19. Florencia

19

Florencia

" C amazotz?" I screamed his name, but his grip faded from mine, the pressure of his fingers against my forehead still burning as I tumbled through a dark abyss.

"Camazotz!" My throat stung from screaming.

He didn't answer.

"Zotz!" A sob fell through my lips as my resolve broke, my legs buckling beneath me as I dropped my head into my hands and cried.

My voice echoed, his name ringing in my ears like a hoard of dozens calling for him. I felt myself collapse, my knees hitting the hard ground below me, my eyes too blurry and heavy with tears to see anything at all.

It was only when the pain in my heart faded to a dull throb that I lifted my head from my hands. Cold wind brushed against my skin, forcing me to wipe my tears from my cheeks and blink my eyes open. As real as my surroundings had felt when I stood on the edge of that cliff watching a battle unfold, they felt now, with the still warm concrete beneath me, and whistling of the wind beating against leafless trees.

I was home.

No, not home. I was sitting in the middle of the road, confetti still scattered all around the blacktop, remnants of trash waiting to be swept away by maintenance workers. I looked all around me, but there were no people out, no sign of life, only the dark night and the stars above us.

I lifted my chin to the skin, examining it like a long-lost friend. I was home. This was the real world. There was the moon, glimmering in all her celestial beauty, the constellations, the plain sky that didn't glow with purple magical lights.

I was home.

And by the looks of it, it was still the night of the Halloween Parade.

Was it still All Hallow's Eve? I had been gone for days, I could feel it, despite the fact The Nightmare Kingdom was an endless night, despite the way time felt meaningless there.

Panic began to bubble at my chest—the need to find my sisters, to tell them what happened, to see if they could help me get back–

Getting back.

That was suddenly the only thing I could think of. I loved my sisters more than anyone on this planet. I loved being a Morales, I loved our coven.

Yet, I didn't belong here. This wasn't home, and every cell in my body knew it.

In Helios, I discovered myself.

In Helios, I accepted the truest version of myself.

In Helios, the chaos, the incredible, the horrific, it all made sense.

Here, there was only pain, confusion, and living in fear of losing myself in somebody else's dreams.

Suddenly, the need to run home was gone, the desire and ache to find my sisters, to embrace them and laugh with them empty. There was only one thing I needed, only one thing I wanted.

My destiny.

"Camazotz!" I shouted again like a madwoman, wondering if the people in our town would wake and find me screaming in the middle of an empty street.

But Camazotz would not come. I knew that.

Everything was broken, nothing was as it should have been, and somehow, I felt as if I was the one who put all our fates on the line. I disrupted the course set out for us.

I was calling for the wrong brother.

"Elio." His name tore from my throat like a savage war cry, but the only response I received was a distant caw from a crow overhead.

"God of Dreams!" I demanded, hitting the asphalt with my fist. "Elio!" I dragged his name out until it faded from my tongue, but still, nothing.

"I know you can feel I'm not there anymore. Get your ass over here!" I commanded him, but nothing happened.

Another sob broke free before I realized that a god could stray from his destiny. Elio was a little boy throwing a tantrum, upset that his brother won my heart before I could be tricked by the beast hiding under the guise of the beautiful man he wore.

And why wouldn't I?

It took so little to see that Camazotz's existence was buried in the shadow of what Elio was meant to represent. There was no good, no evil; there were simply two gods, two kings, and they both wanted me. One swore I was his destiny, but the other, the other felt like my destiny.

If I was truly fated for Elio, he would come for me, despite the anger and hatred he might have felt seeing the way I looked at Camazotz.

I moved to the center of the road, lying down and taking nearly the full width of the street with my body. I had no idea what time it was, when people would be getting up and heading for work, but eventually, morning would come.

That was the one certainty the human world taught me, the one thing that eased my anxiety every night I spent trapped in someone else's terror.

Morning always came.

"You'll want to hurry," I shouted into the air, as if Elio could hear me. "When the humans wake up, it'll only take one car to make me go splat." I twiddled my thumbs over my stomach nervously. "A dead queen won't do you any good!"

I felt ridiculous, shouting nonsense into the night sky, hoping a god could hear me and answer my prayers.

"Who said you had to be alive to fulfill any prophecies?" I felt the smooth tone of his vibrato rumble deep in my core.

I whipped my head to the side, my back still flat on the road. "Elio."

He was leaning against a streetlamp, his back to the pole and one foot propped against it, his arms crossed over his chest, making him look so human, so ungodly.

His wings were gone, likely a product of crossing over to our world.

Was he here? Was this just an illusion?

