Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

MOIRA

I 'd spent a lifetime with my features placid, my words soft, and my clothing modest. Even now the material itched at my neck and pulled tight around my shoulders. The boning in my dress poked into my sides with every breath I took. The material, though light and flowing, just tangled around my legs. Everything about it agitated me. Or was it standing here beside Titus and feeling helpless that made me realize how uncomfortable everything else in my life was? I sat perfectly, I spoke perfectly, I held my emotions at bay. Ever the elegant royal, I made this life the best it could be. But now all I felt was annoyance at the very act of being here, and yet I held still, taking in the conversation around me.

We were in a part of the castle that Titus rarely used, yet I knew it was intentional that we hid here. The room was a smaller dining room with a large wooden circular table. The chairs were high-backed with thick wooden arms on each one. The cushions were plush underneath us, and I could tell that some of our guests were not accustomed to it. It was the way I'd been when I first arrived here.

Sanchita and Prisha moved their chairs closer together as though just being next to each other was soothing to them, and Martin took his seat across from me as if he owned the space around him. He gave me a warm smile as he pulled his iPad out and used the cover to make it stand on the table. He slid his fingers over it, and the blue light of the screen illuminated his face.

"Thank you for having us here." He met my eye and there was something so strong and pleasant about him that for the first time in a while I smiled.

"I think you all are just what we need."

Sanchita's eyebrows rose, and she pressed an earnest hand over her chest. "Thank you so much, your, um . . ."

I lifted my hand, stopping her from calling me your majesty . "Just Moira, please."

"I couldn't agree with Moira more." Eloura strode into the room with her head held high. The cane she used tapped the hard stone floor with each step she took. She moved farther into the room and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Good to see you, old friend."

"I'm pleased you're here with me." It was about time that Eloura took her place among society as well as taking the reins with the Blood Borns.

Titus walked in behind her and shoved the doors closed in his wake. He spun around to face the table. "Good. My most trusted advisors have assembled."

At his words the others all showed signs of their surprise. Prisha and Sanchita wore the same jaw dropping expression while Martin nodded and smirked to himself. It was like he knew this was where he belonged, and he was just waiting for others to catch on to that fact. Eloura too held her chin up, giving the King an about time you noticed look.

I motioned for her to take the seat beside me. "Please join me."

"With pleasure." She pulled the chair out, and her dress rustled as she took her seat.

Titus paced back and forth behind his chair, looking down at us. "As you all know, last night the attack on The House of Shade changed the course of things. Now we must react appropriately."

Sanchita raised her hand, and Titus motioned to her. "Please speak freely, We do not need to raise our hands."

"Your Majesty, the Night Spawn are worried that The House of Shade will retaliate against them even if they weren't involved with Marius."

"The trouble is the Blood Borns are going to want to punish this offense," Eloura countered, "which I agree with to a point. The problem is the lines are muddy."

"Not to mention Clive will use this as an opportunity to try to overthrow you and oppress the Night Spawn," I added. They all looked at me. I shrugged. "What? It's true."

"That's very insightful of you," Eloura murmured.

"He's not to be trusted," I snapped, and Titus raised his eyebrows at me. I met his eye. "What?"

"I don't think I've ever heard you so . . . robust before." His voice was low and calm.

"Perhaps I've been quiet for too long," I countered, and the others at the table watched the two of us go back and forth.

"I welcome it." He seemed pleased I had more to say, and that was enough to make me want to say less.

Sanchita raised her hand again, and Titus motioned to her. "If we're going to do this, you must speak."

"The only way to make this work is to know who's with us and who's against us. If we are going to punish the traitors, then we can't just go around hurting innocent vampires. It has to be a precise strike."

Her words fell heavy in the room. Martin slid his fingers over the screen in front of him. "We can try to determine that through some of their habits and purchases."

Titus sat forward, and I could read the shock on his face as he shifted in his seat. "You can do that?"

Martin looked up from his iPad. "I can do anything you need, Your Majesty."

Prisha nodded at him, then turned to the rest of us. "Sanchita and I will go snooping in the Night Spawn headquarters. We need to see how deep this sickness goes. We've been thinking, and Marius is tied to it somehow. We just don't know how. Made-vampires aren't built for that kind of power, and I wonder where it's coming from."

"I agree with you all. But we can't have you putting yourselves in danger," Titus interjected.

