Chapter Eight

Wait. No. This couldn't be right. When Taryn arrived at the address Ashley had texted her, she parked the car she'd borrowed from Caz in front of a small white church with three wooden steps in front and a single black cross on top of the building. Simple, old fashioned, and secluded. The church was off by itself down a lonely road. Not exactly what she'd expected for their evening. She wondered if she might be murdered. She watched through her windshield as a family made their way inside. Then another. "What the hell?" she murmured. She climbed out of her car and surveyed the parking lot until she spotted a brunette in all black, pulling a camera bag from the back of an old Jeep Cherokee, the car Ashley had mentioned she drove.

"Ashley?" she asked as she approached. "Taryn." She touched her chest.

"Yes. Stoked you're here. Can you carry my light stand?"

"On it." She grabbed the stand and hurried to catch up to Ashley, who hadn't exactly waited for her. "Can I ask what we're doing here?"

Ashley looked over at her and grinned. "Should have led with that. My bad. I heard about this little church and its very dedicated congregation and made arrangements to shoot through their hymn sing-along tonight. Waivers signed and all."

"Awesome. Um…why?" Taryn wasn't criticizing the choice. She simply didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle.

Ashley hooked a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear and tossed her long wispy bangs. She looked every bit the part of photographer. "Senior thesis. You'll have one, too. Art is capable of communicating the unending range of human emotions. My project is about presenting them in their most specific form to gain understanding of the array. We've all seen glorious photos of happy people, sad people, even mad as hell, right?"

"Right." Taryn was intrigued, and especially captivated by the gleam of passion in Ashley's brown eyes as she spoke.

"But what does sublime look like when captured in its most individual state? What about awe? My project is an exploration of all the in-between."

"Wow. Okay. I like that idea a lot."

"I needed an extra pair of hands today. If you could cover me on lighting and manage the reflector, that would be great. But I'm happy to walk through my steps." Ashley paused as if something snagged her attention from the topic at hand. "You're a lot to look at."

Taryn rolled her lips in, dissecting the comment. She wasn't sure if the implication was good or bad. "I don't know what that means."

Ashley laughed. "You're pretty. And maybe new to this? Just a guess."

"To photography?"

"To being a queer." She winced. "I get the vibe you are, but I'm so sorry if you're not. I hate overstepping. And of course, you don't have to say." Ashley's brown eyes were friendly when she said it, and no one had ever read Taryn so quickly before. It caught her off guard but simultaneously thrilled her, being seen.

"I am a lesbian, and yeah, it's kind of new." And now she was smiling, too. "I'm impressed that you just knew."

Ashley nodded. "It's one of my few gifts." She walked on, leaving Taryn to wonder if Ashley was a lesbian, too, and had she just flirted with Taryn? She really had to get better at this stuff.

They spent the next forty-five minutes moving around the small church, made up of eight rows with one center aisle. The members of the congregation sang loudly from their hearts as Ashley worked to capture them in various states of worship. Taryn did her best to keep up, using what lighting knowledge she'd picked up in class, and followed Ashley's quietly offered direction. But seeing the experience play out through the lens of Ashley's thesis was a truly inspiring experience. Each emotion-filled facial expression, whether it was a woman singing her favorite hymn from childhood, or a child mesmerized by the stained-glass window near the altar, had something important to contribute, a moment in time not to be overlooked.

"That was amazing," Taryn said on a high as they made their way back to the parking lot, gear in hand. "There was this visual energy just pinging everywhere, and when I think about the individual moments and their assembly, there are so many different stories that could be told. It all just depends on the angle of the approach. The narrative would be entirely different depending on who was shooting and what photos they selected to showcase and in what order."

"Exactly that. Yes!" Ashley said, matching her enthusiasm. "For that very reason, I always seek out places where people feel something important. I'm not even a religious person, but the combined energy of people coming together for something that has meaning to them is a powerful thing."

"You don't have to convince me. Did you get some good stuff?"

"So much. I can't wait to go through it all." She touched Taryn's wrist briefly. "You were awesome, by the way. Roger was right about your eye. You saw things I would have missed in there." She leaned against her Jeep and turned her head to Taryn. "So, what's your story, if you don't mind my asking." She offered a friendly smile. Ashley was easy to like, respectful and talented and kind.

Taryn searched for the high points. "My first semester at Hillspoint. I'm made a handful of friends and spend way too much time on my photography classes. But I've always worked hard in school."

"Common problem. And you're recently out?" She placed a hand on her own cheek.

Taryn nodded. The conversation had her in her happy place, affirmed by someone she respected and was beginning to like. "That part has been, I don't know, encouraging in many ways."

"I remember coming out my senior year of high school. The most liberating and terrifying thing I've ever gone through. If you ever need anyone to chat with or a sounding board…"

"Awesome of you to offer. I'll remember that."

"You're also incredibly pretty. Have you been kissed since you've been here?"

"No," she said automatically. A car pulled out near them. A breeze hit. Taryn blinked.

"You could tell me to go to hell, but you seem really cool, and I very much want to kiss you right now."

"What's stopping you?" Taryn asked after a beat. They were alone in the parking lot. The fluorescent street lamp buzzed overhead. She was aware of it all.

"Yeah?" Ashley asked, turning to Taryn and meeting her eyes unabashedly. This girl was unflappable and so incredibly smooth.

"Yeah," Taryn said, enjoying the moment. Ashley had a very nonthreatening vibe about her that quelled a tad of Taryn's anxiety.

A sweet smile appeared on Ashley's face, and she leaned in, paused, and captured Taryn's lips in a slow, lazy kiss. "You're a really good kisser."

"Yeah?" Taryn asked. Her body had gone warm, and she found herself in a dreamlike state. This had been entirely unexpected, but not at all unwelcome. She liked Ashley, and she liked their dynamic. The kiss didn't necessarily feel like anything other than what it was, a moment in time. Low-pressure.

"Mm-hmm." Ashley straightened. "Thank you for all your help today. I'm happy Roger thought we would work well together."

"Same," Taryn said, in slight amazement at what they'd just done and wishing she'd cobbled together a more eloquent response.

"Maybe we can work another project together sometime. If nothing else, I'd love to show you the final product of the shoot today."

"Yes. For sure. Thank you." Thank you? Why did she have to exist?

Ashley laughed. "You're cute and really awesome, Taryn. Have a good one, okay? Let's talk soon about your next class project."

"I'd love it. Good night!" Taryn stepped away from the Jeep and watched as Ashley started the engine and pulled away, her headlights shrinking into the night.

Alone in the parking lot of an old church, Taryn touched her now sensitive lips and smiled. She needed to learn to expect the unexpected, apparently. Either way, that kiss made her feel like she had joined the land of the living. Was Ashley Taryn's type? Not exactly. But she'd made Taryn feel special, and hot, and noticed, which counted for a whole hell of a lot. Maybe they'd kiss again. Maybe not. Either way, Taryn felt alive and happy, enjoying her little gay life, going on shoots, kissing girls in parking lots like it was no big deal. Big, happy sigh. She could really get used to this.

* * *

"Are you nervous or something, babe?" Danny asked, his eyes on Charlie as she adjusted the place settings for the third time. His mother would be there in under twenty minutes, and as much as she adored the woman, she certainly had strong opinions for days. As her own mother's best friend, Monica was the closest thing she had left to a parent in her life, and Charlie wanted to impress her more than she had even fully admitted to herself. Monica's opinion mattered. It just did.

"I'm not nervous, but I do want tonight to be nice. I want her to be comfortable and see our life and think that we're doing just fine because we are." She wanted to believe her own words, but Charlie knew better. Something wasn't right between her and Danny. They were best friends who'd made the leap to a relationship, and now it was up to her to fix what wasn't working.

"And it will be." He opened the bottle of cab she'd set out and allowed the wine to breathe. He thought of those details that she sometimes missed. "Can I pour you a glass?"

"I think I'll wait."

She'd been looking forward to this dinner for weeks now, but the trepidation was starting to overtake the joy. Seeing Monica always drummed up memories of her mother, so many wonderful, happy, welcome reminders. But Monica also stirred up her grief, something she worked hard to contain. She missed her own mother more than she could quantify and knew unequivocally that she would feel it most potently today.

Two hours later and they'd already covered any and all small talk. Charlie's nerves were at ease, and she had to admit, it was really good to see Monica. Plus, the pot roast had been a hit, and the burgundy sauce was perhaps the best Charlie'd ever made. Even Monica had thought so.

"So…do we have anything important to discuss?" Monica asked and then looked expectantly between the two of them. "Any exciting plans? You know, for the future." She didn't come right out and ask if there was an engagement, but the insinuation was clear.

"Mom," Danny said.

"What? I'm a mother." She laughed, loud and warm. "And a future for you two kids was all Deirdre and I ever wanted, so I might be overly excited to see it all coming to fruition. I just wish she was here with us to enjoy it as much as I am."

"Totally allowed," Charlie said, placing a hand over Danny's. "And I like to think that she is." She exhaled slowly. "I think we're just hyperfocused on surviving the semester and not murdering each other in the midst of class critiques."

"If he's being too hard on you, you call me," Monica said with an exaggerated glare. She tapped her mauve-painted fingernails on the table as if preparing for Mom battle.

"This is a helpful offer." Charlie turned to Danny. "I'll do it, too."

With that, he held up his hands. "Heard. I have no death wish. Now let me get those plates." Danny cleared their plates, and once coffee was served, Monica turned to Charlie. "How about a little one-on-one chat?"

Charlie grinned. "I'd love it. You got this?" she asked Danny, who stood at the sink in rinse mode.

"I can probably figure it out," he called over his shoulder.

Charlie led Monica to the small outdoor sitting area at the back of her apartment. It had been a selling point in the early days when she'd first visited. The back of the complex faced a wooded area thick with trees and a walking path. It was Charlie's peaceful place, where she came to think and decompress.

