Prologue

"To cleanse our sins…" says the Shepherd.

"…We must obey," they answer, united as one.

All but me, so I sign it, showing my good faith in following the same rituals as the other members of the Faithful Lambs.

“Today, the Divine reached me and told me that one of our members must be offered in marriage.” Goosebumps appear all over my forearms. My heart quickens, and a shadow of panic builds in me.

“Rose, my little lamb, rise and come to your Shepherd,” he says, raising his arm towards me in his long white gown. The church is packed; everyone’s staring at me, envious or waiting for me to fall.

I should be happy, it’s supposed to be the greatest honor of my life.

But something is off.

Something I’ve been asking myself for a while now.

I reach the wooden stage and keep my head down, avoiding our leader's gaze.

“In my generosity, Rose, I make you worthy of love and forgiveness. I will choose your husband soon, and you shall be married and birth the children of our community, for it is your duty to multiply and spread the word of the Ascension.”

I nod, holding my hands behind my back, my eyes locked on the floor.

What would happen if I raised my head a little, just enough to look him in the eye? Would it be so wrong to entertain this idea?

“Now, child, go back to your family.” I turn and step down the stairs, walking as calmly as I can to our bench.

“Let’s sing to the Divine, thank him for his love and his acceptance,” I hear the Shepherd say, but I’m mentally elsewhere.

Running, in my head, towards a big wave that will swallow me whole and crush my bones until I’m no longer a part of this world. My hands start to sign the songs when I close my eyes for a brief instant.

There must be more to life than this.

And if there is, I must find it.