I scrambled to my knees, wiping the tears from my face as I looked him over. He truly was stunning, breathtakingly beautiful, and even the scowl on his face only painted him more attractive.

"Take me back," I said, coming to a stand.

He tilted his head to the side, mimicking a dog lost in confusion. "Why would I do that?"

"You said I'm your queen, your soulmate." I didn't move toward him, too afraid of rejection or possibly something worse.

His eyes drifted to my chest, where the nightgown was still torn, but beneath it were now healed scars, in the same shape as the one on his brother's face. Pain, maybe even regret, danced over his features for just a split second before he shook it away.

"You want him." He stated it so plainly, the words nearly forced me to recoil when they hit me.

I couldn't lie, not about this.

"I do." With a swallow, I met his eyes. "But if you are my fate, then there is no use fighting it, is there?"

A soft smile curled one side of his lips, but it wasn't kindness I found there. "Now you understand. It matters not what we want, what we desire, what we crave. This is the path, and not following it will only wreak havoc and destruction upon the lives of humanity. The lives of those you love."

His words almost felt like a threat, though I knew it wasn't one he would fulfill. Not marrying him, not following what fate had woven for us, was dangerous, and messing with plans set out for gods would have consequences far beyond us.

Just like Camazotz promised.

With shaky limbs, I stepped forward, my arm trembling as I reached for him.

The spin was nauseating, disorienting, and left me feeling like a soaked towel hanging out to dry. I feared I'd never get used to it, but there was a piece of me that knew this would be the last time.

My feet hit the ground, the cold in the air nipping at my nose as we plunged into darkness. Every atom of my body felt relieved, as if somehow, it could tell we were back in Helios.

The darkness took me by surprise though. "Are we…in the Nightmare Kingdom?" I asked Elio, who was already walking so far ahead of me, I could no longer see him in the pitch black of the endless night.

"No." His response was as cold as I felt.

I knew we weren't in The Nightmare Kingdom. It wasn't possible, because Elio was here, and I had already summed up that The Dream God could not step foot in his brother's land. Yet, this looked nothing like the warm, bright beauty the Dream Kingdom promised the first time I entered.

I hugged myself for warmth until it seemed we had reached the walls of the castle. "Why is it dark?"

A low sound from the darkness proved Elio was too annoyed with me for explanations, but I couldn't make sense of it. Everything was different, nothing the way I remembered.

Through the castle gates, torches on the wall provided enough light to see our feet beneath us, my boots stepping over each stone before I came to a stop. "Wait."

He paused, turning slowly to face me without saying a word.

"Why is everything different?" My breathing was becoming erratic, my brain convincing my heart and lungs that we were heading for something bad, something I couldn't quite pinpoint but could feel in my gut wasn't right.

"Nothing has changed," he lied.

"Don't!" I yelled, not caring to play these games. "Do not tell me it has always been like this. Don't try to make me believe it's my mind that's wrong." I stood there, my fists clenched, my nostrils flared as he watched me fight through my anger. "I know what I saw when I was here last, Elio. It was warm, sunny in your kingdom, and now it's cold, dark, and these floors are stone." I panted, struggling to take one full inhale before continuing. "Why are the floors stone?" I grabbed a torch from the wall and lifted it to illuminate the room. "Why are the walls stone?"

His smirk grew somewhat sinister, and with an exhaustive exhale, he shook his head in silence before lifting a hand. With a snap of his fingers, it was bright again. That warm, summery glow illuminated the castle, the crystal walls showing the beautiful, expansive meadows that covered the kingdom just outside.

"I don't understand." I shook my head, my panic only growing.

He opened his mouth to speak. "A dream is–"

"A lie," I interrupted him, laughing in disbelief. "You're just a King of Illusions."

His smirk turned into a scowl, his eyebrows furrowing with anger as he grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him. "Whatever I am, Haxia," he hissed, "you belong to me now."

It was my wedding night.

There were no sisters, no guests, not even some creepy faceless maids as bystanders to watch me walk down the aisle.

There was no aisle.

Elio dragged me, his grip still tight on my upper arm as he took me to a part of the castle I had not yet seen. There were only walls here, crystal by appearance, but I couldn't shake the feeling it was likely untrue. The lack of a ceiling made the room feel like an atrium, but there were no flowers or plants or anything with life to make it seem so.

He stood in a crimson-colored circle, carved from marble in the middle of the floor, waiting. I stepped into it, the ground humming with energy and the red glowing a bright red color.

Elio's wings spread, beautifully white, pure, giving an illusion of holiness as he basked in the light that fell from the sky.

King of Lies.

