8. Chapter 8

"I think it's best if I go and stay at my parents' tonight." I hear my brother tell Jeyla and she sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. As much as I would love to have some time alone with Jeyla without having to worry about my brother's presence in the house, my parents don't know about my return and honestly, I don't think I'm ready to face them yet.

"Oskie, you don't have to do that. This is your home."

"I feel like I'm in the way here, Jey."

"You're not," I answer as I stroll into the kitchen. They both look over at me. My eyes lock with my brother's, but I can feel Jeyla's gaze burning through me. "Jeyla's right, this is just as much your home now, bro. Don't feel like you need to leave on my account." My eyes shift to look at Jeyla and she just stares back at me chewing on her lower lip.

Are you afraid of being left alone with me, baby girl? Are you worried we'll fall into old habits, and we won't be able to control ourselves? Because all I want right now is to dive right in and bite, suck, and nibble on that lower lip of yours.

The tension sizzles in the air while we look at each other and I can sense a fight brewing between us and a big one at that—fuck, I can practically taste it lingering in the air around us and my skin prickles with anticipation. It's been a very long time since JJ and I had one of our fights, in fact we are long overdue one. And I know she's craving it just as much as I am.

"Nah, it's not that," Oz voices and I already know it's a baldfaced lie. "Just thought the two of you would like some space. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about."

"Yes, we do indeed have a lot to talk about." I answer as I walk over to the dining table and take a seat with a sigh. "However, maybe you will have better luck convincing her that the best place for her and DJ right now is in a secure safehouse, because she's not listening to me."

"Dean, for god's sake, I'm not being carted off to some unknown location with a baby while you go off to get yourself killed."

"See," I respond, gesturing in her direction with my arm and shake my head. My brother turns his gaze to look at me sharply, his dark brows fusing.

"Hold on, what ?" Oz utters, his gaze shifting between Jeyla and me. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Jeyla crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me. "Go on," she says through clenched teeth. "Please, enlighten your brother about this absurd plan of yours. The one where you willingly offer yourself to the maniac that wants to kill you just to protect me." Jeyla asserts frostily, her gaze never wavering from mine as she speaks. "Apparently, I haven't suffered enough, so your brother wants to put me through the hell of losing him all over again."

"Christ, JJ." My voice is laced with frustration as I sit forward, placing my forearms on my knees and meet her intense glare head-on, determined to make her understand the gravity of the situation. "This is necessary for yours and DJ's protection," I explain, my words laced with urgency. "If there was any other solution, don't you think I would have taken it instead of wasting an entire year of my life running from him. I missed my son's birth. My sister's wedding. I sacrificed everything I love to keep all of you safe. You have no idea how ruthless the man I am up against truly is. Viktor Lukin will stop at nothing to avenge his brother's death and will destroy anyone who stands in his way." A heavy silence hung in the air, suffocating us both with its weight. Jeyla's expression softened slightly, but I could still see the worry and pain she was trying to hide behind her gaze.

"I've seen first-hand the horrors he can inflict," I continue, my voice barely above a whisper now as I recall the gruesome things I have seen him do to people that betrayed him while I was under cover. "And if I don't come forward, he will kill every single one of you and make me watch while he does so. And that's not a risk I'm willing to take, which is why I need you to listen to me and let me get you someplace safe." The thought makes bile rise in my throat, but it's the cold hard truth. Viktor Lukin is a monster, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep my loved ones safe from him. I mean, I've seen him peel the flesh off someone's bones while they were still conscious simply because he missed making his payment by an hour. So, you can imagine the kind of punishment he will impose on me for killing his beloved little brother—the only family member he had left.

Jeyla's eyes squeeze shut, her body trembling with fear. "What the fuck, Dean?" my brother growls as he paces back and forth, his fists clenched in rage. "Jeyla's right. You can't just surrender. There has to be another way. The Navy should be taking every action to protect you, not cowering away and leaving you to sacrifice yourself. We're talking about one man against one of the most powerful armed forces in the world for fuck's sake and you're telling me that they can't take him down? It's bullshit." Oz's voice drips with anger. "You risked your life to serve your country. What happened to their promise and commitment of never leaving a comrade behind? Because from where I'm standing, they seem to be sitting on their fucking thumbs when they should be taking action."

"I assure you, Oz, they are doing everything in their power, but we're not up against just one man . If it were that easy it wouldn't have ever come to this. It's a powerful and sprawling organization with tentacles reaching all over the world. Viktor Lukin has amassed numerous allies and political puppets with a lot of influence who will stop at nothing to protect him. His illegal bioweapons empire alone generates billions, flowing through his grasp like a river of tainted money. It's astonishing how deeply entrenched corruption runs within the system, but the Navy is focused on the bigger picture; protecting billions of innocent lives. In comparison, my own life, and the lives of every officer dedicated to serving our country, are expendable."

A dense, palpable silence lingers between us, coating the air like a heavy blanket and drowning out any outside sounds. My gaze remains fixed on Jeyla, who has her eyes cast down, staring at the intricate pattern of the tiled floor, lost in her own thoughts, silent tears roll down her pale cheeks. The stillness becomes almost suffocating, pressing down on my chest and stealing away any remaining traces of oxygen. It's as if the weight of our unspoken words has manifested into a physical force, trapping us all in this moment.

"JJ." With my heart hanging heavy in my chest, I push myself up to my feet and shuffle over to Jeyla. She doesn't look up at me, keeping her eyes cast down as the stream of tears now flow faster. Each tear seems to pierce right through my heart. Reaching out, I gently tuck my fingers under her chin and tip her head up. Her green eyes tightly shut, and she shakes her head.

"I can't," she whispers, voice trembling as more tears escape past her long lashes. "You may be expendable to them, but you're not to me, Dean. If you're so hell bent on running off to get yourself killed, why did you even bother coming back." Her words are firm and full of conviction before she turns and walks out of the kitchen, leaving me rooted to my spot watching after her, my chest constricting with every step she takes.

My brother stands in the kitchen, his back pressed against the cool counter as he looks at me with a mix of concern and frustration. He shrugs nonchalantly, lifting his arms and crossing them over his chest. "She has a point," Oz voices, his tone heavy with disappointment. I close my eyes and sigh heavily, tipping my head back.

"If you truly had Jeyla's best interests and safety at heart, you would have stayed away, spared her and all of us the pain of losing you a second time," he continues, his voice filled with emotion. "It would have made more sense than showing up at her door after everything she's been through, filling her heart with false hope only to devastate her all over again." His words hit me like a punch to the gut, making me feel sick with regret. "Because let me tell you, she barely made it through the first time, she won't survive a second time, Dean, and neither will mum."

Sighing, I close my eyes and tip my head back, my frustration mounting more with every passing second. "Fucking hell, you think I was sitting on a beach, living my best life this whole time? You think I enjoyed having my entire life stripped away from me to play dead? It was hell for me too, Oz. Nothing about the circumstances I'm facing makes any sense, nor is it fair—especially to Jeyla—I'm fully aware of that. But I had no choice. The moment I saw those pictures of Jeyla and the threats to her life I couldn't sit back and hide anymore. I couldn't fucking think. So, I came out of hiding to ensure arrangements were made for Jeyla and DJ to be taken someplace secure and off the grid until this mess was dealt with. I don't care what happens to me as long as they're safe."

"You might not care, but Jeyla does. We all care, Dean." Oz throws back at me, his brows drawing together. "Just remember how you felt for that short period when you thought Jeyla had died when she got hit by that car. Now imagine feeling and living with that pain day in, day out. You weren't there to see the devastation, listen to her screams, to see her slipping away into a darkness none of us could pull her back from."

