Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

D eclan was an hour into Thursday night's shift at the bar when Aiden leaned over the bar. "Declan."

"What?" He didn't look up from the beer he was pouring. He was on edge, and it was taking all his discipline to stay focused, to not snap at the patrons. Usually, idiots at the bar didn't bother him, but tonight, every word was getting to him.

"Take a break."

"I'm fine."

"It's not a choice," Aiden said. "Take a break."

Declan looked at his friend. "I'm fine."

"Let Chaz work the bar for a bit. It's slow. It'll be good for him."

Chaz, their new bartender, looked alarmed. "What?"

"You've got it." Aiden slapped the bar. "Let's go, Declan. My office. Now."

Declan shoved the beer at the jerk who'd just called him something that would have gotten the guy arrested if Declan had been in his cop uniform, then strode after Aiden. He followed Aiden into his office, standing restlessly while Aiden sat down at his desk. "Close the door and have a seat, Declan."

Declan closed the door but remained standing .

Aiden leaned forward. "What the hell's going on with you tonight?"

Declan frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"Part of the reason this bar is so successful is because my bartender is coveted by every customer who's attracted to men, plus half of the ones who aren't. Everyone else wants to be you, or at least be your friend. But tonight, you've got no charm. I need the charm. Where's the charm?"

Declan blinked. "I'm not charming."

Aiden grinned. "No, you're not. You're the crankiest bartender I've ever had, actually, but you've got this edge to you that attracts people. And the last few days, you've been a hell of a lot more fun. Until tonight. What's going on? Trouble with the fake fiancée?"

Damn. Declan let out a breath. "I'm fucked," he admitted.

Aiden leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head. "What's going on?"

Wearily, Declan sank into the chair beside Aiden's desk. "Truth?"

"Hell, yeah. I'm selling less alcohol every minute that you're back here, but I'm afraid you're going to start crying into the beer and that's not going to help my sales, so lay it on me. Let's clear it."

Declan laughed softly. "You're super dramatic for a guy."

"I'm a bartender. I can turn on whatever mode I need to deal with whoever's drinking at my counter. Or crying, as the case may be, like with you. So, what's going on?"

"I'm not crying."

"I know. I'm giving you shit because I'm fun like that. But you still have to tell me what's going on, or I'll fire you. And then it'll get awkward between us, which is a sucky way to end a decades-long friendship. So, don't make me fire you. Talk to me."

Declan laughed softly. "You've fired me a bunch of times already."

"Yeah, but I never meant it. Tonight I will. It's a 'nineteen strikes and you're out' deal. This is nineteen." He leaned in. "All kidding aside, what the fuck is going on with you tonight? You can't shake it, and that's not like you." He paused. "Your interview is tomorrow. Is that it?"

Declan blinked. "Hell. I forgot about that."

"Then what is it?"

Declan ground his jaw. He'd been friends with Aiden for a long time, and they'd seen each other at their most raw. And helped each other through it. He met his friend's gaze. "It's Piper," he admitted. The minute he said it, his insides seemed to settle, as if they no longer had to shout to be heard.

Aiden raised his brows. "Things are going badly with her?"

"No, hell, no. It's fantastic. But…" He started laughing. "Ironically, Piper wants empty sex and a fake engagement. Just fun times and lies. She gave me a speech about it."

Aiden narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "You believe her?"

"She meant it." Fuck. He knew she did.

"But is she telling herself the truth? Because you keep telling yourself that you want to go back to being a cop, and you're lying to yourself. People do that."

Declan scowled at Aiden. "I don't need that shit from you."

Aiden sat back. "I've known you for a long time, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I know you don't want to work at this bar."

Declan grimaced. Was it that obvious? "I appreciate the job."

"I know. But you don't want it anymore. That's fine." Aiden grinned. "I also know you don't want to go back to being a cop."

"Now, that's not true?—"

"And I know you like this girl enough that she's worth pursuing."

Declan braced his elbows on his knees and looked at his friend. "I don't want sex without connection with her. I want it all."

Aiden grinned, a big shit-eating grin. "That's fantastic. Hell, yeah! "

Declan shook his head. "It isn't. I'm not ready for more, and I don't know that I ever will be."

