Chapter 19

Prism

No one ever made an effort.

Not the way Arsen did.

Crawling through my window with sheets and blankets, only bringing the softest, best fabrics he could find. Refusing to bring a comforter because none of them were good enough. Giving me his shoes. Wrapping me in pink. Realizing the details most people considered small were the biggest things that made me. With every discovery of something I tried to keep on lockdown, he barely batted an eye.

He whispered to me during sex.

He fucked me raw.

I don’t just mean without a condom either, but—oh my God, he was in me without a condom—I mean he exposed layers of me that had never seen the light of day. He found me in the darkness, didn’t even ask to turn on a light, patiently waiting in the shadows for his eyes to adjust so he could meet me where I was instead of expecting me to come out.

He met me in the darkness.

And now, for him, I would step into the light.

My alarm went off too soon, and I hit the snooze button for the first time in forever. Usually, I was up and eager to get to the pool. But that was before Arsen. Before I woke up spooned into the warm security of his body, the weight of relaxation anchoring me against him, the length of his magic dick snug against my ass. It was so enticing that I snuggled closer into him, surrendering once more.

The bang of a door popped my eyes open, and I blinked sleepily at the wall.

“P! You sick? What the hell are you still in—Agh!” Kruger yelled. “There’s a man in your bed!”

Kruger’s legs appeared at the side of the bed, and I blearily watched him lean over me to grab the blanket.

Before he could peel it down my body, a hand shot out, catching Kruger’s wrist.

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Arsen rumbled, his voice sleepy and growly and making me want.

Tingles raced across the back of my neck, and I made a small sound, wiggling even closer. His arm came back, anchoring around my waist, fingers tucking between my side and the mattress.

“How the hell did you get in here, Arsen?” Kruger demanded.

“Go away,” he grumbled, warm breath brushing over my already sensitive neck.

Despite having sex just hours ago, my dick sprang to life.

“This is my house,” Kruger intoned.

My alarm went off again, and even though I chose a ringtone that wasn’t too harsh, the sound was still disruptive.

I whined, tucking my chin toward my chest, and Arsen tugged the blanket closer around me.

Kruger shut off the alarm and said nothing, but his looming presence at the side of the mattress was impossible to ignore. “You want me to tell Coach you ain’t coming today because you got laid?”

I jerked up, the pink blanket falling around my waist. “You wouldn’t.”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” he replied, smug. “Got you up, though, didn’t it?”

“Fuck you, Kruger,” I grumped, wiping a hand down my face.

Kruger laughed under his breath, and the mattress dipped slightly when he sat on the edge. “You okay, P? This seems kinda like a big deal.”

My stomach flipped, but then Kruger dropped over the side of the bed, landing hard on his ass. “Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you, Arsen?”

“It’s time you start learning some boundaries, bro,” he said, pushing up into a sitting position.

God, he was sexy. Not as ripped as I was, but I found that more alluring because the definition and bulk he had wasn’t honed from machines and repetitive swimming but more because he was naturally strong.

And, oh, that strength called to me, rousing the parts of me that felt immeasurably small and making me feel seen and protected all at once. The ink only intensified the strength for me because he’d sat still and withstood the pain of the art, letting it sting him over and over while the whirring sound of the tattoo gun buzzed in the air. I’d gone with Rush when he added some ink to the sleeve he was slowly getting done by Max. I’d been so curious about the process, even if I knew I was too much of a chicken to withstand the pain of getting one myself.

What I hadn’t expected was the sound. It had been unbearable. I had to turn the music up so loud in my ears to block out that heinous buzz.

To me, Arsen’s piercings in his nipples, lip, and lining his ear also represented endurance. Confidence. Plus, I loved licking across them, the difference between his skin and the metal fascinating to my senses.

I’d always known this man was my kryptonite, but even I hadn’t understood just how true it was.

Until now.

When sitting in this bed, tired and disgruntled about being awakened, with my best friend bitching on the floor did nothing at all to stop the throbbing of my dick and the need coursing through my veins.

He’s created a monster. I hope he knows what he’s unleashed.

“Boundary number one: This bed is not yours.” Arsen glowered. “Boundary number two: You don’t touch what’s mine when he isn’t dressed.”

“When I told you to treat P good, this was not what I meant.” Kruger scowled, rising to his feet.

“What?” I asked, glancing between them.

“We gotta leave in fifteen or we’re swimming extra laps,” Kruger said.

“It’s not even sunrise,” Arsen pointed out.

