29. Luna

TWENTY-NINE

luna

A week passed without mention of Zain's father or what we were going to do about it. Zain had been attentive and yet distant, always checking in to see if I needed anything, but his head seemed like it was a million miles away.

Even when I spent the night in his arms, it felt like there was a wall between us that had never been there before.

"Luna?" Zain called, his voice groggy from sleep.

I wiped away a bit of flour that clung to my cheek as he padded into the kitchen. Humming at him in response, I kept mixing my dough.

"What are you doing?" He asked, watching me work.

"I couldn't sleep."

So I'd come down to the kitchen to make a batch of cookies to calm my racing mind. There was a book open on the counter I'd stolen from the library, too. Not that I was doing much reading. I hadn't been able to focus on the page all morning.

A yawn freed itself from my lips. I'd been feeling extra tired lately. Maybe it was from the dreams that kept me up at night. The visions all involved his father and the crown. Something bad was coming, and I was completely at a loss for what it was .

Zain wrapped his arms around me, clearly not caring about my mess. "Come back to bed, wife," he murmured in my ear.

"Hmm?"

He frowned, curling a finger around my ear to push a strand of hair back. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I shook my head, forcing a smile onto my face. "Everything's fine. But… has something happened?" My voice was subdued. Quiet.

Because if that future came to pass, this entire realm would be bathed in blood.

"Nothing you have to worry about," he insisted.

"But—"

Maybe I needed to worry him. Tell him about what I'd seen. As my magic got stronger, so did the visions I was seeing. How many of them were real?

Zain kissed my forehead. "How are you feeling?"

I blinked up at him, surprised by his sudden change of subject. "Fine, why?"

He swallowed roughly. "No reason."

"Okay… Well, how's everything with your dad?"

After running into him in the hallway, I was even more cautious about bringing him up around Zain. It instantly made his body go on edge, and the tension that ran through his enormous frame made me worry."The bastard won't step back. Even though I've been practically running this place for years, he just... I didn't want this to end in violence. And if he succeeded, passed down the crown, then it wouldn't have to." A deep sigh came from his throat.

"So we should do it." I was ready. I felt more confident in my powers than I ever had before. And I'd been studying spells in the library, which had given me an idea. "I told you I'd help." I placed my hand on his shoulder. "I feel like I'm just sitting around doing nothing." Looking down at my feet, I stared at my ring. "As your wife, I feel like I should be doing more for you."

Zain shook his head, wrapping a hand around my neck and pulling me in closer. "You're doing exactly what I need. Being here for me. Just letting me hold you is all I need."He took a deep pull of my scent.

"If you're sure..." I whispered, still wishing I could do more to calm him.

"You smell so good today," Zain groaned, running his tongue along my neck. "What's that smell?"

I blushed. "I might have commandeered the kitchen to make scones and cookies. There's still some left, actually." I grabbed the bowl, unwrapping the cloth that was covering them. "Do you want one?"

His eyebrow raised. "Do I want one?"Had I ever seen him eat sweets besides mine? Not really. But he smirked, reaching over and grabbing one out from underneath the cloth. Zain took a bite."Mmm. What's in this?"

"Lemon and lavender scones. They're my favorite." Comfort food. The floral and the citrus surprisingly balanced each other out, and I loved the result. Plus, I'd made the icing from scratch that I drizzled on top.

"Like you," he mused.

"Huh?"

"You should make them more often," he said, taking another bite.He didn't offer further explanation for his other comment.

"I guess I should," I said, humming as I popped one into my mouth, too. I felt more like myself when I was baking as if I was figuring out who I was now. It had been a long time since I'd felt content. Even before leaving Pleasant Grove, I'd been... unsettled. Wanting something more.

I'd told him I needed a purpose, and that was true. I couldn't be his broodmare or just some pretty trophy to sit on a throne. But maybe what I really needed was him. Knowing he loved me.

I might not have had something to do every day, but deep in my bones, I felt... alive like I never had before. Happy.All of that had to do with one thing. Zain. I rested my head on his shoulder.

I'd just let my eyes drift shut for a moment, and then I'd get back to it.

Just a moment…

Blood. There was so much blood.

Zain. Where was Zain?

Lifeless bodies surrounded me. Weapons discarded on the ground where they'd fallen. Kairos's dark skin, Lilith and her beautiful wings, Asura's eyes open and lifeless, and even Thorn and Talon are together in life and death. They were all gone.

My knees gave out, and I fell to the ground, screaming in agony.

"Zain," I begged. "Please. You said you wouldn't leave me. You promised."

I couldn't control the tears that dripped from my eyes. The power felt like it was flowing out of my body until not a speck of that beautiful light I'd grown so used to was left.

And what remained? Nothing. Chaos. Destruction. Death.

This was Hell—the demon realm—on fire.

The Demon King sat on his throne, laughing, as the bodies continued to pile up around me.

"You'll pay for this," I said, cursing him with everything I had. But it wasn't enough, not without my mate, not without Zain, not without?—

"Luna," Zain's voice sounded murky like it was far away. Like I was underwater. "Luna, baby. You have to wake up. Come back to me."

"Zain?" I mumbled, my hand clutching his shirt in a death grip. My eyes opened, and I was in his lap, being rocked and cradled like an infant.

"Thank the fates. You scare me half to death when you do that."

I blinked. "That wasn't the first time?"

Zain pressed a cool cloth to my forehead. "No. I don't know what sets them off, but I can never get you to wake up. You're always stuck in these trances, and I?—"

"What?" The concern in his voice filled me with fear. "What's wrong?"

"Luna. You're bleeding."

"Oh." I looked down, drops of blood soaking through the front of the nightgown. "I—" My throat choked up. "I'm probably just starting my period." My eyes squeezed shut. It would be fine. I'd get through this, just like I did everything else. I would not cry over this, too.

"Do you need anything? I'll go get Novalie and?—"

I grabbed the sleeves of his jacket. "Don't go. Please. I can't lose you."

"What do you mean?" He frowned. "I'm not going anywhere. I just want to take care of you."

"No." I shook my head, blinking away the tears. "Listen to me. I saw—" What good were my powers, my abilities if no one listened to me? If he didn't take me seriously? "Destruction. Death. And blood. There was so much blood." I choked. "Zain, please. You can't leave me alone. You promised." All I knew was in all the nightmares, I was alone. He'd gone without me.

Why was I so weak? Worthless? I'd promised myself that when I came here, I'd learn more about my powers. That I'd get stronger.

And maybe I had, but… it wasn't enough. I'd never be enough, would I? A sob worked its way free.

He scooped me up in his arms, cradling me to his chest. "I won't leave you. If I could, I'd never let you out of my sight again."

"I know what you're planning," I said, because it was obvious. "You're going to do it alone." Zain swallowed before giving me a tiny dip of his head. "You can't ." I felt like I was fighting for my future— our future. "You can't do it alone. He'll kill you."

His hand closed over mine as he kissed my knuckles. "Moonbeam. I would destroy the world for you. Forsake any plans I'd ever made just to keep you safe. To give you everything you've ever wanted. A happy life. The one you deserved. But I—" His voice cracked. "I have to keep you safe. If anything happened to you…"

"I know." My voice was soft. Subdued.

I hated it, but I knew he was right because I felt the same.

If anything happened to him, the world would be bathed in blood. And it would be me at its helm. The power in my blood thrummed at the thought, at the idea that I would do anything to avenge my mate if he was harmed. If something took him from me.

"Luna," he murmured, brushing his hand over my cheek. "Your eyes are glowing, baby."

"Huh?" I blinked a few times, feeling the rage clear from my system.

"There's my girl." His golden eyes were warm—full of love, and more tears dripped from my eyes. "My mate. "

I nodded because if I opened my mouth, I would lose it.

"I love you," he said, not a hint of hesitation in his voice. "And everything I've done—everything in my life—it'll all be worth it. As long as I have you."

"You do," I choked out, letting the tears fall freely from my eyes. "You do have me."

I knew he couldn't abandon his people. His world. He was their protector as much as he was mine.

"I—" I wanted to say it, but the words were stuck in my throat. What was I scared of?

He cupped my cheek. "You don't have to say it back. I just needed you to know."

"Okay," I whispered.

But if he loved me, why did it feel like he was slowly slipping away from me?

Normally, the food here was incredible. But tonight, something on the table smelled rancid. I couldn't tell what it was, but my stomach wasn't tolerating it. Covering my mouth and nose with my hand, I did my best not to breathe too deeply.

"I'm so sorry," I announced, standing up without preamble, giving a small nod to those sitting around us. "I'm not feeling well, so I think I'm going to retire early." Pasting a fake smile on my face, I bid them all a good night.

Zain frowned, grabbing my hand. "Want me to come with you?"

I shook my head. "No. I'll be fine. Just stay here." I brushed my hand over his shoulder. Leaning down, I pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I won't be too long," he promised, though I waved him off. Even if he didn't enjoy it, when he was schmoozing, sometimes he would lose track of time for hours.

I didn't mind as long as I was away from the smell.

Pulling the door open, I headed towards my room, wishing I had Willow here to give me advice. Suddenly, I was feeling so alone.

Talon followed behind me all the way back to my rooms. Ever the loyal guard dog.

"I want to be alone," I announced when we were in front of my door.

"Of course." He dipped his head.

"Thank you," I whispered back before slipping into my room.

I let myself sag against the door for only a moment before seeking out Selene. I might not have been able to hug my sister, but at least I could snuggle with my familiar. At least she always seemed to understand what I was feeling.

I needed something to calm my stomach. Grabbing the pillow off Zain's bed, I inhaled deeply. It smelled like him, that scent helping to settle my nerves.

Sliding on top of the covers, I sat upright and thought about everything he'd said last night as I cradled his pillow in my arms. Why hadn't I said it back?

