41. Samuel

41

SAMUEL

S ex trafficking .

That's the future my mate had in store for her if the Omega Protection Services hadn't busted down their literal gates.

I didn't save her. Didn't even try, nor did I want to.

I was so convinced the girl who held my heart and soul stomped on it. Purposefully . If she had troubles in her new lavish life, I didn't care.

But it was all a lie.

My omega wasn't swimming in fancy dresses and jewelry. Fancy bubbly beverages and delicious pastries weren't on her menu. A beautiful nest with a canopy of warm fairy lights and silk sheets weren't there. Amaya didn't laugh with new friends or go on dates.

My beautiful mate had nothing.

Everything she ever had and loved, even fucking hated, was ripped from her in the middle of the night, just as she was torn away from us.

And I never fucking questioned it.

Anger slammed me in the gut, and a deep-rooted grudge for the girl I loved took hold not only of my brain, but my heart. I turned cold in the wake of Amaya's absence, no disappearance , stealing every bit of the boy I once was.

When was the last time I truly smiled? Or laughed?

Every smirk drawn from the depths of my black soul has been fake either for my mom, or due to too much alcohol.

I didn't do the right thing, didn't protect my mate, all because of a perceived betrayal. When my parents find out, they'll never want to see my face again. I wouldn't either.

Amaya didn't abandon me; I abandoned her.

So as I sit here, eyes burning with tears with a smashed bottle of booze in the kitchen sink, I realize I would do anything to turn back time and take Maya's place.

My beautiful little petal never once deserved the dark dungeon and certainly not the starvation. She should never have had to endure weight checks or bare mattresses. My omega, and every omega out there should, never be subjected to a heat spent alone, drugged, and experimented on.

I might have some sexual hangups because no other woman can touch me or even fucking flirt with me without my alpha nature rising up with a snarl and a sickening sensation, but I can't imagine the after effects my mate is dealing with.

The guys told me about her nightmare that brought the police screeching down our street.

I would never expect anyone to come out unscathed from that fucking academy, but I never thought Amaya, the girl I grew up with and loved for as long as I can remember, would know trauma such as that. And I definitely never thought I would live two houses down from her, and not be there to support her in the healing process.

Self-loathing and determination made me smash my bottle of liquor to shreds an hour ago before I decided I needed to learn everything about what Amaya endured.

Reading about The Premium Designation Academy is different than hearing the horrors from her lips. I know that, but it's a start. A start to understanding who she has become and who I am going to be because Amaya isn't the girl I once knew, and there's no way in hell I am going to continue being the man I devolved into.

It's that same determination and self-loathing that has me gently closing my laptop and making my way to the front door. Em and Oli left a while ago to see Amaya, and it's about time I face my mistakes too.

The cool breeze makes my wild blond hair tickle my ears and tosses a little excitement into my steps. Fall used to be mine and Amaya's favorite time of year.

I don't make it very far down my driveway before I notice my brother and pack mate walking back home toward me. Disappointment slows my steps. I took too long to follow. My drooping shoulders stiffen when I see two cars and a motorcycle in her driveway. Is she moving?! She can't be moving!

With matching frowns, Emmett and Oliver approach me, but before they can question or yell at me, I ask them what the hell is going on over there.

"Why do you care?" Oliver questions with narrowed eyes.

Emmett places his hand on Oli's lower back and continues to guide him forward. "Let's talk inside," he says to both of us, probably thinking we'll cause a scene.

Once the door closes behind us, I demand the answers currently giving me enough anxiety to tremble. "Is she moving? Who's over there and who the hell drives the motorcycle? She better not get on that fucking death trap." The last part comes out as a snarl that not only surprises me but both of my pack mates too.

"I repeat—" Oli starts, but Em gives him a little shove into the living room.

"Let's not repeat anything that's going to come out with that tone. I already have a headache without you two hurling insults," Emmett grumbles and falls onto the couch. I open my mouth, but the alpha cuts me off too. "Sam, please, for the love of literally everything , keep this civil and respectful. Both of you." He shoots a look at his beta.