“Swimmer hours,” Kruger told him. “If you don’t like them, sleep at your house.”

The idea of not waking up to him was suddenly so bothersome that my hard-on withered. It had only been one night. I’m not counting that jail sleepover, okay? And we’d been rudely awakened, but here I was, stomach cramping at the idea of sleeping without him.

I’m in trouble.

Even realizing it, I rotated toward him, the sheet rustling slightly. “I have to get up really early for practice. I’m sorry,” I said quietly. Wanting to make it better, I added, “But you can sleep in. Just lock the door on your way out later.”

Kruger made a rude sound but said nothing.

“Swimmer hours, huh?” Arsen said, stare bouncing between my eyes. His were soft from sleep, and his hair was rumpled.

I bit into my lip to dissuade myself from falling into his chest and nodded.

“I don’t mind waking up early if it’s you I see when I open my eyes.”

So much trouble.

“That’s heartwarming, bro. You must watch romance movies,” Kruger mused, but I barely heard.

With a small sound, I swayed in, and he opened his arms, folding me close.

His palm rubbed my back, and over my head, he told Kruger, “You can go. I’ll drive him over.”

“Really?” I asked, lifting my head. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“P?” Kruger called.

I turned back to my best friend and nodded. “Is it okay if I ride over with Arsen this morning?”

“Bro, sure,” he said, eyes studying me.

“I’m okay, Ben.”

He relented. “All right, I’ll see you at the pool. But I’m for real. If he’s late, he’ll have to swim extra laps.”

Arsen nodded.

On his way out, Kruger stopped at the foot of the bed, turning to look at Arsen. “So, like, do those hurt?” he asked, gesturing to his chest.

I glanced down at Arsen’s bare pecs, piercings on display, and gasped. “Don’t look at him!” I demanded, using my hands to hide the barbels.

Arsen laughed like he thought it was cute.

“Can’t blame a guy for wondering,” Kruger muttered, moving to the door once more. “I’m assuming A is the one who hauled in those blankets?”

I nodded.

“Really, bro? Pink?” Kruger ribbed.

“I like it.” I defended him.

“As you should,” Kruger decided instantly. “We don’t do stereotypes around here. Gonna wear a pink shirt today to prove it.”

“You don’t have a pink shirt,” I pointed out.

“I’ll buy one,” he retorted, then to Arsen, “We got a front door.”

He shrugged. “I don’t mind taking the hard way to get to Matthew.”

My toes curled under the blankets.

Kruger made a noise. “Smooth, bro, but I’m out. If I stay any longer, I’ll get cavities.” He left, thankfully closing the door behind him.

Groaning, I leaned into Arsen, nuzzling my cheek against the warm, smooth skin of his pec. My eyes drooped when I inhaled his scent.

Against my ear, his voice rumbled through his chest as he spoke. “You get up this early every day?”

“We have a light swim one day a week that starts an hour later.”

“You mean we get to get up at five instead of four?”

“One day a week, we have off,” I told him. “Sometimes I swim anyway.”

“You like swimming a lot, huh?”

“Mm.” I agreed, looping my arm around his middle. “It’s quiet and calms my mind. The water is dense and comforting.”

“Swimming is your music, then.”

I thought about it. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, you better get dressed so you aren’t late,” he said, patting my bare hip.

“I don’t mind swimming a few extra laps.”

My back hit the mattress, the pillow cradling my head as he rolled over me completely, his body pressing intimately along mine. We were both completely naked, his dick just as hard as mine, and I whimpered when he thrust against me. Without thought, I opened my legs, his body falling between them, and I hooked my ankles around his calves, arching my torso into his.

His unruly hair brushed against my brows when he tilted his head to the side and slotted our mouths together. His breath was warm, thick tongue cajoling as my fingers glided down his side to reach around his firm ass and tug him closer.

He grunted, thrusting against me only once before lifting his head. My lips were slick, the morning air cold against them.

“If you don’t get out of this bed right now, princess, you aren’t going to make it to practice at all.”

The thought of not going whipped through my mind instantly, but I pushed it away because swimming was not just something I loved but something I needed. I also had other reasons for wanting to be there this morning.

“Later?” I asked.

“Definitely.”

I slid out from under him, but just before my feet could hit the floor, his hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me back so he could lower his mouth one more time. I was fuzzy-headed when he finally pulled back, my lips tingling from the assault.

“Good morning, baby. I love that you were the last thing I tasted yesterday and the first thing I touched this morning.”

