really like it?" she asked.

"Are you kidding me? I love it." My eyes scanned the entire space—glass cases housing rows upon rows of sweet treats. Everything was there, from cookies, cupcakes, doughnuts, and cinnamon rolls to freshly baked breads, bagels, and biscuits. It all looked appetizing; I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to sample everything.

"Cooper really did a fantastic job with this place. I couldn't be happier with it."

She was beaming. I couldn't say I didn't understand, either. Like me, Jules seemed to always know what she'd wanted to do with her life. Sure, she could cook, but baking was her life the way dancing had been mine.

"It's great. And I love the name."

Jules let out a laugh. "Yeah, I had gone through a bunch of different names, and The Mixing Bowl was the one that stuck."

This was it.

This right here was just one of the things that solidified that I'd made the right decision to come back, regardless of Tate. I would have regretted not seeing this. Jules and I were nearly as close as Ivy and I were. She was just like a sister to me, and being able to see her realize her dream meant the world to me. "I'm so proud of you, Jules."

"Thanks, Ava. That means a lot to me. So, do you want something heartier this morning? I've got a ton of bagels or croissants. Or, if you just want a sweet treat, there're a lot of options between the cupcakes and cookies."

"Oh, man. I'm so glad I didn't eat yet today, because I want some of everything. How about something with a bit of substance now and something indulgent for later?"

She grinned. "Smart woman. Do you have something specific you want to try, or do you want me to choose?"

"You pick. I figure I'm eventually going to want to try at least one of everything, so it doesn't really matter where I start."

As she worked on getting something picked out and put together for me, Jules asked, "So, I haven't seen you since you got back. What have you been up to?"

"I've just been trying to keep myself busy and get back some semblance of a normal life again. After traveling for so long, I'm looking for some stability." I turned slightly, pointed my stare toward the tables that were set up in front of her bakery, and said, "In fact, I was thinking I'd stick around and eat my breakfast here while I make a decision."

"A decision? On what?"

I grinned. "A new place. I went and looked at two apartments, a condo, and a townhome this week that were for rent, so now I need to choose what's going to be the best option for me."

Understanding dawned on her features. "So, the place you were in before you went on the tour is no longer available, I assume."

"It's not. And none of the spaces I looked at this week are the perfect mix of everything that my last place was, so that's a bit of a bummer."

After Jules wrapped up the breakfast that she'd decided on for me, she moved toward the dessert display and reasoned, "Well, maybe it'll be nice to have a change of scenery. I'd say if you get stuck on something, make a list."

"A list?"

She nodded. "Of pros and cons for each one of the options. That'll probably help you choose and be confident in your decision. It's what helped me."

I tipped my head to the side, my brows furrowing. "Making lists helped you? With what? Since when does Jules Westwood suggest anyone make a list of pros and cons? Is this a new, grown woman with her own business tactic you've implemented in your life?"

Jules snapped her lips together, and her expression turned serious. My body tensed in response to the sudden change, and as the sympathetic look washed over her, her shoulders falling with defeat, she confessed quietly, "It's Tate. He… well, he helped me with planning a lot of this before we even got Cooper involved. As you know, Tate's the kind of guy who likes to analyze things from every angle, so he suggested I make some lists."

I didn't want to react negatively.

Jules adored her family—the same as I did—and I'd never want to say anything to her about her brother that could put a strain on their relationship. I hadn't even told Ivy everything that Tate had said to me. I didn't doubt she wouldn't let it slide, and I didn't need that.

The truth was that I was doing what I had to do to move on. And I couldn't expect that any member of Tate's family was going to stop talking about him, simply because he and I were experiencing some tension.

"Well, it's obvious the suggestion worked for you, because this place turned out amazing."

Jules moved toward me with the bag of goodies in her hand. She set it on the counter between us and lamented, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

I waved my hand in the air dismissively. "There's nothing to apologize for."

"Things aren't good between you and him."

No, they weren't. But that wasn't something she needed to take on her shoulders.

"He's still your brother, Jules, and I don't expect you to change who you are or how you feel about him because of anything happening between him and me."

She inclined her head slightly. "I know. But that doesn't mean I want to make you upset or uncomfortable, either."

I reached for her hand that was resting on the counter beside the bag, covering it with mine. "I promise I'm okay. Honestly, I'm focused on this housing situation now, and then I've got a few other projects to work on. I've got plenty to keep me busy, so don't think I'm sitting around sulking. I know where Tate and I stand, and I've come to terms with everything. I don't want you to worry."

Jules eyed me in a way that made me think she wasn't necessarily sure if she should trust what I was saying. But even if she believed I wasn't being totally honest, she didn't say anything to challenge my claims. "Okay. I just want to know you're both okay."

"I can't speak for him, but I promise that I am."

"Good."

"Now, how much do I owe you?" I asked.

Shaking her head, she held her hand up in refusal. "Nothing."

"I have to pay."

"Not for your first order. It's my treat. Consider it a welcome home gift. You can pay next time, if you feel so inclined."

"Then I'll definitely be back. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Ava. Enjoy."