I want to scowl and deny I would be anything but civil and respectful, I really do, but he has every right to admonish me before I even speak. I give him a curt nod and settle into my armchair.

A sigh of relief puffs out of him, but Oliver still stands and paces the length of the room. Ignoring him, I wait for Emmett to explain.

Reverently, like he's holding onto a memory he's afraid to lose, Emmett whispers, "She spoke to us."

I frown. "Why do you sound so shocked?"

They've been over there every chance they've gotten.

Oliver and Emmett exchange a glance that puts me even more on edge. Emmett clears his face of the wonder that lightened his sorrow for a moment and leans forward. "Sam, can you please remember to breathe when I tell you this?"

My teeth grind, but I nod.

"Vincent answers the door and we've only spoken to him. Until today."

I grit out, “And, who the hell is Vincent?"

Again with the fucking eye contact between these two. "Vincent is Amaya's fourth mate. Her alpha."

It's instantaneous. The first and only moment my alpha and I have been on the same page.

A haze descends, stealing away every promise I just gave my friend about being calm. All control has slipped. Envy, self-hatred and pure heartache swallow me whole. " I'M HER ALPHA!"

I don't realize I'm towering over Emmett until his hand snaps out and crushes my airway. "SO AM I!" And for once, his roar and dominance overpowers mine.

My alpha balks and retreats as my spine once again slams into the hard surface of the coffee table. I don't know what’s harder, the dining room table or this, but fuck, it kicks my alpha down.

Emmett doesn't leave me sprawled on the table for my baby brother to tear apart this time. He gets up close and personal himself.

"Alpha or not," he seethes, teeth bared inches from my face, "Vincent is a thousand times the man we are."

"Bullshit!" I snap automatically.

Emmett's hand tightens on my throat, stealing my protests. "Not once has Vincent spoken for Amaya! Our omega has a choice with him, and she hasn't chosen us. He hasn't left her alone. That alpha is taking care of our mate while we've spent the past few years avoiding even speaking her fucking name, Sam!"

Blood coats my tongue, but I swallow the metallic taste. I deserve it. I deserve every ounce of pain. Stars burst through my vision, Emmett having used his grip to lift my head and slam it back down.

"Emmett!" Oliver shouts, but he sounds far away.

"WE'RE TRYING!" Em's spit hits the corner of my eye, but I blink it away, knowing I deserve his wrath.

"I know," I croak, blinking up at my best friend. I can't help the tears that escape, but they aren't born of physical pain. "I?—"

"What have you done, Sam?! Besides cast us aside and reject our mate without knowing the full story? We had no idea. You stole our choice, just as everyone has done to her! OUR MATE!"

I can't look Emmett in the eye. "I'm sorry."

The pressure on my neck eases as Emmett releases me. Absently, I can hear his panting breath, but Oliver nudges him out of the room. Just like when I was chased around the kitchen, I'm left sprawled out on the coffee table with tears soaking my hair.

Among the self-deprecating thoughts of what a horrible mate I am, I smile. Salt stains my tongue, my tears unstoppable, but everything just changed even if they haven't realized it yet.

Our pack bond floats .

No longer am I the pack alpha. A leader with anger issues and a horrible view on life is not the right fit. Unfortunately, it took until today for the responsibility to shatter in a poof of inadequacy and much needed self-growth.

As soon as Emmett forced me down and covered my body with his, I gave it up. Maybe when we were younger, pack alpha made sense to be mine, but not anymore. Dominated by Emmett with Oliver watching, I feel a sense of peace settling in my soul. No longer is the burden of caring for our pack on my shoulders. Amaya is the only thing on my mind now.

Em never wanted to challenge me for pack alpha. He doesn't hold the traits or the dominance for the role.

I refuse to tether the bond knowing all I'll ever do, all I've ever done , is ruin what we could have been. So I guess we'll float until we either fade away, or find another to take hold of what I've ruined and fix the hurt I've caused.

And for once, I don't want to fade away.

I want to fight for my omega.

I want to be better. Do better.

I want to grovel.