Did he even have wings? Every thought in my head only planted another seed of regret, of distrust, digging a hole in my chest, carving an emptiness inside of me I feared I'd never fill.

Love wasn't meant to leave us feeling like this.

But I took his hand anyway, knowing there was no other option.

This was fate, and what a fickle bitch she was.

The nightdress was gone, in its place a wedding gown, fitting me as if it had been designed for my body. Intricate lace covered the bodice, the sweetheart neckline elongating my neck and doing nothing to cover the scars my new husband had gifted me.

I laughed to myself; what a wedding present .

Elio began to speak, words I'd never heard before, in a language that didn't sound or seem English or Spanish or anything else I recognized, yet with every word he spoke, their meaning permeated deep inside me. I understood every single one.

He called for the sun and the moon, for oceans of consciousness, for the stars and celestial bodies to come watch. I could hear the waves crashing against the palace, as if we were cliffside, the ocean right next to us. The sky split in two above, as if the opening in the ceiling was positioned just right, catching the divide where night turned to day.

He truly was a god.

Elio kissed me, his lips warm as he pressed them to mine, lingering for only a short moment before he pulled away. Then, it was gone, all the magic, the moon, everything he had summoned. The red circle was gray stone once more, and the night sky was pitch-black again, but only for a split second before he snapped his fingers and continued the illusion of daytime.

"You may prepare for what's next." He raised his arm, pointing to a hallway. "Through there, up the staircase, all the way into the tower. You will find everything you need to be comfortable there."

I swallowed, not bothering to look back, making my way to what I could only assume would be my new bedroom. It was fine, nothing fancy, nothing frightening, just a tower with windows facing the fake meadows and a bed to sleep in.

A pained laugh escaped me.

I guess this was it. I saved humanity, fulfilled my prophecy, so now I'd get to live in this sad tower for the rest of my sad life.

Would I die here? Would I spend eternity living with Elio in this sham of a marriage?

The wedding dress wasn't on anymore, the torn nightgown in its place.

I hated it. The illusions, the lies, the fakeness of it all.

In the end, I would have rather had all of this as it was, ugly or not. I didn't need anything else. I preferred the truth.

He was right, though. Everything I needed for comfort was here. Maybe it was his magic, maybe it was the castle, maybe it was me. But I found that if I desired something in this tower, all I needed was to focus my thoughts on it. I craved grapes, turning around to find a plate on my bed.

I walked over to the clawfoot tub in the center of the room, just as it had been in Camazotz's tower, and wished for hot water. The steam appeared first, the water rising from the bottom until it reached the brim.

I wanted to wish for Camazotz, but part of me knew it was useless.

There was no resentment toward him for sending me home. I didn't blame him; if anything, I understood. Had I the option of watching him end up with one of my sisters or sending him somewhere I'd never have to see him again, I would have certainly taken the latter.

The least I owed him now was the peace of leaving him alone, of letting his heart heal.

Something I felt mine would never be capable of, with the reminder of Camazotz's face haunting me through these halls in the shape of Elio.

Time passed strangely here. Still, I knew it had been long, hours since Elio had sent me up to this tower. I sat on the edge of the bed, expecting him, waiting for him to arrive and consummate this marriage or whatever it was he intended to do with me.

I paced the room, staring out into the unchanging meadow with anxiety.

It wasn't day; how could it ever be day in Helios? Dreams were made of the subconscious, birthed in the dark, and yet here Elio was, trying to pretend his kingdom was the opposite.

Camazotz embraced the truth of it all, wore it proudly on his face and shouldered his duty fiercely.

My anxiety began to bubble, something tugging inside me, telling me to pay attention. Still, I sat on that bed until I could no longer tolerate it, until my anxiety turned to frustration, and from frustration, it grew to annoyance.

How dare he send me up here to wither away after forcing me to marry him? The least he could do was provide me with entertainment or fuck the lights out of me and make me a happy wife.

I balled my hands into fists, storming out of the tower with the intent to give him a piece of my mind. Rushing down the spiral staircase and running to the atrium to find it empty, I stopped and wondered if my husband had a room of his own.

Some place he wouldn't be burdened with me or the memory that his brother had stolen my heart before he could.

My feet continued until I suddenly found myself in front of stairs. My legs trembled beneath me, my stomach churning and sweat beading under my arms as I thought about the last time I walked down these steps. It was in this very dungeon that everything changed between the three of us.

I stepped down, my feet tapping against the humid steps of the dungeon.

There, my husband sat on the wooden bench, the mountain of white feathers hiding him from my view. He held the key in his hand, the largest of the shackles, the one that wrapped around his midsection, on the ground, broken from when I tried to release him.