Before any of them could argue, I cleared my throat. "They are old enough to do this and can be trusted. If we can send Grayson out to fight with the witches, then they can do some snooping around their own familiar surroundings. It won't look out of place and won't set off alarms the way it would if the Blood Borns did."

Titus pulled his chair out and dropped down into it. "I can't be doing with sending them into unnecessary danger."

"But it was okay for Grayson?" My voice was almost argumentative, a distant cry from the soft tone I normally took with him.

"No, of course not?—"

"— Then they are more than capable."

Titus held his breath for a moment, looking taken aback by my words. But why shouldn't they be able to do what they say? He blew out a breath. "I do believe it is imperative we find out who can be trusted in our world."

"Seconded." Eloura tapped her cane on the ground. "I will look into the Blood Borns. The creator knows they expect me to get all the gossip. It will be easily discerned within days."

Sanchita started to raise her hand when I gave her a slight shake of my head. "Martin will dive into their records while Prisha, and I will be able to start to figure out who betrayed us with Marius. They've all but disappeared."

Titus stared at me with those mahogany-flecked eyes that reminded me so much of Grayson's and Graymont's. The three of them were so similar. Right now I found it difficult to meet his direct gaze, yet I sat there and held it. He didn't look away. "Then we must proceed from there and find out how deep this goes on both sides. We cannot fight an enemy we cannot identify. But you will take backup with you. Jester will go."

"I agree."

Sanchita swallowed. "The . . . the soldier guy who captured me?"

Titus nodded. "He is more than capable, and he will blend in."

"I think we can do?—"

"—This is how it will be done," Titus said, cutting her off.

"Very well, Your Majesty." She nodded in agreement with him.

Titus rose to his feet. "Then so be it. We will meet back here in three days' time."

He stormed from the room, and though I felt he needed me, needed to talk to me, I just didn't have it in me to follow him. I barely had any of this in me anymore.

Eloura rose to her feet and headed toward me. "I take my leave and return with all the gossip one can stand."

"As always you are a comfort, old friend."

She paused next to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. She didn't look down at me to catch my eye. She squeezed her fingers and whispered, "You will always have my friendship."

I patted her fingers. "It is a good thing, because I will always have need of it."

She slipped her hand from mine and walked out the door. I leaned back and rested my arms on the chair. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and all I could do was sit there and shoulder it.

Martin and Prisha quickly followed, giving me a little bow as they left. But Sanchita hung back for a moment. "Your Maje . . . I mean, Moira, may I ask you a question?"

I waved her on. "Please do."

"You weren't born into this world of royal courts and such."

I nodded. "No, I was of course a member of the Blood Born class, but it was never my intention to become royal. Things like this kind of just get thrust upon us. Don't they?"

I knew Titus put her in this position, much to her own shock, but I could see why. Sanchita, Prisha, and Martin were all forward thinkers. They wanted what was best for the vampires, and Titus needed vampires like that surrounding him, especially now.

Sanchita gave a slow nod. "Yes, I feel like this is very sudden, and I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to be operating. Or how I'm supposed to behave?"

A smile played on my lips. I remembered a time when I too felt the same way and the panic almost changed the course of my own history. "There is only one thing you can do."

"What's that? Please, I need any advice you can offer." She rose from her chair and moved closer. Once she was beside me, she leaned against the table, waiting for me to say more.

"The only thing you can do in this situation is lift your chin and move forward in the best way you know how. Be honest, be forthright. Holding your tongue, especially now, will not serve the King or the vampires well. He seems to like you and with good reason. You are in touch with what is going on right now and that is important."

She shook her head. "But what if I overstep or my sister oversteps?"

I chuckled. "There is no doubt that you will. Because you are young and opinionated. The only thing I will say is to move forward with honest intentions and do it in the most respectful manner possible. The King favors honesty over protocol."She swallowed and her deep brown eyes looked like they'd shoot from her head at any moment. I reached up and gave her hand a pat. "You will find your way. Just be confident."

"Thank you, Moira. I will try." She lowered her voice. "I fear I worry more than Prisha does. And Martin is used to being in the castle and dealing with . . . well, everything."

"Yes, he's gifted in that way." I rose from the chair, feeling the stress ache all over my body. Between my son and the duties of the kingdom, I felt as though my insides were aging, though it would never show on the outside.

Sanchita stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight to her. I hesitated. It'd been ages since anyone hugged me like this. I found myself wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer, just holding her for a moment. Something inside me shifted, and I wanted to let my tears fall endlessly. It was as if the tight control I held was slipping bit by bit. With one hug I nearly fell apart.

