Chapter 10

"Good morning." I grin at Rachel the next morning, when I go in to get her up. She"s such a happy baby, hardly ever cries, and always has a smile for me. Waking her up is the favorite part of my day. "Did you sleep good?" I always ask her this like she"s going to be able to answer me.

"I did, but she might not be able to tell you." Shane"s deep voice, soft with sleep says from behind me.

I get her up, holding her tightly to my chest before taking her over to her changing table. I put her down and then turn to face Shane. Holy fucking shit, I was not prepared. I"ve never seen him right as he"s woken up. I typically see him in the kitchen, when he"s dressed for work. Since we got married, he"s only had a couple of days off, and the other times, I"ve seen him already dressed for the day. This though? This is something else entirely. He"s wearing a pair of low-slung sweat pants that hug his hip bones, and no shirt. Every single tattoo he has is on display and my God, if he isn"t one of the most perfect looking men. Tan with that blond hair, he could be a surfer if we lived near the beach. His arms are up over his head, holding onto the door facing, elongating his body, showing off his ab muscles and ribs. "Yeah..." I clear my throat. "Not sure why I always ask her."

"Are you okay?" His eyebrows pull together in question. "You look flushed."

"Fine," I answer, rolling my lips together. "Do you wanna change her while I get coffee started? Maybe we can go do something today. Family fun day?"

"Yeah." He smiles wide, straight white teeth and a fucking dimple sneaking out. "Sounds great to me."

I leave the room like my ass is on fire and he"s fanning the flames. When I get to the kitchen, I put my palms on the granite countertop and take a deep breath. It was easy to ignore how good looking he is when he wasn"t around. Now that he"s here, and invading the space I"ve so easily carved out for myself? I can"t help but notice him, and think about how fucking hot he is.

"So, there"s a craft show downtown today, would you like to go?" He asks as he comes in, holding Rachel on his hip. She"s bright-eyed and looking around. When she notices me, a cute smiles spreads across her face, and she reaches for me.

"I"d love that. Don"t you wanna stay with your dad?" I tilt my head to the side.

He gives me a look, that I can"t exactly read. "She"s used to you. In the past few weeks, you"re basically all she knows."

"She"s a kid." I remind him. "It"s going to change who she enjoys, and who she looks to. Right now, I"m giving her the time you can"t. It does not mean she loves you less. She looks for you all the time, Shane."

"I know, and I appreciate what you"ve done for her. I couldn"t have asked for someone better than you."

"Yes you could"ve, but don"t think I"m to be praised so much. I knew what I was getting into, Shane. This was a transaction." I don"t know if I"m reminding him or myself. "Not to say I don"t love her, I do. Rachel has wiggled her way into my heart in a way I"d never considered before. I hadn"t actually ever thought about having kids, or a husband after what happened with my last boyfriend. Regardless of what happens with us, thank you for reminding me that there are good things possible with couples."

He scratches his chest. "I"m not sure if that makes me feel better or not, but I understand there are complicated feelings here."

"There are, but I want you to know I"m happy."

"I"m glad. I want you to be happy."

And I want him to be happy too.

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We"re walking around downtown a few hours later, he"s holding Rachel against his chest, and I"m trying to keep my heart from flittering as I watch the two of them. The interesting thing about this marriage so far is that we haven"t spent much time together. Between the two of us, we"ve honestly been living two separate lives. The only common denominator has been the marriage and Rachel. We have to find something that we both agree on and enjoy besides these two things.

"Oh, this stuff is so cool." I stop at one of the booths that has crocheted flowers. "You don"t have to water them, they don"t die. I can"t keep them alive at all." I finger the material.

"Those are nice," Shane says as he stands behind me. "I never would"ve thought about crocheted flowers."

"Me neither." I set them down. "We might have to come back here."

Together we continue walking through the booths that have been set up. Shane stops us after about an hour. "I think I"m gonna have to go change her diaper."

I reach out with my hands and motion for her to come over. "Chances are there is nothing in the men"s bathroom, but there"ll be one in the women"s. We"ll see you in a few minutes."

"Go with Mom," he says, handing her over to me. "Oh shit, I"m sorry, I didn"t mean to say that."

The word warms a place inside me that I wasn"t aware was cold. "It"s okay. Maybe one day she"ll think of me the same way." Walking to the women"s room, I do my best to keep my emotions in check.