I knew then it was useless to try and not fall in love with him. I’d already fallen when I wasn’t looking.

I said nothing because I couldn’t possibly process his words while coming up with some of my own, so I got out of bed, jamming my feet into his fancy trainers, and moved naked to my dresser. I didn’t feel self-conscious even as I sensed the heaviness of his stare. Showing him my outer shell was so less scary than everything he’d seen beneath it. So I clomped over and grabbed a clean Speedo and pulled it up my legs.

“Your ass is seriously top tier,” Arsen said, still staring from the bed.

Smiling, I glanced down, seeing the hickey beside my belly button, and then peeked at the inside of my thigh to look for teeth marks.

They were there, and I caressed them with my fingertips, heart beating just a little bit faster.

His arms slid around me from behind, and I jolted, surprised because I hadn’t heard him get up. “Whatcha looking at, princess?” he rumbled right beside my ear.

Goose bumps raced along my arms, but I turned my leg to show him the bite.

He hummed, his ring-covered fingers reaching for the mark. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” I whispered.

“You feel okay everywhere else?”

My cheeks felt warm as I nodded. I was a little sore, but I wouldn’t tell him that because it wasn’t anything serious and because I liked still being able to feel him. It was sort of a way to hold on to a moment and make it last just a little bit longer.

He patted my hip, and I pulled away reluctantly to put on the rest of my clothes. Even though I’d been hard-pressed to drag myself out of his arms last night, I was grateful we’d cleaned up after round two because it saved time right now.

“Baby, have you seen my shirt?”

I froze where I was as he turned, buckling up his pants. When I didn’t answer, he looked up. I fidgeted under the gaze, tugging the sleeves over my hands and curling my fingers into the black fabric. It was soft and had a little weight to it. I liked how it felt against my shoulders. The hem fell just past my hips, somehow being more oversized on me than it was on him.

And the scent. It made me feel like I was still spooned in his arms in bed.

“Well, aren’t you cute?” he said, a crooked smile filling the lower half of his face. Closing the distance between us, he palmed my waist, rubbing the fabric against my sides. “You gonna wear this today?”

Should I have asked first? I worried, but the soft look in his eyes made me brave. “Finders keepers,” I told him.

Amusement glinted in his dark stare. “Finders keepers, huh?” He shifted, his hips angling in so our lower halves were sealed together. “Since I found you under those bleachers, I guess that means I get to keep you.”

But what if you change your mind?

As much as I wanted to wear the shirt, I found my fingers tangling in the hem to pull it off.

His hand covered mine, stopping me. “Keep it, baby. Seeing you in my clothes is something I didn’t know I needed.”

“It smells like you,” I confided.

“You like the way I smell?”

I nodded.

He groaned and wrapped his arms around me, entwining us in a tight hug. Bear.

He pulled back. “You gonna give me one of your shirts, then?”

I grabbed a hoodie from the box on top of the stack and tossed it in his direction. He put it on, and I grabbed my duffle. Kruger’s bedroom door was shut and I knew Jess was probably still asleep, so we went quietly down the stairs, through the empty dining room, and into the kitchen where I grabbed the to-go mug Kruger set out for me next to a pot of brewed coffee.

I filled it up and added some cream and sugar, then took a sip and sighed. I turned, my stomach dropping a little at Arsen’s stare. “What?”

“Some other man made you coffee?”

“Ben is not some other man. He’s my brother.”

“He made your coffee?”

“He made a pot of coffee, and I just poured a mug of it.”

He pursed his lips.

I rolled my eyes and went over to him, drinking more as I watched him over the rim. “Here, bear,” I said, holding it out to him. “I’ll share.”

Eyes glinting, he wrapped his hand around mine where it held the mug and brought it to his lips. He stared as he sipped, the sound of him swallowing not bothering me at all but bottoming out my belly. When he lifted his lips, I started to pull my hand and the mug down, but his grip tightened and he lifted both back up to drag his tongue across the opening in the lid.

The act was so possessive, the spark in his eyes so territorial, that it caught my breath. His greed for me was not a turnoff. If anything, it made mine feel less strange.

“Get your shoes, princess.” His voice was gravelly when he gestured toward the front door.

Kruger’s Audi was already gone when we got in the G wagon, and I sank into the leather, cradling the warm mug between my palms.

Arsen started up the engine and turned the heat on, pointing the vents at me. Smiling, I held out the mug, and he took it for another sip.

