Library

Chapter 3

Chapter 3StellaMom smiled sweetly at me, looking up from where she stirred cream and sugar into her coffee, all bound up in her big, fluffy tartan nightrobe. This early in the morning, the sunlight in through the windows was still thin and wispy, and Mom had an orange glow about her in the light from the lodge fireplace crackling next to the breakfast table.“Good morning, sweetheart,” she said. “Did you and Abigail get some good sleep?”I made an awkward noise in my throat. “You couldn’t have, you know… mentioned we were sharing a room?”She frowned. “Your father didn’t tell you?”How did I know… I scratched the back of my neck, looking around at where the lodge was still mostly empty—Mom and I had always been early risers—but was starting to come alive. “Nope.”“Well,” she said, her voice just a little bit tart. “That would be why you didn’t hear anything. I hope you were able to sleep okay.”I had no idea how to explain how it had gone, mostly because I wasn’t sure, either. Abigail had been so… weird. Nervous, anxious. Like she wouldn’t look right at me. We’d shared a bed so many times before, I hadn’t even thought anything of it, but with how stiff and uncomfortable she’d been lying on the edge of the bed as far from me as she could, I’d asked her if she wanted me to sleep on the floor and give her some more space. Somehow it had just made things worse, and we’d fallen asleep in silence, with me lying there long into the night wondering what I’d done wrong.I knew friendships just… didn’t always grow up with the people in it. Going two different places for college broke countless high school friendships. I just hadn’t expected it.Maybe I’d just… thought we were special.I decided to push my luck a little. “Did something happen to Abigail?” I said, sidling up next to her at the breakfast table. It was a simple offering, some fruits and oatmeal, a couple of pastries, and a coffee bar, but I knew I couldn’t spoil my appetite with the promised exciting breakfast up soon. I busied my hands prepping a cup of coffee with cream, but I could feel Mom’s eyes on the side of my head.“She just seemed really tired to me. I can imagine why.”“Seemed like it was something more than that… just wondering if she told you anything. She barely looked at me.”She sighed, looking down at her coffee and her tiny chocolate chip muffin. “I wonder if this was a bad idea… I thought maybe she could use some family time like this so she didn’t feel too alone when she got back to the US.”“Don’t blame yourself. She’s a grown-up. She could have refused if she didn’t want to come. We know she’s done it before…”“Too true,” she said with a wry smile my way, looking at where the lodge desk staffer opened the door behind the reception desk, stepping out with an armload of papers and working on shuffling through them. I didn’t think I’d ever seen anyone so cheerful going through a mountain of paperwork… maybe people really did like working in Christmas Land.“I don’t know. It felt like I’d done something to make her upset, not like it was something about her being here…”Mom turned back to me with a soft look, putting a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure she just misses Scotland. It was her first time somewhere that far, and… well, I feel like she’s the kind of person who loves her independence. I’ll bet she loved the experience and just…” She gestured idly. “Resents being back here? I know I felt the same way when I came back from California. But it passed. It will for her too.”I hoped she was right. It made sense. I just couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling that wasn’t quite it. I cupped my coffee in both hands, sipping it while I let my gaze drift to the wreath over the mantle, and I jolted back when the desk staffer spoke from the other side of the table.“Good morning, Julia. Did you sleep well?”Mom set down her coffee with a grateful smile his way. “Like a log. I felt like I’d just run a marathon. Just wish I could go back for another six hours…”He grinned at her, tidying up the breakfast display as two of my cousins came down the stairs chatting to each other. “If you want to sneak back in for a nap, I’ll tell anyone who asks that you’re not here.”He checked the coffee dispensers before he headed back for the desk, and I glanced between him and Mom. “Making friends with the staff?”She hung her head. “Charlie’s a lifesaver… helped out yesterday night when Clarissa was upset. I’m glad you missed it. You and Abigail were both asleep, Clarissa woke up from a bad dream crying her little heart out wanting to go home.”