I was scared. Scared to admit how attached to him I was. Even now, his scent was the only thing that could calm my racing heart. Scared that he was slipping away from me, and even love wouldn't save us.

"Luna?" Novalie repeated, like she'd been calling for me for some time.

"Huh?" I turned, toying with the pendant around my neck.

"How are you feeling?"

I wished everyone would stop asking.

"Fine," I said through a yawn. "Just a little tired. "

Luckily, the nausea had abated some, though my worry had not. I hadn't been able to stop worrying about Zain. It was taking a toll on my body. I'd thought I was starting my period, but there had been no more blood today, so I couldn't even blame it on that.

Novalie hummed, moving around the room and dusting. "Would you like me to help you get undressed?"

Frowning, I looked down at the gown I was still wearing from tonight's banquet, before looking back out the window.

It would be winter now in Pleasant Grove. Had the first snow of the season happened yet? We were well into December now. I always loved the winter, when icicles hung from the eaves of our house and the snow glittered in the sun. But the demon realm was the same as when I'd gotten here, hardly even a slight nip to the air.

"Maybe later," I mumbled, adjusting the pillow.

"My lady, forgive me for asking, but…" She hesitated, like she knew she was overstepping, but couldn't help but ask. "Are you…" Novalie trailed off.

"Am I?" I looked up at her, and then my cheeks warmed. "Oh. I?—"

It was too soon to tell. Wasn't it? I could do the math. Maybe I just hadn't wanted to. Hadn't wanted to acknowledge the changes, the truth that was going to change everything. I was exhausted. My breasts were tender. I'd peed more in the last week than I could ever remember.

When was the last time I'd gotten my period? I tried to rifle through my brain. Truthfully, I'd never been great at keeping up with my cycle, and that, plus all the added stress, meant I hadn't kept track. But I definitely hadn't touched the box of tampons I'd brought from home.

I touched my stomach, wondering if it could be true. Somehow, the idea hadn't felt real. Not till right now .

I'd agreed to it when Zain had brought it up, and couldn't believe how much I enjoyed begging him to put a baby in me. But it hadn't even been two months since I'd left my home. I'd expected it to take longer.

"I think I'm going to take a bath now, Novalie. And then I'd like to be alone for a while."

She gave me a small bow. "Of course, my lady. Just call for me if you need anything."

I nodded at her, though I was hardly listening to a word she said as I left the cozy bed, Zain's pillow forgotten as I padded into the baths.

All I needed was a moment to clear my mind. To process.

My robe and nightgown were quickly shed, and I stared at my naked form in the mirror.

When had I become the woman looking back at me? I didn't even feel like the same person I'd been before I came here. Before I found out that demons were real.

Before I'd learned that my soulmate was the heir to the demon throne. I wore his ring on my finger—his mark on my neck.

I stared at my belly, still flat. And yet…

Could I really be…?

"Hi," I whispered, smoothing a hand over my stomach. A little jolt ran through me, and a smile curved over my lips. "If you're in there…" The idea had just sprung into my mind, but Goddess , I wanted it to be real.

Was there a demon realm version of a pregnancy test? This place wasn't that far behind the human world in technology—after all, there were electric lights and running water—but the idea of asking for one made my cheeks heat. Or maybe it was something that Zain could sense?

Maybe I could go visit Willow. It could wait, right? I'd wait until Zain got back, and then I'd tell him. Then we'd find out. Together.

My eyes shut as I dipped my toes into the bath. Sinking down into the warm water, I let a small moan slip from my lips at how good it felt against my skin.

I needed to wash my hair, which was already getting greasy and stringy, but all I wanted to do was soothe my aching muscles.

A knock sounded at the door, and I frowned. I knew it wasn't my husband because Zain's presence always gave me that fuzzy warmth, which I knew now was because of our soulmate bond. Plus, he would have just teleported himself to wherever I was.

"Talon?" I called out, wondering who else would interrupt me. I'd told Novalie I wanted to be alone. No one responded. Standing up, I pulled a plush bathrobe on.

"Novalie?" I asked, a rush of apprehension running through me. Zain had promised me I was safe here. Protected.

My eyes squeezed shut. Zain. I searched for him, the call of his senses responding to me down our mental bond. No one else should be in here. Not with the wards Zain had created. Not when?—

Peeking open the door, I found the butler standing there, a tray of food in his hands.

"I'm sorry," I said, gagging at the scent. "I didn't ask for any food."

He appeared unbothered by my statement. "I was told to bring this to your room since you'd left dinner early."

"By whom?" I went to close the door. Something didn't feel right. Every sense I had told me to get away from this demon.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, my lady." His foot kicked in the door, and I tightened my robe around myself.

"You need to leave." I felt my power surging up through my hands, and I held them up, wondering if a sudden burst could stop him enough for me to flee.

To find Zain. Talon. Where was my guard? And why had I told him he could go?

I winced as something sharp poked into my arm—my eyes widening as I looked at the demon in front of me. His devilish grin.

" No ," I whispered.

And then the world went black.