The drive to the pool was short and quiet, but the silence between us was comfortable. He pulled right up to the doors, not bothering to park, so I wouldn’t have to walk across the lot.

“You can keep the coffee,” I told him, slipping it into the cup holder. “It will just get cold if I bring it.”

Without a word, he leaned across the console, and my heart thundered, thinking he was going to kiss me goodbye. Just when my eyes started to flutter, he leaned past and opened the glove box. “Here,” he said, drawing my attention.

I gaped at the open compartment that was stocked with stuff. “What is all this?” I asked, taking in the protein bars, napkins, candy, AirPods, ChapStick, and hand sanitizer.

“Passenger princesses need supplies.”

My lips dropped open, and I whipped my face toward him. “You bought all this for me?”

“Of course I did,” he said as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“When?”

“Last night when I bought your sheets.”

I continued to stare, utterly flabbergasted that he would do something like this. He continued to surprise me in all the best ways.

My heart cannot withstand this.

“I wasn’t sure what kind to get, so I just got these two. You can tell me your favorite, and I’ll get them next time.”

When I didn’t look, he made a sound. “Matthew, take a protein bar.”

I glanced down at the two choices in his hand and chose the chocolate one.

He grunted. “Figured.”

I started to say something, then stopped myself.

“What is it?” he asked.

I pointed to the other one, peanut butter. “I like these, but I don’t ever bring them to the pool. Lars has a severe nut allergy, and these could kill him.”

“No shit?”

I nodded. “We’ve all pretty much gone nut-free.”

“I’ll get rid of them,” he said, moving to toss it back in the glove box.

“No!” I hurried to say.

He glanced at me, surprised.

“You got them for me. I want them. I’ll just eat them when I won’t be around Lars.”

He cupped the side of my face and made a soft sound. “Whatever you want, princess.”

“Bear?”

“What?”

“Thank you for this,” I whispered. “No one’s ever done so much for me.”

“This is just the bare minimum, baby, but you’re welcome.”

He pecked a soft kiss against my mouth and then pulled away. “Don’t forget we have a date tonight.”

I nodded.

“I’ll pick you up at five.”

I nodded again. “Bye, bear.”

“Wait.”

I turned back.

“Give me your phone.”

I pulled it from my pocket and handed it over.

He put in his number. “If you need anything, call me.”

I smiled.

“Text me so I’ll have your number too.”

When my feet hit the pavement, I turned back, glancing at him through the open door. Just looking at him made me feel so much. It caught in my throat and made it hard to talk. I tried, but my lips moved, and no sound came out.

He understood. Because of course he did.

Grinning, he nodded. “I know, baby. I’ll see you later.”

I shut the door, and he pulled away. My vision was blurred when I stared at the phone in my hand, but even still, I pulled up his number and sent him a text.

Prism: *heart emoji*

Stuffing the phone in my pocket, I yanked open the glass door of the natatorium. The device vibrated, and I stopped to pull it back out.

Arsen: *bear emoji*

Cause of death: Arsen Andrews

A shrill, high-pitched whistle peeled through the crisp air. “You’re late!” Coach yelled. “Ten extra laps, Prism! No excuses!”

Worth it.

Stuffing my phone away, I wrapped my hand around the protein bar and strode across the pool deck. “Team meeting,” I called.

Coach looked at me like I had three heads. “Did you forget to pay your brain bill, Prism? You don’t call meetings. That’s the coach’s job.”

A whistle blew, and Coach spun because, for once, it was not him.

Landry was standing there in her Elite windbreaker, holding a clipboard, whistle in her mouth. “Bleachers!” she yelled. “Team meeting!”

“Landry Resch! How dare you interrupt my practice?” Coach roared.

“I’m assistant coach.” She reminded him, then winked at me.

Coach spun back around to glare. “You can swim twenty extra for this interruption.”

“Yes, Coach.”

Kruger was at my side instantly, cold droplets of water raining off him. He shook his arms, splattering me, and then moved the goggles up onto his swim cap. “What’s this about, P?”

“I’m telling the team.”

He sputtered. More droplets of chlorinated water flew everywhere, a few hitting me in the face. “I think you should think about this, bro. Once you say it, you can’t unsay it.”

“I’m doing it,” I said.

“Is his dick pierced?” he demanded.

I drew back as though he’d smacked me. “What the fuck, Kruger?”

“I’m just saying if his nipples look like that, then his dick must too, and it’s done stolen all your common sense.”

“Whose dick is pierced?” Jamie asked, walking right into the conversation.

“No one!” I hurried to say.

