Chapter 9
Miracle of all miracles, I"m off work when I"m supposed to be. There"s no late shift call, and I"m able to clock out. I wave at the guys after docking my body cam. "See y"all in two days. I"m gonna enjoy my days off."
I head out of the station, taking the steps two at a time, with my cell phone at my ear. As promised, I"m calling in that order for chicken wings, along with a few appetizers and a side big enough for both of us. Within thirty minutes, I have everything I need, and I"m heading home. The phone rings, and I grin when my mom"s name pops up on the ID.
"Hey, how"s it going?" She asks, the connection slightly shitty.
"Pretty good. How"s your vacation? It"s kind of hard to hear you."
"Yeah, we"re in the mountains, and crossing over into Montana."
I gawk at the ID. "You"re in Montana? What happened to doing the coastal highway? Y"all are gonna end up going all over the country, and here I am just living life working twelve hours a day."
She laughs. "You poor thing. You know we did our time. How"s Rachel? How"s married life? I"m sorry we"re missing out."
Rolling my eyes, I smile even though she can"t see it. "No you"re not. Y"all enjoy your time together, which you should. You"ve worked hard for it, and you know I"m just giving you a hard time. I"m really glad the two of you have been able to do this. I do miss you though, and I know Rachel misses you too."
"You still haven"t mentioned how the marriage is going."
Leave it to her not to let me wiggle my way out of it. "It"s going. We"re learning about each other, and Rachel loves her. What else can I ask for?" I play it off, but I know there are definitely more things I could ask for. I could ask for love, passion, and friendship. Courtney and I don"t have that yet, but I can feel a pull toward her. We could have it, I"m positive of that. We just have to work toward it. I"m hoping tonight is the start of that.
"Rachel loving her isn"t the only thing that needs to happen, Shane," she warns.
"I know, but that"s where we"re starting. We"ll figure it out, mom. We"re adults." I remind her, although I definitely still feel like a kid when she questions me, or speaks to me like this. "There are things we have to get comfortable with, and we will. Right now, I should date her, and then we"ll move on." Or at least I hope we will. I"m extremely attracted to her, and everything seems level with her. There haven"t been any surprises yet, but then again, I haven"t been home the way I should be.
"Well, I"ll let you get to it. Give Rachel a hug and kiss for me."
"I will. Love you, Mom. Tell Dad I said hi."
"Will do."
When we hang up, I thrust annoyed fingers through my hair. I don"t know how she and I move forward from where we are right now, but I know we have to work from here and get to know one another. The problem is the attraction. I"m afraid that those feelings will drive our emotions. Pulling into the driveway, I grab the food and head inside. "I"m home," I yell, as I walk inside and shut the back door.
She sticks her head out of the bathroom. "I"m finishing up her bath."
"Let me do it. You come out here and get the food set up, I"ll finish her bath and put her to bed. I"ve missed it. She onto a new story yet?" I give her a small smile.
"Nope, still loving that first book of nursery rhymes. As long as you read the first two, she"ll be good to go."
She hands off Rachel to me. My daughter gives me a grin that goes straight to my chest, fisting my heart. "Missed you, Rach. Holy shit you"ve grown so much." Her eyes dance, shining brightly as she watches me. It still amazes me that I knew nothing about her the first few months of her life, and she"s worked her way so deeply into my life. I never thought I"d have this, much less be this happy about it. Rachel has changed my life, in ways I never imagined.
After I"m done getting her dressed, and have a seat in her rocker, I inhale deeply, loving the smell of the baby shampoo. She won"t be little like this long, and I desperately need to enjoy it while I have it. Kicking my legs out in front of me, I hold her, open the book, and start to read aloud.
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"Is she asleep?" Courtney asks when I walk into the kitchen about twenty minutes later.
"Out like a light." I"ve changed into some comfortable clothes, and now all I want to do is relax and eat dinner with my wife. It still feels weird calling her that. "Thank you for taking such good care of her." I walk over and grab a drink, before going to the table, and having a seat.
She follows me, a grin across her lips. "She"s easy to take care of. I"ll have to admit, I was nervous when I realized that you had a small baby, even more so when I realized that you were kind of looking for a built in babysitter." There"s a teasing lilt to her voice, which makes me feel a little better about the situation.
"I didn"t mean for that to happen, I promise you. I knew I would need help, and yes that was a catalyst for me to meet with Miss May, but I never expected you to come live with me and immediately step into that role. I"m sorry that I haven"t been able to spend more time with you, and get to know you." It"s been a shit situation, especially with her leaving her entire life, and coming to live with me. I"ve left her to her own devices and she"s spent most every night alone with my daughter while I"ve been working. "I really want this to work for us. That"s why I"m here on time tonight, why I brought food, and why I"m sitting at this table ready to listen to whatever it is you want to talk about."
"I know." She grabs a potato skin taking a bite of it. The chewing is more thoughtful than trying to actually eat it. "We"re both going to have to work at this, not just you, so this is me trying, too. How was your day? What do you do for fun?"
"My day? It was pretty good. I did a lot of patrol and didn"t have to fight anyone, so that"s always a plus. Especially when I don"t have to fight a lady not wearing a bra. I hate that."
She laughs loudly, putting her hand over her mouth. "Is that a normal thing?"
"You have no idea. When women get drunk, the bra comes off, and they are ready to throw down. Whether it be with their husband, baby daddy, wife, girlfriend, friend, some body they don"t even know. I do not understand it. I"ve gotten a palm full of sixty to seventy year old boob way more than I ever wanted to." Her giggle makes me laugh right along with her.
"That sounds interesting."
"That"s one way to put it. Some days are easy, and there"s not a lot going on. Like maybe we see someone who has a flat tire and they need help changing it.Maybe someone needs directions and they stop me, because I"m a cop. Those are my favorite days, where it is about helping with the every day. It"s when it gets more serious..."
Her eyes go soft and she tilts her head to the side. "More serious how? I"ve never dated a police officer, never known one really."
"It could be a domestic violence situation, a child abuse call, someone with a gun, a robbery, a deadly care accident. None of that is every really good, and you go into that call knowing that it could change you irreparably. You really have to have a good sense of who you are, because you see things that you just can"t tell a lot of other people about. Therapy is a big deal, whether you go talk to someone about what you see, or you have a hobby that lets you get away from the pressures of the job." I shrug as if it"s not a big deal, but it is. "And now, I have you and Rachel. It gives me another perspective and the motivation I need to make sure I come home every night to both of you. We may not have spent a lot of time together, but I"ve enjoyed the time we have spent."
She reaches across the table, taking my hand in hers. "I have too."