“Poor thing…”“She was insisting on storming out of the lodge like she could just go drive herself home. Charlie caught us there and pretended like he was one of Santa’s secret helpers and she’d just caught him while he was working, and he agreed to show her his part of the workshop as long as she promised not to tell anybody. Took her into the back. I’ve never seen a child look so amazed at filing cabinets and a printer.”I laughed, looking back at where he was greeting my cousins by name. “Some people take their work so seriously.”“That’s the magic of a place like this,” Mom said, stirring her coffee idly as her gaze drifted to the window. “It’s not just that it’s Christmas, it’s that… people are doing something they care about. And it shows.”It had been a while since I’d been able to have a proper conversation with Mom. I didn’t know if it was the calm, quiet morning atmosphere here or just being able to breathe easy now that the divorce was in progress, but she seemed so different… like she had her hair down for the first time in a while. It was probably weird to feel proud of your mom for being her authentic self, like I was congratulating a middle schooler. “That’s really sweet of him. I’m glad we’re here.”Mom cupped her coffee close to her lips with a sigh. “Now if we can just convince Faith of that too, we’ll be on to a Christmas miracle.”A clattering came from the stairs, and I looked at where Clarissa came hurrying down the stairs, Dad close behind, barefoot and wearing a nightrobe, looking like he’d just fallen out of bed chasing where Clarissa was giggling and running towards us. Mom popped the rest of the muffin in her mouth, turning to catch Clarissa giggling in her arms. I could see Mom’s whole posture change as Dad came towards her speaking quietly, her shoulders tensing, an air of stress and fatigue around her, and I sighed, backing away from the scene there. I jolted when I bumped into someone, turning back with an apology on my lips to where the desk staffer smiled at me.“Sorry about that,” he said.“No—that’s all me. I’m sorry.” I gave him a small smile, relaxing. “I hear you, uh… showed my little sister the secret workshop.”He tutted, setting down the stack of napkins on the breakfast table as another few people streamed down into the lobby. He was a tall guy, just a bit under six foot, with a well-trimmed beard and a light in his eyes that made him look like he had been working together with Santa. I think he’d found his calling with this place. “Sounds like Clarissa went back on her promise, sharing Santa’s secrets. I’ll have to notify Santa about it.”“Thought he was always watching. Sees you when you’re sleeping…”He smiled wider. “The man’s a bit busy this time of year.”“It was my mom who told me. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Clarissa tells me, along with a big smile saying she’s not supposed to tell me…” I shook my head, a smile on my lips. “Just wanted to say thanks. Mom’s a bit stressed.”He glanced at where she was caught in a tense conversation with Dad, and back to me. “What picks her up, do you know? Gifts?”“Oh, yeah. For sure. I’ll probably sniff around, see if I can find a good place for cute ornaments or something…”He had a pen and a pad of paper in an instant, scrawling down a name before he tore the sheet off and handed it over to me. “My recommendation? This is the best place for something really heartfelt.”I took it carefully, looking at his neat, sharp handwriting. North Pole, Mayberry and 2nd. “You go above and beyond on everything?”“It’s how it is in the business. You know—Santa business.”“Uh-huh. Well, I’ll visit the place later. Thank you.”“No problem. Might be cute to take your girlfriend.”I stopped midway through stuffing the note away. “Er—sorry?”“It’s a good place for a date.”“Uh…” I furrowed my brow. “I don’t… have a girlfriend.”He raised his eyebrows. “The girl you’re sharing a room with?”“Oh—uh.” I laughed, more nervous than I should have been. Everything with Abigail was messing me up. “I see how you’d reach that conclusion, but… Abigail and I are just friends.”“Ah.” He gave me a knowing smile. I frowned.“What?”“Nothing. Looks like I’m needed… you ever need anything, you know where to find me.”He turned with a lightness in his step, heading back to where Grandpa Ron was looking impatient at the desk, and with a sensation I couldn’t quite name, I folded the paper and slipped it into my pocket.Dates aside… maybe Mom was right. If Abigail was just sad about being back in the US, maybe it would help to take her to nice places, make some fun memories together. Taking her gift-shopping was an idea I suddenly couldn’t get out of my head, and I found myself stealing back up the stairs, slippers padding quietly over the floorboards and along the carpet runner in the hallway before I knocked quietly at door 21 and unlocked it.“Hope that’s you and not a new roommate,” Abigail’s voice said from inside, and I peeked my head inside to where she stood in front of the floor mirror with its old cedar frame, buttoning up a neat shirt.