Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

W hat had just happened?

Piper stood in the doorway, listening to Declan stalk down the stairs to the living room.

Sudden anger boiled through her. After spending the night in his arms, she deserved more than to be walked out on. She wasn't that woman anymore who would accept that treatment and go hide in her room. She deserved more. "Declan!"

"What?"

"Wait a sec!"

He turned toward her as she ran down the stairs. "What?"

"That was so rude!"

His eyes narrowed. "Rude? I was rude ?"

"Yes." He was rude. She was mad. It was a perfect storm. "I told you that I was scared, and then you just turned around and walked away!"

He stared at her. "You told me that my mother was right about the shit I put her through being a cop. And you defended her treatment of my father. I've spent my whole life listening to that judgment, and I don't need to take it from you."

She blinked, startled by his response. "That's not what I said! "

"It's exactly what you said." He turned away and headed toward the couch, turning his back on her again.

"No, it's not, you big oaf! What I said, if you were listening, was that I almost died when my brothers got tangled up in some stupid deal with their drug dealer. They came to the house and took me hostage and I almost died! And I thought my brothers were going to die! And sitting there in my room, alone, wondering if you were going to die or if Dick was going to come after me, made me relive it all again! And you walked away like a complete jerk. You're my fiancé, and we just made love, and you don't get to do that to me."

He spun around to face her, shock on his face. "You literally didn't say that."

"In my head I did! And you just heard your little, whiny inner voice being blamed for being a cop! If you had taken one second to get over it, you should have heard all the subtext and at least asked me what was really going on! You should have realized it wasn't about the pancakes!"

He stared at her. "Pancakes?"

"Yes! One day my brother came into the house, and he lost his mind because we were having pancakes, and we hadn't told him. And then we later realized that he was in trouble with his drug dealer, and that's why he was so upset. But he couldn't tell us, so he freaked out about the pancakes. It wasn't about the pancakes! It never is, and you should know that. You're a cop!"

He continued to stare at her. "Your family is a bunch of drug dealers?"

"They were, and loan sharking and all sorts of other low-level crime stuff. That's not the point! Oh my God! You're such a man!" She spun around and stormed up the stairs.

"Piper."

She whirled to face him. "What?"

One hand was on the railing, and he'd taken a step toward her. He looked intense. "Why did you walk out on your fiancé?"

"Because he was an abusive douchebag who was cheating on me, and I didn't realize it until the last minute. Because I was so desperate to feel safe that I just let him sweep me up. But he's a terrible man with a lot of power, and he's very good at making people believe he's a good man." She put her hands on her hips. "There. Happy? You know all my terrible secrets. Piper the wedding planner has so much violence and poverty and crap in her past that she has no business running around in the elite circles trying to make dreams of happily ever after come true!"

She turned and sprinted up the stairs, so angry she could barely think. She stalked into her room, slammed the door shut, then dove onto the bed. She crawled under the covers and pulled them over her head.

The tears started to fall almost right away, but she ignored them.

Instead, she grabbed her phone and called her brother again.

He answered quickly this time. "Piper?"

"I just want you to know I left home because I couldn't live around a bunch of criminals anymore. I was scared that one day I would be killed because of the stuff you and the others were into. I left because as much as I hated that life, I knew I was too scared to leave you behind and I'd never have a different life unless I just cut all of you off, because I love you, and love is a trap!"

He swore. "Piper, I swear I'm so sorry. We're sorry. But what I didn't tell you earlier is that your leaving was a trigger for me. I knew why you left, and I walked away from that life the day you left. I own my own business now. It's a legit business. I have nothing to do with any of that life. And it's because of you. You were right to leave."

She was silent for a moment, stunned by his response. "Really? You…have a business?"

"Really."

"What about the others?"

He hesitated. "It's trickier with them."

She nodded. "Did you tell them I called?"

Again, a hesitation. "No. I didn't know what they'd do. "

"You mean, come after me?"