"Elio?" I called to him, but his feathers only shook.

I walked further down the stairs, stepping closer to him once I had reached the ground, and that's when I heard the mumbling. I couldn't make out his words, but they repeated in a frantic sequence.

"What?" I asked, getting close enough to touch his wings.

He whipped around in a frenzy, his eyes wide and filled with shock at seeing me. Tears streamed down his face, but it was the ghost-like paleness on his cheeks, the lack of life vibrating from him, that concerned me. "He's not here." His words finally became clear as he faced me. "He's not here. Why isn't he here, Flo?" His desperation was tangible, the look on his face screaming of hopelessness.

"Who's not here?" I kept my voice soft, my tone caring as I placed my hand on his shoulder.

His eyes flicked up to look at me, "Camazotz." He shook his head, dropping it to his hands then pulling at his hair in frustration. "He's always here, he's always here! Why isn't he here?" He wasn't making sense, but there was something in his panic that fueled my own.

Camazotz was good at talking me down, at calming me. Elio could drive me off the edge of reason and sanity. With, Elio I would drown in the ocean of my own mind.

"I don't know what you're saying, Elio. Camazotz doesn't live here," I reassured him.

"I can't do this without him." His voice cracked as he lifted his head to look at me again, tear-filled eyes threatening to lose control. "He always comes."

I dropped to my knees, getting somewhat closer to his level so I was no longer standing above him. "What does that mean?"

He lifted the large iron shackle split in half. "It means we are all doomed." His voice dropped to a cold tone, the look in his eyes void of any emotion. It was a look I recognized well, a look I'd seen on my own face many times in the mirror.

It was the face of a broken person, of someone who had given up on themselves.

"What can I do?" I asked through an exhale.

"Leave. Now." He looked away, his eyes drifting to where the shackles on the wall hung from their respective chains. "Before it's too late. Before I hurt you even more."

Stubborn gods would be the end of me. "It's already too late. I am yours, remember? So tell me what to do, Dream King."

"The shackles, one on each hand. The last one on my throat." He dropped the broken one. "It'll have to be enough."

He stood, towering over me and slowly walking to the stone wall. I waited for him to grab the first shackle, locking it over his left ankle before moving to the one on his right foot. I followed suit, silently bringing the remaining shackles to each wrist and then finally placing the last one over his neck. He was bound to the wall; whether it was strong enough to do whatever he needed of it, I wasn't sure.

"Now?" I asked.

"Back to the tower, Haxia. Bar the door. Do not open it until it stops." His tone was serious, his eyes filled with a worry I couldn't understand.

I shook my head, "Until what stops?"

"Everything," he answered.

"Elio–"

"Go!" he snarled, biting at the air as if to warn me off.

I stumbled back, tripping on an uneven stone and scrambling up the dungeon stairs, my feet moving beneath me until I'd found myself in my tower again. I closed the door behind me, giving myself only a few moments to settle my breathing before I rushed to the bed, finding some sort of hidden strength as I tried to move the bed.

The sound of iron feet scratching along the stone floors made me wince, my arms proving too weak for what I needed. I turned around and pressed my back to the side of the bed instead, keeping my feet in place as if I was sitting in an invisible chair and using my back to push. The scratching sound went on, and I stepped, pushing the bed slowly until it hit the door.

It would have to be enough.

There was nothing else.

My heart hammered with exhaustion, anticipation, and a million questions still unanswered as I braced myself, hugging my knees to my chest as I sat on the bed, watching the door.

Time was like quicksand here. It never did what you wanted it to do.

Days could feel like weeks, and an entire night could feel like an hour.

I felt myself nodding off, my eyelids shutting and my mind settling into sleep before the door shook. I gasped, eager to open it before I remembered my instructions. "Elio?" I called out to the other side, but it was a feral growling that answered instead.

Fear filled every vein in my body, and a crashing against the door pushed the bed a single inch away. I whimpered, looking around for somewhere to hide, someplace to go. Out the window? I rushed to find nothing below but a likely painful death waiting me at least five stories down.

The pounding on the door became relentless, the growling shaking me to my core and settling at the base of my spine. I moved as far from the bed as possible, finding comfort in a corner where I waited for it to pass. This wasn't a dream. None of my tricks would work here because I had come here of my own volition. I wasn't stuck in someone's nightmare; I was living my own.

I dropped my head to my arms, embracing my knees and counting. For what, I wasn't sure, but I stayed there, counting each second until the door would break or the monster would stop.

I got as far as six thousand, and by then, my mind felt so tired, my little corner became the safest place for me to sleep.