At that moment, a customer had walked up to the display case, so I excused myself and moved to one of the tables in front of the bakery. I opened the bag, pulled out my breakfast treat, and took a bite. It was delicious. If Jules hadn't been with a customer, I would have been singing her praises.

As I sat there, I considered her suggestion. Part of me didn't want to do what she'd recommended, given the idea came from Tate. I was much more of a free spirit, so the idea of lists was something I'd expected would make me break out in hives.

I sighed, digging into my oversized handbag and pulling out the paperwork I'd received on each of the properties. Maybe if I just went through the pros and cons in my head, it wouldn't feel like I was taking advice from Tate.

Though Jules had indicated just how much it had helped her to create some lists when it came to deciding exactly what she wanted for her bakery, it still surprised me how quickly I was able to rule out one of the apartments I'd visited. The second apartment as well as the condo were both still in the running as I shifted my attention to the townhouse paperwork.

Of the three remaining properties, I loved the location of the townhouse. But when it came to the cost and size, it really was a whole lot more than I needed. It was just me, so I simply didn't need all the extra space and bedrooms.

Another one down.

With the choices narrowed to two, I placed the documents for each in front of me and considered all the same pros and cons of each.

There were so many things I liked about both properties, and neither one stood out as being the one to me. I was so caught up in what I was doing, that I'd been oblivious to what was happening around me.

And that's when everything took a turn.

Because just a second or two before I saw him, I felt him. I didn't have to look up to know I'd see him close by. But what shocked me the most was when my eyes landed first on the lower half of his body as it came to a stop beside my table.

Immediately, the scent of him invaded my senses, taking me back to the night of his brother's wedding. I closed my eyes, every muscle going taut, and I prayed for resolve, because I wasn't sure just how tough my defenses were.

No matter what happened next, I couldn't allow the love I felt for him for so many years to overshadow the hatred he'd displayed for me just a week ago. I couldn't take one look at him and fall back into a state of sadness and despair. I silently hoped for the strength to get through whatever was about to happen.

So, I took in one last deep breath, opened my eyes, and allowed my gaze to travel up Tate's body to his face.

One look was all it took for my shields to snap into place.

Tate

How did I let this happen?

The moment our eyes locked on each other, one thing became clear. I'd lost Ava, and I had nobody but myself to blame.

Gone was the fun-loving, outspoken woman with the radiant smile and shining eyes. She'd been replaced by someone else. This new version of Ava wasn't even the woman I'd seen a week ago, the one who'd been consumed with sadness, guilt, and despair. There was nothing in her gaze that reeked of desperation or longing.

Nope.

I was staring into the eyes of a woman I didn't know—a woman scorned.

Though I hadn't expected the first time I saw her after the way I treated her last week would have been easy, I never expected this.

Not the pinched mouth and flat look in her eyes. Not the way she leaned away from me instead of toward me. And certainly not the stiffness in her normally relaxed posture.

My stomach was roiling, my throat dry. There was a heaviness that consumed me, regret and sorrow seeping into every inch of my body.

Despite the clear tension between us, I had to try to fix this. "Hi, Ava."

Her eyes cut away from mine. "Tate."

That single word came out harsh, clipped. She couldn't even look at me.

I had to try harder.

My eyes shifted to the papers on the table, quickly discerning they were for properties in the area. Maybe I could play this a different way, show some interest and soften her up that way. "Looking for an apartment?"

Ava didn't look up at me. She shuffled the papers toward one another, stacking one on top of the other, and flipped them over before leaning onto her forearms and covering them. "I'm not sure that's any of your concern."

Fuck.

I knew I screwed up. Why did I think it hadn't been this bad?

Evidently, this tactic wasn't going to work.

"Ava, please look at me."

Her shoulders tensed, but she did not meet my stare. I took a step to the side, sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the table, and made it happen on my own. She pushed off her forearms and sat back in her seat, like she thought if I was touching the table at the same time as her, she'd wind up catching some incurable disease.

At least she was looking at me now.

"I'm sorry."

Her brows shot up, questioning me, but she said not a word.

"Ava, I'm sorry about how I treated you the day you came back. I never should have spoken to you like that. There were a lot of emotions. Your return was unexpected, and I didn't handle it well."

She swallowed hard. "Great. Well, thanks for the apology."

"Don't be like this. We should talk about this, try to work through it."

Ava gathered her paperwork in her hands, stuffed into her handbag and stood, reaching for the bag with whatever she'd gotten here at my sister's bakery. "Correction, Tate. We could have talked about this and tried to work on it. But it's been just over a week since you welcomed me home in your own special way, and I've heard not a peep from you about how bad you feel about it until now. So, I'm sorry, too. The time for us to talk has long since passed."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's the truth. I know I didn't make all the right choices handling things, but now I know I was right to do everything the way I did. Because at the very first opportunity, you'll just break my heart all over again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to do."

Without giving me the opportunity to say another word to her, Ava turned and walked off, leaving me feeling like my stomach had been hollowed out and my heart ripped from my chest.