14. Orla

CHAPTER 14

Ilay weeping in the box. Kase placed me in here before he left. I listened to that cruel pit viper admit that he was responsible for his boyfriend's father's death. The powerlessness I feel now is overwhelming. I can't say anything to Kase because it's my word against his boyfriend and he hates me. It will seem like the desperate ramblings of a lunatic. My tears flow because I know that I'm alone and won't be disturbed. I have no one to be hard for or deny my vulnerability to. I'm free to just feel and wrap my head around all of this. The questions assault me in this crowded space, but the answers hide in the seams of the wood that make up my coffin. The tears roll down and pool in the folds of my ears and over my cheeks, past the corners of my mouth. I hear movement outside and raise a hand to wipe my face. I feel the box being pulled and then the lid opens. It's Kase, he tells me to go to my room and to get ready.

Ilay in the bath waiting to be summoned. My head still spinning from what I heard and what to do about it. My mind drifts back to what I need to get ready for and I try to gather the courage to not give either of them what they want - no matter what. Kase summons me upstairs and I'm blindfolded and ushered into the closet. I hear the secret door open. It leads to their sex dungeon. He knows it terrifies me. The things in here are like something out of a medievil movie. They tell me to undress, and I obey. I try to swallow to compensate for the salty taste in my mouth, that my fear seems to be creating, but my mouth is dry. I take off my clothing and then they tell me to remove my underwear too. Once my bra and panties are off, one of them takes me roughly by the hand and leads me further into the room. I feel myself being strapped into a leather piece of furniture. The smell of the material nauseates me, and I have to fight the dry heaving. A ball is placed in my mouth and the attached strap is fastened to the back of my head. I am gagging on the ball and struggle to breathe, which increases the fear that I feel. I hear the sound of a whip being cracked and shake my head involuntarily. I try to control it, but I can't. The fear takes hold. The first lash hits my buttocks, and the searing pain courses through me. I let out a scream but cannot breathe and scream with the ball in my mouth. As one of them lashes me again, I feel something being clipped onto my nipples and the pain feels like a stab. The second one comes quickly and as I give up. That is until I begin to scream and cry it just seems to spur them on and they ramp things up until I feel something being inserted into me and the churning sound as it's opened. The pain rushes through my body like electric shocks through a barefoot electrician. Intense and unrelenting. My tears and screams do nothing to entice them to show mercy, and I surrender to the darkness.

Iawake in the bed on my back. Naked and the first thing I feel is the pain from the lashes. I try to turn and find relief. My body feels like a giant wound, raw and pulsing. The tears come swiftly and without end. They flow like a neglected faucet, and I don't even attempt to quell them. I slow my breathing because the vomiting makes the pain worse. I feel sticky and lift my hand to feel between my legs. My fingers emerge covered in blood and I blink back the tears to see more clearly, all the while hoping that I'm imagining it. I'm not, I fight the pain to lift myself off the bed. I've been placed on towels probably to hide what's been done to me from the servants. The towel clings to my back, and I hear a tearing sound as I rip it from the open wounds on my back. I make my way slowly to the bathroom. My face is unbruised, but I struggle to see what my back and butt look like. I take a towel and I try to clean the blood from between my legs. I go to the shower and turn on the water because I don't think I can lower myself into a bath. I probably won't be able to get out. I scream as the hot water burns the wounds and then remove the hand-held shower and attachment move my legs as far apart as possible before placing the nozzle between my legs and flipping the switch. I bite down on my wrist because I forgot to bring a towel into the stall with me. I hold it in place until the searing burn eases a little and I read the label of the fresh bottle of shower soap and notice that it contains tea tree oil. I rub the soap into the wounds that I can reach and just stand there to endure the burn for as long as I can before turning the water back on. Lifting my face toward the shower head, I just stand that way until I'm sure that I can't drown this way. I have never, ever wanted to die as much as I do at this moment. My mind scrambles like a falling person. I plan my escape. Perhaps if I can at least get to my father and tell him what I know, even if he does nothing with it. He'll know that I'm not paying another man's debt any longer. I don't just plan my escape from this hell but from my family, too. I need to leave and go to a place that they'll never find me, any of them.