"Oz, I know?—"

"No, you don't fucking know!" My brother snaps, standing tall and looming over me. "I had to pry her off the fucking floor!" He retorts as he strides towards me. The fury in his words matches the rage in his eyes. "I can still hear her cries of despair and the way she was screaming for you every single night." The lump in my throat tightens as tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "Jeyla was beyond devastated, Dean. She was so broken over losing you that she wanted to die just to be with you. Thank God she was pregnant with DJ and he became the anchor she needed, because not even we could have saved her otherwise." My brother's chest rises and falls angrily while he glares at me. "And you want to put her through all that hell all over again with the added burden that you're going off to die to protect her ?"

"What am I supposed to do, Oz?!" I bark back in response. "Fucking tell me? What would you have done if you were in my position? Because whatever option I choose that doesn't end with me six feet under puts someone I love in grave danger. In an ideal world I would be home with my wife and baby, and we would be living the happy life I promised her. Instead, I spent a year of my life running, trying to survive with the hopes that one day I might be able to come back home to her. Leaving Jeyla wasn't a walk in the park for me either, nor was the thought of her moving on with you and forgetting all about me when every breath I took, every bit of fight I had left in me was solely for her!" Oz blanches at my statement and I literally see the colour drain away from his face.

"Wh—"

"Don't bother trying to deny it. I may have been off the grid, but I was still getting updates from the security team that was assigned to watch over her. Imagine my devastation when I'm given a stack of photos of my big brother, who I entrusted to watch out for my wife, holding and kissing her." I utter with a shake of my head as I take a step toward him. "Yeah, while you and Jeyla were playing happy families and kissing on beaches I was running to survive with a fucking target on my back."

Oz's eyes briefly close and he swallows heavily before meeting my gaze with a look of remorse. "There is nothing going on between Jeyla and me," he claims, which only adds to my annoyance.

"Oh really?" I carp, narrowing my eyes. "Because those photos of you kissing and the guilt in both your eyes when you're in the same room tells a different fucking story. I suppose me coming back from the dead inconveniences you most of all huh, big bro? After all, you've waited almost two decades for a chance with her. It's a shame it took for me to die for you to finally find your balls and make a move."

"Dean…" my brother hisses through clenched teeth and affixes me with a stern glare. "Don't be a fucking prick. It wasn't like that."

"You know what, Oz…" I retort sarcastically, feeling the bitterness rise in my throat. "Spare me the fucking details." My anger is like a hot pretzel twisting in my gut, threatening to spill over and consume me. I turn to leave before I do something regrettable, but Oz ignores every angry cue my body is sending and steps forward, blocking my path.

"Listen to me," Oz speaks lowly. "There is nothing going on between Jeyla and me, I swear to you. Yes, there may have been an opportunity for something to happen, but deep down we both knew that pursuing it would not only be wrong, but a betrayal to your memory." He pauses, his hand reaching out to gently touch my shoulder. "What you saw in that photo, were two people who care for one another closing the door to any possibility of a relationship. That kiss was merely a final farewell to the future we never got a chance to have. It wasn't anything romantic, it was closure."

My anger simmers beneath the surface as I struggle to process his words. Slowly, I release the breath I've been holding, and my tense shoulders relax. The weight of my suspicions and doubts begins to lift, replaced by a sense of understanding and acceptance. "I don't think Jeyla is capable of ever loving anyone the way she loves you, Dean."

My heart should rejoice, but instead it pinches painfully in my chest. "I used to believe that and honestly it's what kept me going," I admit, taking a step back from him and rub the back of my head. "But you're right, Oz, I don't deserve her, I never have. All I've ever done is wreck her and break every promise I have ever made her. I promised her a happy life and look at us. If Jeyla and I are truly meant to be together, it wouldn't be this hard, right? We would be happy together. Our lives wouldn't be such a mess." Oz watches me pace back and forth, his face unreadable. "Maybe this is the universe's way of screaming at me to let her go," I continue, my words tumbling out in an anxious rush. "And I've been ignoring it because I'm a selfish prick. Fuck, I've always been selfish when it comes to her. But not you, Oz. You've always put her happiness first, before everything else. That's the kind of man she deserves. Someone who will love her selflessly?—"

"Dean, stop." My brother steps forward and takes hold of my shoulders, bringing me to a halt mid-pace. His eyes are soft and full of compassion as he looks at me. "Jeyla doesn't want me. Her heart is so completely consumed by love for you that there has never been any room for anyone else."

