9. Chapter 9

"If an officer in the military fakes their death and comes back after a year. Is the marriage to his spouse still valid…" I mumble as I type the question into the google search bar and tap the search button. Gnawing away at my lower lip I stare at my phone's screen while I wait for the results to come up.

The legal status of a marriage when one spouse fakes their death and then returns can be complex and may depend on the specific circumstances and the laws of the jurisdiction involved. Generally, the marriage might still be considered legally valid, but several factors could influence this.

"Oh, well, that's very fucking informative. Thank you very much, Google." I gripe irritably, tossing my phone on the bed I stand and start pacing restlessly back and forth. I'm going to lose my damn mind. It's a stupid thing to be focusing on in this moment of time, but I can't help but wonder if our marriage is still valid if Dean Reyes is technically and legally considered dead. We had to go and register his death for fuck's sake.

With an anxious sigh, I push my fingers through my hair and fist the roots as I groan in frustration. This isn't my life. It can't fucking be, because this is the sort of shit that happens in movies and novels… not in real life.

While I'm amid a nervous breakdown, the door creaks open behind me and I turn to see Dean walk into the bedroom and close the door behind him before he leans against it. One part of me wants to throw everything I can get my hands on at him for putting me through such hell and the other is aching to walk over there grab his stupid head and kiss him.

"You know, I spent many nights alone in this room, in our bed, dreaming about you returning home, just for a day or even a measly hour. Now you're here, I never imagined that it would be like… this ." I admit, gesturing between us. Dean pushes himself off the door and slowly walks over to me.

"Why don't you tell me how you imagined it would be?" he questions, every stride he takes toward me dwindles the space between us. "If all we had together was tonight, how would you want to spend it, JJ?"

Shaking my head I keep my eyes affixed on him as he slowly inches closer to me. His emerald, green eyes drop to my lips, his breath hitching slightly. "Because I know exactly how I would," Dean murmurs, his fingers reaching up to delicately tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. A jolt of electricity shoots through me at the light touch of his fingertips against my skin, and my heart begins to flutter erratically in my chest. "I would spend every second I have with you, committing every detail of your beautiful face to my memory," he declares while lightly trailing the back of his hand across my cheek. "I would soak up every breath you take and every sound you make." My eyelids flutter closed, and a shaky exhale escapes my parted lips as I feel the warmth of his breath against my face. "I would etch your taste into my mind, so I never forget how good you taste."

My resolve starts to falter. I'm still angry with him, but his words and touch are melting me like butter on a hot pan. My feet retreat backward, desperate to put some space between us because I'm getting a bad case of the sex fog, and I can't even remember why I'm pissed at him. "Not that I could ever forget." Dean mutters, his voice dipping lower and becoming raspier the more turned on he gets.

"Dean," I place my hands on his bare chest to keep him at bay, but he lifts his right arm and places his hand at my hip as he steps closer until my body is flush against him. A familiar heat starts to coarse through my body and consume me at rapid speed. "I kissed your brother," I suddenly blurt out in a panic. Wow, what a moment to confess Jeyla, you absolute idiot. Shit, why did I just do that? The words just fall out of my mouth like a bad case of verbal diarrhoea. I regret it the moment it left my mouth, but I couldn't hold it in much longer. Dean stills for a moment and his eyes lift from my mouth back up to my eyes. To my surprise, Dean is calm and composed, not at all enraged as I expected him to be.

"I know." I retreat, and he advances another step. Wait? What does he mean he knows ? How the hell does he know ?

"Y-you know?" My words come out as a stammer and Dean simply nods while advancing toward me until the back of my legs hit the mattress on the bed. Oscar must have told him. "Oscar told you," I state and he responds with another silent nod. "And? You don't have anything to say on the matter? How are you so calm?"

"I have plenty to say, but right now, JJ, I want you to shut up." Dean says as he hooks his fingers into the waist band of my shorts and languidly peels them down my hips. "We're going to put a pin in that conversation and revisit later, because right now, I don't want to think about you and my brother swapping spit, much less talk about it. In fact, I'm going to spread you out on top of that bed and spend the night erasing it from your mind entirely because you seem to have forgotten who you belong to."

"Dea—" The words don't even make it out of my mouth before Dean hooks his hands at the back of my thighs and performs some swift technique where he lifts me with absolutely zero effort, and I fall backwards in a heap on top of the bed with a surprised gasp. Dean towers over me, shirtless, wearing only low-riding tracksuit bottoms that accentuate his narrow hips and defined Adonis belt. My thoughts scatter as I try to form a rational thought in the presence of his exquisite body.

I never forgot for a second how incredibly exquisite his body was and the affects it had on me. Now a year later, I'm not sure how it's possible, but he looks even better; leaner, every muscle protruding with ropes of thick veins down his arms, and those shoulders… God help me, I want to bite down on them while he's pounding into me.

"Like what you see, baby girl?" Dean drawls with an expressive smirk one I've missed and longed to see every day for an entire year. He's clearly taking great pleasure in my open admiration, catching me gawking at him as though he's a delicious, six-foot, rich and decadent bar of hazelnut chocolate that I'm eager to dive right in and devour.

"I think you already know the answer to that, Lieutenant," I reply, cocking my head to the side and raising a brow. Dean's smirk turns sinful as he licks his lips, his front teeth sinking into his lower lip while he stares avidly into my eyes.

"Fuck, I've really missed hearing you call me that," Dean admits with a groan, his hands skimming over the outside of my bear thighs, and they tremble under his touch. "But I'm no longer a Lieutenant. I'm a Squadron Leader now, so technically it's Captain ."

I can feel my face twisting in displeasure. Captain? Huh, I wonder when he got promoted. Was it before or after they faked his death? Obviously, I want to be happy that he's making his way up in the ranks, but after everything I've been through the past year I can't even muster up a speck of joy for him right now. I'm still feeling so overwhelmed and angry. "Well, Captain …" I utter, lifting my leg and pressing my foot against his chest when he moves to lean over me. "I know you don't think I'm just going to roll over and have sex with you."

Dean curls his fingers around my ankle, lifts my foot to his lips and presses a kiss to the top while keeping his gaze locked on mine. "Come on baby, it's us. Of course I don't. I know you well enough to expect some form of resistance, possibly a fight, before we get to that part."

I shoot him a scathing look from my place on the bed, acutely aware of my nakedness from the waist down. "This isn't a joke, Dean," I huff, attempting to retrieve my leg from his grip. But he holds on tight, keeping my foot in place. "Don't you think we have more pressing issues than sex right now?" I reason, my frustration mounting.

"Those issues will still be there tomorrow, JJ," Dean counters calmly, gesturing towards the bedroom door. "But tonight, we're leaving them behind that door." It's then that I notice the exhaustion etched into his features and his words strike a chord within me. I've become all too familiar with the weight of burdens and the need for a temporary escape. "Because I've been drowning in problems for the past year," he continues, "I need a breather, JJ. And the only place I know I can breathe easy is with you." My defences crumble at his vulnerability. While I look up at him, I remember all the pain I suffered after I lost him, and I find myself nodding in agreement. I've spent so long fixating on my own suffering that I've not even acknowledged how much he has suffered and sacrificed for me .

It honestly feels like the weight of the world has been pressing down on me, and I'm desperate for a moment of respite to finally breathe. And the only place I can do that is with him, too. The unknowns of tomorrow loom over us like a dark cloud, but for now, I push them aside and allow myself this night with him. Even if it's all we'll have, I'll cling tightly to these fleeting moments.

"Can we forget everything else outside that door and be us for a little while?" he questions, lifting his hand to caress my cheek. I turn my face into his touch and keep my eyes on his while I nod.

"Take me to the stars, Captain." I whisper and wrinkle my nose when it doesn't quite sit right. Dean's face twists as well and he shakes his head, clearly sharing my thoughts. "I don't think I like your new title. It doesn't feel…"

Dean smiles and shakes his head. "I know, try again."

"Take me to the stars, Lieutenant ." Dean's chest rises and falls when he draws in a deep breath and when I press a kiss to the inside of his wrist, I feel his pulse quicken under my lips. Dean's fingers curl at the nape of my neck and he pulls me up, so I'm on my knees and his mouth comes crashing down on mine.

As our lips remain locked in a passionate embrace, Dean's hands begin to roam over my body. They find the hem of my top and slowly peel it up over my breasts, breaking the kiss for just a moment to discard it before returning to mine with renewed fervour. The slow, yet intense nature of our kiss only ignites the fire within me, each languid stroke of his tongue eliciting a deep moan of pleasure from my lips. There's something about Dean that sets my body aflame, like an inexplicable, intoxicating chemical reaction whenever we're together.

My own hands wander down from his strapping chest, tracing every line and bulge of muscle until they reach the waistband of his tracksuit bottoms. With deliberate slowness, I tug them down until they pool at his ankles, and he kicks them off entirely.

Dean's arms, firm and unyielding, wrap tightly around me like a steel cage. He presses his lips hungrily against mine, pulling me into his embrace as he crawls onto the bed with a primal grace. My body trembles under the weight of him as he settles on top of me, every inch of our skin touching in a heated embrace. Our kisses are desperate but passionate, our need for each other driving us to new heights.

As our breaths become ragged and urgent, we reluctantly break away from the kiss. But our lips remain connected, still touching as we gasp for air. Dean's desire is evident as he grinds his rock-hard length against me. I arch my back, seeking more contact and eliciting a deep groan from Dean that only fuels my own desire.

"Are you still mine, JJ?" Dean whispers, his voice laced with desire as he grinds his rock-hard length against me. The delicious friction of his erection gliding over my engorged clit sends a shockwave of pleasure pulsing through my body.

"I could never be anyone else's." I respond breathlessly, lifting my hips to meet him in an instinctive rhythm. My fingers thread through his hair as I pull him closer, wanting more of him. A deep guttural groan erupts from Dean at my proclamation, his carnal desire evident in the way he presses himself against me even harder. "My heart, my soul and my entire being will always be yours, Lieutenant."

"And mine yours, baby girl," Dean affirms with a deep sincerity that resonates through both of us before his lips claim mine once again in a searing kiss. Our passion ignites like wildfire, quickly consuming us both as we become lost in each other.

Dean's mouth travels down my neck, kisses a path down to my breasts, stopping to tease and suck my nipples. My fingers tighten in his hair, and I arch up into him with a quiet moan. Everything feels so familiar, his touch, his kiss, the sounds he makes; it's like no time has passed at all. He's still as intoxicating as ever.

As my eyelids slowly open, I watch him with a mixture of longing and disquiet as Dean's lips move down my stomach, pausing at the spot where a faint pink scar rests just above my bikini line—a reminder of the emergency c-section that brought our son into this world. Just to the left of it lies another scar, from the surgery I had after I had been struck by that car. My once flawless body is now marred by these marks, each one a visible testimony to the struggles and sacrifices made in the name of our love. They are my battle scars, reminders of how close I came to losing everything for the person lying on top of me.

As Dean's fingers trail along each scar, I feel a warmth spread through my body. His touch is gentle, careful, as if he's afraid to hurt me. I run my fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands against my fingertips while he looks up at me, his gaze brimming with a concoction of gratitude, a hint of sorrow and longing. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Tears spring to my eyes when it hits me that neither of us were there to witness our only child coming into the world. "I know," is about all I can manage in that moment. I didn't want to relive the horrors of my pregnancy or how close I came to losing DJ as well.

Leaning up, I cup his face and pull him up, kissing him deeply. Dean groans, as he crawls over me, his knee pushing my thighs apart as he settles himself between my legs. God, we fit so perfectly together, it's maddening. "Honey, you know damn well I don't skip courses." Dean murmurs against my lips. "I'm fucking starving for a taste of you, so be a good girl, spread your legs and let Daddy eat," Biting my lip I watch as he lifts my legs into the air, pushes them apart and scoops my arse off the bed as he dives right in. My legs rest on his muscular shoulders and there is no way of containing my moan when his tongue glides through my already soaked cleft and flicks my clit.

"Ohn, f-fuck." My fingers curl into the bed covers and my thighs tremble every time his tongue skims or circles over my clit. "Dean…" I whimper, pressing the back of my other hand to my mouth to smother my cries of pleasure.

It's been too long since I've been touched so everything feels like it's heightened. Dean pulls my hand away from my mouth with a growl as he continues to suck on my clit. "Tsk, tsk, baby girl," Dean tuts, "You know better, you don't stifle your moans with me, let me fucking hear you."

God, I want to, I want to scream. My body is on fire, craving release, but the thought of Oscar overhearing us holds me back. The guilt gnaws at the back of my mind, stifling my cries of pleasure until Dean feeds two fingers into me, and stimulates my g-spot while his tongue works his magic on my clit, and I feel the last of my control slip through my fingers.

The sneaky bastard still knows just how to manipulate my body to his whim, his skilled fingers and tongue tracing every sensitive spot. It doesn't take long until I feel that familiar sensation building up in my groin, a slow burn that starts at the base of my spine and spreads throughout my body like wildfire. I can't help but cry out as Dean's mouth works its magic, his hair fisted tightly in my hands as I grind my hips against him. "Oh God, yes!" I moan, pleasure coursing through me like electricity. "Uhhh, yes, Dean, I'm coming." And with one final thrust of his fingers and a flick of his tongue, I come undone. I hit the peak of my orgasm.

My entire body stiffens and for a moment, I forget to breathe as waves of intense pleasure crash over me and I explode around him, chanting his name like a damn mantra.

Dean hums in delight while he drinks up my arousal, and I go limp in his arms, savouring the aftereffects of my climax. Shit, I forgot how damn good it feels to surrender to pleasure and how much I've missed having sex. Especially with him.

