12. River

River had a bit more pep in his step a week later. His tailbone wasn't giving him as much grief as it had been. He'd been doing his stretches, even though it made him feel ridiculous. He'd reapplied the tape like they had told him to when necessary, he'd even gone back in to see the therapist for another session and to have more internal work done, breaking up the scar tissue like she'd recommended. And he could feel some relief now. Not a lot, but some.

He was proud of himself for taking that step, as hard as it had been for him emotionally, to do what he needed to do physically. To take control of his health, of his life, to not let his past stand in the way of having a healthy present or a healthy future. He'd learned that these walls were going to keep coming up, and he would keep knocking them down, pushing forward, and becoming the best version of himself he could possibly be. He was worthy of healing. And that's what he told himself at every appointment. When he felt that pressure inside of him, when he felt his anxiety spike, he remembered that he was in control, and that he was safe. But he also knew that he could never have made it as far as he had without Skye. Without his loyalty, compassion, kindness, and support. He pushed River to be better every single day, and to live the life that he deserved. River couldn't ask for a better friend.

He pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop where Anna had asked him to meet her, and climbed out of his car. He was looking forward to seeing her. It'd been a tough couple of months for her, he knew, with them not being able to go places like they used to. He hated that. Honestly, he was a little surprised she hadn't broken up with him because of it. But she hadn't. She was still here, checking in on him, asking how he was doing. Visiting with him at his condo when she could. They had managed one date recently where River had taken her on a tour of Christmas lights, and they'd sipped on hot chocolate while they walked around, admiring the different displays, until they had gotten too cold and returned to the condo to watch a movie, with River lying on the sofa yet again.

He had told her that he'd started some new therapy but hadn"t gone into detail about it. He wasn't really comfortable with that yet. But now that he could see a light at the end of the tunnel again he was hoping Anna and he could start to see more of each other, get things back on track. She'd been very patient, and he was hopeful that if he could start sitting for longer periods of time he could actually take her to a movie or dinner again. In the meantime maybe they could try bowling, or indoor mini golf, now that he didn't have as much pain when he bent over.

He'd decided he wanted to try and be more active again in general. It'd been months since he'd done something that truly made him happy. Unfortunately his ankle wasn't healed to the point where he could go running or rock climbing yet, but he was hopeful that in the next month or so it would be.

"Hey," he said with a smile when he saw her sitting at a small two person table in the corner of the cafe. Her red hair was down, falling over her shoulders, and she wore a black sweater with dark jeans and black boots. She had one leg crossed over the other and was playing with one of her earrings as she sipped on her coffee.

"Hi," she said, giving him a small smile in return.

He set his seat cushion down and sat on top of it. "We'll see how long this lasts. I haven't been anywhere but a doctor's office in a while and I'm only starting to feel some improvement."

"That's okay," she said, glancing down. "This won't take long." Her gaze met his and there was genuine sadness in her eyes.

River flushed and his heart stopped. "What do you mean?" His eyes danced over her face. "Are…are you breaking up with me?" He barely choked out the words. And when Anna's eyes started to fill with tears and she reached over to take his hand, he jerked it away, tears filling his eyes now, too. He pressed his lips together and looked away.

"Just listen, River," she pleaded gently. "Please. Before you go jumping to conclusions and assuming this is about your health issues, or us not spending as much time together as I'd like, because it's not. I like you, a lot. A lot, a lot. And I know you've been through a ton of crap the last few months that's not in your control, and you're doing the best you can to deal with it. You've been super honest about your past and your mental health struggles, and I respect that so much. In fact, it makes me love you more."

River looked at Anna and blinked, his chest constricting as he spoke through tears. "Wait, you…" he swallowed. "You love me?"

Anna nodded. "I think I do," she said, wiping away the tear that slid down her cheek.

River's head was spinning. "Then why are you breaking up with me?"

She reached for his hand once again and this time he let her take it. Looking into his eyes, both of them crying, she said, "Because, River, you don't love me, and you never will."

He gaped, eyes widening. "What? How can you know that?"

She gave a sad smile. "I just do," she said, squeezing his hand. "Your heart belongs to someone else. But I'll always be here, if you need someone to talk to." She stood up and kissed him lightly on the forehead, then walked away.

River sat there, stunned, confused, and heartbroken.

Skye

"Hey, you're back early," Skye said when he came out of the bedroom and saw River lying on the couch. "Does that mean your tailbone was hurting too much? I thought the therapy was helping." He made his way into the kitchen and started to make dinner.

"It is," River said softly, not looking at him. "My tailbone is okay, Skye."

"Oh, good. Guess I'll cook for two then. What do you want?"

"I'm not really hungry." River's gaze still didn't meet his as he played with the creases on the sofa.

"What's wrong? Is everything okay with you and Anna?"

River's chest heaved and then his eyes finally met Skye's. It was only then that Skye saw they were red and puffy behind his glasses.

"She broke up with me." He sniffled. "She told me she loved me, and then she broke up with me." His chest heaved once more as he removed his glasses and held them in one hand, wiping at his eyes with the other.

"What? Why would she do that?" Anna was crazy about River. Skye knew she was. He never thought she would be the one to break up with him. Not in a million years. Shit. He just couldn't catch a break.

River sniffled. "I don't know. She said something about my heart belonging to someone else."

A loud banging noise reverberated throughout the condo when the pan Skye had been holding hit the kitchen floor, his breath leaving his body at the same moment. He stood in the kitchen, unable to move, stunned, his heart pounding.

"Skye?" River said, jerking up from the couch at the noise. "What was that? Are you okay?"

Skye snapped out of his daze. "Yeah," he said, bending over to pick up the pan. "Just clumsy. Sorry. Are you okay?" He was ten different kinds of flustered right now and his brain was only functioning at about ten percent capacity, and for some reason he couldn't figure out where to set the stupid pan down. But his hand was shaking, so eventually he settled on the stove and took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. Did Anna mean him? Who else could she have meant? But he couldn"t allow himself to think that River could have feelings for him, because if he was wrong, there would be no coming back from that. Loving River, and not telling him was one thing. But believing River loved him back, and then having that stripped away, was a pain he couldn't live through.

River wiped his eyes and stood, making his way over to the bar as he slid his glasses back on. He rested his forearms on the counter as Skye washed his hands in the sink across from him. "I'm not so good right now," he said, "but I will be, I guess. I kind of have to be." He shrugged. "As much as it hurts, and as much as I know I cared about her and enjoyed being with her, I have to admit I wasn't in love with her. And maybe she's right. Maybe I never would have been. So maybe it's for the best. She deserves someone who will love her back. And I don't think that's me."

"You'll find the right person some day, Riv."

"So will you, Skye." River gave him a small smile.

I found you ten years ago, River.