22. Stella

Chapter Twenty-Two

STELLA

I stared up at Hudson, trying to gather my thoughts. Hudson had this discombobulating effect on me. It was like a wild, unexpected gust of wind blowing through me, scattering my thoughts and sending flames of heat flickering high.

I’d been trying to tell myself I needed to create some distance, to be practical. Most importantly, to remember why it wasn’t smart for me to get too involved with anyone.

I knew, all too well, just how susceptible I was to being like my mother. She wore her heart on her sleeve and thrust it out at any man who came by. She wanted stability. She wanted someone to love her and take care of her. Her neediness and desperation had been taken advantage of for years.

I craved stability, and I wanted a boring life—bills paid, a roof over my head, andnever to have to move again. Most certainly not to feel vulnerable and needy and to feel the threatening rise of the tide of wishing someone would love me. I’d built walls, tall and high, around my heart. Somehow, those walls had been breached by thewater of need rising higher and higher. It might spill over and the little girl who wanted love just might drown.

I cleared my throat. My intellect, that rational, logical part of my brain, tried to speak. That low, calm voice couldn’t be heard over the nearly overwhelming cacophony of my hormones.

I reached for Hudson’s hand just as Butter went dashing by, racing up the stairs into my apartment. Butter . This was all his fault.

Hudson’s lips quirked, bemused by Butter. My belly did a little swoop and my hormones spun like pinwheels.

Hudson’s palm was warm and dry as it curled around mine and his thumb stroked along the outer edge of my wrist. I could’ve melted right there on the spot. That tiny strip of skin felt as if it were on fire, like a match tossed in dry kindling.

“We’re breaking the rules,” he said as he took a step closer, his eyes never once breaking away from mine.

“I don’t care,” I whispered.

In that moment, I didn’t. I wanted Hudson. I wanted more of the pure escape he offered. More of the way I felt safe when I was with him. I wouldn’t pretend it was just the sense of safety. It was the sizzling chemistry, the way my guard fell with him, the way I could forget all of my reserve, all of my worries, the way I could let go of the sheer exhaustion of trying to never need anyone.

Falling asleep wrapped in his strong embrace created a sense of protection and belonging I had truly never experienced. If I thought about it, it terrified me. It was that intoxicating.

His eyes darkened as he bent low, pausing with his lips a whisper away from mine. “Good, because I want you.” I felt the shape of his last two words on my lips.

The next few moments felt like a dam broke inside of me, the water rushing through with such force it washed away any barriers left. Our kisses were a messy tangle of lips and tongues and our teeth clanking. At one point, we broke apart long enough to begin yanking at each other’s clothes. We stumbled up the stairs, barely making it to the top.

My shirt was somewhere halfway down the stairs in a rumple with the rest of my clothes. I savored the surface of his palms on my skin as he blazed a fiery trail of kisses down the side of my neck. I cried out when he sucked a nipple into his mouth, the sensation arrowing to the core of me as my pussy clenched.

“Hudson…” I gasped.

He lifted his head. I could feel the length of him against my low belly.

“Yeah?” His voice was ragged.

“I need you.”

We stumbled a little as he kissed me, one of his hands sliding down my back to cup my bottom and press against me. He spun us around to where we were against the waist-high wall encircling the stairs. He turned me to face it, saying, “Bend over.”

I obeyed without an ounce of hesitation. His palm smoothed down my back, his touch dallying over my bottom before he hooked his fingers over my panties and yanked them down. His knee nudged between my knees, pushing them apart slightly. I was so wet I could feel the moisture on the inside of my thighs. He dragged his fingers through the wetness, and I whimpered, arching my back slightly. I needed him inside of me. Now .

“Hudson, please?—”

He sank two fingers inside of me and I trembled, crying out when he withdrew his touch. I felt him blowing over my sex before he brought his mouth to me, his fingers filling me again and again.

He teased me with his tongue and fingers to a fierce, rushing climax. Trembling all over, I was barely able to stand as I clung to the edge of the wall. I heard the sound of the condom wrapper. Seconds later, I felt the press of his thick crown at my entrance, he filled me in one surge while I was still experiencing the echoes of my orgasm.

I clenched around him as he filled me deeply, savoring the intense stretch when he seated himself fully inside. One palm slid up my back, his fingers lacing into my curls as the other curled around my hip.

“Once more for me, sweetheart,” he rasped.

I arched back as he began to fuck me slowly from behind. It felt so dirty, the way he used my hair to bring me back each time he filled me. Curling over me, he slipped his hand around my hips to tease over my sex. I shivered at the feel of his teeth grazing my neck.

“Now,” he whispered as he nipped my earlobe.

My climax ricocheted through me, the pleasure so intense I was trembling, my hands flexing where they curled over the edge of the wall. He pumped slow and deep once more before he went taut and shuddered with my name on his lips.

I held still with Hudson curled around behind me, trying to catch my breath, trying to come back from the pleasure. Somehow, I managed to stay standing as he withdrew. We stumbled into my bedroom and he pulled me into the shower after he tossed his condom in the trashcan.

He carried me to bed, and we fell asleep together again with Butter curled up at our feet. I woke during the night, feeling safe and secure with one of his arms banded around my waist where I was curled against his side like a little barnacle. I told myself I wasn’t falling for him, not yet. But even then, in the darkness in my sleepy thoughts, I knew I was lying to myself.