"Yeah. You have money, right?"

"I do." Dammit. Her brothers would still come after her for money. That told her a lot. But Roman was different. He always had been. "You should come visit sometime."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"I'd like that."

She could hear the smile in his voice, and something eased in her chest. "I'll text you my address."

"Great. Thanks for calling back."

She nodded. "You can call me, too."

"Will do." He paused. "Trip is here. I'm going to go."

"Right. Bye." Just as Roman was hanging up, she heard the sound of her youngest brother's voice. Trip. Her chest ached at the sound of his voice. He'd been fifteen when she'd left. What had he done? What had happened to him? Suddenly, she wanted to know.

But if Roman thought he shouldn't know that Piper had called, then Trip couldn't be in a very good place. She tossed the phone on her pillow and curled into a ball. Her chest hurt so much. A heavy ache.

The door opened, and she closed her eyes.

Angel jumped on the bed and poked her nose in Piper's ear. "Not right now, sweetie." Piper pulled the blankets over her head. "Just give me a second."

The bed shifted again, and she thought Angel had jumped off.

Then the covers flipped up, and Declan slid in behind her.

Piper stiffened as he nestled up behind her and wrapped his arm around her stomach.

"I'm asleep," she said.

"Liar." He pressed a kiss into her hair. "I'm sorry."

Her heart tightened. Damn him for apologizing unconditionally. It made it impossible for her to stay righteously indignant. "It's not your fault," she admitted grudgingly. "It was unrealistic for me to expect you to read my mind, at least this early in a relationship," she added. "A few months in, different story. But at this point? It was a little much."

He laughed softly. "I'm a cop. I should be better at subtext. I overreacted, and it messed with my instincts."

She looked down at his hand around her waist. "I was scared tonight," she said quietly. "I was scared for my own safety, and I was scared for yours. I didn't realize I would react that way. I was fine at the country club dealing with Dick, but it was different here. Tonight. Old trauma, I guess."

He pressed his face into her hair. "Fear makes people angry sometimes," he said. "I should have realized that. I'm an ass."

This time, it was her turn to laugh a little. "It was a little bit of an ass move to storm off downstairs after we'd made love," she admitted. "That's never going to go over well with a woman."

"Yeah, I know." He was quiet for a minute. "I wasn't the best husband. I was entirely focused on my career." He took a breath. "Diana told me she wanted a divorce the day before she died."

Piper closed her eyes. "Oh, wow."

"Yeah. I never told anyone until now, but the guilt?" He whistled softly. "Haunted me for years. Still does. Was she off her game because of the divorce? Was she distracted because of me? Did I get her killed because I wasn't the guy she deserved?"

Piper heard the guilt in his voice. It wasn't anguish, though. She could tell it was still there, but it was distant. He'd processed a lot. "That's a lot to carry."

"Yeah. I don't like that I walked out on you tonight. I don't want to be that guy anymore." He pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck. "Thanks for calling me out on it. I don't always realize. Patterns can be invisible sometimes."

She sighed. "It's impossible for me to still be mad at you right now."

He chuckled. "That was my goal, of course."

"It worked, but I'm not happy about it. "

"If it helps, your story about your drug-dealing family knocked me right off my self-righteous platform."

She grimaced. Crap. One night of mind-blowing, fake-fiancé sex and she was spilling secrets she'd protected for seven years? "Yeah, about that. I know that as a cop, it's probably an issue hanging out with a woman with a background like that, so it's cool if you want to call off our deal. I just ask that you don't tell anyone?—"

"It's not an issue."

She closed her eyes, her chest tightening. Dammit. She hated how happy she was that he didn't care. "You don't need to lie to me?—"

"It's not worth it to lie," he said. "I don't give a shit about your family's activities. When I was younger, I might have been spouting some high and mighty ethics, but life is so much more complicated than that. You're you, the woman you are right now, and I like her."

