42. Knox

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Knox

This doesn’t seem real.

Not even a year ago, I was nursing a broken bitter heart. I was convinced that the world hated me, and I was destined to be alone, but here I am now. I’m with the most incredible man on the planet who loves the fuck out of me, packing up to move in and start our life together.

I skip into the kitchen, practically whistling under my breath as I get back to work. Hearing my phone ring, I mindlessly call out, “Will you pick that up, sweetheart?”

“Yeah!”

I chuckle at the happiness in that single word. Fuck, I love this man so much. It might seem too soon to move in with someone, but this is Elton we’re talking about. He’s emotional and intense and jumps head-first into everything. He’s so passionate about the things he loves—gives his whole heart—and I couldn’t admire that more.

I never thought that he would be the one for me. I never actually believed in that crap to begin with. I thought I loved Everest, but it’s nothing compared to the way I feel about my sweetheart. As I put some dishes away, I try to hold back a sniffle, the momentous occasion fucking with my head.

Because I found my soulmate, and I can fucking cry because of that.

I snicker to myself as I pull out the tiniest pan I’ve ever seen from the bottom drawer. “Hey, Elton, look at this fucking pan. Why do I have such a small pan? Like, what’s the point of it?” Silence greets me, and I take the pan, walking back into the bedroom. “You know, I don’t actually remember buying this— What’s wrong?”

It feels like my heart stops at the scene in front of me. Elton’s crying. No, he’s not crying, he’s wailing . He’s bent over, clutching his stomach with one hand as he cries into the other. I quickly drop the pan and rush to him. “Elton, what the fuck happened? Are you okay? Do we need to go to the hospital? What hurts, sweetheart?”

I try to tip his face up to see him better, but he slaps my hand away. With so much cruelty and so much heartbreak, his dark green eyes meet mine. “It was Everest, wasn’t it?”

I cock my head in confusion, my brows furrowing as I reach for him again. “What? What was Everest?”

“Don’t touch me!” he shouts, pushing me away before I can hold him in my arms. “Don’t play dumb, Knox! It was Everest you were fucking before me, wasn’t it? It was him you were in love with!”

The world doesn’t stop in a situation like this, no matter how much people want to tell you it does. No, it keeps spinning, speeding up, throwing everything off kilter until you’re slamming into the atmosphere, disoriented and grasping for something to hold on to.

I begin to shake my head, the denial itching to automatically come out. I can play this off, delay the inevitable just a bit longer. This can’t be the right time to tell him. I’ll make an excuse and?—

No.

This is the moment I’ve been dreading for months, and I have to own up to it. I have to stop being such a fucking coward and just tell him the truth.

“Yes. It was Everest.” The sound he lets out at my confirmation is something between another wail and a scream. He clutches at his chest, holding his hand over his heart as more tears fall down his face. “But Elton, it doesn’t matter?—”

“Of course it matters!” he yells, looking at me with nothing but disgust. “You used me to get over my own damn brother! You lied to me and made me look like an idiot!”

“Elton, please,” I say gently, my heart spasming painfully in my chest at his anguish. “It’s not that big of a deal. So what, I slept with him? It’s all in the past. I’m in love with you .”

“That’s not the point, Knox. You repeatedly lied to me!”

I shake my head, desperate to make this better. “I didn’t lie!”

“Not saying anything is a lie in itself! I can’t trust you! How do I know if you even want the same things I want in life? Have you just been saying shit all this time?”

“What? No!” I defend, tears now blurring my vision as I try to stop him from leaving. “I want it all with you. I want the kids, I want the dog, I want the future.”

“I thought you were my soulmate.” His voice cracks, his gorgeous face crumbling in defeat.

Rushing to him, I hold his cheeks in my hands, even though he tries to fight me. “We are soulmates, Elton Hill. You’re it for me. I’m so sorry I lied, but we can move past this.”

“Can we?” he asks, finally managing to swat my hands away. “You selfishly kept a very important detail from me when you had every chance to tell me the truth.”

“Sweetheart, please,” I beg, chasing him through the living room. “I was just scared?—”

“I can’t believe I was going to ask you to marry me!”

My heart races, and I gasp. “You were, what?”

Reaching into his back pocket, he produces a small black velvet box. Then he’s shoving it in my hands roughly. “Here, take it. I don’t need it anymore. I can’t build a life with someone I don’t trust.”

“What are you saying?” I actually stop breathing. I follow him as he walks to the door and snags his keys off the holder. “Elton, where are you going? We can talk about this.”

“You’ve had plenty of times to talk to me, and you didn’t.” He stops at the door, white-knuckling the handle as more tears fall down his face. “I told you I wasn’t going to be treated like shit. I’m worth more than being with someone who can lie to me so easily.”

I refuse to believe it. I try to stop him, but he’s stronger than I am, and pushes me away. “Elton, please, I love you so much. Don’t do this.”

Sniffling, he refuses to look at me as he opens the door. “Call your babe back and tell him the move’s off. We’re over, Knox.”

Now, the world stops.

It stops as I watch Elton walk out the door, shutting it, and sealing our future away.

It stops as I drop to the floor, face in my hands, and sob.

It stops as I realize I broke the love of my life’s heart.

The world stops, and my heart stops along with it.