I shake my head in disbelief. "That's bullshit, Oz. I've seen the way she looks at you, that's not nothing. There has always been something between the two of you. What if..." Suddenly, a thought strikes me like a bolt of lightning. "Shit, what if you were the one she was meant to be with all along and I just got in the way?" I lift my eyes to meet his, pleading for some kind of answer.

"That's not possible, Dean, look at everything the two of you have overcome over the years. If Jeyla and I were meant to be together we would have somehow found a way to each other, but we haven't. I'm not saying Jeyla doesn't care about me or that she doesn't have some sort of affection toward me. But whatever it is she feels, isn't nearly as profound as what she feels for you and given the choice between you and me, she would always choose you . Do you understand?"

"Why do you do that? It's clear you're so fucking in love with her, yet you keep pushing us together. Why are you so afraid to fight for her, Oz?"

There's a brief moment where my brother drops the mask veiling his true feelings and I see clear as day the love he holds in his heart for Jeyla. "I'm not afraid to fight for her, Dean. If Jeyla ever gave me a reason to fight, I would have. All it would have taken is for her to look at me just once the way she looks at you and that would have been all the reason I needed, but she hasn't. And I know that if we ever did get a chance to be together, she would be settling, and I don't want to be someone's second choice, definitely not hers." He asserts calmly and pins me with a pointed look. "I want her to love me enough to want to die than live on without me."

I struggle to swallow against the aridity of my throat, my body trembling under the weight of my next words as I force a nod in understanding, unable to meet the eyes of my brother. "Yeah, well," my voice croaks as I force the words out, "it's looking like you might get your chance soon enough," I murmur, "because I don't think I'm going to make it out of this mess, Oz."

His face falls into a worried frown, "Dean?—"

"No," I interrupt firmly. "I'm serious." With a heavy sigh, I walk over to lean against the counter, needing the support as I brace myself for the words I need to say next. "I need you to listen to me because there is no way I can say these words directly to her." Oz frowns, but nods mutely allowing me to continue. "If anything happens to me," I continue, trying to keep my voice steady despite the tears that threaten to break loose at any moment, "I want you to know that should an opportunity come where you and Jeyla can be together... you don't have to feel guilty or be burdened with the thoughts that you're somehow betraying me." My brother shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak but I hold up my hand to silence him while biting back the tears. "The idea of her loving anyone else enrages me, but if there is anyone that I trust who will love her as much as I do, protect her with his life and make it his life's mission to make her happy it's you, alright. Just… make sure I'm dead and buried before you make a move or I will rip out your throat and shove it up your arse." A tear rolls down my cheek and I brush it away. "Promise me that you will take care of her and DJ always."

My brother's eyes glisten with unshed tears as he nods. "Of course I will, always."

"Good," I sniff and clear my throat. Oz and I share a meaningful look before he strides over to me and pulls me in for a tight hug.

"And you promise me," he murmurs against my shoulder, "that you will fight like hell to come back, alright?" I nod, closing my eyes tightly and holding onto him for support. Knowing what is at stake and what I have waiting for me at home, I have no other choice.

We pull apart and I nod, drying my eyes with the back of my hand and wander over to the window that overlooks the back garden. "I need to get her and DJ out of here and someplace safe as soon as possible and I need you to go with them. Jeyla will never go if she's alone, at least if you're with her I know she'll feel more at ease." I voice, staring out of the window into the darkness. "Arrangements have been made for mum, dad and Ash to be taken to a safe location as well. I'll go tomorrow and speak to them." With a deep breath, I turn away from the window and face my brother again. "I can focus on doing my job if I know you're all safe."

If I'm going to fight for a future with Jeyla and our son, I need to go in there with a clear head and not spend every waking moment wondering if their lives are in danger.

Not that I have high hopes of making it out of this shit show, but hey, a man can dream, right?