“Morning. Sorry to jump in on you while you’re getting dressed.”She gave me a quick smile laced with nervous energy before she turned back to the mirror, adjusting her shirt. “That’s a big concern for the person who walks around without pants on?”“I don’t just wander off pantsless into the wilderness, ma’am. It’s just because it’s you.”She turned away a little more, clearing her throat. I didn’t know what I was doing. What was it that kept getting her strung up tight in nerves? Why did she look so painfully uncomfortable to be around me?This did not just look like she missed Scotland.Still, even with everything, it was nice to see her again. Felt like a piece of me was put back into place—a missing puzzle piece that had been yanked away when I found out she was going to study at a different university. I’d told myself so many times it was for the best, that I had to learn how not to be codependent, that this happened to high school friendships all the time and that it would be a good test for how well we could keep up our friendship into adulthood too, and I’d almost succeeded in convincing myself, but when I saw her in front of me again like this, I felt like I needed to hold on and never let go.She’d grown up a bit—she’d had major baby face when we graduated high school, and her face had changed since then. One part of me felt upset that I’d missed so much, but mostly I couldn’t help but marvel how she was still the prettiest person I’d known in my life. It had only made her look better—her cheekbones more pronounced, a delicately sloped jawline, the sharp lines of her eyes and the soft shape of her small, slim nose I’d always been jealous of, she was honestly just too pretty for this world. I’d always alternated between feeling jealous and feeling lucky to know the actual prettiest person in the world.I stepped inside, shutting the door behind me, and I leaned back against it with an uncharacteristic shy feeling in my chest. “Hey, um… I wanted to ask you out somewhere with me.”“Uh—what?” She gave me a wide-eyed look, and I was too self-conscious to meet her gaze all of a sudden.“I want to get something nice for my mom. She’s been stressed to death lately, and the desk staffer gave me a recommendation for a cute place to go. Do you want to go together? After breakfast?”“Oh…” She cleared her throat, giving herself one more look in the mirror, fussing with her hair. She still had it long—straight chestnut-brown hair that spilled over her shoulders. She’d always complained about her long hair, but her parents were so fussy they’d never let her cut it… I’d kind of assumed she’d cut it when she went to university, let alone going abroad.“It’d be fun,” I said. “I know neither of us are big on the crowds, so… thought it would be good to get some Christmas together, away from all of it.”She scratched her head, looking out the latticed window at where snow drifted down on the gable roof of the restaurant across from us. “Well, when you put it like that, who would I be to turn down getting away from this all?”“I mean, I’m competing against things like coming back here for a nap, hiding in the back of your car and hoping nobody finds you…”“Running into a snowbank and disappearing from civilization. Really, it’s some stiff competition. You should be flattered I’m choosing you.”I lit up, pushing off from the door and crossing the old, creaking floorboards towards her, slippers padding over the rug before I sank against her side in a hug. I hadn’t even thought about it—my feet had just carried me, and I hadn’t been able to bear being too far. She stiffened.“Very flattered,” I said. “I mean, I remember the last time we ran away together. Brave of you to pick it again after how Mom and Dad reacted…”“Somehow I think this is… lower-stakes than driving to another state without telling anyone.” Still, despite the awkward stiffness, she met me in the hug, letting me hold there for admittedly longer than I should have, just trying to commit to memory the way she felt.It was with a sinking feeling that I had to admit to myself, especially with how she’d been acting around me, that she’d be gone again after this trip. Back to how we’d been the last two years, and probably like that forever. So I just… just wanted to etch it into my muscle memory what it felt like to hold onto her.Maybe I was codependent.

Comments

0 Comments
Best Newest

Contents
Settings
  • T
  • T
  • T
  • T
Font

Welcome to FullEpub

Create or log into your account to access terrific novels and protect your data

Don’t Have an account?
Click above to create an account.

lf you continue, you are agreeing to the
Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy.