Chapter Fourteen

Sleep came easily that night. And though Charlie had always been a solo sleeper, preferring her space, sleeping with Taryn was different. They'd drifted off tangled up in each other, and at several points in the night Charlie woke to find them in different positions—Charlie's head on Taryn's shoulder or Charlie as the big spoon behind Taryn's back—but always touching in some way. In fact, Charlie couldn't imagine them not. It had led to one of the most perfect night's rest she could remember. If this was any indication of what their future might be like, Charlie was eager, excited, and full of an immense amount of gratitude. This felt right in every sense of the word.

She hadn't set an alarm that next morning because she didn't have anywhere to be until her final critique session with her short fiction class at eleven a.m. They'd be evaluating each others' resubmissions before hanging up their boxing gloves until the spring semester. Plus, she was in no rush to start her day when she had Taryn next to her in bed. That's why it was so jarring to hear the sound of her apartment door opening. She raised her head and blinked, attempting to orient herself. Sunlight was streaming in through the window, and Taryn, still asleep, was naked and pressed against her side, warm and wonderful.

Then who was in her apartment?

She quickly snuck out of bed, grabbed a long T-shirt, and made her way into the living room. There in the kitchen stood Monica, writing a note at her kitchen counter. She looked up when Charlie entered.

"Were you asleep? I'm so sorry for busting in on you." She placed a hand over her heart. "I had these books of your mom's to drop off, and they're so precious that I didn't want to leave them on the doorstep in case someone took them, so Danny let me use his key. Please forgive me."

That's right. Danny still had a key. She took a deep breath and forced a smile, attempting to bury her terror. Taryn was on the other side of that door, and this was not the moment for Monica to find out about them. "Oh, right. Danny mentioned that you had brought the books with you on your visit."

"And here I am." Monica held her arms open and Charlie dutifully moved into them, surprised and terrified. "So good to see you, sweetheart. Do you want to grab lunch a little later?"

"I wish I could. I have a critique session at eleven."

"That's right, Danny said that he—"

"Hey, where'd you go? Are you coming back to bed?" Taryn called in the pouty voice that Charlie would have loved in any other instance. She went still, unsure what move to make. Monica looked to her in question, brows drawn. Before either of them could say another word, Taryn emerged wearing Charlie's robe. "Charlie? Oh." Taryn paused. "I'm sorry. I'll just—" And she quickly slipped back into the bedroom.

"I bought you that robe for Christmas," Monica said, as if piecing together a puzzle. Her features changed in the next moment, and she stood a little straighter. The bottom dropped out from Charlie's stomach, and she felt like she was plummeting down a mine shaft into darkness. Her heart hammered and her brain raced, her logic not yet back online. But she knew one thing, this was not ideal. Monica eyed her. "I see that I've come at a bad time." Her voice was clipped and devoid of warmth.

"Just unexpected is all." Suddenly, Charlie was acutely aware of her own lack of clothing. "If you'll excuse me for just one moment."

"Of course," Monica said. "I'll make a pot of coffee…for us all."

"What just happened?" Taryn asked, arms crossed in front of her when Charlie entered.

She attempted to keep her voice measured and calm. A tall order. "Monica had a collection of books that belonged to my mother and is here to drop them off."

"And I just ruined everything, didn't I?" Taryn asked, looking horrified.

The panic had not subsided yet, but Charlie did what she could to slow down her breathing. "Definitely not an ideal morning," were the only words she could manage.

"I'm sure this is not how you wanted her to find out. Maybe she'll think I'm just a friend sleeping over."

Charlie closed her eyes, rejecting the notion. "She's Monica. Too smart for that. From the look on her face, I can tell you she knows exactly what we are to each other."

"Right. Okay." Taryn looked around like the solution might be sitting somewhere in the room. She was just as out of sorts as Charlie. "What would you like me to do?"

"Stay here." She took a beat. "And maybe get dressed."

Charlie hated having to say those words and the lack of warmth beneath them.

This was their first wake-up together. It didn't seem right or fair that after such a wonderful night, their sweet morning after had been snatched away. Instead of focusing on Taryn and making sure she was okay, happy, and taken care of, Charlie's objective was damage control. And Monica certainly hadn't seemed too happy about what she'd walked into.

When Charlie emerged from her bedroom in jeans and a red sweater, she found Monica in her kitchen making herself a cup of coffee. She turned as Charlie entered the room.

"Monica. I'm sorry about all this. It wasn't how I intended for you to find out."

Instead of answering, Monica took all the time in the world to blow on her coffee. "That was clear," she said finally. Monica never left the house without a full face of makeup and a perfect curated outfit, and today was no different. She peered at Charlie, her expertly lined eyes moving over her as if searching for clues, information. "Do you want to explain?"

"My friend Taryn stayed over last night." Even Charlie winced at the use of the word friend. Nothing felt right about it.

"Do you sleep in the same bed with all your friends?" Monica set her cup on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch. "Let's be grown-ups, Charlotte."

"Did Danny talk to you about him and me?"

"He said you'd pressed pause on the relationship. I had planned, when I saw you this morning, to find out if you were okay and to ask if you'd come to a decision about the holidays. They are looming, after all. I think I just received my answer."

Words and their arrangement, which had always been Charlie's strong suit, failed her. How did she explain that she was in the process of getting to know her true self and understanding who she was in a whole new sense? That she was experiencing a shockingly high level of happiness she hadn't known was an option? But no. She couldn't say any of that. Not when it came at the expense of Monica's son.

"Who is she, if you don't mind my asking?" Monica asked, taking a seat on the sofa and crossing her legs.

"A family friend I used to know from back in Dyer. We reconnected when she transferred to Hillspoint."

"I see. And is this"—she took a moment to select the word—"a relationship or merely an evening together? Think carefully."

This one was hard. She knew the answer without question but found it difficult to confess to Monica of all people. Instead of eye contact, she focused on Monica's dark pink nail polish and the round/square manicured edges of her nails. "I have true feelings for Taryn."

The silence was overwhelming.

"I hear you, and as always, I want the best for you, Charlotte. But I'm very much afraid that you've gotten caught up in something that could easily ruin your life." She snapped her fingers in demonstration.

"I promise, that's not the case," Charlie said, defenses flaring. Nothing about her feelings for Taryn felt like a mistake. They were the most honest thing Charlie had ever known. She just wasn't sure how to go about making Monica believe her. It would take time, she realized. Charlie would have to be patient, and she could. They were family, after all.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm afraid you've gone and lost your head over something shiny. It happens to all of us," Monica said with a sympathetic wince. "Come here." She stood and held her arms open for Charlie, who moved into them automatically because this was Monica, who mattered. She clearly wasn't ready to hear Charlie in this moment, but she would understand when time passed, and Charlie hadn't wavered.

"I promise you that's not what this is," Charlie said as Monica released her. "I do care about Danny and hope that we will always be friends. You all are my family, and I would hate to lose you just because the romance portion of our relationship has come to an end."

Monica nodded, but the kindness behind her eyes dried up. "I told your mother I would always be here for you, and I will." She picked up her mug, took another sip, and moved to place it in the sink. "The whole thing is a great shame. Are you a lesbian now, Charlie?" She'd said it as if the words left an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

Monica was on the board of multiple organizations that supported LGBT rights and was liberal across most any social issue. Yet that support seemed hugely absent in their conversation. "I'm figuring it all out in real time."

Monica offered a slight shrug. "Then I suppose I'll check in on you when you know more. You're of course still invited for the holidays, should you choose to be there. We'd love to have you. Arlene will be making her famous brisket, which I remember was your favorite." She kissed Charlie's cheek and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. "I sincerely hope you know what you're doing and that you're right about this. Regret is an awful thing."

Charlie nodded. "I'm right."

"Famous last words." Monica offered what could only be described as a sad smile. "Good-bye, Charlie. We'll talk soon, okay?" She didn't wait for a response, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

Charlie exhaled slowly and gripped the back of the nearby chair to ground her. She was shaking, she only just realized, and felt like she might cry. Taryn emerged from the bedroom in the clothes she'd worn the night before, and Charlie didn't hesitate. She moved straight to her, pulled her in, and kissed her. In that moment, she needed that kiss not just for her, but for Taryn. To show her how important she was, to express it in the most vital way she knew how. Their morning had been turned upside down, but they didn't have to be. She wouldn't let that happen. Taryn kissed her back with just as much urgency, which in the end left them breathless and reconnected.

"I was coming out here to ask if you were okay," Taryn said, likely bewildered by the ambush.

Charlie ran her thumb across Taryn's bottom lip. "I'm going to be. That was so not how I wanted you to wake up this morning."

"The fact that you're even thinking about me right now says a whole lot." A soft smile appeared and Charlie felt it all over.

"I love your smile. You're gorgeous in the morning, you know that?"

Taryn touched her hair absently as if checking in on its status. She'd tamed it since Charlie saw her last, but there was still a wild quality that she liked a great deal. "I've not heard that before, but then again, no true overnights like this one." A small blush blossomed.

"I'm honored," Charlie said softly. "I'm going to pour you boring coffee."

"Good. The more boring, the better." Taryn took a seat on the couch. "I hope it's okay to say that I heard most of the conversation."