"This is adorable," Monica said, surveying the natural surroundings. "Your own little carved-out slice of nature."

"I sit out here a lot, actually," Charlie said. "Sometimes I even talk to Mom."

Monica's eyes went soft. "I guarantee she hears you. Whenever I talk to her, I get a little tingle on the back of my neck, and I know that's her way of giving me a nudge." Monica sighed. "She'd be so excited about you and Danny, Charlotte. You have no idea. We used to joke about you two growing up and making us grandmas, and I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I can tell you that I speak for the both of us when I say that it would be wonderful." She squeezed Charlie's wrist. "No pressure." The laugh she tossed in helped ease the weight of the comment, but she was, in fact, serious.

"She was always trying to get us together." A romance with Danny had seemed a foreign concept to her back then. But after her mom passed, Danny almost felt like a way of being closer to her. In many ways, it seemed like she was fulfilling a wish of her mom's. That part felt really good. She just had to find a way to make their relationship spark the way it should. She needed to feel…off-center, excited, giddy, or downright flushed, the way she had the other day after her shower when Taryn—

The thought came to a screeching halt on command, but there was already heat creeping up her neck. She sipped her coffee, hoping the action would distract her brain, but she wound up choking on it and sputtering like a lunatic.

"You okay, sweetie?" Monica took the mug from Charlie's hand and set it safely on the table. She raised an eyebrow and waited until Charlie regained control. "That snuck up on you, didn't it?"

"You can say that again," Charlie said. Because dammit, had it ever. "Sorry. Sometimes talking about Mom brings it all rushing back." She exhaled slowly, a confession bubbling. "I miss her so much my chest hurts at night when I think about all I didn't get to tell her that day."

"That makes you a human being. And the next time that happens, you call me. Tell me all about your day. Danny or not, you're my best friend's little girl, and I will always be here for you. Do you hear me?" Her voice was coated in conviction on that last part.

"I hear you. And it means more to me than you'll ever know." Monica made her feel not alone, a mother figure when she could really use one. Her voice had lost half its strength and an uncomfortable lump arrived in Charlie's throat because Monica's eyes were now wet and full. Grief was swift in its arrival. Always had been. That was one thing she'd learned over the past three years. A single moment could be turned on its head the second grief entered the chat. She'd never get used to it. Ever. Her mom should be here. Why didn't the Universe take her asshole father instead? "And if it makes you feel better, Danny and I talked about rings not too long ago." She was trying to throw Monica a bone, longing to make her happy. The truth was that he'd asked what kind of ring she might be interested in when a commercial had come on television one night. She'd completely evaded the topic, surprised by how wildly uncomfortable it had made her.

Monica drew in a loud, excited breath. "I knew it. I don't know how, but I knew you two were quietly making plans." She held up a hand as if to stop herself from going too far. "But I don't want to rush you. Just know that if Deirdre was here, we would have to run around the side of the building and squeal a little. We would have been the hippest grandmas together."

"I believe it." Charlie smiled, basking in the joy that now radiated off Monica because of the truth she'd stretched. Charlie had always been a people pleaser, probably going back to never wanting to ruffle any feathers when her father was in the vicinity. Like the perfect little soldier, she did what she could to keep peace in the house, not just for herself but for her mom, too. Old habits died hard.

"What did I miss?" Danny asked, joining them.

"Charlie and I were just discussing the very bright future," Monica said and bumped her eyebrows at Charlie. "And I don't think I've ever been happier."

Danny looked slyly from Charlie to Monica. "Anything you'd care to share?"

"Absolutely not," Monica said. "Just between us girls. Isn't that right, Charlotte?"

"Definitely," Charlie said, sinking into herself a little more with each moment that passed.

She had trouble sleeping that night, unsure why she felt like she couldn't move when she had all the space in the world to stretch and breathe. Danny slept at his place because he planned to work out early and knew it was her day to sleep in. She touched the pillow, realizing she should probably miss him. Instead, her mind wandered to Taryn and how things had gone with her mentor. She hadn't heard from her in a couple of days and decided she'd reach out in the morning.

When she woke, she blinked at a message from Taryn on her phone.

Good morning, Charlie.

That was it. That's all the message said, but those three words put a smile on her face that stayed with her all morning. Her classes flew by, she laughed a little easier, and when the afternoon rolled around, she was still riding high. The only thing that could make things any better was blowing off her afternoon writing session and catching up with Taryn in person. Yes, she was leaning in to the good feelings, a very unexpected happy spot in her life, and calling it an experiment in flying by the seat of her pants. Giving in to the urge to spend time with this new friend made her feel like there was finally an abundance of air in the room. Taryn didn't expect or demand anything from her. In Taryn's eyes, she was an amazing writer and an even better cook. Not only did she feel like a superstar of a human in Taryn's presence, but she craved time in Taryn's presence as well. "So, let's see what she's up to today."

Want to stare at some trees?

Charlie waited on the playful dots, her stomach tight and her heart ready to take a small risk.