The tension that had been gripping Piper for so long, for all the years she'd been here, suddenly loosened its grip. She'd hidden her truth so carefully for so long, it suddenly felt like she could breathe, not having to hide it from him. "I've never told anyone except Maddie," she said. "I've been so sure that I'd lose everything I've worked for if people knew my past."

"Honestly, some of the clientele you serve would probably care, but I think you know by now I'm not like them."

"But you're a cop. And you're from this fancy world. So it would make sense that you would care about my family."

"Well, now you know I don't care."

Dammit. Why did that feel so good? Their relationship wasn't even real. Why did she care what he thought about her? She had to stay focused on the big goal, her career. She rolled over to face him. "You promise you won't tell anyone?"

Declan frowned. "Yes, but you don't need to be ashamed. People who know your value won't care."

"I'm not ashamed. I'm strategic. "

He raised his brows. "That's what you call it?"

"Yes." She lifted her chin. "I need to impress the ones who don't know my value, who would care. So, my past has to stay invisible. It's what makes sense."

He sighed. "It's bullshit to fake who you are to impress others. It's not a way to live."

She stiffened at his high and mighty world view. He was a man from money. He could never understand where she was coming from or how important it was what other people thought of her. "It's my way to the career I want. And I'm not faking who I am. I'm just keeping my irrelevant past on a need-to-know basis, and pretty much no one has a reason to know. Even you, but you got me mad enough that I told you, which puts you in the doghouse, to be honest."

He grinned unrepentantly. "You're interesting when you're mad at me. I learn all sorts of stuff about you. Like the can opener. Your family history." His smile faded. "Your ex."

Crap. She'd been hoping he'd forgotten about that. Didn't the man forget anything she wanted forgotten? His mind was like a freaking steel trap. "You can let that go, thanks."

"Don't think I can," he said. "I'm an alpha male, which means I get protective. You're my fiancée, and that makes me get itchy when I find out a guy has been abusive?—"

"I'm your fake fiancée, and it was one time, the day before our wedding." She cut him off. "Look, Declan. I don't want to be protected. I don't want to be obligated to you. I just wanted to get my career sorted out so I can move to New York and?—"

"New York?" He let out his breath. "Right. I forgot about that." He rolled onto his back and clasped his hands behind his head. "You're moving to New York."

"Well, not yet, but hopefully soon." She felt his withdrawal, and had to fight not to scoot across the bed toward him. "Declan, I appreciate your support. I do. But I don't need it, and I don't want it. I just—" She paused.

He turned his head to look at her. "You just what? "

"I just want to be free to live my life."

He narrowed his eyes. "How are you not free?"

"I don't know. I just felt…I mean…you got all protective of me. And I was feeling weird when I thought you were in danger. I just think…maybe we're too compatible to be fake engaged. I mean, what if I start to like you? The sex was great. Maybe it's too great."

Declan stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Are you falling for me?"

"What? No!" She snorted. "That's ridiculous. The last thing I want is a relationship. I've been engaged twice, and that's enough. I certainly don't want anything real with us."

"Twice?" His brows went up. "Who else?"

"A guy back home. I was running away from him when I left, as much as my family."

He stared at her. "So, you're a two-time runaway bride?"

"Three actually. I was unofficially engaged to Nathan Hold when I was seventeen, but then he got arrested for stealing a car and that was that. Didn't last long."

Declan started to laugh. "You're a three-time runaway bride?"

"It's not funny."

"It's a little funny."

She poked him in the chest "It's not at all funny."

"It is." He caught her finger. "You can't see that it's a little funny? And when we break up, it'll be the fourth time. That's practically all-star status."

"Oh, God. I didn't think of that." She grimaced. "Let's get married and then divorced. That might be better. I'm in the business of having weddings actually happen, not breaking off engagements." Crap. She hadn't thought that through.

The smile dropped off his face. "Married?"

Her heart started fluttering at the serious look on his face. "I was kidding. Clark showed me I'm never getting married. Don't look so scared."