“Max’s probably is,” Jamie muttered, taking a large gulp of red Gatorade. “Hey, Wes.” He waved to our friend.

Wes came over, feet splashing in random puddles. “Yeah, bro?”

“Is Max’s dick pierced?” Kruger accused.

Wes sputtered, and I groaned.

He looked at me, so I shook my head.

Wes glowered at our two friends who clearly knew no boundaries. “Why would you ask me that?”

Jamie opened his mouth to likely say something else outlandish, but the whistle cut through the air.

“Get your asses over here!” Coach roared.

The four of us moved forward, but Kruger caught my arm, pulling me back. “P, you sure you want to do this?”

I met his concerned stare. “I’m sure.”

He hesitated, then nodded. “Then I’m with you. One hundred and ten percent.”

“I appreciate that.”

“It’s what we do.”

I nodded. “Maybe stand beside me?”

“Bro, sure.” He agreed. “But later, you’ll tell me, right?”

“Tell you what?”

“About Arsen’s dick?”

I groaned. “For God’s sake. It’s not pierced.”

“Huh. I’d have bet it was.”

I shook my head. His brain had to be waterlogged.

We came to a stop in front of the bleachers where the entire Elite squad was seated. Most everyone was dripping wet with towels around their necks, some still dry. My friends sat in the front row with Coach and Landry standing close by.

Win was even here, it being one of his days to get PT credits. He was on the end by Lars, and standing behind him was the team’s athletic trainer.

Literally everyone was here, and they were all staring at me. Suddenly, my nerves tripled, and my hands started to shake. So I didn’t crush the protein bar, I slipped it into my pocket and then curled my hands into Arsen’s shirt. On my one hand, my fingers crawled up to my wrist to brush lightly over the bracelets he’d given me.

I need to take these off before I get in the pool.

“You’re cutting into practice time,” Coach grumped. “Say what you need to say so we can get wet.”

My eyes shot to Wes, and he nodded encouragingly almost as if he understood even if he had no idea what I was about to say. Oddly, it still made me feel better.

Kruger laid his hand on my shoulder.

I took a breath. “I, ah, just, ah…” I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat.

“Whatever it is,” Ryan said, “Elite is behind you.”

I nodded. “I, ah, I’m gay,” I rushed out. Silence greeted me, and my heart beat so hard my chest hurt.

“And?” Coach said almost as if he were unimpressed.

“Now ain’t the time, Coach,” Kruger warned, voice serious.

I cleared my throat. “I know we have a couple out swimmers already, so I know it probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal or even something I need to announce. But, ah, I’ve just been really nervous about it and kinda… scared.”

“Don’t be scared, P! We’ve got your back,” Kruger said. “And anyone who doesn’t will be shown the door.”

“So I decided just to tell everyone all at once so I don’t have to repeat myself.”

It was far less brave than the way Wes came out, but I’d done it, and I already felt a weight lift, a weight I hadn’t realized had been so heavy.

A loud clap echoed around the room, startling in the silence. I jolted, and Kruger gripped my shoulder. I looked around for the source to see Jamie right there in the front row slapping his hands together. Wes, Ryan, Rush, Lars, and Win joined him immediately. Landry dropped her clipboard to add to the noise.

Soon, everyone in Elite was clapping, and I stood there with a hard lump in my throat, ears ringing from the thunderous applause that echoed up to the ceiling. I blinked, sweeping my eyes over the entire team, not even one swimmer looked disappointed in what I’d confessed.

“That’s it,” Kruger said, right beside my ear. “That’s what total support looks like. We love you, P.”

I smiled. It felt a little droopy and kinda watery, which caused panic to clench my chest.

I couldn’t cry in front of these people. I couldn’t.

“Even if you do like pierced dick,” Kruger whispered in my ear.

I burst out laughing, the tension expanding my chest finally releasing and making it so I could breathe again.

“It’s not,” I told him, wheezing a little as the applause continued to roar.

“I know.” Ben finally conceded. “I’m proud of you, P. Really fucking proud to call you my brother.”

He hugged me from the side, his arms like vises, his cheek against the outside of my shoulder.

My breathing hitched as I glanced at the guys again, and they cheered. My stare moved to Coach who stood right beside a beaming Landry. He wasn’t clapping, but when our eyes collided, I saw approval, and he inclined his chin.

For once in my life, the overwhelming noise did not make me rage. It did not make me want to run and hide. Not even when Coach eventually tried to silence it with his stupid whistle.