I pulled back and cupped her cheek. "Go and do wonderful things."

She nodded and glided out of the door, leaving me there in this room by myself. I fell back into the chair and rested my hand against my head. I knew how she felt. I knew what it was like to take a step into a world you didn't feel you belonged in. I knew the feeling all too well. I'd felt it in this very room in a time long since forgotten.

Two Hundred Years Ago

I couldn't breathe. The dress was too tight, the veil too thick, the walls too close. White, everything was so white. I sat in a high-backed chair trying to catch the breaths that wouldn't come. Sweat beaded my brow and ran down my back into the layers of my dress. I shoved the veil out of my face and tossed the flowers on the table. My mother, a slight woman with brownish-red hair, paced back and forth in front of me.

"This is the choice you've made, Moira." She pressed her hand to her stomach. "A royal life none-the-less."

"Yes, Mother, I know. If I could but have a moment to myself. All will be well." I gave her my best smile.

My mother wasn't so easily fooled. She pursed her ruby lips and crossed her arms over her chest. "There'll be no frolicking among the trees for you anymore after this. Nor will there be walking barefoot through the mud. Honestly, is this what you really want?"

I loved him. "Surely marriage doesn't have to be viewed as the end of all things. It's simply moving on to a new phase."

"Do tell yourself that," she snapped.

I rose to my feet and pushed her toward the door. "They will need you outside for the ceremony, Don't keep them waiting, Mother."

In truth I craved a moment to myself. Her words were echoes of my own worries. I could hear all the vampires gathering in the throne room where we were to be married. I had to stand in front of them all and take unbreakable vows. The mere thought of that sent me into having panicked breaths.

Perhaps I couldn't do this? Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps this wasn't meant to be? Doubt like I'd never known flowed through my veins, and the need to run back to my home and safety of the fields and forests was nearly overwhelming. Alone in the room, the walls seemed to close in on me. I went to the door. I pressed my ear to it, hearing no one. I reached for the doorknob and yanked it open, ready to make a run for it back to my home and back to the safety of the life I knew. Who was I to think I could possibly manage in such a position in life?

I was two steps out the door when I nearly collided with a huge vampire. He reached his hands out steadying me and I sucked in a sharp breath. "Graymont . . . I?—"

"—Looked like you were about to run out of this castle as fast as your feet could carry you." He gave me a warm smile, and suddenly I felt foolish.

"I must admit, I was feeling a bit panicked." I blinked up at him, feeling like the words and feelings were silly now.

"Have you got doubts?" The smile fell from his face.

I shook my head. "No, I just . . . what if I fail at this?"

He guided me back into the room and closed the door . "Fail at what?"

"My royal duties. What if I fail the people?" As the words were pulled from my mouth, I felt a knot tighten in my chest. The possibility of failing at so much responsibility was daunting to say the least.

"How could you possibly?" A light smile played on his lips as though this was a silly notion.

"I do not jest." I put my hands on my hips.

"I have discussed this thoroughly with my brother, and he has all the faith in the world in you, as do I. And, well, if you have the faith of a King, there is not much else needed but the backbone to take the place that is rightfully yours."

I sucked in a deep breath. "Yes, you're right. Of course."

He kissed me on the cheek. "Now, shall we attend a wedding, or have you decided to run off?"

I sucked in a deep breath. Knowing that Titus also had faith in me brought a calm to my nerves I hadn't felt before. I nodded. "You know it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

"I hardly think that applies to me." He winked, ever the playful vampire.

A light knock came from the door and then it opened a crack. Familiar brown eyes peeked around the door as strands of wavy brown hair fell into his eyes. "What are you lot doing?"

"Marius, old friend, leave it to you to be pushing for punctuality." Graymont shook his head with a light chuckle.

Marius stepped through the door and let it fall shut behind him. "Well, there is a whole room full of vampires waiting."

"A whole room? You don't say. Intimidated to be around all those vampires?" Graymont teased.

Marius waved toward the door. "Of course not, but really, the wedding can't take place without you. It would ruin all appearances if you two didn't show up."

I smiled and a light giggle played on my lips. "Indeed, you are right. We have a wedding to attend."

I shook my head and turned for the door. How naive I'd been. How full of hope I'd been. How . . . unprepared I'd been for the future and this new reality where hope scarcely existed.