"I'm not scared. I liked being married. Until I fucked it up."

The raw, vulnerable weight of their conversation seemed to close around her. This was so much more than a fake relationship kind of discussion. They shouldn't have had sex. It was impossible for her to remain emotionally distant after great sex. And apparently, he was having the same problem, which made for even more trouble.

Getting emotionally involved didn't serve her. It made her make stupid decisions and almost marry terrible, awful men. The part of her that didn't agree with being alone and single forever was trying to get all soft and mushy about Declan. That part of her loved how he was being vulnerable about his marriage, and protective about her. That part of her wasn't thinking strategically, and it wasn't keeping her own well-being in mind.

Declan sighed and brushed his hand through her hair. "You look terrified, Piper."

"I am."

"Why?"

"Because this whole thing between us—" She gestured back and forth. "—it wasn't supposed to be anything more than a fake engagement. We weren't supposed to have sex, or have conversations about anything that matters."

He caught her hand. "So, we became friends. That's okay."

"But we had sex. That's different than friends."

"Friends with benefits. There's actually a name for it."

How did she say it? How did she admit she was falling for him? She'd basically told him, and he still didn't get it. Probably because he was so far from falling for her that it didn't even cross his mind. Oh, God. Embarrassment flooded her. What was she doing? She was being an idiot. Doing the same thing she'd done three times before, and falling for a guy when she shouldn't.

This time, she wasn't going to make the mistake.

This time, she was going to realize it first.

She took a breath. "I'm not going to fall for you."

He raised his brows. "I'm very fall-able. It's nothing to be ashamed of. "

She glared at him to keep her snicker at bay. Stay focused, Piper . "Your ego is unmatched. It must be great to be you."

"It is when I'm lying here with you."

"Don't!" She hit his chest. "Just don't be like that. I'm not falling for you, but when you make adorable, sweet comments like that, then I want to, and I don't want to, so you can't be like that. You need to be the grumpy, distant landlord again."

He clasped his hands behind his head and regarded her thoughtfully. "Can't."

"Why?"

"Because we had sex. And we had dinner with my mom. Those two things make an indelible mark on a person. I see you as a human being, one that I like. Plus, you helped me save a woman. Again, bonding. And my dog likes you, which raises your likeability even higher."

She glared at him. "Why are you being like this?"

"Because—" He paused.

"Because what?"

"I don't want to fall for anyone either," he said, after a pause. "After Diana, I was done. I've been done for a long time. But you make me want to live again."

Oh, no, no, no, no. She was not taking responsibility for his well-being. "Because I'm great at sex," she said, trying to keep the conversation light.

He studied her much too intensely. "You are great at sex."

"Right. So are you. What a team." She was feeling so restless, so vulnerable, so on the verge of saying and feeling things she shouldn't. "Look, Declan, I'm just…I want us to not get emotionally involved. Can we do that?"

He pursed his lips. "You want us to keep having sex and being fake engaged, and friends, but not be emotionally involved?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"No emotional involvement?"

"Correct."

He studied her, and for a moment, she thought he was going to refuse. And if he did, she would have to cancel their deal, because she was already in over her head…and over her heart. She needed boundaries.

He finally raised his brows. "You realize that's the stereotypical dream of every man, right? Great sex with fake emotional commitment?"

She relaxed into laughter, relieved by his response. "I'm highly sought after by amoral jerks everywhere. It's really a glorious life I lead."

"I bet." He cocked his brow. "Lucky for you, I'm emotionally unavailable for life, but willing to keep my adorable, fake fiancée sated sexually."

She grinned. "You're such a good guy."

"Right?" He leaned over her and gave her a wicked smile. "How about I show you exactly how great of a guy I am?"

Desire coiled in her belly, a desire that was light and free, not weighed down with obligation, fear, or emotion. Just fun anticipation. "That sounds like a great idea?—"

He cut off her sentence with a kiss designed to set her on fire.

And it did.