My body hasn't even fully recovered before he releases his grip on my hips and with my legs—which are still shaking—draped over his shoulders he leans over and presses his forehead to mine. "Fuck baby," Dean pants, his voice raw with desire. "One lifetime isn't enough to fully appreciate the taste of your divine cunt." He whispers as he peppers kisses along my lips before plunging his tongue into my mouth, and I eagerly suck on it, tasting myself on him. A low moan escapes from deep within him and I can't help but let out a satisfied sigh in response.

"How about you shut up and fuck me, Lieutenant."

Dean's lips curl into a slowly grin against mine as he presses himself at my entrance. "Still an impatient, cock hungry little slut, aren't you, baby girl?" he murmurs, nipping at my bottom lip as he slides just the tip in and draws back out, and I gasp. "Why don't you show Daddy how desperate you are to be filled with his cock?"

Don't need to ask me twice. My hips buck up and Dean groans when his cock slides in about a quarter of the way. "Fuck."

Holy shit.

It stings like a bitch.

My breath hitches when Dean pushes himself all the way in. My walls contract and stretch to accommodate his length. After all, it has been well over a year since anything has been up there. "Fucking Christ baby, I forgot how tight you are." Dean's voice is strained and laced with need as he speaks. We gaze at one another, and I can see he's fighting to keep his control. I suppose it has been just as long and frustrating for him as it has been for me.

My legs slide off his shoulders, feeling the strength and tension of his muscles as they coil around his waist as Dean lowers himself down to his elbows, positioning himself above me with intent. Our lips fuse together in a passionate and urgent kiss, while he begins to thrust into me, our bodies moving in perfect synchrony. Every movement creates a heat and friction between us that's both electrifying and intoxicating.

With every burning kiss and forceful thrust, Dean reminds me of the intoxicating hold he has over me. The intensity between us is toxic, yet I find myself unable to resist him. He is like a magnet that pulls at my very soul, leaving me unable to escape his grasp. It's as if my entire being craves him and him alone, and I am powerless to fight it.

The scent of sex lingers in the air, our moans and breaths of pleasure along with the sounds of the bed creaking under us, fill the room. "Fuck, JJ." Dean pants, lifting my right leg to his hip and grinding his cock into my g-spot again and again until I'm coming all over his cock.

"Oh my God," I whimper, "Oh my God, Dean, I'm going to come… ah, fuck, fuck, I'm going to come."

"I know you are; your tight little pussy is choking my cock," Dean rasps between thrusts as he gathers both my legs and pushes them to my chest, driving his hips upward in short but hard thrusts, stimulating my g-spot and driving me fucking crazy. The pleasure is almost too much to bear as I soar toward the pinnacle of my orgasm. "That's it baby girl, come all over Daddy's cock." Dean's eyes roll back and bites down on his lip as I start to unravel under him. My walls pulse and clench around his cock while I helplessly cry out his name. The orgasm burns through me, my legs shaking with each wave as Dean slows his pace and fucks me through it. The wave of my climax sets off his and with a guttural groan and a cry of my name he empties himself inside me. "Ohh, fuck, yes, yes, ahh Jeyla!"

There are many, many things I love about Dean, but the way he moans and talks filth during sex sits high on my list. There is nothing sexier than a man who is vocal during sex and isn't shy about letting you know that he's loving every second of being inside you. Even in the moments where he has no control and has surrendered completely to his pleasure, he looks un-fucking-real. The unbridled passion in his voice mirrors the intensity of our connection, creating a very erotic soundtrack to our lovemaking that I never want to end.

Panting, Dean lowers himself on top of me and we kiss languorously, while our heart rates slow and our breathing returns to normal. My fingers rake up and down his muscular back, and he smiles against my lips. "What?" I ask, peering up at him.

"Nothing. I just…" Dean expresses while brushing his nose over mine lightly. "I love how easy it is to fall back into old habits with you."

"Bad habits, you mean." I correct, raising a brow. "You're one bad habit I can never seem to quit, Lieutenant." Dean smiles, lifts his hands and brushes my hair back while gazing down at me affectionately. "It doesn't matter how hard I try or how much you hurt me I somehow wind up right back here."

"Because it's where you belong, JJ." My eyes close when he presses a soft kiss to my cheek. "It's where you've always belonged. In my life…" he kisses my other cheek, "in my heart…" he kisses the tip of my nose, "in my arms…" he kisses my lips, "in my bed. You can try all you want and so can I, but we won't fit anywhere else but with each other, because you and I were made for one another."

I used to truly believe that and a big part of me wants to believe it's still true, but then reality sets in and there is no denying the challenges we have faced together. It's been a rough road for us from the very beginning and there is still so much uncertainty looming ahead. So, the question remains - are we truly meant for each other or are we just trying to fit ourselves into a mould that may not be right for either of us?

I suppose only time will tell if our love is strong enough to weather the choppy storms ahead.