19. Skye

Skye was lying on the couch with River snuggled up next to him, freshly showered after having gotten his heart monitor off. It would be another few days before they got the results, and they were both a little nervous. Maybe that was why Skye was having trouble following through on his promise. Part of him was also scared that if things did get heated it would cause River's heart to act up, and every time that happened it made Skye panic a little. The way River held his hand over his heart and rushed to lay down so he wouldn't pass out. The look of immediate exhaustion and pain that would cloud his features. River seemed to have it pretty well under control but Skye was never sure when River might pass out again, or if there really was something wrong with his heart that was potentially life threatening. And that thought made him pull River a little closer and hold him a little tighter. He kissed the top of his head.

"Hey, how's your tailbone been doing?" he asked. He'd been so focused on everything going on with River's heart that he'd kind of forgotten about the other chronic issue River dealt with on a daily basis.

"It's okay." River took Skye's hand in his and interlocked their fingers together. "I'm doing the myofascial release once a month now just for maintenance to keep it from getting worse, but it's still not completely better. They said it should be better than it is by now. They are surprised I'm still in as much pain as I'm in and that I still have to use my seat cushion so much. I've done all the work. I mean, it is feeling better than it was months ago, but I don't think it's ever going to be all the way better. They tell me I'm complicated. Yay."

Skye chuckled slightly. "What about church?" he asked, pressing a kiss to River's hair. "You were kind of counting on it being better so you could get back." He ran his fingers along River's upper arm now as he spoke.

River pushed away and looked at him. "I was," he sighed. "But I still can't sit in church long enough to make it through a sermon."

"What about biking, and rock climbing?"

River nodded. "I'm hoping if we get some good news about my heart that I can get back to rock climbing. Biking doesn't work anymore. Sitting on that seat is impossible with my tailbone, but I'm running again, and that helps. Anything with fresh air and sunshine is good for me." He gave a soft smile, but it was a sad one.

"I'm sorry, Riv. I wish there was something else we could think of to help you. I can't imagine not being able to do so many of the things you want to do. Just being in pain every time you sit must suck."

"It does," River said, sighing, and resting his head back on Skye's chest. "Sometimes I feel like I'm learning to live with it, and other times it makes me incredibly angry. Like, I can't travel, Skye. That trip to Cincinnati for my Aunt Jodi's funeral was brutal for me and that was only two hours. That means I can't fly, or drive long distances, which means no road trips. No more vacations with you over the summer to visit Jaden and Chloe. No amusement parks, because I can't handle the rides. No plays, no concerts. Nothing that requires sitting for more than an hour, and even that's pushing it." No honeymoon if we ever do get married. "Even the meal the other night with Nick and Jenna was hard on me. I'm glad I went, and I enjoyed myself, but I was in pain about twenty minutes in and had to ice my tailbone when I got home. I am really tired of being so limited in what I can do. And the pain in my hips and low back is getting worse. And the heart palpitations are making me exhausted, waking me up in the middle of the night. I'm struggling at work because I'm so tired, and it's definitely not helping with my depression and anxiety."

Skye pressed another kiss to River's hair and held him tightly. He hoped that they would get some good news at the follow up with the cardiologist, and that maybe then River could get back to doing a few of the things he'd been missing out on for so long.

Skye was at work a little over a week later, and his heart was a little lighter. They'd gotten River's results back from his heart monitor and the doctor had said that while his palpitations, as he called them, were scary and inconvenient, they were not life threatening, and were not doing any damage to River's heart. It was just something, like all the other things, going on with River, that he would have to learn to adjust to and live with. As if saying that made it easier to do, somehow. The doctor had put River on a beta blocker that he said could help, and encouraged him to drink lots of water and increase his salt intake, and that was it. Skye was relieved, but he wasn't sure he was satisfied. He still got nervous every time River got behind a wheel that he would have an episode, and not be able to pull off to the side of the road in time and end up in another wreck. He had been begging River to let him drive him to work for the past several weeks but River insisted that he was fine, and Skye didn't want to take one more thing away from him, so he let it go. And maybe with this new medication River was on, he could rest a little easier.

There was a knock on the door that startled him, pulling him away from his thoughts, and every head in the room turned towards the door. Skye's eyes widened, and then he blushed and smiled widely as he took in the sight before him. River was standing there, in his dark gray woolen coat, his black gloves, dark hair covered in freshly fallen snow, a sapphire scarf tucked into his coat and poking out at the top, covering his neck and making his eyes pop behind those sexy as fuck glasses. He looked absolutely breathtaking.

And by looking at him you would never know that he dealt with so many health issues, so much trauma. You would never know by the smile that lit up his face that he had been sexually assaulted as a teenager, or that he dealt with anxiety and depression, or that he had dealt with chronic pain for the past several months. Just by looking at him you would never know his story; his anguish, his grief, and hardship. You would assume that he was healthy, well adjusted, and happy. And while River was really none of those things, he was still beautiful. And Skye loved him.

Skye blushed at the flowers River held in his hands, and his heart fluttered at the beautiful smile on River's face, knowing it was for him, and that River had driven here on his lunch break, across town, despite the pain it would cause him.

Standing from his chair, he walked over to the door.

"I'll be right back," he said to the class, and heard their murmurs as he stepped out into the hall.

"Are those for me?" he asked, nodding at the flowers in River's hand. They were a beautiful combination of roses, carnations, and lilies interspersed with baby's breath, and they were almost as stunning as the man holding them.

River's smile grew wider as he handed them to Skye. "Happy Valentine's Day," he said, and Skye's eyes grew wide.

"Oh, shit. I totally forgot. I didn't get you anything," he grimaced.

River smiled. "If it makes you feel any better I picked those up on the way here, and it was kind of a last minute decision ‘cause I forgot, too. I guess neither of us is really used to celebrating Valentine's Day."

Skye smiled again. "That does make me feel a little bit better. Thank you." He gestured to the flowers he was holding now. "They're beautiful. And coming all the way over here was really sweet of you."

River stepped closer and placed a chaste kiss on Skye's cheek. "I'll see you tonight," he said. "I love you."

"I love you too," Skye said, and squeezed his boyfriend's hand before he walked away.

The questions that inundated him when he opened the door again were overwhelming, and he couldn't keep the smile off of his face for the rest of the day.