14. Joss

Chapter 14

Joss

I was floating on endorphins and fantasies as Torin pressed his lips to mine. Still completely shocked by what he'd said, I opened my mouth and his tongue tentatively brushed across the tip of mine.

We both shifted positions at the same time. Torin leaned back as I pushed against him until I was lying on top of him across the sofa. Neither of us could pretend not to notice the pair of hard cocks pressed between us, but mine was painfully restricted in those fucking tight shorts.

Everything that was happening and the pressure around my middle was making me dizzy, so I kissed him harder, gnashing teeth and tongues together as I lowered my inside pair of underwear below my balls so they had some space.

Torin took my unveiling as an invitation and followed my hand below my sweats, teasing my head with the tip of his finger as I forgot how to breathe.

"Yes, Daddy. Take what you want. It's all yours."

"Fuck, Joshua." His full grip closed around my shaft, and he began to stroke me slowly from base to tip. "I'd forgotten how big and thick you are."

Finally, hearing him talk to me like that again—touch me like that—was too much. Within seconds, I was right there at the edge, doing my best to hold back when all I wanted was to explode in his grip. "I'm close, Torin."

Torin's mouth crashed against mine as he kissed me like it was the first and last time all mixed together. He continued to stroke my length furiously while keeping every nerve in my body lit like a match. "God, I've missed you. I didn't even realize how much until this moment." He licked along my chin and closed his teeth on my earlobe as he humped against my thigh.

I did nothing to relieve him. All I could do was fist his shirt like I might fly away if I wasn't physically grounded to him. "Me too. So much."

"Come for me, Joshua. Come for Daddy."

"Fuck." I arched my back, allowing every bit of my willpower to break free. The pent-up energy within me as well as the emotion I'd been holding back for so long. I shot a thick stream inside my shorts and against my belly as tears streamed down my face. God, I hoped he meant it this time.

"Shh." Torin kissed my cheeks and eyelids, holding me tightly even as he teased my balls with his slick fingers. "It's okay, Joshua. I've got you. I promise, I'm not letting go."

I choked out a sob as my arms slipped under his neck, holding him to me like he might slip away. "Don't make a promise you can't keep."

He kissed my mouth, softer this time. It was just warm lips on mine with a soft tease of his tongue while I took shuddering breaths between swipes. "I will, though. I'm ready."

For several minutes, I couldn't speak. It was too much to believe what he was saying was true, so I just sat there, clinging to Torin to keep the moment from fading.

"Let's get you to bed." His hand slid down to my hips and he lifted me off him.

I looked away and sucked in a slow breath, finally feeling composed again. "Yeah, okay. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Never be sorry for how you feel. I deserve your pain and fear and frustration." He sat up and tilted my head so I was facing him again. "And I hope that someday, I'll deserve your admiration and trust and… maybe more than that."

I wanted to tell him he already had it all. He owned every part of me since that first night he snuck in my window. But he was right. We needed more time. I trusted Torin with my life, but I wasn't sure I could trust him with my heart. That would take more time.

After slowly stretching, I got up and padded toward my room. Once I got inside, I pulled off my shirt and headed toward the bathroom to shower.

Torin reached for my arm and stopped me. "Joshua?"

This was it. This was the easy letdown. I looked at him, unable to ever resist when I heard him say my name like that. "Yeah?"

"You know where to find me if you need anything."

I held his gaze and saw nothing but sincerity. "I know. Good night."

Torin leaned forward and kissed my cheek before slipping out of my room, gently closing the door behind him.

What was actually happening?

After my shower and pumping, I set an alarm for 3 AM and fell right to sleep. The alarm seemed to go off about five seconds after I fell asleep, but when I checked the monitor, Bella was still soundly asleep in her crib.

"Thank god!" I set another alarm for five and passed out again.

When I woke up the second time, Torin was giving Bella her morning bottle. He was softly talking to her so gave them some bonding time and decided to bake some muffins for breakfast.

I was just pulling the tray out of the oven when Torin walked in and stopped behind me. "Good morning, Joss."

"Morning." I stood up and put the tray on the counter, then turned slightly toward him.

I wasn't even fully around before he pulled me to his body and softly kissed my lips. "Did you sleep well?"

I was dumbstruck for a second, partially shocked that he didn't regret last night and also that he was openly holding and kissing me, even with Bella in his arms. Leaning forward again, I pecked his lips and then dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I slept very well, thank you. I checked on Bella in the middle of the night and she was still out. Did she sleep through the night?"

A huge grin covered Torin's face. "Ten hours, baby." He was a little giddy in his excitement as he bounced Bella in his arm and looked down at her. "Isn't that right, sweet girl? You slept all night so Daddy and Joss could get some rest too."

Her eyes stayed locked on his face as he spoke, but she didn't seem particularly interested in his words. She was as smitten with her daddy as I was.

"That's amazing. Hopefully, that was the start of a new trend."

Torin sighed wistfully. "You have no idea how nice that would be. Well, you do know because you've been getting up with her lately, but if we could actually sleep all through the night…" He barked out a low scoff. "I wouldn't walk around like such a zombie anymore."

I held out my arms to take her from him, and Torin readily handed her over. "Well, then let me take her while you have a muffin, and then I might go run some errands lately. We could definitely use some groceries."

"Yeah, these smell delicious." Torin pulled a muffin out of the tray and bounced it between his hands for a minute until it cooled off. "And hot!"

I sat down at the dining table and chatted with Bella until Torin came over and stood facing me. He took a bite of the muffin and then moaned. "These are really good, Joshua." He broke a piece off the top and held it up to my mouth. "Have a bite."

I opened my mouth and let him gently put the piece on my tongue. "Thank you," I said around the bite as I chewed it.

Torin took a few steps back then leaned on the counter, still staring at me. "I really like this."

I was pretty sure I knew what he was talking about and felt the same way. But I needed to hear him say it. I would need to hear him say it for a long time before I fully believed it. "What's that?"

"This." He waved between the two of us. "Me and you. With Bella. Having breakfast together. You look good in my life."

I chuckled, deciding to keep it light. "I've been trying to tell you that forever. Next time, just listen to me.'

He laughed as he came back and kissed me again, this time more soundly on my mouth. "You've always been the smart one."

Maybe he really is more serious about us this time.