Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

T he carriage rumbled along the rutted country road, taking Sarah back to London and a humdrum life. A wistful sigh escaped her. Though she had only been gone a little over a week, she missed her family and looked forward to laughing and chatting with her younger sister. Despite trying to feel positive, the heavy press of her heart was unbearable. She and James had not spoken of what was next, and Sarah had no notion if that meant their attachment was over.

Would he return from Penporth to town? What would it be like when they saw each other again? Would they be polite with each other? Would they revert to trading barbs to hide their attraction? Would he be indifferent to her, or would he merely watch her with that sensual hunger and not reach for her?

Had she dared to throw propriety to the wind and still lost? A tightness across her chest made it difficult to breathe.

"You love him," Frederick said.

Startled, Sarah glanced up to find Colin Fairbanks and her brother staring at her. They both looked saddened. "I beg your pardon?"

"Sarah," Frederick said, "you are crying."

Her heart squeezed violently, and she lifted a gloved hand to her cheek. How silly—she would not have felt the tears through the material, but she certainly felt the splash of her misery down her chin.

"Oh," she said, caught between mortification and more tears. "I cannot say what overcame me."

Her brother sighed. "I know about the tendre you had for James for almost two years, Sarah. That is why I worked so hard just now to get him to agree to marry you! Why did you protest, given how you feel about him?"

"Am I to be happy in a marriage where you had to force a person to offer for me?" She used the back of her gloves to wipe away her tears. "Do not be ridiculous, Frederick."

"Then why are you crying? Such silent tears that they are ripping my damn heart from my chest to see," her brother said gruffly.

She breathed in deeply, slowly, and exhaled with a long sigh. Sarah looked away from him and peered outside the carriage window at the rolling hills they passed. She bit her lower lip to contain the ragged sobs that wanted to rip from her.

This was in line with her expectations. Their moments in the manor were just that—moments. Only she had fallen even deeper in love with James; he had seemed so composed and indifferent. The thought that he might not return her feelings, that their time together might mean nothing more to him than a brief interlude, filled her with despair so profound that she thought it might swallow her whole.

How could she have misread the situation so completely? She had hoped their connection was genuine, that he felt the same way she did. The prospect of returning to London without his assurance left her feeling hollow. The tears continued to fall, silent witnesses to the heartbreak she couldn't contain.

Frederick reached out and took her hand, his grip firm and comforting. "Sarah, we will figure this out. I promise."

She nodded, though her heart ached with uncertainty.

"I have never seen my brother look at another lady like he looks at you," Colin said. "He was always the most practical among us, and Julia often teased him that he would never marry because he does not have a romantic soul. Yet, when I see him watch you … I know my brother, and he cares for you deeply. He may not be overly demonstrative, but his feelings are sincere. Once he returns from Penporth, he will call upon you."

Sarah sniffed. "I will not be waiting on him."

Colin winced. "I understand—"

"I think we should turn the carriage around," she said.

Frederick's eyes widened. " What? "

"Why should I return to town while the man I love goes to Penporth and possibly faces pitchforks and guns, forcing him into a dungeon until he has to marry her?"

Colin made a choking sound, and Frederick scowled.

"It is all those stories she writes," her brother muttered. "Always full of macabre imaginings."

She glared at him. "It is entirely possible … and … and I will not allow that wretch to marry anyone but me."

"That's more like it," Frederick said, giving her a nod of approval. "We cannot let that wretch get away with seducing you. I carried our father's Manton. I can hold him at gunpoint to marry you."

"Have you both forgotten I am here?" Colin growled.

"I do not care—"

Her words broke off as she heard a familiar shout. She shoved open the carriage window, gasping as she saw James riding toward them at an astonishing speed. Sarah's heart started a slow, painful thud.

"It's James! Stop the carriage," she cried. "Something ghastly must have happened!"

Frederick knocked on the carriage roof, and they slowed. The coach had barely stopped when she opened the door and jumped out, running toward him. James brought his horse to a shuddering stop and dismounted.

"What is happening, Fairbanks?" her brother demanded, hastening toward them.

James did not look at her brother, and Sarah gasped when, in a few strides, he was there, hauling her against his chest and slamming his mouth against hers.

Oh!

He kissed her with a desperation that spoke of long-suppressed emotions. Distantly, she heard Frederick clearing his throat and Colin telling him to be silent.

When Sarah and James finally broke apart, both were breathing heavily, their foreheads resting against each other.

"James," she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. "What … what …"

He pulled back slightly, his hands still on her face, his thumbs gently brushing her cheeks. "I love you, Sarah, and a part of me loved you from the moment we met. I was … I was a damn fool for fighting it, believing that I could not be a part of that world for anyone. I can … for you. Bloody hell, I can do anything for you. I did not want to be away from you for days without letting you know."

A warm, melting sensation flowed through her. She leaned in again, her lips brushing his in a soft, lingering kiss. "I love you too, James, so very much."

He gently cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away a stray tear she hadn't realized had fallen. "Forgive me for—"

"Forgiven," she said softly.

James's eyes widened slightly, but then he smiled, a slow, tender smile that made her heart skip a beat.

"Does she not know she is to make the wretch squirm and suffer a little?" Frederick muttered, sounding thoroughly aggrieved. "She could at least pretend for five minutes that she is angry with him."

Still cupping her cheeks, James tugged her face closer to him, their mouths mere inches apart. "Miss Sarah Bloomfield, will you marry me?"

She closed her eyes, a trembling breath escaping her. Then Sarah laughed and tossed her arms around James's neck. "Yes, James Fairbanks, I will marry you."

They hugged, and Sarah buried her face against his chest. "We need to marry before you go to Penporth. That way, no one can steal you from me even if they lock you in a dungeon."

Her brother sighed.

James said, "I agree. Colin, we need a special license."

Frederick choked. "Our mother will not countenance this madness!"

Sarah laughed, hugging James and secretly thinking she would send Mr. Sinclair and his ruffians a thank-you note for kidnapping her love.