"It is." She paused, mug in hand. "It wasn't a great exchange. I don't think she wanted to hear what I had to say, and I'm not sure what to do about that." She hesitated but then pushed forward. "It left me off center."

"But you stood your ground, and I can't tell you how that made me feel."

She turned around, back against the counter. "Everything I said is the truth. All of it. These aren't passing feelings." She touched her chest. "I'm sure of that. You don't have to be. But I am."

Taryn was up and moving quickly until she stood in front of Charlie, downright in her space. "I know as plainly as I know it's a morning in winter that we're real." She exhaled. "I'm a relatively fearful person but not about this, okay? I refuse to be." She projected confidence and vulnerability, which was the perfect combination for the moment. It said she knew what she wanted and was open to the intimacy of their relationship. "And I love hearing that you're sure because I am, too." Taryn slipped her hands under Charlie's sweater to rest on the skin of her waist. She loved the little liberties Taryn took with her. The touches, the advances, the kissing. She'd never had a relationship where she craved the other person's touch with such intensity. Part of her wanted to crawl back in bed with Taryn, take their clothes off piece by piece, and just forget the world and everyone in it.

"Why does everything seem so much easier when I'm this close to you?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know, but it's the same for me." Taryn kissed her softly.

"I could really get used to feeling this way."

"I don't think I ever will," Taryn said, shaking her head. "I never in a million years thought I'd see you again, and I sure as hell never thought I'd be with you like last night." She let her head drop back and looked at the ceiling. "Which, can I say, was life altering."

Charlie took the opportunity to place a soft kiss on the column of Taryn's now exposed neck and felt Taryn tighten her grip on her waist. "I love the cues you gave me." Another kiss. "The way your fingers dug into my skin when you got close. So incredibly sexy. I can't stop thinking about it." She kissed Taryn's collarbone.

Taryn returned to looking at her, her eyes wide. "Are you trying to turn me on?"

"Maybe. It's a nice distraction from the trainwreck of a morning."

"We could make it better," Taryn said, stepping in and pressing Charlie more firmly to the counter. Her thumbs slid up Charlie's ribcage to the bottoms of her breasts. A spark of anticipation erupted across her skin. She felt herself go damp. Her shirt was pushed up. Taryn's hands moved to her breasts, at first over her bra, until she pulled the cups down, exposing them. God. Charlie gasped, her eyes slamming shut and then open again because she didn't want to miss a detail. "I don't have much time before class."

"Noted," Taryn said, pushing against her breasts, releasing them, rubbing a nipple between her thumb and forefinger, a move that made Charlie fully wet. She had no idea that was possible. She was aching and ready. Moments later, her jeans were undone and partially down her thighs. They were actually doing this. The presence of Taryn's hand in her underwear while she stood in her actual kitchen nearly sent her over the edge immediately. She pushed against it, fitting her hips into the rhythm Taryn set. Then she was inside Charlie, as the intensity rose to near painful heights. Just when she thought she couldn't take it another second, the pressure broke, and she was a shooting star hanging on to Taryn as the tidal wave of sensation engulfed her, wonderful and complete.

"Best thing ever," Taryn said quietly in her ear as she floated back to Earth. She pulled Taryn's hips up against her thigh and lifted it, to hear a murmur of appreciation from Taryn. She was just as aroused as Charlie had been, and late or not, she needed to do something about that. No choice.

"On the couch," Charlie said, reassembling herself into her clothing.

"No, you need to get ready to leave," Taryn said, but her eyes were hooded and had taken on a hazy quality.

"To the couch," Charlie said, kissing her jaw. "I'll make time."

Taryn took a seat and Charlie knelt in front of her, pulling Taryn's mouth to hers and kissing her, deep and long. All the while, her hands worked the button and zipper of Taryn's jeans, and when they came up for air, she tugged them right off. Taryn held her gaze as Charlie removed the last bit of clothing between them and settled her face between Taryn's thighs. She kissed the soft skin of one thigh and then the other, kissing her way to their apex. When her tongue touched Taryn intimately for the first time, she was greeted with a quiet murmur and adjustment on the couch. The circles she began to draw pulled a moan, and the repetitive swipes sent Taryn's breathing ragged and quick.

"What are you doing to me?" Taryn breathed, which was the perfect signpost for Charlie, who was following her instinct and making it up as she went. Drunk on power and desire, she continued to tease, to give a little and then take away until Taryn tossed her face to the side, rested her cheek on the couch, and said, "Please."

How could she resist? With the tip of her tongue, she altered her placement, moving in tiny circles where Taryn needed her most. It was seconds before Taryn cried out louder than she had the night before, arching her back and going still beneath Charlie's mouth, and it was the most satisfying thing in the world.

No. The morning hadn't started on the best note, but it had definitely ended on it.