Aiden nodded. "I get it," he said. "But the good shit in life usually doesn't come when you're ready. It comes before, and then you get ready in a hurry or you miss it."

Declan ground his jaw. "It doesn't matter if I want it or not. She doesn't want a relationship." But hell. He'd been cranky as hell ever since he'd agreed to keep emotions out of it.

"Right," Aiden agreed. "And then she proposed to you, slept with you, and won your heart. You really think she doesn't care?"

Declan stood up, pacing restlessly, thinking about that question. "All she wants is to get out of town. She deserves more than to have me fall for her and try to keep her here." He understood what drove her. He knew she needed to leave.

"Oh for hell's sake, Declan, that's just a bunch of excuses. You're fucking terrified. I get it. But you're a cop, man. Cops learn how to keep going in the face of fear. You going to run and hide, or are you going to step up and stop hiding like you've been doing your whole fucking life?"

He looked over at Aiden. "My whole life?"

"Yeah. It's time for you to start living, and to stop trying to do what you think your dad might like, or your mom might not like. Or what Diana might have wanted. Go out and live, Declan. I see that spark that's flickering right now. Don't fucking put it out. Just don't." He stood up. "You lost your chance with Diana. Don't lose your second opportunity. You're lucky to get a chance for love twice." Then he walked out of the office and yanked the door shut behind him.

Declan stared after his friend for a long moment, the words rattling around in his mind. Love her? Love Piper?

He wasn't ready to love her. Or anyone. He just wasn't.

Maybe he needed to get out of their deal. Call it off. Get out before he couldn't. Get out before he fell in love with her and wrecked everything for both of them.

End it ?

Fuck. That didn't feel good.

He didn't want to end it.

Which meant that he needed to.

Now.

His phone dinged, and he pulled it out. A text from Piper.

He stared at it for a long moment, then opened it.

I'm at dinner with a potential client, and the bride's mom is being super hostile about Clark. Any chance you can swing by and charm her?

He closed his fist around his phone.

He needed to text her that he was out.

That was the only option.

The best option.

He texted her back. I'm out. The moment he sent it, regret bit deep.

Hell. Was he running away? Was Aiden right? But she'd been shot. Twice. She was leaving town. She wasn't interested in a relationship. She was wrong for him in every way.

He needed to be out.

She texted back right away. Out? You're out somewhere? What does that mean? Is that a yes?

Declan laughed softly. Leave it to Piper to be so focused on her dream that she didn't even notice that he'd just broken it off. She was a bride protector, and she cared more than anyone he'd ever met. One of the many things he loved about her? —

Shit.

He did love her.

He'd loved her for a long, damned time. Probably since the day she'd rented his carriage house.

He took a moment to breathe it in, and he wasn't surprised how terrifying the thought was. But he was surprised that it also felt good. Alive. Real. He hadn't thought he'd love again. But he did. So, what was he going to do about it?

Declan?

He stared at her message. He couldn't keep going with her and agree to keep it distant. He'd never been built like that, and especially not now.

If he stayed in this sham relationship, it was with one purpose, to see if it could be real…which would break the promise he'd made to her.

He'd broken a lot of promises to Diana, because all he'd cared about was himself and what he wanted.

Maybe it was time to be a better man. To help Piper and not try to make it more. To respect what she needed and wanted from him in a way he'd never done with Diana. Of course, Diana had wanted a present, loving, communicative husband, and Piper wanted the opposite. Piper wanted the old Declan, and he didn't want to be that guy anymore.

Poetic justice, Diana would probably say.

He laughed softly. He got what he deserved: a chance to be about something other than himself. It kind of sucked, but it also felt weirdly good to become more. To give someone else what they needed because he could. Yeah, this was good. It felt right.

He was doing this, and he was doing it how Piper wanted. Text me the location, and I'll be there.

Yay! Thank you so much! You're the best!

Her joy made his decision right. He'd had no idea it could feel so good to make someone else happy, when there was nothing else in it for him, other than breaking his fucking heart again.

He was a cop.

He could handle pain.

He was born for it.