Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

GRAYSON

T hey say the descent into madness is a slow and steady decline . . . they lied.

Thirst burned my throat like a smoking hot poker that scorched me from the inside out. I pressed my hand to my neck, hoping the pressure would somehow stop the fire within. All it did was cut off the air to my lungs. If only I could die like this . Death was not a luxury I'd be afforded at this time though. Atlas' face flashed through my mind, and I was reminded of his vow to me. It would only be a matter of time before he found me, so death may not come when I prayed for it, but it would come in time. There was comfort in that.

My stomach felt sloshy like I'd drunk my fill and then some. I knew I'd taken blood on this night, but the memories of how I'd done so were fleeting and hazy. I heard the echo of screams in my ears, felt the ache in my hands from the destruction I wrought, and scented the blood that wasn't my own. Flashes of throwing furniture and feeble humans ran through my mind. Guilt, madness, and pain all warred within my body, each one taking their turn to torment me. My heart was a pit that twisted in my chest, and at times felt so empty I was a mere shell. At other times, it felt so heavy I might suffocate under the weight of emotions I could no longer endure.

I tried to gain my bearings. I looked around at my surroundings and had no idea where I was or how I'd gotten here. The night sky began to lighten to purple, and I knew the sun would soon come. I crouched down in a heavily wooded area and leaned back against a tree trunk. The bark bit into my back, but I couldn't stop myself from rocking back and forth against it. I pressed my hands to my temples, hoping to squeeze the torturous voice from it. The cool air did nothing to calm the raging fire I felt burning in my throat, down my chest, and through my body. I was sure I killed innocents tonight, innocent people who didn't deserve to take the brunt of my madness. If I were a Night Spawn, I'd have met the sun by now. But my royal blood made it impossible to die that way. At least until my best friend finally found me.

I shook my head, unsure if he already started hunting me or not. The memories were foggy at best. I knew we'd fought. I felt the injuries to my body. They were slow to heal and ached all over. I'd been thrown but then again so had he. The smell of blood that was not my own filled my nose, and when I looked down at my hands, they were coated in crimson. I bellowed and pulled at my hair, throwing my head back against the tree. I looked to the sky, hoping my prayers for death would soon be answered. Piper had to suffer this, and I would not drag her down with me. She was perfect in every sense of the word. She didn't deserve what I'd done to her. I squeezed my eyes shut and was tortured by visions of striking out at her, hurting her. I'd covered her body in scratches and bruises.

Fuck. I bit her . . . like a bloody animal.

"Kill me. Please. Just kill me." I murmured the pleading words to myself as I rocked in the darkness. The forest around me had gone still, the animals all aware of the bloodthirsty predator that roamed through these obscure paths.

Now, now, there's no need to die. What a waste that'd be, the voice that plagued me all this time whispered through my mind. It was not my own and I had no idea where it came from or if it was even real. But it was smooth and deep, lulling me to do things I'd never think of on my own. Depraved things, things that would surely earn me a death sentence from The Fallen. It was so . . . enticing. I could hardly stop from listening to its tempting lulling tone.

"No!" I smacked the sides of my head. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Sure, I'll quiet if . . .

The words trailed off and I held my breath, waiting for the voice to finish the sentence. If I could but get a bit of quiet, I could find a way to end this. But the bouts of lucidity were few and far between, and each time I'd fallen to the voice it'd been when Piper was there to see me, to witness the monster I'd become. I looked down at the soulmate mark that I would've been so proud to wear had this cursed life not taken me from her.

"If? If what?" I rose to my feet, yelling my words to no one in particular.

I stumbled forward, tripping over tree roots. Low-hanging branches scraped against my skin and pulled at my hair. That voice gave a deep chuckle, like my behavior was entertaining. This wretched state of being was funny to it. It relished my suffering. And I hated it more for the poison it spread through my mind.

If you do me this favor, vampire . . .

Visions of what it wanted me to do filled my mind. One after the other I saw exactly the steps it wanted me to take, the grotesque things I would be pushed to execute. I shook my head. "No! I won't do it!"

The visions came faster and stronger. One after another hit me until I lost my breath and fell to the ground. Pain exploded behind my eyes, and I rolled on the ground clutching my head. Mud coated my chest and what was left of my trousers. My mind slipped from me, and I once again belonged to the voice, belonged to him .

I chuckled and nodded, feeling the last tendrils of sanity slip away. I found peace in the voice and the things it wanted me to do. The pain was no more, and my thirst felt delightfully wicked. Laughter rumbled in my chest, and I spread my arms wide over the ground, loving the cool earth at my fingertips.

Those whispers and images came so fast it was all I could see, all I could hear. "Yes, yes of course. I'll do it."